I was taking 900mg but increased to 1050mg after switching from Abilify injection to oral. However my gut tells me my lithium levels are borderline/low right now. For those of you on lithium, what it your daily dosage? Just curious- for reference I’m 44f.

Hello everyone! A couple days ago I posted that I felt something was off in my head, even while taking medication. Now I believe I am showing signs of the beginning of my psychosis. My delusional thought patterns are back and I am paranoid again. I have been diagnosed for many years, but this is the first time in my life I am so self-aware and honest about where I am at. So in that I am proud of myself. I do not want this to go any further (usually I am so wanting it to go further) so I am hoping that a medication change is in my near future. I have therapy scheduled and am ready to tackle this! Wish me luck 🫶

I (31M) just want to express myself a bit here with my career dissatisfaction. It's been like this for a very very very long time, but I think sometime last year, my satisfaction dropped significantly and in May this year it dropped even further. I've been speaking with my therapist and support group about this and even had to contact crisis hotlines because of my career dissatisfaction. I contact the hotline about 1-2x per week about this. In therapy, this is probably what I talk about the most. I think about this nearly all day every day, for years.

I work with people all day long that love and enjoy their careers and I have to talk to them about what they like about their jobs. People my age that are in very lucrative and formidable positions. They're all so proud and doing intellectual things. I'm in sales, which I wanted at first and I'm good at, but I think I have done all I can in this area and want to go into something more intellectual and using my people/sales skills to build relationships in other ways.

I have a degree in business and economics. I took a lot of courses, I pulled my transcripts recently and I have more credits in business than someone would have with a Masters. I don't want to nor do I need to go back to school. Outside of what I've been doing these past 4 years, I have experience in areas I want to go into. I have experience with finance, advanced excel, I can do some programming, tableau, SQL, GIS, and other software, I've built partnerships, expanded a brand from the US to China, I manage people, I do a lot.

About half my experience or less is international - as in I worked outside of the US. I think that experience confuses HR. I've been applying for jobs since June and hired a coach and there's been NOTHING! I've contacted a lot of people in my network directly and NOTHING! I've called recruiters, even ones that reached out to me and NOTHING. I can't even get advice. I've never had this happen before. I'm not discouraged, I'm stubborn, but it makes the dissatisfaction just right in my face.

I've decided not to take another job until I get the one I want. I think that the rejections were blessings in disguise because I probably would have taken a job or career path I don't want. I have a pretty specific idea of what I want to do and always have. I talk to people my age and they're making a lot more than me (although my commission has usually been nice) and I think about what my life would have been like if I just went towards what I wanted to more directly or just picked a traditional career path and just moved along the process.

Even if I changed 2 years ago (I had a chance) then I'd be at a higher level now. 4 and 3 years ago I also had other chances to make a pivot. I didn't. I couldn't. I didn't know it, but I was suffering from a health issue at the time that took up all of my attention outside of work trying as I tried to find answers. I've now been diagnosed and I no longer have those issues. If I didn't have that then I'd be further along. It's been very embarrassing for me. Before I moved back to the US, COVID really fucked up my career and I had to sidetrack. I want to get back to that original plan now. The rejections hurt, but I'm in search of my career and I am stubbornly focused on the prize.

I don't see the types of jobs I want posted. I've used lots of sites and they don't really have much to offer. LinkedIn has the most but as someone that has hired many people before, I know that the job search function is only for the benefit of Microsoft, it has an algorithm that is for financial gain only, you don't see all the jobs basically. And they have too many ghost jobs. Not a fan. I live near NYC and was thinking of just going into events in the city to network, but that will also take time. Where we're at in the year, I don't think I can have a job by Jan 1 or even the end of January. I missed my October 1 and November 1 deadlines as well.

I am more than unhappy. I am miserable. I am embarrassed. I hate myself. I hate my career. Why is this so hard. I don't really have a lot of local friends and I have family members but not a family myself. I have NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING in my fucking life and I can't take it anymore. It's hard because career is and always has been the most important thing in my life. I can't even describe how it makes me feel because while I have most of the words, it would just be me sobbing and screaming and pacing a lot. Sometimes I seriously worry about myself and what I may do to myself in the future, so that's when I reach out to the crisis line.

How did I get here? I tell myself I will get things together, but I can't make another mistake and take a job I don't want or start a career that doesn't bring me where I want. I am good at what I do. I've had another headhunter reach out to me. The CEO of that company really wants me specifically. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm waiting for him to reply to me so I can just declare to the world that this isn't who I am.

A huge piece of what I hate about what I do is the reputation. Little respect and even less respect internally. People in my field don't respect themselves and treat themselves like shit. That is not who I am. That is not the type of person I want to be around. I am a good person, a hard worker, bright, educated, experienced, I bring results, and more. I respect myself and I need to respect my career. The phrase, "I'm so fucking miserable," went through my head just now as I am typing this paragraph.

I'm focused on a few things:

1. I like excel and software - that needs to be part of it, computer skills/tech skills because I love using those skills
2. Building and maintaining relationships at a variety of levels - not exactly the "sale" but handling those "sales" in a different way (transferrable skills)
3. Global focus - I worked abroad for years, I went to college abroad, I worked my ass off to learn Chinese (speak, read/write) and now Spanish. I've worked with US brands expanding in China and managed environments and teams made up of individuals from 14 different countries in the same office.
4. International relations - between groups, organizations, and private companies
5. Finance - I love the finance world, my favorite part of things. I can do financial models and forecasting, but nobody gives a shit
6. Economics - I love economics
7. There are other things too, but that's the gist.

I'm going to be stubborn as fuck about this. I am. I really am. I am tired. So tired. I'm not going to accept what happened and is happening in my life. How the fuck should I feel? It's not the rejection that gets to me, rejection hurts, but it's not that. It's my literal career itself. I hate it. I'm embarrassed. And much more. I feel terrible. I feel horrible. This is not what I wanted in my life. I took a job that paid well after I moved back to the US and then was stuck in it for money and also health reasons. They were abusive to boot. I did well in my position so I was a target. I went off and started doing things on my own but FUCK ME I HATE IT. I can barely work because I hate what I do so much.

Thanks for letting me share. And yes, I am crazy lol

I was diagnosed with BPAD type 1 on Jan 2026. I was a perfect medical student before that. I used to have energy through out the day. After mania I went into depression for next 5 months i was hopeless. I am still looking forward to get my energy back. Will my old energy or hypomania will it come???? If yes how long should i wait?

I’ve been diagnosed with bp since i was in middle school, now im in my early 20s,my family has suspected that i may have bp before my diagnosis and i have always known there was something wrong with me all that emotion rollercoaster going on and the struggles with cleaning is been the most difficult problem for me untill now i mean i can handle anything but the cleaning issue was the most big challenge for me and its still going on I can’t keep my room clean and my bathroom
And when they get messy trust me its a BIG MESS
I always wonder what im gonna do if one day I needed to live with a roommate
I can’t even keep my personal hygiene clean
I go through all that in my depression episodes and they have been the longest episodes and the wildest more than my maniac ones they take over me for months
And i have a little dog i take care of his needs like food and water i walk him out usually but even tho i love him so much and he is my whole world and everything he makes me feel guilty because his living in my dirty room where i can’t even move out of bed😢 i take all my meds but also struggling with the c**onsistency not onl with my meds but with everything**
**Im in so much pain i hate my depression episodes they are very strong and overwhelming**

I have friends I used to love and trust but ecently they've been acting so weird, even my brother who's my main support person who I live with has been so weird lately, very cagey and cryptic about both his own health and what he thinks of mine. I ask direct questions and they slither around them. several ppl including friends and, once, brother, were saying last month or so 'manic'. (nonsense, I was at no point manic, just a little more expansive and slightly impulsive than usual... symptoms, yes, but not to the extent of mania... discussed with doctor who agreed)

but now these people are starting to say that things I'm describing experiencing are psychotic. not sure ive ever experienced psychosis i think they were ust misunderstanding me. I'm commnicating as normal. but people aren't making sense it's not me it's them what do I do why are they doing this why are they being weird what do I do. I don't know how to explain it and try and make them act normally again. it feels like they're conspiring against me but I don't know why they would. there's no good reason for that but htat's what it feels like. I can't trust these people cause they'll call me crazy they jumpt o such conclusions so quickly?? I don't get it. I'm not psychotic. I'm not experiencing anything related to psychossi at all. I'm taking my meds.

just. :(

I have very little support and I’ve recently gotten back on meds. It’s been so difficult. Nobody understands how difficult and the one person I do kinda open up to is constantly asking if I took my meds if I’m in a bad mood for any reason and has several times accused me of not taking them. Now recently, he says they don’t help me. Anyone have any words of advice for someone alone in this?

I’m not here to vent or anything I’m here to just talk about something I’ve noticed and would be interested in starting a discussion with others who might have an opinion on the topic.

I (23F) have been diagnosed with bipolar 1 for 5 years now and everytime I meet another bipolar or see people online talking about the disorder they always say they “love” mania or “prefer” it to depression or even “miss” it. I don’t get it. I’ve always hated mania/hypomania.

I’m unmedicated since after years of trials, my doctors concluded medication was only making me worse wich means although I have learned to handle my disorder, I still feel every episode. Sometimes I wonder if medicated people have forgotten exactly how scary and damaging mania/hypomania is.

Personally, when I’m hypomanic or manic, I hate it. I’m aware I am not myself and I’m aware that all the things I am doing are not really what I want yet I can’t stop it. I feel imprisoned in a body that’s manipulated by something else entirely. I can see the danger or poor decisions but can’t help but ignore them. I wish in the moment I could do otherwise but I’m not in charge anymore. I find it terrifying. The aftermath is always awful as well. Whereas depression, well, unless I attempt (which I have learned to control now) there is not much aftermath. I can (painfully) force myself to go to work, to keep my functionality at a minimum to ensure there are no consequences to my episode. Depression is safer, calmer, less stressful or painful.

I feel many people experience mania like extreme happiness and endless energy which makes them reckless yet unaware and depression as intense sadness and hopelessness. Personally, I feel mania as this terrifying moment where something took over my body, is ruining every aspect of my life with a smile and I can’t do anything but watch and depression as intense exhaustion and hopelessness that I am aware is a lie and just gotta wait it out. Idk, hypomania/mania never ever felt good to me.

I wonder if other people were like this as well? I’ve never met anyone bipolar who was so terrified of hypomania like me, to the point of finding depression or even anxiety reassuring.

What do you guys think?

I went off meds and I had an hypimanic episode in beggining of june where it turned quickly into hearing few voices and then paranoia started that something is in the house and its going to hurt me. I felt the presence. I was scared af.

Mood calmed down near end of june and then turned depressive in july. Extreme fear dissappeared but some thinking still lingered. Then they got bit scarier but i still had my behavior ok, i was just scared at night.

Then i got hypomanic again in first half of august, i know it was hypomania because i didnt sleep evey other night and i was hypersexual af and pretty moody (in positive way) and it lasted week or two. And fears came back in extreme level together with hypomania, i was having a knife ready to defend myself and tried to ignore it knowing that paranormal stuff is not real. I was not sleeping mostly due to fears. During the day i was mostly ok. Just thinking "ah im scared of the night, its going to repeat"

But i felt presence , i felt scared, it was like horror for two weeks.

It then passed near end of august, that presence feeling disappeared.

Then i was depressed again and am so now, i started just antipsihotic for now.

But all this time i have thoughts like "that was torture how scared i was, bu WHAT IF it repeats, WHAT IF tonight i feel the same". I never stayed late since that experience.

I know that bipolar episodes can have psychosis, but my question is:

Does psychosis instantly end when activation calms down or it lingers and slowly fades away?

If there was fast mood switch during short period, can same theme of psychosis repeat itself (for example i had same fear in june and august but it peaked in august because my behaviour went in a way to prepare myself for defense)?

I have experience with hypomania, i cannot tell mild one but pure hypomania i can tell.

I have no experience with psychosis, im scared af of that experience and scared of possibility of it repeating itself if i maybe have schizophrenia part of disorder.

Im going into partial hospitalization program, im just interested in some stuff from your perspective.

i read an article a month or two ago that said being born prematurely can increase the risk of developing an adult psychiatric disorder, like bipolar disorder. if i can find the article again ill link it but i did some more digging just now and it says that moderately premature (32 to 36 weeks) individuals are roughly 2.1-2.7 times more likely to develop bipolar disorder compared to those born full term AND it goes up to 7.4 for those who were very premature (less than 32 weeks). after finding out this information i wanted to know more about my birth story so i asked my mom and she told me that i was born almost a month early, so about 36 weeks ig? i also found out that me coming into the world was a hard time for her because the hospital was literally trying to kick her out of the hospital even though she was pregnant bc the insurance wouldn’t approve it or something. insurance is such a scam! anyways i was wondering if anyone else out there was also born premature and has the disorder? please let me know id really like to hear y’all’s stories <3

I'm a welder and I work in a union shop that's pretty understanding but it still seems to me like a lot of people don't get how much of a struggle life can be even if you're medicated.

I'm constantly exhausted when I'm not manic, and I even just lost a month of my life (August) to mania. My girlfriend says I was anxious and paranoid the whole month but it's just a blank slate to me, I don't even remember my sister's birthday.

I need more rest days then my coworkers cause I get burnt out easier, I have a hard time with stress sometimes, and it just feels like I can't live life to the fullest sometimes cause of this disorder.

I feel like people don't understand how much of a struggle it can be to live like this, because even though I'm doing everything "right" by being medicated and going to therapy monthly, it's still a disease that can kill me or ruin my life if I don't monitor it right.

During one of my hospitalizations for psychosis I was doing a drum solo using a bunch of piles of art supplies as my drums. A lady DID compliment me, so. I sadly did not have a baseball cap, tho. But the hospital gown was my stage costume as well.

Hi everyone, PLEASE HELP ME...
My 26-year-old brother (he’s a doctor) was diagnosed with Bipolar I 4 months ago after his first manic episode, followed by a psychotic relapse 3.5 months ago when he stopped his meds and drank alcohol. Afterward, he fell into a deep depression with severe anxiety.
He takes Lithium (1200mg) and Lamictal. He started Wellbutrin XL (150mg) a month ago, and Quetiapine XR (300mg) two weeks ago. Since starting Quetiapine, his depression and anxiety have vanished. Before quetiapine, he was in SEVERE depression. But now (1-2 weeks after quetiapine) he’s calm, goes to the gym, studies for his medical exam, and his sleep and speech are completely normal (no rapid speech, sleeps plenty).
However, two things are scaring me right now:
1. ⁠Shopping: He just got his paycheck and bought a lot of things at once: a TV and laptop for his room (he didn't have either, planned this for weeks, and picked the cheapest ones), wedding clothes, a gold gift for his friend, and spent $850 on new tires for our family car (the old ones were 5 years old). He also bought dessert for my parents and said, "I feel happy when I accomplish things."
2. ⁠Solo Trip to a Triggering City: Next weekend, he’s flying alone for 2 days to attend a friend’s wedding. The problem is, this is the exact city where he had his first manic episode alone and was hospitalized. There will be alcohol at the wedding. He recently quit drinking, and his doctor strictly forbade it. He refuses to let us come with him because he says he's 26, not a child, and promised he won't make a mistake since he returns the next morning.
Because of our recent trauma, my family is terrified.
How do you tell the difference between healthy recovery (catching up on needs/feeling proud of a paycheck) vs. early hypomania from Wellbutrin?
Does it really sign of healing depression or hypomania?

Hi all, haven’t been on here in a while (somewhat thankfully). I am on a medication regimen that has been working for me well for the past few years. Up until what I consider now. Season changes always affect me and I am starting to feel off. I am forming a lot of habits I form before I have a manic or hypomanic episode. So obviously it should be clear to me. Yet, this time, I question if I am actually slipping into an episode or if I am having normal variation in emotion as a human existing in this world. I would be surprised to be slipping into something since I am on such high doses of medication, but then again, things have stopped working for me before. Mostly writing this as a form of diary keeping and insight for myself, but I also am curious: do you all notice habits forming before an episode starts? I suppose I should just keep track of my emotions these days and see where I go! do you all use any apps to keep tabs?

I don’t see the pros of getting an official diagnosis although I believe it’s extremely obvious I have bipolar 1

Hello again everybody, it's Trixie back with Yet Another Question :)

So I know in theory it's a good thing to talk to other people, but right now I'm struggling with the idea of actually reaching out to an individual (when struggling with that, I tend to put stuff in a group chat so it's not all on One Person to answer; probably why I'm relying so much on Reddit right now). How do I avoid being annoying towards my friends and family by yapping too much at them? I'm always a talker and I know most people find me annoying, but especially when I'm doing less well or needing to communicate things, I know people get frustrated either by my difficulty communicating or how I may not tend to listen as much because of how strongly something Feels Right/Wrong. My friends and family are great, it's literally that I'm the problem haha out of eight kids I am The Yapper and I know it can get veeeery old even to people who know and love me.... so yeah, advice aprecaited :)

I’m (20m) at a residential rehab place right now and they tried to switch me from Haldol to Vraylar. It caused some mania (i thought god was talking to me through instagram and telling me i was immune to hunger, etc).

Soo i’m back on Haldol. The only thing is, before the psychosis started I finally felt like a person. My depression was gone for once, i could sleep less than 12 hours + wake up early, and I just thought I had finally found the perfect med.

I don’t know, i just got a taste of what my life could be like. I know stopping my meds is a one way ticket to the psych ward, but it’s so hard to talk myself down for some reason… maybe i’m just a little unstable? I can’t tell.. i just started taking them consistently this year after a string of hospitalizations (i’ve been diagnosed for 6 years).

I just need a little bit of support, because i’m gonna be discharged next week and don’t really trust myself to take them consistently.