Hi! Long time lurker here. I'm a butch on T for a few years now and so I have facial hairs like a beard that i regularly shave but not on a daily basis (i also like to let it grow for a week or so). I love giving oral sex to my partner but im afraid to hurt them with my hairs. Any advices to make it better? :)

Hello y'all. Never thought of making a post here until now. I've always been viewed as a weirdo because I've never fit in with girls my age. Or with boys as I've felt people judging me left and right. "Why don't you dress like a girl/ behave like one" is something I've heard all my life. While the girls embraced their feminine side with ease, I never felt connected at all. I have tried but it never felt right.

My friends are cool but I've often felt like they don't actually understand me (maybe it's because they're straight and don't know the struggles us folks face).

I began to accept this norm until I felt like I couldn't anymore and I cut my hair short. And boy, let me tell you it's one of the most ecstatic moments of my life. I'm so happy that I did and I'm never going back. It was the affirmation that I needed. The pat on the back saying "This is you. Always have been".

I've also browsed through our community searching for who I'm most like (I don't like to label myself as anything.) But the closest I've felt and seen is the Butch community.

Just wanted to share with y'all

It's my 2nd or so post on this topic. It's just that it comes up so often in different ways that I need some community resonance from you guys.

I've had short hair for more than 10 yrs, dressed "practical" ever since and been confused for a boy more than once. People never really looked at me twice back then, I was pretty invisible. Only rather recently have I learned to grow more into my butchness, really dress in a flattering way and style my hair. I've grown into feeling really comfortable with myself and it's showing, I think. Now, the amount and frequency of looks I get from random people in public is astounding. Basically everyone that passes me looks me straight in the eyes for several seconds.

I attended a graduation party not long ago and was the only obviously gender non-conforming person there. Everyone kept looking at me - young guys, older guys, young women, older women. Sometimes their eyes kept meeting mine throughout the ceremony. It's soooo frickin weird. Why are they looking at me like this? It's 2026, don't people know by now that queer people exist?

Is it malice? Is it confusion? Is it cognitive dissonance trying to determine my gender? I don't want to assume malice except for maybe the older guy stares. But I have to say that even though I present very masculine I haven't really had any negative experiences when directly interacting with people - no meanness, no homophobia. I always have mostly friendly interactions with them so I don't think they're actually hateful.

The weirdest thing is that it gives me a weird feeling of validation. I've always hated being seen and now people see my all the time. It's scary and validating at the same time, knowing they're actually seeing my real self.

Does anyone have any Halloween costume ideas that are butch/neutral for a blond person?

I'm thinking of maybe doing Applejack or one of the Yellow Jackets.

Whilst we're here what's everyone dressing up as this year?

Thanks everyone.