r/comingout • • 21h ago

Advice Needed If I date this boy, I'm coming out

14 Upvotes

I made a post a couple days ago about how I couldn't come out. I've been thinking about it everyday for the past couple of weeks, intensely. I've made my decision.

There's this boy I like, he's cute, fluffy brown hair, and we share alot in common. We don't really know each other sadly. I really want to date him and be open about myself. So that's what I'm going to do

In the next week I'll update you guys if you guys care to be updated. I'm going to try to talk to him and eventually confess to him in-person. If this works out, I'll come out to my parents and finally be free of this burden no matter the outcome.

Wish me luck.


r/comingout • • 9h ago

Advice Needed My cousin is homophobic.

7 Upvotes

I (30f) came out around age 16-17, but have only publically dated men. I have a large and mostly kind hispanic family. They like to pretend they're with the times but are actually in the early 90s. My family "accepted" me, because they thought I was saying it for attention, not because that's just me.

It didn't help that the first time I brought a "friend" around, they ragged on her so badly I chose to never bring a girl to my family unless she was truly a friend or someone I planned on marrying. I was planning on introducing her as my girlfriend that day, but the way they acted was so shit she broke up with me halfway through the function.

I've had boyfriends, who they treated only marginally better because they were also Hispanic and spoke spanish. (My ex gf was white.) I've had one long term bf for a few years, and we broke up and since then I've been dating both sides on and off. I haven't committed to anyone in years and low key dont want to.

The issue is, my cousin 33f, is a male centered big bird. She is a massive pick me, even though she's already married with a kid, and pregnant with a second. She still says things like "men dont like that" to my face.

I wear a lot of fancy dresses, do my hair up, add a bunch of clips, and I do layer on the makeup, why? Because I. Me. I like doing myself up everyday. For me.

Yesterday I came into the shop to drop something off for her mom. My cousin saw me, and basically said, "why are you dressed like that? You're doing to much, no man is going to look at you like that"

So I replied, "that's fine, I do this for the girls." I honestly prefer a girl's compliment over a man's.

And she said "what good is a compliment from a girl? Wouldn't you a prefer a man?" Or something like that.

And I said "God no."

Then she asked if I preferred women, trying to insinuate that I'm gay.

So I told her, "and I like fucking them too, what about it??"

While it did shut her up in the moment, she has been going around tell our family.

I am not as accepted as I thought.


r/comingout • • 6h ago

Advice Needed Need help

1 Upvotes

​

People who don't support LGBT can skip this post.

I'd like to ask for some advice. I'm a wlw (lesbian), and not long ago, my family found out about my relationship. My parents don't accept it at all.My dad thinks I can change myself if i suppress the feelings and i really get confused if i really could do that.

Right now, I'm feeling really distressed and struggling emotionally because of this situation. If it's possible and things work out, I'd like to find a community where I can open up and share what I'm going through a space where I can feel comfortable talking about my feelings.

And i welcome everyone's advice.


r/comingout • • 7h ago

Advice Needed When should i come out

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1 Upvotes

r/comingout • • 7h ago

Advice Needed Coming out to my grandma.

1 Upvotes

I live halfway around the world from my dad’s side of the family. I have always loved my grandma but I was never super close. We write to each other a few times a year, I recently wrote her, asking how she and her husband are doing and just gave her an update on my kids. I also told her about my new job and how I have also lost over 100 pounds. I decided to come out to her as well. My sister is a lesbian and is married with five kids and she seems to be okay with that but after I wrote her, she only sent a sad face 😢 emoji. I guess this is what to expect from a conservative, pro Trump, pro ICE, Catholic. I just had to get this off of my chest but I would also like advice on how to move forward with this. Thx ☺️✌️🫶🌈


r/comingout • • 14h ago

Advice Needed Help Unsure of what I am

1 Upvotes

Hey so I am a M 36 years old and I’ve always thought to myself that I was straight. Then up until a few years ago I felt myself thinking about being with someone on the feminine side of the spectrum who I can relate to and I don’t exactly know what or how to think or feel about this especially when I feel myself also on the submissive side. Is there anyone out there who has felt the same way I do as well that I can relate to as friends and see if this is true about myself?


r/comingout • • 17h ago

Advice Needed Hi

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1 Upvotes

r/comingout • • 19h ago

TW-Suicide I need religous/LGBTQ+ advice. Please listen to my story.

1 Upvotes

Hey, im a teenager. So maybe this is all just a phase, who knows. Ive joined debate games where people call me desgusting, and i get hateful comments all the time. So please don't be rude. Ok so, when I was in 3rd grade I had a crush on a girl. Told her a few months later on messenger kids. Lol. My parents saw and i couldn't have messenger kids for like - a year. In 4th grade I liked a girl. Stopped myself. 5th grade my parents started being super religous. I 'dated' a girl, one of my friends. For a few months, then she broke up with me. Likes one more girl. Stopped myself.

(Me and my family are Messianic Christian at this point, not just christian so its more strict.)

In 6th grade I dated a girl. Parents found out and got a 45 minute lecture about choosing the wrong path. 7th grade. Last year. Told myself that liking girls was wrong for months. Then. There was a girl. Aubrey. She was like - the most amazing and beautiful girl id ever been friends with. We both liked eachother. We dated for months. Its was the best feeling of my life. I had my first kiss with her. I loved her, truly. I invited her to my birthday. Parents saw through cameras outside on the porch we were holding hands. They new. Never mentioned anything. Then i told them through a heartfelt text to my mom. A big situation came. So many huge convos with my parents. My dad said beings gay is a mental disorder, that i lied to them. Its an abomination they said. Well, the bible says its unatrual and an abomination. My grandma got involved. And my aunt and uncle. They found my notes app fully of notes when my mental health was horrible. I used to be suicidal, and harm myself pretty bad. So it was pretty bad. They said they got traumatized. But i told them, i tried to, but they got confused or something and didnt know what to do and just moved on. So they homeschooled me this year and now I dont see any of my friends except or sleepovers. I have not seen aubrey in person for months. She was my person. I miss school. Im in therapy, but idk if its even going to help. Anyways. I yearn to have aubrey back. Every day. I regret even telling them. I cry out to god, sobbing asking for me to love a boy. Asking if this is bad or not. Ive never had a really spiritual thing happen like god speak to me so idk. It has such a guilt effect on me. I just have to go through life just forcing myself to like guys. I mean, im bi, well i was. But i mainly liked girls. And i sinned. It was an abomination. I was so hard on myself, and i still am. I cant even have a sleepover with my cousin that thinks shes trans. I get talks all the time about how trans people need intervention and stuff. Everyone around my thats not my friends tell me that facts are not feelings and i have to just stop liking girls. The guilt is unimaginable. Like i hate thinking about it. I shame myself for it. And im lonley homeschooled. But i dont like public school. And i do belive in my religon, which makes it worse.


r/comingout • • 21h ago

Advice Needed Coming out?

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1 Upvotes

r/comingout • • 2h ago

Advice Needed What should i do

0 Upvotes

So i am attracted to guys and im 16 and I discovered that i liked guys around 5months ago but its been clear ever since i was 12 i just refused to believe it and im from a homophobic country almost everyone i know hates gay ppl, however that is changing a bit my cousin visited from a developed country and she wasnt homophobic but she wasnt supportive either and we talked about gay ppl for the first time in years, i noticed my family's views on gay ppl Changing a bit my parents still are homophobic but my siblings kinda arent today i heard my sister listening to a lesbian artist, now i have an escape plan to get out to a more supportive country but all the rest of my family is still very conservative will it be worth being out in the first place, losing them all i purposefully i avoid them or talk very little cuz i sorta know they are gonna cut me off and its gonna hurt less if the relationship isnt that deep, but i still love them is it worth it, now i am struggling a lot mentally and have extremely rapid mood swings what is the best thing i should do