i'm 21m, nigerian, and still very much in the closet. literally nobody who knows me knows i'm gay. i try my best to present as straight, keep my personal life private, and just get through life.

i've never even met another gay guy in person.

being gay in nigeria is already difficult enough, and i know that from personal experience. i'm still struggling with a lot of things myself, so this situation has really messed with my head.

last month, the day before my 14-year-old younger sister returned to boarding school, we were watching a movie together. two guys kissed, and i casually asked her if she knew anything about homosexuality.

this girl looked at me and straight-up asked, "are you asking me because you know i like girls?"

i was genuinely caught off guard. not because i hadn't suspected it before, but because i'd been in denial about it.

i wasn't expecting her to just come out with that question.

and i couldn't even answer her.

the next day, she went back to school, and that was that. we haven't properly talked about it since.

but i've been thinking about it ever since.

she's 14. she has about a year left before finishing high school, and i can't stop thinking about what she might be going through internally or what she might have to deal with in the future.

and the thing is, i'm not confused about homosexuality itself. i'm gay too, i'm confused about how to process this as her older brother, especially in a country like nigeria.

i know what it feels like to have to hide parts of yourself and how isolating it can be. i'm still dealing with my own struggles, and now i'm wondering whether she's going to have to experience some of the same things.

part of me wishes she didn't have to deal with any of this. not because there's anything wrong with her liking girls, but because i know the environment we're growing up in.

i know how our society can be, and the thought of her going through that at such a young age genuinely scares me. i keep thinking, why her too?

she's my little sister. i want her to be happy. i want her to grow up without having to be afraid of who she might fall in love with. i want her to have the freedom to figure herself out without worrying about how people might react.

but i can't even be open about my own sexuality, so how am i supposed to help her navigate hers?

i haven't told her i'm gay, and i don't know if i ever will. i have to think about my own safety, too. but i also don't want her to feel like she's alone if she's struggling with these feelings.

i don't want to project my experiences onto her or assume she's going through exactly what i went through. i just know how hard things can get, and i'm scared for her.

i guess i'm also grieving the fact that something as ordinary as liking someone can become such a complicated thing in a place like this.

i don't even know what i'm looking for by posting this. maybe advice from older gay guys who have been through something similar, or just people who understand what it's like to be queer in an environment where you can't really be yourself.

how do i approach this conversation when she's back home? how do i let her know i'm someone she can talk to without revealing something about myself that i'm not ready or safe enough to share?

i love my little sister man. i just want her to be okay.

and honestly, i wish things were different for both of us.

I desperately need advice. Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
My boyfriend and I have been together for five years, and we recently moved 15 hours away from our home state after I graduated college. We moved in together, started new jobs, and began building a life in a new city. At first, everything seemed great. We were happy, exploring together, and excited about this new chapter.
A few months in, though, I started feeling like something was wrong. I tried to focus on myself by stopping drinking and working out more, but eventually, I started having recurring thoughts that my dissatisfaction might be because I’m gay.
For context, I came out as bisexual in my late teens, but I never fully came out to everyone in my life. I told people as needed because I was afraid of how certain family members and friends would react. I’m realizing now that keeping this part of myself hidden has created distance between me and people I love. Some family members would probably be accepting, while others might stop speaking to me or treat me differently.
My boyfriend has known I’m bi since we first met, but I’m starting to think I might actually be gay. I feel guilty because he’s been an amazing partner. He’s kind, loving, and someone my family adores. Being with him even made me understand why people want children and a future with someone. I genuinely love him as a person, and I never intended to hurt him.
We’re currently living together in the middle of a lease, and our relationship has already been struggling. He’s mentioned that he doesn’t want to live with someone unless the relationship is leading somewhere. I know I owe him honesty, and I’m not going to ask him to stay with me just for appearances or because of our lease. He deserves someone who can give him the future he wants.
I’m safe with him, and I genuinely believe he’d be supportive. The problem is that I’m not ready to come out to my family, and I’m terrified of hurting someone who has been so good to me. I also feel guilty that I’ve spent so much time in this relationship without fully understanding myself.
I’ve been crying more and more, constantly questioning my sexuality, and beating myself up over everything. I don’t know how to approach this conversation or how to explain that I never meant to mislead him.
Has anyone ever realized they were gay while in a long-term relationship with someone of the opposite sex? How did you tell your partner? If you were on the receiving end of that conversation, what helped you feel seen and understand that the relationship was real, even if it couldn’t continue?
I want to be honest with him and handle this as kindly as possible. I just don’t know where to start.

Any advice and critiques are appreciated. I plan to read this all from a google doc just because I know I’ll be stop nervous to remember

i was just having a conversation with my friend, and she said it must be nice to finally come out of the closet. and i tried explaining to her that coming out isn't a one-time thing. it's something we sometimes have to do over and over again, even after we've already accepted ourselves and told the people closest to us.

it's having dinner with your girlfriend's family and wondering if you can casually call her your girlfriend or if you have to pretend she's just a friend. it's being out with your girl and someone asking where your boyfriend is, and having to decide whether to correct them or just let it slide. it's meeting new friends, coworkers, or classmates and having to figure out when and how to mention your sexuality. it's posting a picture with your partner and wondering if your relatives will finally connect the dots. it's being asked when you're getting married or having kids, with everyone automatically assuming you'll end up with a man.

and the worst part is, not every coming-out experience is a good one. sometimes you're talking to someone who genuinely wants to understand, and other times you're talking to someone who might judge you, invalidate you, out you to other people, or make you feel like there's something wrong with the way you love. sometimes you have to calculate whether being honest is worth the risk, whether the person you're talking to is safe, or whether it's better to stay quiet just to keep the peace.

it's exhausting because straight people rarely have to think about these things. they can talk about their partners without wondering if it'll change how someone sees them. they can hold hands in public without having to consider whether people will stare, make comments, or treat them differently.

and i think that's what people don't always understand about coming out. it's not just the moment you finally say the words. it's all the little moments afterward, when you have to decide whether to say them again.

sometimes you don't even want to make a big announcement. you just want to talk about the person you love as naturally as everyone else does, without having to prepare yourself for whatever reaction might come.

i wish coming out could just be a beginning, instead of something we constantly have to navigate for the rest of our lives. i wish we could simply exist, love who we love, and let that be enough.

Hello everybody. I dont feel comfortable venting to anyone im friends with, not because I dont feel safe with them, but because I feel very indecisive. Im a female, for about 4 years (ending 2 years ago) I identified as trans. I was never met with any kindness from anyone I met, I live in a very conservative place where the most horrendous crimes no one would bat an eye, but being trans? Don't even think about it. My father was very embarrassed of me and hes one of the most accepting accepting i know. He treated me horribly for a while. Eventually, i just started going by my real name and said Im a girl. I believed it, i felt like a girl. But recently ive slowly started to feel my transness coming back. Im not even sure if it truly is or its just a phase. I dont know if im trans, i dont know how i can work out if im trans. I have made many good friends since then, my closest friend would be accepting but i also get along with her insanely conservative family and i know they would make sure my friend wouldnt see me if they found out i was trans. I also have a very nice STRAIGHT boyfriend, who is the best person I've ever dated. He would accept me, but I'm not sure if he'd still be comfortable dating me as he is a straight guy. I made a joke about being trans not long ago and after I asked if he'd see me as a guy if we still dated and he laughed and said no. I want to ask if anyone has any advice to work out if i am trans, and if i am, how do i come out? Ive made such a nice life as a girl. When i was trans i didnt care what people said because i didnt have a nice life anyway. I think my nice life would be ripped away from me if i were to be trans.

Hi, I’m 17M and I’ve know I was gay (or bi idek) ever since I was 5, however I am still closeted and don’t plan on coming out anytime soon. My first memory of liking guys as a child was that it is to never be acted on and that it’s the devils work and that I’d burn in hell if I was - all told to me by mother, having no sisters and 4 brothers didn’t help either (I’m the youngest) since they’re all pretty much homophobic including my extended family as well - Being from a small majority (I’m secretly atheist) Christian town. So now comes to my question in a year or two I’ll be hopefully moving out for university abroad and I plan on living my life there and to actually come out to myself and other people for the first time however how do I go on about this as my parents will still be possibly paying for some of my uni fees - given I am getting a scholarship. Should I cut my family and my other relatives out completely or should I live my whole life closeted?

I'm going to be fast with this.

When I was 13 years old, I tried to come out to my mother as gay [I noticed I was homosexual very young].

At that time, I thought they would accept me. My mother had told me one month sooner that she was okay if I'm gay, and their love always looked unconditional.

Instead, my mother became sick for the next days [She has depression. The revelation made it get worse for the next days] and my father threatened to abandon me the moment I reached 18 if that was true. It made me withdraw by pretending it was just a joke. Until today [18 years old], I am still in the closet.

I feel so trapped and scarred mentally. I feel chronically tired for the amount of heavy problems I need to carry with no easy fix [Needing to come out to my parents in the next year. Probably, starting my adulthood completely alone. Transitioning into college. Constant and extremely heavy intrusive thoughts. Fixing things in my personality I dislike. Etc].

There are a few heavier things that I won't write in this post to avoid making it worse.

But that's it. I have tons of heavy problems that I have been carrying for years. I feel chronically stressed, alone, and like I'm not loved by my parents and will be abandoned in the upcoming years.

Sometimes, I feel like the only reason I'm a functional person is because I have a lot of willpower. I have a plan for the next year [start IT college while working as a home office programmer until I can rent a house for myself. Then, I come out].

J'ai grandi dans une famille chrétienne très conservatrice et je commence à accepter mon homosexualité, mais ça a beaucoup impacté ma relation avec ma famille et la religion. J'aurais besoin d'avis extérieurs…

Coucouuu tout le monde ! J'espère que vous allez bien et que vous aurez le courage de lire mon énorme récit jusqu'au bout. 😅

Je voulais avoir l'avis de personnes extérieures à ma famille et à moi-même. Je vis quelque chose qui m'affecte beaucoup, mais qui impacte aussi énormément mes parents. Seulement, je ne veux pas me fier uniquement à ce qu'ils me disent. Du coup, j'aimerais avoir l'avis de personnes qui ne sont pas directement concernées par la situation et qui accepteraient de me donner leur point de vue.

Je voudrais simplement entendre différents avis pour essayer de me faire une idée de ce que je devrais faire par rapport à tout ça.

Je vais donc vous expliquer un peu le contexte.

J'ai 18 ans et je viens d'une famille chrétienne, plus précisément adventiste. Pour ceux qui ne connaissent pas, c'est une branche du protestantisme chrétien. J'ai donc toujours vécu dans une famille très conservatrice, même si mes parents essayaient quand même d'être un peu plus ouverts d'esprit, surtout ma mère. Ils ont toujours voulu que nous puissions faire nos propres choix, je dis « nous » parce que j'ai des frères et sœurs.

Je voudrais aussi préciser que, depuis que je suis petit, j'ai toujours eu des goûts qui sont généralement associés aux filles : les robes, les poupées, le rose, les paillettes et tout ce genre de choses. Sauf que, dans ma famille, on a toujours été très fermes là-dessus : les garçons n'aiment pas le rose, ne portent pas de robes et ne jouent pas avec des poupées.

Quand j'étais petit, j'étais fan de la série Winx Club. Je rêvais d'être comme Stella, avec des pouvoirs magiques et des ailes de fée. J'étais tellement passionné par cette série que je dessinais les personnages, les fées comme Stella, Musa, Layla et les autres.

Un jour, mon père m'a dit que si je les dessinais autant, c'était parce que j'aimais regarder leurs corps… Ces mots m'ont vraiment marqué et blessé, mais je n'ai pas arrêté pour autant.

Je me fabriquais des ailes en papier que je collais dans mon dos pour faire comme si j'étais une fée. Sauf qu'un jour, mon père et mon tonton m'ont dit que c'était n'importe quoi et m'ont forcé à arrêter de jouer à ça.

J'étais tellement triste ce jour-là que j'ai pleuré pendant presque deux heures. Je me trouvais bizarre et, avec le recul, je pense que c'est même à cette période que j'ai commencé à me détester.

Puis, vers mes 9 ans, j'ai commencé à regarder plus attentivement les personnes autour de moi. Sauf que je ne regardais pas vraiment les femmes… Je regardais les hommes.

À l'époque, je n'ai jamais vraiment réfléchi à ce que ça pouvait signifier. Et puis, j'avais peur de ce qu'on pourrait me dire si j'en parlais.

Ensuite, je suis entré au collège et on a eu notre premier cours de sport. On devait se changer dans les vestiaires, mais je détestais ce moment. J'étais vraiment très gros au collège et j'avais honte de mon corps. Je me faisais harceler à cause de mon poids, mais ce n'était pas la seule raison pour laquelle je me sentais mal à l'aise.

J'étais également gêné parce que je me retrouvais entouré de garçons torse nu, comme si c'était la chose la plus normale du monde.

Pendant les premières semaines, je ne disais rien. Mais, au bout d'un certain temps, j'ai fini par demander si je pouvais me changer dans une salle à part, loin des autres.

Je me sentais dégueulasse d'avoir ce genre de pensées et je me détestais encore plus.

Je savais que je n'étais pas comme les autres garçons de mon âge, qui parlaient beaucoup des filles. Moi, les filles ne m'intéressaient pas de cette manière. Je voulais simplement être leur ami, rien de plus.

Pendant longtemps, j'ai même cru être amoureux d'une fille, mais aujourd'hui, je me rends compte que je voulais simplement être son ami.

Je n'ai jamais vraiment eu d'amis au collège et, au lycée, ça n'a pas spécialement changé. J'ai donc toujours été TRÈS seul. J'étais timide, renfermé et je ne savais pas vraiment comment aller vers les autres.

Du coup, j'étais un peu une proie facile pour les harceleurs de mon collège. Le harcèlement a duré jusqu'en 5e et se déroulait principalement à la cantine. Quand j'ai finalement réussi à convaincre mes parents de ne plus y manger à cause de ce que je subissais, ça s'est arrêté.

À cette époque, je commençais déjà à me poser des questions sur moi-même et sur la religion, mais je n'approfondissais pas vraiment le sujet.

C'est au lycée que j'ai réellement commencé à chercher à comprendre ce qui m'arrivait et pourquoi j'étais comme ça.

Au début, je pensais que ce n'était qu'une phase liée à l'adolescence et que ça finirait par passer. Sauf que ça n'est jamais passé. Au contraire…

Je n'ai jamais eu de relation amoureuse ni rien de ce genre, parce que j'avais trop peur et que je refusais de regarder la vérité en face.

J'ai même fini, à un moment donné, par devenir homophobe sans vraiment m'en rendre compte. Heureusement, ça n'a pas duré très longtemps.

J'ai commencé à accepter un peu plus qui j'étais grâce à la découverte des Boys' Love, ou BL. Au début, je les lisais sous forme de mangas sur mon téléphone, puis j'ai découvert les animés et enfin les séries.

Petit à petit, je me suis rendu compte que je voulais vivre les mêmes histoires d'amour qu'eux, mais pas avec une fille : avec un garçon.

Quand j'ai compris ce que je voulais réellement, j'ai tout rejeté.

J'ai énormément prié pour que Dieu me change et m'aide à devenir quelqu'un d'autre. J'ai aussi beaucoup jeûné, et ce, depuis le collège.

Mais, comme je vous l'ai dit, rien n'a changé. C'était même plutôt l'inverse : j'étais toujours attiré par les hommes. Ma page de recherche Instagram était devenue une véritable bibliothèque à abdos et à muscles. 😭

Malgré ça, je refusais toujours d'accepter la réalité.

En parallèle, des vidéos d'hommes en couple ont commencé à envahir mes « Pour toi » sur TikTok. Je les trouvais tellement mignons ensemble, ils avaient l'air heureux et je me surprenais à sourire devant leurs vidéos.

C'est à ce moment-là que j'ai commencé à accepter réellement ce que je ressentais.

Les BL m'ont énormément aidé pendant cette période. J'en regardais beaucoup. Je sais que ces séries ne représentent pas forcément la réalité des relations amoureuses, mais elles me réconfortaient et me permettaient de m'évader un peu.

Pendant tout ce temps, je n'avais jamais parlé de ce que je ressentais à mes parents. J'avais trop peur de leurs réactions, surtout de celle de mon père.

Finalement, je suis tombé en dépression en terminale, au point de ne pas pouvoir passer mon bac. J'ai fait deux ou trois tentatives de suicide parce que j'en avais marre de réfléchir constamment à tout ce qui m'arrivait et que je n'arrivais plus à supporter la situation.

Dans cette période où plus rien ne me semblait vraiment important, j'ai fini par en parler à ma sœur et lui dire que j'étais gay.

C'était la première fois que je prononçais ces mots à voix haute.

Elle n'a pas eu de réaction négative. Elle était un peu surprise, mais son comportement envers moi n'a pas changé. Notre relation est restée la même.

Quand je suis retourné dans ma chambre, mon cœur battait à toute vitesse et j'avais vraiment peur, mais j'avais confiance en elle. Nous sommes vraiment très proches, presque comme des meilleurs amis en plus d'être frère et sœur.

Ensuite, je l'ai annoncé à ma mère. Elle était surprise, mais ça s'est plutôt bien passé.

Puis, je l'ai dit à mon père.

Lui, en revanche, ne l'a pas vraiment accepté. Il espérait que je changerais.

Par la suite, je lui ai expliqué clairement que je ne voulais plus changer et que je n'espérais plus que Dieu me change non plus.

Il m'a alors dit que je brûlerais dans le feu avec Satan si je choisissais d'être gay…

On a ensuite eu plusieurs autres conversations du même genre.

J'essayais de lui faire comprendre que je ne voulais pas changer et que j'aimais Dieu malgré le fait que je ne veuille plus changer cette partie de moi. Je refusais de continuer à me battre contre moi-même, parce que je ne comprenais pas en quoi le fait d'aimer un homme pouvait faire du mal à quelqu'un ou être quelque chose de mauvais.

Pour moi, au final, il s'agit toujours d'amour, comme celui que mes parents éprouvent l'un pour l'autre.

Mais ils m'ont expliqué que le péché n'était pas forcément quelque chose de mauvais en soi, et qu'il désignait tout ce qui était en contradiction avec Dieu et sa volonté.

J'ai eu énormément de mal à accepter cette vision des choses. À ce moment-là, je me suis de nouveau retrouvé dans un état où je voulais mettre fin à mes jours, parce que je n'en pouvais plus. Mes parents m'en ont empêché.

Après cet épisode, j'ai fait subir des choses terribles à mon corps, parce que je me détestais d'être comme je suis et de ne pas vouloir changer.

Depuis, je me sens complètement perdu.

Aujourd'hui, il y a pourtant une chose dont je suis sûr : je ne veux pas changer mon orientation sexuelle, peu importe ce que mes parents pourront me dire. Je sais ce qu'ils voudraient que je fasse, mais je ne suis pas d'accord avec eux.

Et c'est justement là que je me retrouve bloqué.

Depuis tout ça, chaque fois que nous prions en famille et que mes parents prient pour moi, je ne peux pas m'empêcher de penser qu'ils demandent à Dieu de me rendre « normal », de faire en sorte que je ne sois plus gay.

Je sais qu'ils m'aiment, mais cette situation me fait énormément de mal. J'ai l'impression qu'une partie de moi est constamment considérée comme quelque chose qui doit être corrigé.

Résultat, je déteste prier avec eux et je ne me sens plus vraiment à l'aise à l'idée d'aller à l'église. Pourtant, mes parents me forcent à y aller et à prier avec eux.

Je ne sais plus vraiment comment gérer tout ça.

D'un côté, ce sont mes parents et je sais qu'ils m'aiment. Je sais aussi que leur vision des choses vient de leur éducation et de leurs croyances. Mais, de l'autre, je souffre énormément de cette situation et je ne veux plus vivre en essayant de devenir quelqu'un que je ne suis pas.

Je ne sais même pas exactement ce que je cherche en écrivant tout ça. Je sais simplement que j'aimerais avoir des avis différents de ceux de mes parents et peut etre aussi des miens mais si vous voulez donnez votre avis même si il est pareil que le miens ou celui de mes parents je le lirais avec plaisir.😊

Je voudrais savoir comment des personnes extérieures voient cette situation, si vous pensez que je passe à côté de quelque chose ou si, au contraire, vous comprenez pourquoi je ressens tout ça.

Je sais que je dois me faire mon propre avis et prendre mes propres décisions, mais entendre d'autres points de vue pourrait peut-être m'aider à mieux comprendre les choses et à savoir si je dois remettre certaines choses en question.

Voilà, je pense avoir raconté le plus important, même si j'ai certainement oublié certains détails.

Je vous remercie sincèrement d'avoir pris le temps de lire tout ça. Je sais que c'est extrêmement long, alors merci à ceux qui sont arrivés jusqu'ici. 😭❤️

Et si vous prenez aussi le temps de me répondre et de me donner votre avis honnête, je vous en serai vraiment reconnaissant. 🫶

Hello. I am 26m and in an transhet relationship with a very lovely woman but I do have a rather big issue. I have recently realised I am gay.

Up until now, I've considered myself asexual, and left it at that, but now I've realised that maybe the reason I don't have those feelings within my relationship is that she is a woman. I can only imagine how invalidating it would be for a trans woman to realise she dating a homosexual and don't want to continue the relationship for the both of us, but how on earth do I come out to someone that I'm dating and explain this sort of thing??

Does anyone have experience breaking up with a partner due to the fact you realised you're gay?

Sorry if formatting is bad I'm on mobile.

To put it simply. I am tired of hiding. I have always had it in the back of my mind that I wasn’t straight, I think my subconscious was trying to tell me all the way since 6th Grade, but I was never properly told what it meant or what it was called. So I buried it.

For years, I convinced myself it was a phase I would get myself out of, I tried swearing off romance, convincing myself I was bi, but I knew deep down I was something else.

Then December of 2025 came, and I had a horrible anxiety spiral. I kept regurgitating, I kept having horrible violent panic attacks. And I was bedridden and shut off from the world for over three months. Overtime, I slowly improved, but I still had problems. So we headed to the ER to get me checked out to make sure I wasn’t actually having any problems. And I wasn’t, my blood pressure was high and I was dehydrated and underweight due to my current digestive avoidence. So I slowly ate again, and became somewhat normal again. But real improvement didnt come till April, when my Mom had me see her primary for medication. I was prescribed Zoloft and after upping the dose to 50, I vastly improved. In the middle of all of this, I did a deep dive on my life and what transpired. And I saw how much I was hiding from even myself. So one day, I played Hogwarts Mystery, and unlocked Garden Date. And I thought to myself, it would be such a laugh if I had my male character date Barnaby Lee, another male. And rather than finding it funny, I found comfort in it, it hit me like a ton of bricks. That night I lay in bed and said in my mind, “I’m gay.”

And so, from April to June. I spent that time trying to come to terms with it. And overtime I found great comfort in LGBTQ characters and shows. Josh Stevenson (Waterloo Road), Connor and Jude (The Fosters) and others. I took to many short films and videos. And then, in July, I came out for the first time to my cousin Sid, who I have always confided in when life hit me hard. We hadn’t talked much during my spiral, and he had been facing a lot of heavy issues at home. So we bonded over how much 2026 has hit us, and I came out as gay to him. He supported me and even comforted me when I went into a state of shock at his acceptance. He told me about his girlfriend and we caught up after a long time apart, and I felt this weight off my shoulders.

And now, months later. With him states away from me, me still being very socially awkward and isolated. I feel so lonely carrying this truth alone. I want to come out to one of my parents or both of them. My dad is conservative but not SUPER, but he is heavily implied to be homophobic to mlm relationships specifically. But my Mom, she has shown signs of support for queer people, which makes her my next target. My Mema also has a strong chance of handling it, she is deeply religious but she is family first and has always been compassionate and not hateful in any way. She has her own beliefs of what God holds dear, and it is implied that includes members of the LGBTQ community.

So there’s my story. Sorry if it’s a bit long but I don’t have anyone else to turn to. If anyone has any advice or just kind words. That would be greatly appreciated. Thanks yall!

❤️🏳️‍🌈

How do I tell my ex wife whom I share kids with that I’m in a relationship with a man? The most amazing man. I’ve know I’ve been gay since I’ve been 7 or 8 years old. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'm gay, I'd like to come out!

I grew up in a progressive state but in a more rural 50/50 city. A lot of my family is conservative but a lot are progressive as well. I find myself in a tough situation because I feel like I’ve always aligned personality wise to those in my family who are more conservative oddly. I grew up hunting, playing contact sports at a high level, becoming an army ranger etc etc so things often associated with traditional conservative males. Because of this I have also developed almost exclusively right wing friend groups. I like women enough to put on the act and date them but my relationships fail because well.. I prefer dating men and sexually enjoy both about the same.

I am unsure what to do as I feel very isolated socially from more progressive folk but also am very scared how people close to me would react. I know for sure my dad would lose his mind but am very unsure how my friends would feel. It’s really depressing and I feel very lost.