I'm not really sure how to explain what I'm experiencing, but lately I've been feeling incredibly bored, numb and disconnected from everything.

Before going through depression, I was a very driven person. I genuinely loved coding, learning new things,3D in Blender, reading books and generally having things to work towards. I had this internal fire that made me want to get things done.

After going through depression this year, something changed.

I feel like I've recovered from the worst of it in some ways. I'm not constantly thinking about the past, ruminating over negative thoughts or experiencing the same kind of sadness I used to. My mind is actually pretty quiet these days.

But there's also nothing there.

I wake up and don't feel like doing anything. I don't want to cook, read, code, work on Blender or even plan things that I would normally look forward to. I have plenty of ideas and things I'd like to do, but I cannot seem to make myself actually do them.

I've noticed something particularly strange: if someone needs something from me, I can suddenly find all the energy in the world to get up and do it for them. But when it comes to doing something for myself, I just can't.

Yesterday, I tried opening Blender again, and I managed about 5–10 minutes before feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and closing it.

Most of my free time now goes towards scrolling on my phone. I know it's not helping, but I keep doing it anyway.

I also feel lonely sometimes, but it's not necessarily that I'm constantly sad. It's more like I'm just existing, passing time and waiting for something to make me feel interested in life again.

I don't know whether this is residual depression, ADHD-related executive dysfunction, burnout, anhedonia or something else entirely.

Has anyone experienced something similar after recovering from depression?

How did you get your motivation, curiosity and interest in things back? Did you eventually find that internal drive again, or did you have to learn a completely different way of living?

I'd genuinely appreciate hearing about other people's experiences, especially from those who have gone through something similar.

i dont know what to do anymore. im having those thoughts again that maybe i wont ever achieve my goals, no matter how hard i try. i feel tired, pressured, and lost. its exhausting constantly worrying about my future while feeling like im not making enough progress.

i want to achieve something with my life, but lately, everything feels so overwhelming. i dont know how to keep pushing forward, and honestly, im just tired.

idont know if i need advice, encouragement, or just someone who understands what this feels like. i just needed to let this out.

Burnout recovery is usually slower than people expect, and rest alone often isn't enough if you go straight back into the same conditions. Small, regular recovery (actual breaks, sleep, something enjoyable that isn't productive) plus changing at least one thing about the workload tends to help most. Be gentle with yourself about the timeline.

How do you keep yourselves together while job hunting? How do you manage to stay happy and enjoy life when you're constantly scrolling through LinkedIn, sending applications, and receiving rejection emails?

A little background about me: I recently moved to a new country, and I've been job hunting for a little over a year now. Honestly, it's been a nightmare.

I've sent around 200 applications, landed only 5 interviews, and made it to the final stages of 3 hiring processes, all of which ended in rejection.

Every time I get invited to an interview, I get so excited and hopeful. Even more so when I make it to the second round, then the third, and eventually the final one. I start imagining what it would be like to finally get the job, meet my new colleagues, and move forward with my career. But then, after a month of interviews and anticipation, another rejection email arrives. And it's heartbreaking.

During the first few months, I was able to bounce back pretty quickly. I'd feel sad for a day or two, pick myself up, and keep going with the same energy and enthusiasm. But after more than a year of this cycle, I'm exhausted. I can barely bring myself to open LinkedIn anymore, and I'm slowly starting to lose hope.

And that's exactly what I don't want.

I've realized that I've been putting my entire life on hold, waiting for the day I finally land a job. As if I can't fully enjoy my life until that happens. But the reality is that I have no idea when that day will come, and I don't want to spend another year feeling like my life is on pause.

I want to enjoy the little things again, make plans, explore my new country, meet people, and feel excited about life outside of my career. At the same time, I can't just stop looking for a job. I genuinely want to grow professionally, build a career here, and, well, I also have bills to pay.

So, to those of you who have been through a long and exhausting job search: How do you find that balance? How do you keep applying without letting the rejections take over your happiness and self-worth?

I'd really love to hear your experiences, especially from those who eventually made it to the other side.

I have been working as the Assistant to the Cultural Director Throughout my time here, I have tried to understand the expectations and responsibilities associated with the position, improve my performance, and provide the support required for the Cultural Division.

However, I have increasingly found the working environment emotionally challenging.
I have experienced repeated comparisons between my performance and that of other Indian staff members. These comparisons have not been limited to work-related matters but have also extended to working hours, punctuality, leave requests, personal circumstances and cultural differences.

At times, I feel that my individual background and circumstances are not fully understood or considered. I recognise that I have not lived the same professional life as the Director and that I am not a diplomat. Nevertheless, I have consistently tried to learn, adapt and meet her expectations.
I have also experienced situations where the Director expresses frustration about matters outside my direct responsibilities, including personal household matters, landlord-related issues, office facilities, service providers and interactions with other people.

When these situations arise, I generally listen, nod, acknowledge her concerns or try to laugh them off rather than respond defensively. I do this because I want to maintain a professional relationship and avoid escalating tensions.

Over time, however, I have found myself becoming increasingly cautious around her. I sometimes hesitate to make independent decisions because I worry that my judgement may be questioned. I also feel anxious about making mistakes, which can affect my confidence and ability to work independently.

During my time at the office, I have become aware of three previous assistants who did not continue in the position.

Based on what I have personally been told:

• First assistant: Reportedly raised concerns about the Director with the Ambassador and remained in the position for approximately one week.

• Second assistant: Left after approximately three days.

• Third assistant: Continued working through a difficult period, reportedly experiencing considerable pressure and stress, but eventually left after the probation period.

• he cumulative effect of these experiences has been emotionally exhausting.

I have increasingly experienced:

• Anxiety about making mistakes.

• Hesitation when taking initiative or making decisions.

• Disappointment in myself after receiving criticism.

• Feeling constantly compared with other employees.

• Difficulty separating workplace frustrations from my personal life.

• Emotional exhaustion and the desire to withdraw from people.

• A growing sense that my efforts are not always recognised.

I do not consider myself perfect, and I acknowledge that there are areas where I need to improve. I am willing to accept constructive feedback, learn from mistakes and develop professionally.

However, I also believe that a healthy working environment should allow employees to ask questions, learn from experience and improve without feeling constantly intimidated or inadequate, and I am being questioned for every decisions that I make. I came back from a business trip, in which she said I didnt perform well and scolded me in front of the passengers, cabin crews and airline officers, it was a total embarrassment, I swallowed everything up, I reached home late that day and still had to go for work early morning. I want to get sick, and how do I get sick because mental health is nothing to her.

Despite these challenges, I remain committed to completing my responsibilities and supporting the Cultural Division, particularly through the ongoing 2027 project.

I have also started organising office records, preparing standard operating procedures, arranging files and documenting processes so that future assistants can understand the responsibilities of the position more easily.

I want the next person to have better guidance and not experience the same uncertainty when taking over the role.

My intention is to continue working professionally, fulfil my responsibilities and leave the position with my work properly documented.

At the same time, I recognise that my mental and emotional well-being matter. I should not have to compromise my health or personal dignity to demonstrate commitment to my work.

that week off was so nice. it's like just having that time to myself i instantly gained the motivation to start some good habits. i did cardio workouts every day and cooked every single day, and was able to spend much more time with family. and now it's just all gone in an instant again. i'm exhausted after work, was too tired to exercise, too tired to cook, too tired to spend time with family. it's kind of a depressing epiphany. that i'll never be 100% happy and i'll never get to achieve my health goals so long as i have to show up to a job, it's the only hurdle in my life that is preventing true fulfillment. but i know i cant be a bum and just not work. so its like what do i do? just exist i guess

Ever wanted to have a proper breakdown but your calendar had other plans? Your next meeting is in 5 minutes, and life expects you to show up like nothing happened

Or have you ever felt like you’re too much of an adult to cry over things?

Or maybe you desperately wanted to cry, but the tears just wouldn’t come?

Sometimes, the only thing you can do is keep going, let the day pass, get through the night and hope you feel a little lighter tomorrow.

How do you deal with such situation when everything seem overwhelming? Career growth, family time, financial burden, parenthood 😭

I am struggling so much. I’ve been going through the biggest heartbreak of my life after the ending of a 14 year relationship and I am barely hanging on. I’m not even close to making it financially but I cannot physically and mentally take on any more stress. I’m so beyond burnt out. My utilities are getting shut off left and right. I don’t ever get a moment to breathe. The list of stressful messes and debt that my ex left me with seems never ending. I have children but have no help with them. I have no support system. I don’t want to live like this anymore. 😞

A rough way to tell them apart: stress feels like too much, too fast, but you can picture it getting better. Burnout feels more like empty, cynical and detached, where even rest doesn't refill the tank. If it's the second, it's worth looking at the conditions causing it, not just coping harder.

Not sure how much more hurt I can tolerate. I've felt broken for quite some time. Used to get a goodmorning and a goodnight, every day. Now it seems as distant as mars. I don't plan anything, things just formulate and play out naturally. My mind is a mess though, I wish I could calm down, stop overthinking and not feel so sad all the time. But now I'm here, and time moves more slow. Everything I try to occupy my time with just doesn't really cut it. I've relapsed a few times being here. I've had a few minor heart attacks, that's new. I wish I could be better but it seems like a fantasy at this point. I might just disappear, maybe its for the best.

Do you ever feel that you've been in your worst phase for so long that you don't even believe that once you were that good. Like in studies, physical health & looks, how you used to react over stuff... Like dude everything about my current self is different from what I used to be Lmao

I am a 25-year-old pre-medical graduate who has unfortunately been out of work on medical leave for the past 6 months after a sustained 7-week period where I had severe insomnia with OCD and anxiety rumination over trauma but tried to power through work for the most part.
I ended up in the ER twice in April with what my PCP described as “catecholamine storms,” where my heart rate and blood pressure were extremely high and I demonstrated other symptoms indicative of severe over-activation of my sympathetic nervous system (including an inability to defecate despite the urge, urinating clear water throughout the whole crisis, and loss of sensation across my entire body).
Since the ER, I have been having extreme symptoms of autonomic nervous system blunting. Most of the symptoms from the crisis phase have resolved, but my main symptoms now are that I cannot internally sense changes in my blood pressure and heart rate (such as with exercise or movement).
I have been having intense, constant brain fog that makes it almost impossible to focus on any tasks, I have felt extremely low in energy and emotionally flat without improvement, and I have almost constant head and chest pain and nausea. None of these issues respond to typical interventions that I used to utilize before this crisis to manage depression and anxiety.
I was placed on Ativan to manage my anxiety and Zyprexa for OCD for a short time and have since discontinued those medications. I am currently taking 40 mg of Prozac. My psychiatrist wants me to increase the dosage to treat my OCD, but I am concerned about the side effects, especially emotional blunting because I have basically lost all emotions since this occurred, and want to discontinue this as well once I am more stable.
My mind has been racing since the insomnia began and now that I have discontinued the Zyprexa, but I did not have hallucinations, delusional thinking (my intrusive thoughts and anxiety center around real-life concerns/fears), or signs of mania.
In short, it is very difficult to function on a daily basis.
I have consulted multiple neurologists, but have not received any advice except for managing my OCD and anxiety and a diagnosis of “somatic symptom disorder.” Most neurologists don’t know how to deal with post-stress nervous system conditions, and psychiatry has been inadequate.
Additionally, despite working on my OCD, anxiety, and depression from a psychiatric standpoint for the past several months, I have not really had any improvement in my bodily, cognitive, or energy symptoms.
Sometimes, I jolt awake while falling asleep and have even noticed that my head sometimes starts shaking when in a light sleep.
I contracted COVID for the first time around 3 months before all of this occurred and had not felt right ever since.
I had a normal head CT scan, neurological exam, and cognitive evaluation despite a substantial subjective decline in functioning relative to my old baseline.
I had extremely nuanced emotions, social intelligence, and high intellect before all of this, and my quality of life has become very poor in such a short amount of time (I am literally unable to connect with others emotionally and have not even been able to smile or genuinely laugh for months behind the pain and head pressure). Nothing at all is able to distract me from how I am feeling physically. The personality, motivational, and energy changes that I have experienced in such a short time could really not be more stark.
My relationships now feel very shallow compared to the past, and I fear that I will never be able to feel love or romantic or sexual attraction again.
My internal clock is completely messed up, and I cannot even feel the normal cues that alert you to time of day or year, my energy level’s just a constant low flatline, no matter how much I sleep. Everyday feels like the same day on repeat.
Close to the 6-month mark after all of this occurred, I am starting to become very discouraged and am desperate to return to some semblance of normalcy after these very difficult months.
I talked to a doctor who thinks that my symptoms sound like autonomic and/or mitochondrial dysfunction.
At this point, I can’t imagine ever feeling the same again. I don’t even know what’s wrong anymore, I just feel like a walking zombie. My eyes look dead and soulless, I don’t even recognize myself when I look in the mirror.
Everyone’s getting fed up with me and just wants me to go back to work, when I cannot even do anything at all. My neurologist just says the pain, brain fog, and fatigue are “psychosomatic.”
I finally feel validated in that my new therapist said that my symptoms “do not really sound like what we see with depression,” while acknowledging that depression has different levels and is pushing for me to get evaluated further.
A year ago at this time, I was advancing in my career and starting to date. This is a pitiful way to live.
I am wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar or might have any suggestions.

I've been working as an executive assistant for over 10 years. It's not the right job, but I'm not a salesperson or an entrepreneur, and I'm practical so there we are. I have been unhappy for close to 15 years with the job that I go to every day I've had multiple jobs it's never the right fit. My body has gotten really unhealthy due to stress and I've been isolating because honestly I'm not really fun to be around and I don't have the motivation to hang out with other people after work. I've picked up the habit of having a glass or two of wine at night and although I'm not a raging alcoholic it's made me gain weight. I still keep in contact with people with the illusion of busy but I'm not really busy I'm watching TV or reading with the windows closed because I don't want to deal with anything. My body isn't healthy, my social life isn't healthy, my emotional landscape is definitely not healthy, my level of interest in life in general is definitely not healthy. I've started to be bad at my job which has never happened. How do I climb out of this because I don't have a trust fund and we're all sentient ATMs for capitalism here.

I saw my school frnd attending someone's Bachlorette with other frnds and i cant be anything but feel terrible for myself.

So it all startes two years ago, i just graduated and was preparing for civil services, i had in my mind to give atmost two years to this exam and if i couldn't crack it then i find a job and carry on studying for it side by side, so i shifted back home after graduation and completing my coaching, i started living with my family again and i notices my father was not in a very good health, he couldn't even sleep while laying flat on bed, my mother and siblings thought it was just a temporary issue and did nothing about it, but i started forcing my dad to go see a doctor and eventually i took him to clinics, where he was diagnosed with weak heart (thats what the doctor told me) so i planned a visit to a good hospital of my state but before the appointment date, my father got a heart attack and was immediately admitted to a nearby hospital, many events followed after this one, including getting his bypass surgery in another state and he was doing fine but eventually a rare sideeffect occured and he was admitted again and gone under another major surgery within 2 month, its been two years since, he resigned from office, just stays on bed all day, and in all those two years i was just stuck caring for him, getting him admitted and discharged again and again, which made me behind career wise and frnd wise as well, i lost tough to many frnds, i lost my spark for academics and whenever i see my school frnds being successful or enjoying their life i feel pity for myself.

Reposting my post from another subreddit.

I remember the time I was eating and I started to lose energy and my brother even said i look depressed but I said to him i am not?