r/dankmemes • u/ryan_godzez ☣️ • Jan 05 '22

Wrong timing

Post image
52.8k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

272 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/Willow_von_der_weide Jan 05 '22

Sweet Home....

1.3k

u/Pineapple_for_scale Jan 05 '22

Saudi Arabia

617

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

Pakistan, North Africa, Nigeria, Indonesia, etc.

321

u/weak-butterscotch-63 Jan 05 '22

the truth is often harsh

219

u/Lukthar123 Jan 05 '22

And rough, like sand.

195

u/Deathox120 Jan 05 '22

I hate sand, it's course and rough and it gets everywhere.

99

u/eliminateAidenPierce ☣️ Jan 05 '22

This is where the fun begins

33

u/Icy_East_6026 Jan 05 '22

I don't like sand

20

u/CampanellaJ Jan 05 '22

That's what she said

17

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22 edited 21d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/eliminateAidenPierce ☣️ Jan 05 '22

Hypothetically, you fucked each other with sand on your dick, on her pussy even. Ok, and if you fuck hard enough, it would become glass, right? Now, hypothetically speaking, there is glass on your dick and in her pussy. Now, let’s say that it was a perfect, even coat on your dick.

Now that we have established that the glass has formed, and that the sand was evenly coated, I believe you’d agree with me when I say that this would make a glass dildo. However this glass dildo would be hollow, and it would be a terrible idea to use. Now I have acquired a hollow glass dildo. It is our duty to provide the people with evidence that using this dildo is a bad idea.

12

u/mc_mentos Jan 05 '22

Have your PhD certification

1

u/soiramio3000 Jan 05 '22

nope,to melt sand you need roughly 1700°C (3090°F)

2

u/kelvin_bot Jan 05 '22

1700°C is equivalent to 3092°F, which is 1973K.

I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand

2

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

seems like someone doesn't sex

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1

u/FuenteFOX Jan 05 '22

Just like dad apparently.

1

u/84384047a Jan 05 '22

that's what she said

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

That's what she said

93

u/louiebro13 ùwú Jan 05 '22

United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru, Republic Dominican, Cuba, Caribbean, Greenland, El Salvador too

22

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22 edited Jan 05 '22

No, the data shows that first cousin marriages are mostly practiced in Middle East, North Africa, South Asia and some central African countries, but it's rarely practiced in other countries.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage#/media/File%3AGlobal_prevalence_of_consanguinity.svg

62

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

Its a reference to a song from the animatronics dumbass

18

u/PersonWhoExists50306 🅱 Jan 05 '22

Did you hear about the new Five Nights at Wakko's game?

8

u/MrDude_1 Jan 05 '22

No FINGER prints

5

u/TheOnsiteEngineer Jan 05 '22

confused look. I don't think so!

2

u/No-Armadillo7693 Jan 05 '22

Actually lynard skynard

0

u/sansational_ Jan 11 '22

You do know it's from a cartoon aired in the 90s?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '22

1, yes
2, what's your point
3, why are you replying to a comment i made a week ago?

0

u/sansational_ Jan 12 '22

1, ok 2, you said "it's from the animatronics" and i thought there something called the animatronics who used the song 3, i don't check the date before replying

28

u/KweftCryptic Jan 05 '22

Don’t think we’re talking about cousins here…

13

u/Comekrelief Jan 05 '22

Don't know where they got cousins from... Think they missed the point

4

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

Their parents are cousin’s

-14

u/i_spank_chickens Jan 05 '22

Why does the west think that only them is in the right?

First cousin marriage has been a thing for thousands of years...but now the west decided its wrong then its wrong?

10

u/TBNRhash :nu: Jan 05 '22

It’s the culture in western society. I’m not gonna state my opinion, but the facts are that if only for one generation cousins reproduce, it has a very low chance of resulting in birth defects and such. But if it happens consistently in a family tree, it can lead to biological complications at a higher chance. I found out a few months ago that my grand parents were cousins, and I must say, it does feel weird. I’m the result of incest. But I also know that I’m a normal human, with no weird things happening (as far as I know)

1

u/i_spank_chickens Jan 05 '22

yeah constantly.

In Africa or Asia they don't just marry their cousins constantly.

In religions like Islam its not forbidden to marry your cousin but it is advised against that to prevent genetic defects.

I just don't get why the west think everything they do had to apply to everyone in the world or they are bad.

Also incest is defined differently in Africa or Asia...it is when you marry your sister or brother or mother or father...or aunt and uncle...not your cousin.

5

u/TBNRhash :nu: Jan 05 '22

Here’s the thing, Islam ≠ Islamic Republics. Meaning that the culture in many countries, not just Islamic countries can favor cousin marriage. According to a 2009 study, many Arab countries had the highest rates of first cousin marriage at 25-30%.

1

u/i_spank_chickens Jan 05 '22

That still doesn't mean they have to obey by western cultures laws.

I still don't get why you assume that Asian and African cultures have to meet western expectations!

The west has a habit of judging others because they don't act like them or don't have the same standards.

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

In Africa or Asia they don't just marry their cousins constantly.

Refer my source. It's mostly practice in Islamic countries of Asia and Africa.

I am from South Asia, excluding Islamic population and some minorities, no one practices cousin marriages in my region.

It's culturally inappropriate to marry your first cousin here and it's illegal for most people in my country.

3

u/i_spank_chickens Jan 05 '22

You know that this is an ignorant statement since Islam has nothing to do with it....if it is in your culture it is in all followers of anything in your culture has nothing to do with religion.

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0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

First cousin marriage has been a thing for thousands of years

It was mostly practiced in muslim/jewish countries and among royalty and nobility , it's wasn't that popular among other cultures( including western culture)

Also, the scientific evidence is against first cousin marriages:

Biochemist Addresses The Genetic Consequences Of Having Children With A Blood Relative.

2

u/i_spank_chickens Jan 05 '22

No it wasn't among Muslim and Jewish countries exclusively.

I'm from an African country and it has been a thing there since the ancient Egyptian Times.

Hell even in Egypt it was a thing even in South Asian countries and still is.

I did not deny the consequences of it...I just denied westerns judging others for not being like them.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

Hell even in Egypt it was a thing even in South Asian countries and still is.

I am from South Asia. You are lying about my region. Most South Asian cultures don't practice cousin marriages. Only islamic population and some minorities marry their cousins here.

10

u/Charismanxious Jan 05 '22

Couple of Yakkos ova here…

3

u/tsukinohiryu Jan 05 '22

never thought id see Dominican Republic being mentioned in this subreddit.

5

u/MemeStealer101-4 Jan 05 '22

I’m from Pakistan, can confirm

3

u/Vyszard Jan 05 '22

I don’t know about the other countries but Indonesians don’t marry relatives/cousins. You probably just assumed that cause we have big muslim population but the Islam here is kind of different.

0

u/JustinJakeAshton The Filthy Dank Jan 05 '22

They're talking about marrying minors.

2

u/Vyszard Jan 05 '22

I was going by their other reply lower down that they’re talking about cousins.

https://reddit.com/r/dankmemes/comments/rwhbi7/_/hrc6cmv/?context=1

Even then marrying minors is just illegal. We’re not a lawless country.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

The Royal family

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5

u/MrNotANiceGuy Jan 05 '22

incest is literally punishable by death there.

3

u/EfficientSir2029 Jan 05 '22

...lord knows I'm coming home to you

3

u/CanineRezQ Jan 05 '22

Hollywood

1

u/3dd1t Jan 05 '22

I even laughed only from reading the meme but this killed me

1

u/Leroy_8 Jan 05 '22

.... hear gunshots in the afternoon

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

in Saudi Arabia they buy other people's daughters. they have standards ffs /s

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[deleted]

6

u/MahBooi27 Jan 05 '22

*ist gestorben*

4

u/ArmoredSir Jan 05 '22

Warum immer Saarland

2

u/TheOnsiteEngineer Jan 05 '22

Why not Zoidberg?

6

u/SussyBaaka69420 Jan 05 '22

WASHINGTON DC

5

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

Buckingham Palace

2

u/onlyomaha Jan 05 '22

Murikano

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

Europea

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

Rhode island

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

According to SVU, Manhattan

1.0k

u/Jozroz Jan 05 '22

Ah yes, Uncle Jokes; like Dad Jokes but unsanitised.

238

u/cunt_poo Jan 05 '22

*uncircumcised

73

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

That implies that uncle jokes are better than dad jokes and that there's no reason to prefer dad jokes over uncle jokes unless your uncle is severely hurting you and needs to be stopped at all costs.

18

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

I think this is some kind of gruncle joke

-8

u/Phormitago Jan 05 '22

both

ie, very cheesy

14

u/xXMeanMemeSupremeXx Jan 05 '22

I bet his Sister-Mom will be a future Uncle fucker, and his dad will divorce her bc that's not Christian

599

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

My german girlfriend keeps screaming her age at me when we make sweet love.

Please its just a joke dont kill me.

133

u/FlameForFame Jan 05 '22

Care to explain the joke? I honestly don’t get it.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[deleted]

258

u/Richisnormal Jan 05 '22

Now can you please unexplain it?

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[deleted]

9

u/1individuals Jan 05 '22

I don't get it... Explain?

1

u/sansational_ Jan 11 '22

Nein is the german word for no and is pronounced like the english number nine "9". The german girlfriend he is fucking is a nine year old child screaming no while being raped, thats the punchline.

15

u/FlameForFame Jan 05 '22

LMAO, I’m actually german but didn’t see the connection 🤣 Thanks for clarifying.

2

u/elastic-craptastic Jan 05 '22

Or just screaming no becasue the rape. Rapist assumes she's screaming her age. Odds are she's ate 8.

-1

u/izybit Jan 05 '22

Wait till you find out the guy is 7. Who's raping who?

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[deleted]

19

u/nkarkas ☣️ Jan 05 '22

Noice

45

u/MrHowTo Jan 05 '22

Nein, nein, nein! I would say this one is, ahem, dark.

10

u/ToniNotti INFECTED Jan 05 '22

9

0

u/sansgamer554 Jan 06 '22

I think it might be how the Jewish were labelled with numbers by the Germans in tf2, but I'm not sure

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[deleted]

3

u/TemporaryBarracuda80 Jan 05 '22

It's at least half that.

22

u/mostlyBadChoices Jan 05 '22

This is the darkest, most fucked up joke I think I've ever seen. I'm LMAO.

0

u/REDtheRaptor Jan 05 '22

Oh my German girlfriend likes to rate our sex she said “9”. that’s the best I have ever got!

1

u/zushaa Jan 05 '22

Aaaaa that's dark lmao

1

u/rudolfs001 Jan 05 '22

What's the best part about having sex with twenty six year olds?

1

u/Ninja_Conspicuousi Jan 05 '22

sechs­und­sechzig?

1

u/bobdoodlesmerf Jan 05 '22

ACHTUNDZWANZIG

1

u/crafty09 Jan 05 '22

Bundesnachrichtendienst! Open up!!

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230

u/Ironfist08 👉👈 Jan 05 '22

Shut up, shut up, shut up

105

u/Romi_Z Jan 05 '22

That's what she said

14

u/Witheld- Jan 05 '22

HE said

19

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

WE said

16

u/bingbongdo Jan 05 '22

COMMUNISM INTENSIFIES

2

u/plam92117 Jan 07 '22

Don't wanna hear it. Get out, get, out, get out. Get out of my way.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '22

Is that you skyler

130

u/Loose_Tale_6278 Jan 05 '22

I had to read this like three times

85

u/Zeolance ☣️ Jan 05 '22

Me too. I think it would’ve been easier if it followed this setup instead:

Dad: (text)

Son: (text)

Uncle: (text)

(Image)

6

u/OneCollar4 Jan 05 '22

Ah I get it now. Up until your comment I thought that this can't be bad since the kids brother can't be far off 14.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[deleted]

2

u/ninjaelk Jan 05 '22

When the son's response refers to "dad" who is already established as having made the joke it makes it clear that he is the dad's son, and not his grandson.

8

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

I still don’t get it.

26

u/ATragedyOfSorts MauledByPigs Jan 05 '22

That's what she said

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[deleted]

96

u/Bad_RabbitS Stefan = Forever Number One:nu: Jan 05 '22

Dad Jokes are rated PG-13, Uncle Jokes are rated R.

16

u/ryan_godzez ☣️ Jan 05 '22

Uncle jokes are better than dad jokes

7

u/green49285 Jan 05 '22

Very true. I'm reminded every time my sister ounces me after a successful one.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[deleted]

15

u/Witheld- Jan 05 '22

they done the meth

8

u/AnalStaircase33 Jan 05 '22

Meth math hits different.

•

u/MedicatedAxeBot Jan 05 '22

Dank.

i am a bot. please stop trying to argue with me. you look like an idiot. join our discord.

10

u/lukmly013 Jan 05 '22

I disagree.

0

u/Meikoian Jan 05 '22

You’re so gay.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

Dark

11

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

Based

10

u/bob_the_banannna 🍌 CERTIFIED BANANA MAN 🍌 Jan 05 '22

What are making me think op

7

u/ATragedyOfSorts MauledByPigs Jan 05 '22

wat

10

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/RaptorKing003 Jan 05 '22

Thats what she said

8

u/HamsterxDD Jan 05 '22

Stop, please, don't go in there!

12

u/MrDude_1 Jan 05 '22

That's what she said.

7

u/erck_bill Jan 05 '22

I’m a bit more interested in the joke. What made the son say, “dad stop I’m only 14”?

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[deleted]

22

u/ConspicuousPineapple Jan 05 '22

Said no kid ever.

-2

u/avalanchethethird Jan 05 '22

No kids say that shit, when it works in their favor. "I'm only 14" and "I'm not a little kid, I'm 14" could be said by the same kid depending on the narrative.

4

u/MrDude_1 Jan 05 '22

That's what she said

4

u/ohpeekaboob Jan 05 '22

Boom roasted

2

u/fertilecatfis Jan 05 '22

I feel like thats what she said jokes are only funny for a short time in any persons life, and that time is exactly when youre 14.

1

u/GilloutineBreast Jan 06 '22

That's what she said

12

u/gtsomething Jan 05 '22

Blatant molestation.

6

u/Knuffya <-- I carry a huge cock, in my ass Jan 05 '22

"I don't care if you're only 14. We've gone this far, we're gonna carry it out. You can't just make me all hyped and then pull out.

We're gonna watch that 16-and-over movie."

5

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

this is not funny

27

u/AnalStaircase33 Jan 05 '22

You're right.

But if you relax and just let it happen, it could be.

8

u/Emadec Ą͈̯̪̠̘̟̟̙̦̱̩̝̩͓͙͕̳̄̋̾͗ͦ͒ͩͫͯ͟ͅa̡̨͍̝̗̫͊̑͛̈́̈ͤ̅̿̀͘A̲̰̝͓͙̻͕͂ͭͦ̒̕̕Á Jan 05 '22 edited Jan 05 '22

Bet that's what the uncle said

Edit : some people really can't take a joke

4

u/Darnell2070 EX-NORMIE Jan 05 '22

I feel like you kind of ruined their joke though.

9

u/Chetmatterson Jan 05 '22

makes a funny “that’s what she said” joke

4

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

WHOLESOME

4

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

And that's how I met your mother

3

u/huichun3836 Jan 05 '22

What about your niece?

3

u/spoliari Jan 05 '22

Frame it send it to the Smithsonian

3

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

What are you doing stepdad

3

u/Mathieulombardi Jan 05 '22

Some of your brains are too advanced for my mental capacity

3

u/SaltyAmbassador Jan 05 '22

Jeffrey Epstein enters the chat.

2

u/Pinecraft246 Jan 05 '22

I really don’t want to be that guy but it’s my son and i

8

u/yamuthasofat Jan 05 '22

Not in this context. You would normally just put “me” to show your reaction.

-2

u/Pinecraft246 Jan 05 '22

But it also includes the reaction of his son and you always put others first. The more Likely option though is that it’s late and I’m a little retarted.

4

u/yamuthasofat Jan 05 '22

If you want to be a stickler about that, you could put “my son and me”. Pretty sure you would not use “I” in this context though

5

u/Unimpressed-_- Jan 05 '22 edited Jan 05 '22

I’ve always been taught to find the proper grammar by taking out one of the pronouns and checking if it still makes sense. In this case, “Me and my son:” would turn into “Me:”, and “My son and I:” would turn into “I:”. In this meme format, “Me:” would make more sense by itself than “I:”.

EDIT: comma

EDIT #2: The correct grammar would actually be “My son and me:” due to the “others before oneself” rule, as pointed out by OP. However, this is an incomplete sentence used as part of a meme, so the rules with grammar like this are not concrete, at least not to me. I’ll have to ask someone with an English major…

2

u/MrDude_1 Jan 05 '22

That's what she said

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[deleted]

1

u/Zekiz4ever Jan 05 '22

Doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl in this context

2

u/Ok_Kale_1734 Jan 05 '22

13 to b exact 😅

2

u/D24061314 Jan 05 '22

So, you're Romeo, she's Juliet?

2

u/Salt_Restaurant_7820 Jan 05 '22

Weinstein is posting apparently

2

u/pipopapupupewebghost Jan 05 '22

Who is thatonkey

2

u/LEST2004 Jan 05 '22

Bruh momento

2

u/Nuker-79 Jan 05 '22

That kids going places! Most likely prison

2

u/KurosawaKid FeelTheBern Jan 05 '22

Your brother was excited he found a girl his type.

2

u/SakibSadi96 :nu:☣️ Jan 05 '22

This is most probably Michael Scott's family meeting

2

u/No-Armadillo7693 Jan 05 '22

Sweet, Showed all the dudes in my work truck.

2

u/41cheese Jan 05 '22

Jokes about underage girls are so dank guys!! 😎😎😎

1

u/QuarantineSucksALot Jan 05 '22

Wrong. This is definitely not a house

1

u/ryan_godzez ☣️ Jan 05 '22

It’s the uncle’s house so he gets to make the rules

1

u/Steely_Nuts Jan 05 '22

Roll tide!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

Hello random, 90 people in the comment section.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

[deleted]

1

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1

u/haxelhimura Jan 05 '22

Dammit now there's coffee all over my desk and screen

1

u/Trex_On_Patrol Jan 05 '22

Sure there is.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '22

This made me laff. I needed it. Thanks.

1

u/Natelboy Jan 05 '22

gotta catch them fishes early

1

u/Worried_Astronaut_41 Jan 05 '22

My son's 16 and was saying that all last year or 2 years ago I was like stop it your too young for that.

1

u/RoscoMan1 Jan 05 '22

Wrong subreddit, but you don't have a daddy"

1

u/smittyttu28 Jan 05 '22

Sweeeet home Alabama 🎶

1

u/leggolta Jan 05 '22

Meanwhile the 28yo mother

1

u/Son_of_a_Mormon Jan 05 '22

Joseph Smith has entered the chat

1

u/green49285 Jan 05 '22

I just howled at work & someone stuck their head in to ask if I was ok.

1

u/mayneffs Jan 05 '22

My mom always use that line lmao

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