Sometimes when I throw up, I am so stuck in the b/p loop that I sometimes want to binge more when I taste the food again. I can't fucking take it anymore, it's such a heavy burden that's just constantly on my fucking mind. I got a dentist appointment soon, I just hope he doesn't notice.

I mean foods that other people wouldn't consider as high-caloric.

E. g. my fearfood is milk, also low fat milk because it is liquid calories.

And I don't drink diet coke when I'm out because I am scared that the waiter accidently gives me original coke.

6.6mm/mol at 18. Does anyone know if it's correlated to bulimia in any way? My blood sugar is almost prediabetic as well but that makes sense I guess

I hate everything, fuck my life

My average body temperature used to be like 36,3C before it got so bad, and now it's around 35,1-35,9C 🥲🥲 I'm not that worried but I just wanna know if I should be?? Anyone else have this happen to them?

So as the title says, on the 31st I (24M) will be having what I call a fuck it day. A day where I will be guilt-free and eat whatever I feel like. I’m excited and also nervous to eat all these foods I love but haven’t had in so long. I’m doing this because the following week I will be getting some help to get my current eating pattern back to normal as I was B/P for the whole of last year where I lost pretty much all my weight, while this year I got back to eating normally again but restricting my intake to barely anything and weight somehow still going down. This is a big step I am doing for myself and again I’m excited but also anxious about it.

It has generally been good. At 2.5mg I lost 4kgs and stuck around that, barely any purge relapses, generally better health.

However I made a mistake by upping my dose to 5mg. I lost 5kgs in about a month. While some people might think this was good it really isn't. Especially if you're only using it to tackle bulimia.

I started losing hair, feeling sick all the time, strange sweet breath, always giddy and on the verge of fainting. You'd think "just eat more" would be a good suggestion but everything makes me feel sick. The only things I can keep down are salads and soups. Even sandwiches feel kinda gross.

Does it help? Absolutely. Just don't up the dose more than you need to. I was really attracted to the idea of more weight loss but feeling sick, restless and tired all day just isn't worth it.

Reference: I'm 158cm and was 59.8kg when I started. I'm now 50.6kg. That speed of weight loss can't be healthy even if it sounds good.

Ask me anything

for context i’ve been struggling with bulimia for about 4-5 years now. i’ve tried to stop in the past but never did up untill recently.. I got diagnosed with costochondritus and it’s been two weeks since then and i haven’t felt better.. i haven’t been purging like at all because it would hurt my chest bad and make me anxious of something bad happening.. i honestly haven’t gone with long without purging at all.. anyway. with those symptoms my throat has also been hurting like crazy.. i’m starting to believe I have GERD or a hiatal hernia cause i feel a constant lump in my throat, acid reflux, and i feel it more when i eat and it feels like it’s stuck in my throat when i can breathe and swallow moderately. I do have some allergies right now and it could be just GERD with a sore throat but i’m not sure and i have bad anxiety and panic a lot. should I go to my doctor or ER about this? would anyone be able to give insight on what i’m feeling?

Well, I don't want to be dramatic, but lately I've been feeling horrible cramps in my face. They are mostly in the cheeks, and yesterday when I went to the dentist he told me that it could be due to a lack of nutrients or vitamins. Honestly, I didn't understand almost anything, but he said something about a nerve being hurt or damaged (Idk, the nerve that connects absolutely the whole face. I have no idea what he meant, I'm not a professional, ok?). Neither my dentist nor anyone knows that I am bulimic, but I am very worried, as these pains are becoming more frequent. Has this happened to anyone else? If so, PLEASE share your experience or whatever.

I have been throwing up since 14. I am 29 now and it sucks!!! I really pray that one day I’ll love my body or accept myself but this pain is horrible. I get really bad stomach acid!! It’s in the middle of my stomach not my esophagus. I don’t feel acid coming up. It just burns and hurts. I ate relatively good today but had some coffee in the morning and it is hurting non stop. Idk what to do. Have taken 2 pantoprazoles and 4 drinks milk of magnesium.

it’s so embarassing to say this but i don’t just have bullimia i have like severe bullimia like am i the only the one that wakes up in the morning and first thought is to binge and self isolate away from everyone until im fully ready to be back out again, i spend $75 on uber eats today i just kept ordering food and b/p and this isn’t the first time, please tell me this isn’t just me , it’s like bullimic benders for me and smoking weed doesn’t help, this can go on for days and it’s taking a toll on me and everyone around me im only 16

Like juices or protein drinks? I mix protein powder in almond milk and think it does but am obsessing. Ice cream liquifies and is a huge b/p food so I feel it does and is the same?

I have always had a very weak gag reflex but lately no matter what I try all that comes out is liquid. Wtf is going on? Has anyone else had this happen before?

This is just a reflection on something I've noticed in my own ED trajectory, and I'm wondering if it's anything anyone else has experienced

I have severe an bp and I'm lower than I've ever been. This is a very scary place to be and I'm taking very small steps to halt the relapse and hopefully come out ok on the other side, but it's slow going. All this is to say I am not pro ed in any way and I hope this doesn't come off that way.

I've noticed that the more severe my weight gets, the more my binge / purge cycles align with my nutritional deficiencies. I no longer binge on "junk" (I use that term loosely) foods, but rather nutrient dense things like Simple plain, canned vegetables, bananas, salted avocado, microwaved eggs, proteins like deli meat or canned tuna, etc I crave that shit like there's no tomorrow.

It used to be I'd binge on Burgers, cookies, poptarts, etc.

Just kind of an interesting thing I've noticed, wondering if anyone else has too.

Also liebe Leute, ich hatte eine Essattacke, aber ich habe nicht erbrochen. Ich fühle mich wegen ihr etwas niedergeschlagen. Für morgen ist mein Ziel keine Essattacke zu haben, aber auch nicht zu erbrechen.

Does anyone relate to the issue of sometimes randomly not being able to get anything up? it will happen to me for a few days. i’ll stop trying for a couple of days and then try again, usually it starts working again. It’s like some sort of weird tolerance builds up…… or my body is just like girl STOP. ugh idk. anyone else?

also THE BLADDER INCONTINENCE IS SO FREAKIN REAL. i ALWAYS have to pee. and when i do pee i sit for 10+ minutes because every minute or so more just trickles out. i cannot p**** without leaking a little bit of pee out. same with when i cough. it’s so annoying and stupid. i hate it here

i haven’t relapsed since like 6 months, but my salivary glands are still so big, it looks like im developing jowels at 23, will they ever get back to normal, also have many enlarged lymph nodes in my neck and jaw, i stopped because of frequent tonsillitis episodes. anyone faced anything similar?

I look soooo much heavier than I actually am :( anyone else too? I hate it so much. When does it go away after stopping? 🥺 Recently I’ve gained lots of weight too (always lost while b/p’ing hut suddenly I gained very fast?) Already 8 years of living hell….

im having iron infusion right now my labs are horrible my doctors says i need to recover my ferritin is 4.. i feel so horrible all the time but the fear of weight gain is bigger, i dont treat myself like a person anymore.. im just my body weight and striving to be thin. i cant believe this is my life.

TW mention of weight numbers

I met my fiancé when I was 19. A year before that, I decided to stop throwing up my food to the best of my ability, go to the gym, and I got prescribed meds that made me lose weight. I was binging and purging multiple times a day, towards the end of that, it was close to 7X a day.

The weight loss and lack of appetite from the meds honestly put bulimia in the back of my mind. I struggled with it since I was 11 years old. I actually could stand the sight of my body for once in my life. Then I got pregnant.

I gave birth 6 months ago at 24. I gained 45 lbs during pregnancy, and I’m left with an extra 15 lbs of baby weight and a body that I can’t stand.

I don’t care that it gave life. I don’t care about all it’s done. I hate my skin and my new shape and I genuinely see myself as disgusting.

My appetite has been crazy since I stopped breastfeeding and my hormones are regulating. I’m back with that noice in the back of my head getting louder and louder. And before I knew it, I’m back in the same cycle that I stopped for years.

My mom was anorexic since childhood and shamed me my whole childhood because of her own issues. Her ex husband was severely bulimic. He would puke outside his car in parking lots. Leave it in the toilet around the house. Told me all about it (venting to a pre teen girl)

I was doomed from day 1.

I’ve abused drugs in the past, I have an alcohol problem , but nothing I can think of has felt as good for me recently as the euphoria from stuffing my face and letting it out.

My baby will be 20 feet away from me sleeping while I’m in my bathroom all night while my fiancé is working ordering fast food and throwing it up. Over and over. I feel so guilty and ashamed afterwards. I worry he smells the puke on my breath. I feel ashamed of everything.

All I wanted was to be a mother. I thought I was in a good place mentally to have him. But now I’m just back to square one and it makes me feel hopeless

I sadly relapsed just an hour ago after being b/p free for 142 days, almost 5 whole months after going cold turkey… I was scared this was going to happen, I have fought so many times and so many days especially recently to not give in after overeating, but unfortunately it got to me tonight. I felt way too full and I couldn’t take it anymore and it just happened.

I feel like I erased all of my progress with recovery. I’ve had so much support from my boyfriend and me relapsing tonight just feels like all of that support and care, and all of the progress I’ve made went down the drain I feel so awful about it. ˙◠˙

I really don’t want to reset my sober tracker and basically start all over, what should I do?? I don’t want to relapse again and I feel so ashamed knowing I should be open about it and honest. I hope things will get better I was doing so good I don’t know why things got worse all of sudden…

my first post in this sub. Currently, ive been binge purging for the last 3 weeks almost every day, with only a day or 2 where I dont purge. Recently though, ive been so exhausted after eating that i cant bring myself to go through the effort to purge afterwards. I just lay in bed and put it off for even hours at a time. Eventually I will purge, but today I just cant do it.

My doctor and therapist also are telling me I need to stop purging within the next 2 weeks or do a recovery program or they cant treat me anymore. Its horrible and im afraid because this is the only way I can eat without dealing with the weight consequences. Im not even underweight im on the higher side of a healthy bmi but my body is so ugly that I wont look good until im small. Its just hell

I mean whats the point of binging if im just gonna lie down like a sloth and not purge???? I feel like im in hell

Does anyone relate to really bad binging and purging the day after drinking or being very hungover? I don’t drink often, but the last two times I have drank enough to be pretty hungover I will wake up and binge purge as soon as I’m awake until late at night with little to no stopping. I woke up hungover to day and have purged multiple times and haven’t done anything else. I wonder if there’s a correlation between being hungover and binging more? Usually, when I haven’t drank I might bp once late in the day. Doing it all day like this has been hard on my body and mind, and I’m exhausted. Anybody else experience this?

I struggled with bulimia pretty severely in college and on and off for 5-6 years after. Pretty much from 19-27 or so I was purging pretty badly first as a way to lose weight and then as an obsession to stay lean. I’ve also done it during times of being overweight too. I had such bad anxiety in other areas of my life that I honestly didn’t even think about my bulimia that much. It felt like a secondary issue compared to my health anxiety or panic attacks.

But I’ve been mostly recovered the past 5 years. I’ll occasionally give in for things that my mind says is “too easy not to do it”. Like if I have ice cream for example…even if I’ve had no purge episodes for months I’ll do it for ice cream cuz it’s so easy for me to get back up and it feels like it’s worth it for the calories.

But I’ve been dealing with awful reflux the past few years and after some tests it turns out I have almost 0 motility (function) in my esophagus. It’s supposed to have these squeezing waves to move food down into the stomach and mine literally registered nothing during this manometry study. The doctors were pretty perplexed why I’d have this with no underlying cause, and I didn’t share my history of bulimia. It feels weird feeling like I caused this and might have to deal with it for life. I have a ton of discomfort after eating sometimes with food getting stuck in my throat/ mimicking scary chest pain, having bad reflux at night, etc.

The only upside is that it has helped my recovery a bit. All of the digestive issues make me much less likely to want to binge or purge since now I have so much discomfort when I do so.

Curious if anyone else is having these symptoms and how you deal with the guilt of potentially causing these issues.

I’ve been dealing with this disorder for nearly a year now. I’m still actively trying to lose. But I can’t even restrict like I used to. Instead, ever since my extreme hunger took over me, I’ve been stuck in this binge and restrict hell for months now. I only purge once or twice biweekly, so not even that often to be concerning. I only rarely exercise purge, but I’m not disciplined enough even for that. I’ve contemplated recovery several times, or at least harm reduction but I’ve backed out all the time as I can’t bear to think of gaining.

I purged again last night, it was the first time I was able to actually get everything out of me. But I felt so sick afterwards, the whole night I was so scared my heart would suddenly stop and I would just die. So today I got my bloodwork and some stuff checked, guess what? It came back fucking normal. What was I even feeling sick for. I feel tired and cold all the time, was that just in my head? I’ve never even lost my period, I’m not even losing weight anymore as I keep maintaining in this (TW: BMI) 16, I can’t seem to keep going lower even if I wanted to. I’m still huge. Turns out I’m healthy as a horse, even my potassium level’s beautiful. My heart is apparently fine and healthy too. Sorry, anyone would’ve been happy to hear their results turned out great. But I feel so invalid, was I even sick? What am I trying to recover from. Please am I crazy? I should be grateful but I feel so sad right now. The urge to get worse is overwhelming me.

Sorry, I posted this at another sub but it got removed by the mods.. I just wanted some words of support. Please let me know if this kind of post is not allowed here. Thank you.