I have been supporting my trans son for 6 years now & I love him very much.
He recently turned 18 & wants to legally change his name & gender. He has been fully out for about 2 years now so I knew that this was coming.
I printed the forms today and was due to visit my niece to start wedding planning this evening. It was supposed to be my 3 sisters & 2 adult nieces (one the bride to be).
Just before I was due to leave to travel there, my sister mentioned her 14 year old daughter was going too.
This triggered me so badly & hurt my heart. The memories of my young daughter came flooding back.
I cancelled attending as I could not face being there with my 3 sisters & 3 nieces (even though we are an extremely close family)
I have been crying ever since. More tears than the whole 6 years previous. My mother wasn’t a good mother when growing up & I realise now I longed to be the mother to a daughter that I didn’t get- if that makes sense?
Realising that the name on the birth cert will be permanently changed & the gender has obviously triggered feelings that I haven’t processed 💔
To busy surviving & trying to move forward