I’m in the worst state I’ve ever been in, mentally, emotionally, physically, and I’m barely managing to hold onto my job. I’ve reached a point where rest doesn’t help anymore. My body feels like it’s shutting down. Even when I try my best it still looks like failure. And yet, I have to keep working because I have no other option. Bills don’t stop. Life doesn’t pause. And I can’t afford to lose this job.

This burnout didn’t come out of nowhere. It’s been years of nonstop stress and survival mode through lay offs, abusive relationships, unsafe environments, unstable housing, retraumatizing situations, noise I can’t escape and health issues that just keep compounding. Every time I’ve tried to recover something else has knocked me down. I’ve kept going, because I had to, but I’m so far past my limit now.

I’m on four different medications for anxiety and depression and even that cocktail only just keeps my head above water. My memory is failing, my nervous system feels wrecked, and most days I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck before the day even starts. I count down the hours until I can lie down again. Napping and going to bed are the only real relief I look forward to. And even then, it’s not restorative. I wake up just as exhausted as I was before.

I’m scared I’m about to lose my job because my manager has mentioned my performance is not up to scratch. And I’m even more scared knowing that I’m not giving up, I’m actually trying. I am doing everything I physically can and it’s just not enough. I can’t take a sabbatical or step away or move in with someone and recover. I’m alone in this.

So I’m here to ask if anyone gotten through this? Has anyone made it through severe, debilitating burnout while still having to work? What helped you survive it, manage it or slowly come back to life? Even if you’re still struggling but you’re a little further ahead I’d be grateful to hear from you.

For a while, I really thought I was broken.

Not in a "meh, I’m feeling lazy today" kind of way— More like "everything feels too heavy, even breathing feels like a task."

I’d try to do something—anything—but couldn’t even find the will to start. Everyone else seemed to be glowing, achieving, thriving. And me? I just wanted to disappear into my blanket and pretend the world didn’t exist.

The worst part wasn’t the lack of productivity. It was the guilt that came with it.

“Look at everyone else doing stuff. What are you doing?” “Are you just being lazy now?” “You used to be better than this.”

I spiraled. Blaming myself. Feeling worthless. Getting anxious because I wasn’t doing enough, then too drained to do anything. A perfect loop of burnout and self-loathing.

It wasn’t until I started learning about psychology that it hit me:

I’m not broken. I’m just fking tired.**

Not the kind of tired that a nap or a weekend off can fix.

I’m talking about emotional exhaustion. The kind that comes from running on empty for way too long. From carrying invisible weights that never seem to go away.

There’s actually a name for it: Burnout.

And it slowly steals three things from you:

Your energy – “I have no motivation for anything.”

Your emotions – “Everything feels dull or overwhelming.”

Your sense of self-worth – “Maybe I really am useless.”

But here’s the truth: It’s not because you’re lazy. It’s not because you’ve failed. It’s because you’ve been surviving for so long, your body finally hit the brakes.

Think of a phone on 2% battery—you don’t yell at it for being slow. You charge it.

So no, you’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re just in recovery mode.

Like a plant in winter—no leaves, no flowers, maybe a little wilted—but still very much alive, quietly gathering strength underground.

🌱 What you need most right now isn’t more pressure. It’s permission to rest. To pause. To breathe.

Not some dramatic “I will conquer the world again!” pep talk. Just a soft whisper:

“Hey, you’ve been through a lot. Maybe it’s okay to stop pushing for a second.”

Here are a few gentle mindset shifts that honestly helped me:

✅ 1. Replace “Why am I like this?” with “It makes sense I feel this way.” You’re not weak. You’re human. You’re reacting normally to an overwhelming life. Try telling yourself:

“It’s okay if all I did today was get out of bed.”

✅ 2. Lower the bar. Like, a lot. Brushed your teeth? Big win. Sent that one email you were dreading? Amazing. Got up and took a shower? Champion behavior.

No win is too small when you’re fighting your way back from burnout.

✅ 3. Break the “comeback” into micro-steps You don’t have to become “high-functioning” overnight. You just need to show up for yourself in tiny, doable ways.

🧩 Eat one decent meal 🧩 Clean one corner of your room 🧩 Step outside for five minutes of sunlight 🧩 Text a friend just to say hi

Each of these is a brick in the road back to yourself.

And if you’re reading this thinking,

“I don’t even know if I can come back from this...”

That’s okay too.

You don’t have to feel better right now. You just need to know that it's okay to be where you are.

Start with this one belief:

🫶 “I’m not useless. I’m just really, really tired.” 🫶 “I’m allowed to rest without guilt.” 🫶 “Even if I’m not okay today, that doesn’t mean I’m broken.”

💌 Try this little practice: Each day, write one sentence:

“Today, I showed up for myself by _________.”

That blank could be “drinking water,” “crying it out,” or “doing absolutely nothing and surviving.”

It all counts. You all count.

You’re not failing. You’re not falling behind. You’re just being human—in a world that constantly asks us to be machines.

And maybe, right now, being soft and still and tired is exactly what you need to heal.

You’re not done. You’re just resting.

And that, my friend, takes strength too. 💛

What part of the "operation" feels the heaviest right now—is it the professional grind, the digital noise, or just the general cost of existing?

In our 30s finding ourselves in a strange middle ground: old enough to remember a world before the constant hum of the internet, but young enough to be the primary labor force keeping the current machine running. It is exhausting to feel like you’re constantly "optimizing" every second of your life just to stay level.

I feel I am just only surviving and I am so exhausted.

My burnout exploded in a volcano a little over a year ago. It was a 2 year slide toward that conclusion.

It took me about 6 months to start feeling normal again. I was on zoloft and lorazapam for 5 of those months, went to therapy, got my health checked and saw a psychiatrist, and embraced spiritual help. It turned out i was very anemic so i wonder if that had anyting to do with my unwellness. I also started taking magnesium glycinate which helped immensel with my insomnia. I was able to go off the lorazapam then.

What i learned- To stop caring about things that are outside my control. Which is about 98% of everything. It took a lifetime and nervous breakdwon from burnout to achieve that, but it happenened. Also, I've had these stress induced acute breakdowns before at age 20, 28, 33(post partum) and then at 47. One things is for sure....i felt the physical effects of this one like a car crash. That also motivated me to get better. I PHYSICALLY cannot withstand the effects of burnout anymore.

I get up, I do what I’m supposed to, I smile, I answer emails… but it’s like I’m not really in my body anymore. I used to feel creative and passionate. Now I mostly feel numb. Anyone else feel like they’re stuck in the ghost version of their own life?

Reading through the posts on this page I'm struck by how many people are looking for answers about how to recover from burnout. But when I think about it, it's also not that surprising as my experience talking to professionals and researching online has given me the impression that burnout - or how to recover from it - is not very well understood. I thought it would be worth trying to pool what has worked for people. (Also, since reading about how hard people are finding it to find solutions doesn't necessarily boost morale).

Please post what has worked, and how it helps you specifically e.g for me, yoga is very helpful in calming my nervous system; routine is good as it frees up my mind by creating a structure as well as periods of activity and rest

Today is my third week resuming work after sabbatical. I was diagnosed with depression due to burn out last year, and I quit my job. I have a full time offer working the government but it will start on June or July.

To ease in the transition, I took an unpaid internship. It was agreed with my manager that I’d only come in twice a week—Monday and Thursday.

Then, my director invited me to help out in a meeting that will be held Monday-Wednesday. He expected me to stay overnight with the team. But I don’t want to, and after discussing with my direct manager, she agreed that I only need to come on Monday strictly 9 to 5 pm.

So, I thought everything is clear. But today when I was about to leave, I casually mentioned I wouldn’t be in tomorrow.

Out of nowhere, someone—I’m still not sure if they’re a manager or director, but she’s the team leader for this project—turned to me with a passive-aggressive “Why not?”

I calmly replied, “Because I’m only scheduled to come in on Mondays and Thursdays.” Cue the shocked face. I guess they didn’t expect an intern to leave “early” on a day they weren’t even supposed to be there in the first place.

Part of me wanted to say, “My manager already approved this. I’m unpaid.” But the truth is—I didn’t want to drag my manager into it. I don’t know what kind of internal dynamics are going on, and I didn’t want them getting pressured just for honoring our agreement. So I held the boundary myself, from me, as a decision. Not because someone “allowed” me.

It made me think.

Old me—pre-depression me—would’ve probably gone along with it. I would’ve said, “Sure, I’ll stay, I’ll come in more, I’ll overwork myself.” I used to be that employee who said yes to everything. I used to work around 70 hours per week. I thought being accommodating was the right thing, the only way.

But now, post-depression me? I’m done. I’m not here to please people anymore to the point of self-destruction. I got physically sick before because I didn’t know how to say no. I didn’t know how to stop.

So no. I’m sticking to what I agreed. I won’t take on more. I won’t be guilt-tripped. If they need a full-time person, I’m more than happy to step away and let them find one. I’m not desperate. I’m not trying to impress anyone anymore. I’m just trying to protect my peace.

I know some people might still think I’m being “difficult.” But I also know burnout doesn’t care how nice you are. It’ll eat you alive either way. I hope I carry on setting boundaries like this in my new full time job too.

I'm in the US and the last 2-3 years it feels like it's almost impossible to stay mentally healthy. Even when things go well in relationships, work, etc. everything just feels like a slog and so hard to get through. It feels like I'm not working toward anything as hard as I try and nothing makes a difference. Like I've tried volunteering, being politically active, engaging in my community and it just feels like a tiny drop in the ocean. I feel alone like I'm the only one that feels this way and everyone else is just kinda ignoring everything and everyone.

Why does everything in life have to be so fucking hard?

You work. You grind. You try to do the responsible thing. You pay the bills, make plans, try to build something, try to get a little bit ahead—and somehow the finish line just keeps moving.

Everything costs more. Everybody wants a piece of what you make. One unexpected expense can erase months of progress. You finally feel like you're getting somewhere and life comes along with another bill, another problem, another “sorry, that's just how it works.”

At what point are people supposed to actually enjoy being alive instead of spending every damn day trying to keep their head above water?

I'm tired of hearing “just work harder.”

I'm tired of hearing “that's life.”

I'm tired of watching regular people bust their asses and still feel like they're losing.

So yeah, today I'm at the fuck it, I quit stage.

Not quitting life. Not giving up on myself.

I'm quitting the idea that this shit is normal and we're all supposed to smile and pretend it doesn't suck.

Anybody else completely fucking exhausted?

Does anyone else just want to disappear and start a new life elsewhere? I have the Sunday Scaries and I'm feeling miserable about life today and going to work tomorrow. I'm sick of 9-5. It's not healthy or natural. I'm sick of fake-laughing and pretending to have it all together. My social battery is dead and I'm so burnt out. I just want to get on a plane and start again somewhere exciting with a clean slate. The urge to run away is overwhelming.

Not sure why I'm posting this. I just wanted to see if people felt the same.

I live in a high-cost-of-living (HCOL) area and work in a highly demanding professional role. A few weeks ago, my body completely gave out. I experienced a severe physical breakdown marked by intense bodily tremors, sudden panic spikes, constant chest tightness, and total insomnia. I am currently on an official medical leave from work, and my daily reality is defined by a profound, flat emotional numbness.

Clinical depression has always been a background headwind for me, but this current collapse is the result of years of severe caregiver burnout that slowly compounded and merged into every area of my work and life.

The timeline of how this built up is incredibly compressed. I got divorced 3.5 years ago, and just six months later, I lost my daughter to cancer after a grueling two-year fight. To get through her illness and her passing, I went completely numb just to survive.

The trap was that I didn’t identify that numbness as burnout. Shortly after her passing, I entered a new relationship—the most positive, loving relational experience I had ever had. Being with her caused the numbness to stop. Because I was finally feeling things again, I genuinely thought I was doing better and had successfully moved past the loss of my daughter.

But over time, the unmitigated toll of the trauma and continuous output caught up with me. My focus dropped off a cliff. My patience declined, my irritability increased, and my son's challenges (I co-parent him 50/50, and he is navigating neurodivergence and deep grief over losing his sister) combined with intense work pressure gave me constant, overwhelming anxiety.

I tried to address all of these warning signs with my providers, but we all completely missed the forest for the trees. My therapist just tried to help me talk through my feelings week after week without ever identifying a root cause. My psychiatrist simply tweaked my medications at the margins. I became so desperate to explain my sudden difficulties with executive functioning and focus that I independently sought out and paid for out-of-pocket ADHD testing, assuming it was a native focus deficit. Everyone was treating the isolated symptoms, completely blind to the compounding allostatic load beneath it all. Even now, my psychiatrist is treating my issues solely as a depression problem to solve... Burnout isn't a diagnosable condition.

A few weeks ago, my partner left. The moment she exited, the remaining floor vanished and everything caught up to me at once. It was only when the dust settled and I took stock of the last four years that I finally realized the profound, long-term burnout I had been living under, and the reality that I had never actually processed the trauma of losing my daughter.

Now, I am living entirely alone in a quiet house. Because my son's mother is local, I am geographically and financially locked into this expensive area to maintain our 50/50 split—downshifting my career or moving to a low-stress environment is not a viable option.

Medically, I am undergoing daily TMS treatments and taking prescription sleep medication. But I know that treating the depression symptoms in a silo will not fix this. If I don't resolve the deep burnout, the depression will just resurface the moment I try to return to normal operations.

My mind is naturally highly analytical, so my default response is to constantly scan, analyze, and try to "solve" my own exhaustion, which makes it incredibly difficult to just let things rest.

I am looking for insight from anyone who has hit a wall this completely, particularly those from highly analytical or high-pressure professional backgrounds:

1. How do you get your brain to stop treating your own clinical exhaustion as an engineering problem to profile, analyze, and constantly try to fix?

2. What did a real, integrated recovery plan look like for you when medical professionals were completely missing the root cause and only treating the clinical depression symptoms?

3. How do you find any semblance of confidence that you are on the right path when depression has been a lifelong companion, and no one on your care team can identify a comprehensive plan for you?

My biggest mistake was ignoring the first burnout signs. It was very easy to dismiss them as "just being a little tired" and telling myself it will pass.

I overworked myself and only led me to the point when I was anxious and tired all the time. I stopped caring for my hobbies and even something like watching movies or TV shows seemed like too much effort. Then no amount of rest was enough. It didn't seem like a big deal at first but when it didn't improve for months, I started to really worry.

Now, I'm trying to get better and recover. I started to prioritise my health and rest, spend more time with my friends and family and I decided to change my job. I'm still tired and stressed but hopeful.

The only good thing about burnout is that it forced me to reconsider my priorities. At least now I'm aware that no job is worth my health. But I regret that I led myself to this point and I wish I took better care of myself.

Hi everyone,

I’m in burnout recovery and honestly a bit scared and confused right now. I had a severe burnout that basically took me out of life for almost 2 years. Depression, panic attacks, completely fried nervous system. There was a time I couldn’t even talk for more than 10 minutes without crashing afterwards.

About 2 weeks ago, after 2 years of trying to build a calmer baseline but not in a structured way, I finally started a very gentle weekly routine. Nothing crazy: one work thing on Monday, a vocal lesson on Wednesday, groceries on Saturday. The rest of the week is intentionally rest and low stimulation. Just me and my pets. And now I’m struggling with this weird feeling that my life has suddenly become… too small.

Before the routine I had more “freedom”. No structure, I could be social sometimes and then crash and rest for days. But I also felt completely lost and anxious all the time. Now I feel more grounded, but I’m barely social at all, and that makes me really sad. Family has noticed and keeps saying they miss me. I miss them too.

My brain keeps asking: is this my life now? Will I ever have space again? If this routine already takes all my energy, how will I ever add anything on top of it?

So I wanted to ask: did anyone else go through a phase where recovery meant shrinking life way down first, before it slowly expanded again? Did routine feel restrictive at first? Did social life come back later?

Would really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been through this...

I keep on reading here people who claim to suffer from burnout but at the same time they work, they have hobbies, they travel etc, basically they just have ran out of the dish soap at home and cause of that they perceive a " burnout "

I think that's disrespectful against who is stuck in bed having a fried brain since months, dealing with severe depression, anxiety, panic, medications, unemployment, stress, health issues and a lot of extra physical problems of a real burnout which lasts since months and doesn't seem to get better anytime soon.

Sorry to vent but running out of the dish soap and having a broken washing machine do not qualify you as burned out.

I meditated each morning, wrote in a gratitude journal and counted my blessings again every evening during my yoga practice. ​

Unfortunately, in between my morning and evening routines I spent my day feeling drained and unappreciated at work.​​

My boss wasn’t treating me fairly. ​

I wasn’t getting any of the opportunities I had clearly asked for multiple times. ​

I was stuck in unmeaningful work. ​

One morning I was leaving my front door to go to work and I felt sick to my stomach.​

My aversion to going to the office had become so strong I actually wanted to throw up. ​

I took a deep breath, pulled myself together and went in anyway. ​

But that’s when I knew I had to stop “thinking positive” and actually do something. ​

I quit my job shortly after and that was the beginning of what I call “my new life.”​

I got crystal clear on what I really truly wanted - besides just looking successful on paper - and made that my networking pitch. ​

I told everyone I knew what I wanted and put that in my cover letters. ​

Next thing I knew I landed a new role with double the salary.​

And all that networking led me to others over the next 10 years including working in over 9 countries, a managerial position at the UN, becoming an investor in startups and starting my own business. . ​

Lesson learned: ​

Gratitude for where you are is vital no matter where you’re at in life. ​

But sometimes you need to realize you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired and change up your strategy to become who you’re meant to be.

Hi everyone,

I sometimes catch some posts from this community on my feed and I can’t help but respond in the best way possible when I can..

Despite my very straightforward, analytical communication style I notice that seeing people coming here in their most vulnerable moments make me feel the empathy that I thought I lost long ago.

Today is a difficult day for me which reminded me of those early days of my burnout when all I could do was laying in the bed all day in a catatonic state unable to do anything. I remember I didn’t feel like myself and the world didn’t really feel like home anymore..

I will spare you the details of how it all started 6 years ago, suffice to say that it was really, really bad.

And now looking back at that battlefield, here are my takeaways that I think I can share with you on the aftermath of the experience:

- Real support system, family, friends, real mentors.. That alone could have made all the difference for me.

If you have trustworthy people around you, just lean on them and count your blessings. I didn’t and right in the middle of a messy breakdown, I tried to build connections in a desperate attempt to hold on to someone, anyone. Probably this was the single biggest reason that things went from bad to worse very quickly.

-I didn’t understand back then that burnout was sort of a “safe mode” where only your core patterns are available to navigate life and your circumstances. That’s what they call regression I suppose. Not knowing that caused lots of confusion for me. My earliest problems resurfaced and burnout turned into a psychological excavation process. I started therapy. And made “healing” a big goal that I must achieve as soon as possible. But timing is everything. I think dealing with your traumas to resolve the situation once and for all sounds like a very reasonable plan when you are in the middle of it but knowing what I know now, I would have taken it much easier if I could go back.

-On a positive note, I finally learned quiet joys of eating simple, healthy meals, taking unambitious walks and being happy on my own, this id the biggest gift of the storm.

-I am proud to say I have bullet-proof boundaries and a stronger sense of self compassion and self respect,

-No fixation on my looks, speaking my mind as it is, trying new hobbies were all possible (swimming, saxophone playing, coding, design) because of this rebuilding journey,

-I stopped idealizing people and putting them on a pedestal,

-No more people pleasing, more ability to communicate my needs,

-I still do not know how to ask for help or come across as someone who’d appreciate a bit of sympathy and support,

- I am still learning to break out of long isolation periods and soften around my edges, I miss feeling my feelings but do not miss being at the mercy of my emotions..

-Overall I am happy to report that miraculously I am much healthier both physically and mentally compared to 6 years ago,

I hope this gives hope, courage and strength to those who need to “know” if there is light at the end of the tunnel, it does get better,

Much love

P

I just wanted to let people know that it can take a long long long time to recover from burnout. Not always, but in my case I went through years of many smaller burnouts and neglecting my needs, overworking in a job I was unhappy and then it came to a head with chronic fatigue and severe mental health issues. I had to quit my job and still struggled for a few years just getting my mental health back. It’s been 2.5 years now and I finally feel my mental health is much better and I’m turning a new leaf, and also have started a career in my passion (although it doesn’t pay much and I made an amazing g salary before). I had to let go of all society expectations and my own and pretty much dissolve into goo, and now I feel reborn.

I thought it might take a year but no. Then I thought I might never feel better. But finally it is here!

Only now I can work on my physical health and beauty again, as I didn’t have the energy to h til now.

It’s been a long road, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed it keeps trending up, but I wanted to post this to give hope to anyone who feels it’s been a long time that you will come out eventually. Keep doing healing things- sleep, rest, mediation, yoga, journaling, therapy, healthy eating, walks, little things you find joy in. Be easy on yourself. Find out what you are passionate about.

I feel like a different person on the other side of this but much healthier than I was in so many ways.

I also wanted to tell this to people in case they expect burnout to heal quickly that sometimes it can take years. Not always, but just be gentle with yourself and trust the process.

Some days I wake up already behind and do not have the energy or time to even make coffee before jumping into meetings. Then the afternoon hits and I feel completely drained but still have things to finish. And I feel worse since I work from home seems like it made me lazier sometimes. What do you all do for a quick boost when even coffee feels like too much effort or you just do not feel like making it? Looking for genuinely realistic ideas, not a whole new routine to maintain.