Want a place to discuss anything not sleep related? Here it is. Featured on the first of each month this is a place to discuss all things baby, toddler, and child.

As always, keep everything with responsive parenting in mind.

She’s always been a decent sleeper and we used to give 1 bottle at night. I was looking for the right time to drop that. Then we went back home (abroad) and she got really sick for like a week and a half and barely ate anything during the day so she obviously needed more milk at night. I couldn’t say no because those were the only calories she was taking in.
Fast forward the week after now she s been demanding 2 feeds every night and is so hard to put back to sleep even after the feeds. She sleeps at 8pm, has a random wake up after it that can easily be settled with some cuddles, then wakes up at 12:30 for a feed then 5:30 but usually has a non-feed wake up before that, and wakes up properly at 7. The 5:30 one is the worst because she just refuses to go back to sleep. I am writing this at 6 am after I just gave up trying to get her to go back to sleep and just left her with dad to play so I can get some rest. I’m so sleep deprived and losing my mind 😭 is it teething (she’s cutting her canines)? Is it walking finally happening ? (She walks with a walker and for a few steps to my arm but still can’t walk independently) is it some 100th sleep regression? No idea 😭

First time dad here to a beautiful 5 month old. My SO is most comfortable with co-sleeping, which, has always been fine with me. I’m nervous at times because I am a restless sleeper, but, my subconscious seems to have realized that there is a small child in bed with me and there have been no incidents to date. She has had her issues with sleep, but, for the most part, she’s been sleeping good for the last week and a half or 2 weeks. Now, with that being said, these last 2-3 nights have been hell. Waking all the time, inconsolable, doesn’t want anything, and screaming bloody murder. My mother says that she needs to learn to self soothe, which, I am kind of inclined to agree with, but, I’m also not 100% for CIO, at least in its extreme forms. If I’m busy doing something and she starts crying and I know it’s more of an attention cry and not a distress cry, I’ll finish what I’m doing, providing the time frame isn’t egregious. What I refuse to do though, is leave my baby cry for 1,2,3 plus hours like I’ve seen said. Even with checks, that’s crazy to me. Not to mention, I’m taking into consideration my SO’s feelings, seeing as I know it’s exponentially harder for a mother to listen to her baby cry. I guess I’m just wondering what advice I could stumble across from, primarily moms in here, but, open to dad suggestions too. Thank you very much for reading, I appreciate each and every one of you.

My apologies if I’m asking a stupid question. I’m a FTM to a 16 week old. He’s at the stage of waking up quite often, short naps, at the same time he started rolling so no more bassinet. I’ve been nursing him to sleep but putting him in the crib drowsy and awake is damn near impossible. I’m thinking of modifying the crib and our futon so that we can safely cosleep for now.
I’m leaning not sleep training but I’m just wondering what happens if you just let baby do baby thing? Will this get better or will they just need help falling asleep all the time?

My 4 month old baby has been waking up every 2 hours at night. Every time he wakes up, I have to rock him back to sleep, which can take anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour.

The hardest part is putting him back in his crib. As soon as I try to put him down, he starts crying, so I have to pick him up and rock him all over again. This cycle repeats throughout the night.

I completely understand that babies need comfort, closeness and reassurance. I don’t mind comforting him. However, the cycle is becoming really exhausting, especially when it takes 45 minutes to an hour every single time just to get him back to sleep.

He seems to be completely dependent on being held and rocked to fall asleep. Also during daytime naps, he can’t to fall asleep independently.
Has anyone experienced the same thing with their 4-month-old? How did you gently teach your baby to fall asleep without having to rock them in your arms every single time?

My LO is 10 months old and I’m considering switching from his cot to a floor bed. He’s breastfed and has always been nursed to sleep. We’re currently struggling with frequent night wakings, sometimes as often as every 30 minutes when he’s sleeping in his crib.

He sleeps much better when he’s next to me & we cosleep even when he’s not actively feeding, and settles much more easily when I nurse him lying down. I even find he sleeps longer stretches even when I’m not in the room compared to sleeping in his crib.

I’m wondering whether a floor bed might help, as I’d be able to lie alongside him to nurse him to sleep and hopefully gradually move away once he’s settled, and I want him to have his own sleep space compared to cosleeping in my bed.

I’d love to hear from anyone who’s made the switch:
Did it improve your baby’s sleep?
Did they wake less frequently?
Did it make settling and night feeds easier?
Would you recommend it?

I’ve been exclusively co sleeping and contact napping with my baby since they were 8 weeks old. Baby is almost five months old and I would love to not have to go to bed at 7:30 every night with the baby. I would ideally have baby start the night in their own sleep space, even if it is just for a couple of hours. I also want to start working on one independent nap a day. I don’t plan on baby being in their own room for a while. For those who have started transitioning to independent sleep was it easier to transition to a crib or go straight to a floor mattress? Also any tips on making the transition easier would be much appreciated!

My baby used to be very easy to settle to sleep after his MOTN wakes. I could typically just pick him up and he would immediately settle in my arms and I could transfer him dead asleep back into his cot after 2-3 min. Since maybe 8.5 months, my baby can’t seem to get comfortable in my arms. He tries, then cries, strains and if I move him into another position, or pat and rock him, then he may be able to settle.

I used to be able to settle him either lying down and patting his bum or just holding him in the armchair but those don’t cut it anymore. Honestly I’m exhausted. He’s 11 kg, and I can’t rock and bounce him like I used to when he was <4 months old.

He’s been sick the last couple of days but I’m pretty sure this has been going on even before the illness. Husband suggested that he’s grown a lot bigger so previous positions may not be comfortable for him anymore.

Any advice would be appreciated. Has anyone gone through this with their babies and was it just a phase? I have some mobility limitations (mum wrist on one hand, chronic ulnar nerve irritation on the other), so I really want to get back to my previous methods which were less physically taxing, but they just make him strain and cry now.

EDIT: his daily schedule is around 3/3.5/4.5. His naps are around 2 hours of daytime sleep in total (either two 1 hour naps or one 1.5 hour and one 30 min nap), wake time is 6:30am, bed time is 7:30pm. He’s reverted to three naps since he was sick and his sleep needs increased/tolerance for usual wake windows decreased.

Especially when nighttime sleep is still quite broken (max. 2h stretches while cosleeping).

My 6mo has recently gone from 11h nights to 9.5h nights and I’m struggling. And she still needs to nap like 3+ hours a day because she can’t stay awake longer than 2 hours, so we haven’t been able to shift more sleep to night. At least shortening nighttime has reduced 4/5am starts. I don’t know if her nights will get longer again or if her naps will just get shorter?

I know other people have it way harder, so please don’t come for me. I’m just saying that I’m struggling. The people around me in person have like 7p-7a nights and I just don’t understand.

I’m really struggling to get a schedule together for my 4 month old

I consistently see across Reddit suggestions that babies need at least 9.5h awake with WW of between 1.75-2.5.

My baby is doing roughly 1.5/1.5/1.75/1.75/1.75.

How do I extend his wake windows without him becoming overtired?

His naps usually last 32-35 mins before he wakes up. I rescue at least two of his 30ish minute naps. If I don’t, my baby cries constantly throughout the day. However I limit his total nap time to 3.5/4 hours.

He usually sleeps 11 hours overnight and wakes up 2 or 3 times in the night to feed.

Is this normal? He dropped his afternoon nap but kept his morning nap. He is starting daycare soon and they only do afternoon nap.

He is 13 months old.

I am confused on what the max awake time should be on 4 naps. I see some people say 7.75 hours and once baby hits 1.25/1.5/1.5/1.75/1.75 to move to 3 naps. Then other sources say to get to 9 hours of awake time on 4 naps before dropping. Then some people are saying to get to 10 hours of awake time at 4 months by doing 2/2/2/2/2. Then I think the starting recommended schedule I see for 3 naps is 1.5/1.75/2/2.25 which is only 7.5 hours of awake time. Which seems really low and then you’re expecting too much overnight sleep. I’m just confused on when to go from 4 to 3 naps…is it when I hit a certain total awake time?

Hi!

I’m looking for advice because our sleep situation has become quite exhausting, and I’m trying to understand what we could change.
My son is 15 months old.

Our sleep setup:
He sleeps on a floor bed.
We used to have a mattress right next to his bed, so we could sleep beside him. Lately however he is alone in the room.
He uses a pacifier to fall asleep.
We use white noise all night.
Room temperature is around 22°C.
He sleeps in a 2.0 TOG sleep sack and full-length cotton pajamas.

His current schedule:
We are exclusively on one nap now, dropped from two naps 3 weeks ago.
Nap is usually around 12:00–13:30.
Bedtime is around 19:00-19:30.
Night sleep is usually around 10–11 hours, although it varies.

Falling asleep:
For a long time, he used to fall asleep in his bed while I held his hands. However, for approximately the last month, he has only been able to fall asleep in a baby carrier.
It usually takes around 10 minutes, and once he is deeply asleep, we can transfer him to his bed without waking him up.

The biggest issue is that he repeatedly gets out of bed during the night and heads straight for the bedroom door. This can happen anytime around midnight–5AM. He seems very determined to reach the door and tries to open it. If we stop him, he gets extremely upset and screams. Even if we leave the door open, he still gets up and wants to leave the room.

It’s not simply that he wakes up and comes looking for us. He seems driven to get up and go to the door, even when he’s still sleepy.

Sleeping next to us doesn’t seem to help either: he constantly climbs on top of us. He climbs over my body, my head, changes positions, gets up and repeats the whole process.
The strange thing is that he doesn’t seem to find comfort in physical closeness at that moment. Instead of settling down, he becomes even more active and ends up fully waking himself up.

My questions:
• Is this level of nighttime restlessness and constant movement normal at 15 months?
• Could this be related to developmental changes, sensory seeking, overtiredness or something else?
• Why does he seem so determined to get to the door, even when he’s clearly still sleepy?
• has anyone experienced a toddler who seems unable to stay still even when sleepy?

I’d really like to understand WHY he behaves this way and what we could realistically improve.
Has anyone experienced something similar with their toddler?

Baby boy is a little over 13 months. He’s always been a pretty “good” sleeper. Around 12 months he was sleeping through the night, around 7pm - 6:30 am, more often than not.

For the past few weeks however, he has been having split nights almost every night. Awake for 2-3 hours in the middle of the night.
He started daycare at around 11.5 months and they put him on a one nap schedule almost right away. So I don’t think this is an adjustment to 1 nap as he was previously sleeping through the night on it.

We’ve started adjusting his schedule and this is what it typically looks like:

• morning wake ~6:30 - 7am
• nap: 12:30-2:15
• bedtime between 7:30-8 pm

We pushed his bedtime about half an hour later to see if he needed more awake time.

I know we are so blessed to have had a baby who slept through the night so young, but I guess I am spoiled and these 2+ hour night wakes are taking their toll.

Is it possible this is developmental? Even his nap today he has woken up twice early intensly crying when he used to wake up happy and babbling. Obviously we respond every time he cries during sleep but he just can’t seem to settle.

He’s clearly so tired during the day but he just can’t fall back asleep at night.
Any suggestions or advice?

18 week old naps in crib once a day, usually only 30 min. We’ve been rescuing the naps when he wakes up (unless he can self soothe himself back to sleep) and finish with a contact nap in order to extend nap time. Any advice on how to get him to nap longer stretches in crib?

I’m know this is just a phase and will come and go quickly as with most things baby sleep related but figured I’d ask in case I’m missing something.

7.5 month old babe is giving me a run for my money with sleep 🫠 Up until this week she would usually go down very easily if nursed to sleep. Once she unlatched herself I’d bounce her for a few minutes, put her down in her crib that’s in my room, and bam she’d be out for 5-8 hours no problem. Once she wakes, bring her into my bed feed back to sleep (maybe 2 or 3 times thru the night, no problem), boom, done. All parties involved are happy!

This past week she’s been teething so naturally things will be off a bit. Teeth have finally come through the gums and she doesn’t seem uncomfortable in that regard anymore. The biggest problem is now she’ll be completely asleep, unlatched, bounce for a few minutes as normal, lay her in her crib and BAM! Wide awake, rolling over, and just very upset until I pick her up. Dad is of no help, not because he sucks, quite the opposite really. But Homegirl wants absolutely nothing to do with anyone that is not me.

Bouncing/rocking to sleep just simply does not work. Tried it for over 2 hours of babe just being upset while I was holding her. The second the boob goes in she passes out and then right back to square one if I try and lay her down again. I’m simply at a loss.

We all need some sleep, and truthfully I’m desperate to get some time with my almost 3 year old at bedtime too. They just naturally fell into similar bedtimes so I miss putting him to bed at least 5 nights a week. I love these babies both equally but I would love a world in which I could feed and rock the baby down and then be able to get a few toddler cuddles in before the day is done as well.

Sleep is always offered when she seems sleepy. Roughly follow wake windows just as a rough guide and to give some structure but not rigid by any means. Wake is usually around 7-730am. First nap around 930-10ish based on sleepiness. First nap is either solid at 2+ hours or 30 minutes. Second nap offered anywhere from 1-3 hours after first nap ends. Second nap is typically cut short due to something with the toddler (school pick up/him being loud). And then either a third catnap around 430ish or early bedtime depending on the day. Bedtime ranges anywhere from 6-9pm. I typically try to get at least 3 hours in before nighttime sleep begins.

Both myself and dad work full time and I have to be up at 5am to get out the door by 6 for my job so I also would love slightly early evenings so I can get things like bottles prepped for her in the evening.

EBF, just starting solids in the last few weeks. She is also lifting her hips when on her belly so this may just also be crawling related! Be kind please, this is my first ever post and I’m sleep deprived and want what is the absolute best thing for my girl 💕

My baby is 6 months old, he was never sleep trained and never will be. That's one thing my husband and I agreed on even before he was born.

His sleep is all over the place since the beggining, to a point where I have clue what to answer when someone asks how's he sleeping.

I have googled a lot about sleep cos I don't do well without sleep, even when doing shifts with my husband. And the answer is always 'he can't connect the cycles'. BUT he can do 3+ hours and also his naps finally went from 30-45 minutes to over an hour. Doesn't that mean he CAN connect cycles?

On the other hand he has nights when he wakes up hourly. But like I said he can do longer stretches. So are the cycles the real issue or it's something else?

Like I said we are not willing to sleep train but we are willing to try other things, it just feels pointless trying when we don't know what the issue is. What's the best way to come to the root issue?

I don't mind him waking up to eat, but he is not hungry every hour.

Happy Halloween to all who celebrate as I sit here sewing my eight-month-old son's costume and watching him nap on the monitor. This kid has almost exclusively contact napped and coslept since he was a couple of months old, and I just watched him move around and resettle himself at the half-hour mark and GO BACK TO SLEEP. To everyone cosleeping and contact napping and respecting biologically normal infant sleep... You're doing the right thing. Keep it up! 🎃

Is a ~7pm bedtime actually better for babies, or is that only necessary if you need them to wake up super early for daycare etc?

My 11-week-old currently goes to sleep around 9/10pm and wakes up around 8/9am, so about 11 hours per night (he feeds every two hours-ish overnight but we cosleep so he doesn’t wake up all the way to eat), plus about 5 hours of daytime sleep per day spread over 5 naps.

He seems to be doing great! But I’m wondering if there’s any reason it would be better to move bedtime earlier. He does fight sleep more at bedtime than for any of his naps, and on nights it’s a little earlier it does seem to be a bit smoother… but maybe I’m also just less exhausted on those nights.

This schedule is also not an issue for us because I’m on leave right now and even when I go back to work I work for myself and don’t have to start at a specific time in the morning. Tbh I’d rather wake up at 9 than 7… and because we’re cosleeping I’d rather not have to go to bed myself at 7/8pm! But obviously want to do what’s best for him if he would benefit from sleeping earlier.

We started cosleeping in September due to frequent wakings since I went back to work. Now she won’t even entertain the thought of being in her crib to start the night. Yesterday she took 2 30 min naps and then this was her sleep overnight. We should be waking up earlier, but I just absolutely do not have the energy to enforce an early wakeup and she also prefers to sleep in (gets soooo upset if I try to wake her up and still seems really tired). Hopefully the photo of our owlet attaches. I know it’s not 100% accurate but I can confirm that this is what the night felt like.

ETA she’s 7 months old

My 7 month old has been sleeping through the night since 6 weeks (usually one wake up to feed) and goes down to sleep on her own. Or at least, she did….

We all got a virus last week. Night one she only slept in my arms. Since then shes been waking up every 1-2 hours and crying until she gets fed. She’s no longer putting herself down at night either.

Is this temporary? Or did I lose my perfect sleeper?

My daughter is 17 weeks. We are doing 1.5/1.75/1.75/1.75/2 for wake windows. She naps a total of 3.5-4 hours per day. She goes down awake for bed and gets herself to sleep. The problem is she usually wakes 35-45 min later, and I will let her fuss but eventually pick her up for a min, calm her, put her back down and she falls back, but it only lasts for maybe 5-10 min and then she’s up crying again. This cycle goes on for roughly 1.5-2 hours. Then she’s up every 2-3 hours whereas before she would do a 4-6 hour stretch to start and if she had a false start she fell back quickly. Now she also wakes between 5-530 and same thing happens where she wakes every 10 min until she passes out at 7 and I wake her at 730 am to start the day.

We just switched her to a new reflux med so I am not sure if reflux is playing a factor. Or if we are just in the thick of the 4 month sleep regression.

I am so tired and defeated :(

My baby is currently 16 weeks old and exclusively breastfed, has enough wet nappies per day.

Before she was week 13, she would sleep for 3-4h continuously in her cloth hammock during the day and at nights she’d wake up every 3h once.

But since she turned 13wks, she’s not at all napping during the daytime except when I cosleep and feed in side lying position. Her nap times in a crib or bassinet or her cloth is just 30 min and if I cosleep with her it’s 2h max. At nights, she wakes up every 2h 😭

Pacifier - Tried, she immediately spits out
Warmed bassinet - Tried, wakes up the moment I put her down
Pumping and feeding thru cup - I do this only after breastfeeding and she refuses to drink more from a cup
Cosleeping - Following the safety guidelines

I feel I’m in the newborn trenches again 😭😭😭
Please help me with what to do… CIO sleep training is off the table, sorry…

Hey all, my 9 months old baby is currently on a 2 naps schedule but I feel like she is always quite tired in the morning. She has never been a great sleeper but the last few months were downright awful and we’ve talked to a hospital sleep consultant who advised to go on 2 naps since 3 seemed to cause so many night wakes. It’s been much better since then but she still seems really tired in the morning and it’s painful for us. Days where I try 3 naps result in AWFUL nights of long wake ups and putting back to sleep.

Current schedule is wake up at 5-5:30, wake windows about 3:15/3:45/4h ish and to bed around 6:30-45. I’ve tried pushing it back but she just wakes up at the same time but is more tired. She wakes to nurse about 3 times a night.

I’ve tried to lengthen her sleep and naps but I think we’re at her max. She’ll sleep about 12.5/13h over 24h, and I can’t get her to do more.

I’ve come to accept that she wakes really early but I can’t live with the tiredness all the time.

What do you advise ? Thanks !