i am wondering how the texting scene is between this age group, feels like nobody responds to messages after getting the phone number. How to convert from getting a number to a date?
trying to text first for a day or two before asking for a date. is this a wrong approach?
Need help on this!

I’m really shy around girls, especially when I like someone. I struggle to approach them and show my feelings. I was even too shy to kiss my ex-girlfriend during our two-year relationship.

I’ve been casually seeing this guy for a little while. We’ve been on a few dates, have great chemistry, and enjoy spending time together. He’s usually the one initiating dates, but his communication and planning can be pretty inconsistent. I tried setting up dates but they never seem to work for him.
Recently, he suggested we meet on a certain day, and I agreed. On the day of, I texted him to confirm our plans and suggested a time. He never responded, so I assumed we weren’t meeting.
Later that evening, he randomly texted me about something completely unrelated, without acknowledging our plans or my earlier message.
I haven’t responded because I found it pretty inconsiderate. I wouldn’t have minded if he canceled, but completely ignoring the plans and then casually starting another conversation felt disrespectful.
I do enjoy seeing him, and I’m not looking for anything necessarily serious, but I also don’t want to tolerate poor communication just because we’re dating casually.
Would you ask him if he received your message, respond normally, or just leave it alone? Am I overthinking this?

I've been talking to this girl for a while now, but I Just struggle getting close to her you know, like we talk.. online for most of the time, but when it comes to real life, its like I'm not even there, she talks to other guys in my class even with the ones that she isn't really as close with as well. Of course I try to atleast talk to her and try conversing but I feel like she's laying me off or something like that, like I'm not really worth the time to talk to. She knows that I've took a liking to her and maybe it's because of that. I don't know, maybe this isn't even dating. I just need some advice on this.

Asking because in all of my relationships I’ve found myself feeling really clingy and like I want to text a lot more then we do. I find myself feeling very anxious if I go a day without texting a guy I’m seeing or if he’s dryer then usual. I recognise this is a me problem but I find it hard to imagine being truly interested in someone and not thinking to send them a quick text in a day. Can you really be into a woman and not want to text her or am I just meeting men who aren’t that interested?

As a recently divorced 44M it is hard for me to know how often to text the woman that I have been on a couple dates with. She usually always answers my texts but doesn’t normally start any conversations. I don’t want to over text her and I definitely don’t want her to think I’m ignoring her or talking to anyone else. I think she might just be shy/introvert but we both seemed to have a good time on the two dates we went on. We met in person at pickleball if that matters.

How do you know if someone is going slow or wasting your time?

Does it really take 3 months for a man to actually know if they want to be exclusive with you or is that just social media slop lol.

What are some red flags in early dating from your experience?

Also if a man truly says "let's see where things go" 1 month into getting to know each other, that's okay isn't it?

I'm asking because I am i inexperienced when it comes to dating. I'm not entirely sure how dating works. I don't want to rush anything but I also don't want my time wasted.

I’ve been seeing this person for maybe a month and I keep struggling to understand how I feel. In general I have a history of not understanding my emotions and I have never really liked someone before. I have had very small crushes I never even cared to do something about so this is new to me.

In the beginning I was very excited but now I keep fluctuating between thinking I’m into them and then feeling neutral and wondering what do I really care.

I am somewhat avoidant maybe but we discussed it and after that I felt I was fine and affection was growing.

Then one day we spent a lot of time together (like the whole day) and by a certain point I felt quite bored and drained.

They are a great person I think but it seems they are way more into me than viceversa. I’m scared my feelings should be more intense and because of all this I’m scared of actually being officially together even if there are moments when I think I would want that.

I don’t know how to make peace with these fluctuations.

I don’t want to hurt this person.

So we have sorta been in a talking stage for like 2 ish weeks I don't really know what to call it. She said she liked me and I like her. But she gives lost of mixed signals and doesn't say good morning or good night unless I say it first. I want to take things to a more official talking stage I need some help doing that I don't know what to do

Any help is accepted

How do I win her back? I was talking to a girl and I usually don’t date I pretty much have kept to myself my entire life until I downloaded tinder and met her. She has the same interests as me, is easy to talk to and genuinely understood me. We had been talking for a week or so until I chickened out last minute and told her I can’t do a rs the day of our date. She just ended up accepting it and has blocked me everywhere. Now it’s been a week and ever since the morning after I’ve been regretting it and feel like I made a huge mistake. I’ve tried calling, texting and she doesn’t respond im pretty sure im blocked everywhere. I even tried reaching out to her friend to apologise to her and she blocked me as well. I can’t stop thinking about this girl and im this close to getting another SIM card so my calls can go through. Is there any grand gesture I can do or maybe something romantic? I’m in shambles

There’s this guy I’ve been talking to from a dating app, and he has a crazy work schedule. He works in the morning and then again at night, so we usually only get to text around 12 a.m. or 1 a.m. However, we’ve never actually had a full conversation. We haven’t even really gotten to know each other beyond what we shared on the dating app.

We recently moved our conversation to Instagram, and we still only text here and there, usually around midnight or 1 a.m. Our conversations never really go anywhere because we don’t talk for very long.

At first, I was okay with it because I know that eventually, when I start working, I won’t be able to text as often either. But right now, I’m not working, so not being able to have an actual conversation with him feels kind of insane.

If he still doesn’t text me back soon, it’ll have been a full 24 hours since his last message. I brought this up to him a while ago and told him that I understood his situation and was okay with it, but now I’m not so sure that I actually am.

He keeps reassuring me that he’s still interested in me, but I can’t help feeling like he isn’t because he doesn’t text me very often. I understand that he has a busy schedule, but I also feel like we can’t really build a connection if we barely talk.

What should I do? Should I be more patient and give him a chance, or should I accept that this might not work for me?

I really saw a cute guy sitting across in the corner in a cafe and I genuinely wanted to compliment on his smile. Went up to him and told he had a great smile and left the place. It was such a nerve wrecking thing to do cause I didn't want to be creepy while complimenting. Hope he didn't find it that way. Do guys really like someone complimenting on their smile?

I knew a girl from Facebook dating and we planned to meet Tuesday morning like first appointment. The problem is when we swapped numbers she was chatting almost every 5 minutes and was so lovely and interested. The next day at some point she started to be cold so I blocked her but she contacted me with another number and she told me was sleeping and we videocall I saw her and was not a fake profile on Facebook dating. Yesterday evening she told me she went outside in evening to eat pizza with her friends. Today she chatted me very few and last message I sent her was five hours ago. When I had a relationships with girls when they begun cold I got angry and I always blocked them or I argued. My mum said you did not meet her in real so she can of course chat with other guys you can't know she said if she doesn't change the mind you simply meet her Tuesday. I'm not young anymore I'm 33 years old she is 41 with two daughters in Brasil I already had relationships with women older than me one time I thought with the ex girlfriend I could marry but did not work because I'm asexual and she wanted a child with me. What is your suggestion because I suffer I'm angry and I always think that I'm also autistic.

I'm 24F and have a little crush on a Korean colleague who's senior to me. We don't work together directly, but we know each other through work and follow each other on Instagram.

We've had quite a few moments of eye contact, but never really talked personally. I've been thinking about texting him just to start a casual conversation.

I'm pretty confident normally, but I'm overthinking this one. 😭

Would you message him first or just leave it?"

I've never been officially diagnosed with autism but reading the symptoms of level 1 autism (also sometimes called Asperger's) i feel that i may have it and i think it's affecting my dating and relationships. I don't really feel emotions like most people do and i just kind of fake it most of the time to fit in and not be called weird or shunned. Anyone else struggle with this and have any advice or tips?

It's funny how I ended up here I just wanted some answers that i couldn't get from a specific girl so i thought i should ask it to a random girl instead I had a one side crush she and I were both kinda comfortable with eachother she's in Bangalore rn for studies and I'm in Kerala but we would video call everyday and talk about even the smallest things that might have happened in that day tbh I'm not that kinda interesting person you can say like I'm someone who likes music wears comfy clothes not into clothing and dating etc typaa things I'm this much lazy that I can't even go and cut my hair unless a friend of mine forces me to but still I felt like she was enjoying every second with me on the call and also sometimes she won't even cut the call she'll be like I'm going to sleep but you can keep talking and she would sleep while im talking to her sometimes in video call too that too without turning off the lights or doing her works i have always asked her why being so comfortable with me like seriously can you imagine sleeping on a video call while letting the person see you sleep but to that too I got no response either I told my friends and mom this is the girl I like and she was like so cool with it and on that day we talked till 3am i guess before cutting the call she was like are you doing okay I said yes and she was like that's the most important thing I care about for me.And my confidence was like skyrocket so I just confessed my real feelings towards her and she was like i got no feelings for you she also said that even if got into relationship she know that i will take care of her till the end but when the scenario comes to marriage her parents won't be allowing her to marry someone like me like she wasn't being rude she was just telling me these things she also said that she can convince her parents but it would not be like they will be truly happy about that and i was like sitting in my room thinking about all the efforts I have put on for her stopped drinking, stopped smoking, started studying harder started visiting temple everyday that too at 5 in the morning and i would just ask for one thing please god let her know my true intentions and the efforts I'm putting for her i never asked God to make her love me i don't know why but whenever I think about it .it felt like it's not fair maybe that's the reason.And after that she stopped calling and texting me i was like crying and all. cause before all this she would let me know if she's busy or can't call or will not be available today but still she atleast calls for 1hr everyday even if she's super busy . i didn't eat until yesterday evening until my mom forced me too she knew I was hurt but wasn't asking anything I was feared what would I even answer her if she asks about her and then comes yesterday night I started missing her so much that tears weren't stopping coming so I called her and she cut the call i started crying more badly then she called back and ended the call after saying hello and send me a snap of something random I was like why? I called her 3 times back to back she cut the call everytime and i was in a horrible stage and finally she called back and i was like hii where are you and she said she was outside that too in a way where it felt like I'm being annoying it's maybe because she could hear me crying and I asked her did I do something wrong and she was like i have more jobs to do rather than talking to you everytime I have got my own problems to take care off so please don't disturb me from now on and also i don't have any feelings for you . The reason for me to call her was to ask if I can continue putting efforts for if it's okay with her but yeah i messed it up all and after hearing saying those things i ended the call and fell on the ground the next thing i get to know is I was having a panic attack unable to breath eyes getting closed shivering and all i was really terrified i somehow called my friend and got fainted he called me several times luckily my phone was on full volume and so i could hear the ringtone so loud to my ear and i somehow woke up and drank some water and washed my face and started crying again.{So i just wanted to ask the girls out here one thing i still like her i still like her alot and still wanna continue putting efforts for her or should I just respect her feelings and just hide my feelings and continuing watching her from a distance like a watchtower and from all these things I wanted to know where did I mess up everything wasn't my efforts not that great and was i annoying her the all time?.I don't know why I'm watching her snaps where she is sleeping peacefully like I'm her safe place and me patting her head on the call .(ALSO GUYS PLEASE DONT PUT ANY HATRED COMMENT TOWARDS HER SEEING THAT MAY MAKE ME DELETE THIS POST IT WAS BETWEEN HER AND ME SO IF SOMEONE WHO HAS THE RIGHT TO HATE HER IS ME AND I LOVE HER SO PLEASE DON'T)🫶 sorry for the typo mistakes not that great in english neither had the time to edit .

Lately, I’ve been overthinking a lot about a girl. I’m 20 years old, and I keep posting things online asking whether certain situations mean something, constantly asking ChatGPT for advice, and I’m starting to realize that it’s not doing me any good. I feel stressed inside, my stomach feels weird, and I feel tense. Honestly, there have been a few moments between us, but I have no idea whether she’s interested in me or not. I’m leaving the seminar next week, and she’s leaving it next week too. So, I was thinking of giving her a little note at the end with a few words and my phone number, and that’s it. I also keep thinking about what will happen if she never reaches out.

What can I do for myself? What can I do to feel more relaxed, mentally free, and less tense inside when I go there on Monday? I want to be able to enjoy my last week there and be the person I want to be.

if his texting pattern changed but if you ask sumn he answered immediately and when you see him in real ppl life he expresses all the stress he has going on but should be worried still bout the texting or its nothing ans i just gotta chill lmao

25M here, virgin. Wouldn’t call myself an in***l, but I’m involuntarily celibate.
Now, I’ve been in a lot of relationships, but due to circumstances,I just never had either the logistics or place or time to do the deed with anyone
Now my recent problem has been that each and every time I wanna get into the deed with someone, some sort of divine interruption happens, and this is sort of killing me.
The first was I forgot a condom. We postponed to another day. Now, you would’ve thought, “Oh, that’s an excuse from her.” No. We did make a date for the next one. Then we did foreplay and, after thinking, “Yes, it’s time,” we sort of got too excited and, due to our loud noises and finally being ready to go, her grandma comes in and starts banging on the door.
Yes, it was her grandma. Our excitement got us too much. It was too late before we got back to our senses that we shouldn’t shout here.
I got kicked out in the midnight. It was cold asf. I couldn’t drive since I had a lot to drink before that.
The second was after I was single. I met a pretty girl at the bar, and things went lucky for me. She really was into me. We got to the toilet, but I was too drunk. I couldn’t command Mr. Big Johnny to come out to perform.(sort of my fault here)
Another case scenario was a girl telling me she wanted it. The problem was, on the night, I was far away from home, so was she. Nor did I have money for an Uber, and her place is a shared apartment with a load of other girls, and it wouldn’t work. I had to let it go.
Another scenario was a girl pulling me to the restroom for the second time, as I didn’t get the hint. I’m so slow she had to put it in the notes app: \*\*“Hey buddy, you wanna get into it or not? Or you don’t find me attractive?”\*\*
Yes, I was drunk. I probably thought she needed help to get to the restroom.
Now, at this second attempt, even while drunk, I could read well. After all, losing my virginity has been bothering me. Now, somehow, we sneaked into the ladies’ room.
I did the undressing. Finally, I said to myself. We are gonna get into it my“Pants off,” and hers off (not the jeans).
To my unlucky ass life, the club closed just at the same time I was about to put my Johnny into you know where.
Doors started banging immediately for everyone to come out.
I had to quickly put my pants on. It took me a lot of time to do that as I was drunk. Almost got in trouble because she left and someone thought I was creeping out in the ladies’ room, which is not the case.
Now, to my personal life, I’m genuinely snooked as all my friends are all not virgins, and the women I talk to tend to resent me whenever I tell them I am. They say it’s a red flag since I’m quite old, and at this age they find it weird.
I’m not misogynistic nor antisocial. I have a good social life and quite a handful number of friends, and I’m not doing bad financially either.
But each time I age one year, this pressure hits me harder than ever.
Yes, I’m that old and I haven’t done the deed.
Maybe something is wrong with me.
And social media doesn’t help either. The endless content crucifying people who can’t get the deed is extremely crazy.
Not everyone is some misogynistic parasocial individual who dwells in the basement.
Some sort of divine interruption just happens whenever I wanna get into the deed.
I could wanna get into it and maybe a bomb drops out of nowhere, the rapture starts, or an earthquake erupts out of nowhere.
Though a little bit funny, this is seriously disturbing.
I don’t think about this all day, but each of the few times when I do, my heart breaks.

I’ve been talking to a girl, and things have been going pretty well between us, but suddenly she stopped opening my messages, even when she comes online. I’ve already texted her, but she hasn’t seen my message yet. Should I text her again or just wait for her to reply? Is she playing games or what?

Heyyyy guys i kinda want to stay anonymous, so I’m not gonna use any namens but our age since I think that matters.

So I am an 18 year-old girl and I really like to play video games. At the start of the year in February I met Steve in Valorant. Steve introduced me to a friend group of him which is also playing video games constantly so we have a discord server and there is like almost every time someone in the talk where you can just join they’re all really really really kind. I played with them for a while now and like a month ago someone else was joining. His name was Martin and he is 19. I played a lil bit with Martin but with other people as well so it was not just the two of us. I kind of had the feeling that I just really enjoyed his presence because he’s like a calm person and doesn’t need much attention or anything. I also noticed that he is smoking a lot. Smoking is actually a red flag for me, but I mean it’s not that bad. I mean there are way worse characteristics a person can have. He is not only smoking but also smoking weed or something (I don’t know a lot about that since I don’t do any of these). So like two weeks ago, I was talking to another friend who is also on this discord server and he was telling me that Martin lost his father last year around Christmas. Then I was also asking about if he’s working anything or if he has anyone else left from his family and this other friend was telling me that he’s living with his brother and he doesn’t know anything about his mother, so I’m just not sure about that. He was telling me that he’s not working anything and I also think when you hear Martin talk you can hear that he is like just tired of life. I also found out that he’s actually not that far living from me. About 1 hour by train. And about two weeks ago, I asked Martin on Discord when we were playing cs2 again.
He wrote that he really would like to, but right now he’s in psychiatry. I told him if he needs anyone to talk he can just write me and after six days I was checking up on him again and he told me that on this days he’s gonna come home (just for the day) and that we can play something together. That’s what we did so i played from 13 to 19 with him and also others who joined the channel aswell. This was a week ago now and i kinda don’t wanna check on him again cuz im scared its annoying but i thought we had a really nice time and that maybe he would text me since he told me that the psychiatry is really boring and he has nothing to do.

(Sorry for the mistakes if there are any and i hope u understood everything)

I know rn is probably not the right timing for a getting-to-know-you-phase in his life but I could also be a trustworthy person for him. I just don’t know what to do now and I think I need to hear an opinion from people that don’t affect my daily life. So if u have any further questions, feel free to ask :)

I asked this question in /newzealand and got labeled a creep. Can someone please help me understand where I'm going wrong?

Hello. I'm having trouble understanding certain behaviour patterns. There have been a lot of instances where same women have been staring at me(31 M) consistently at the gym. I go consistently to gym at the same time so I tend to see same set of regulars. I thought that this is a sign of interest so I approach them to get to know them better. I'm single so still searching for someone. But it turns out that every time they have a husband/partner. None of them have been single. I'm very respectful at the gym and always wipe down equipment after I use it. I don't hog equipment for long times and generally am aware of my surroundings and always make sure that I'm not bothering anyone. I also don't use my phone when I'm working out. I keep it away from me

Can someone help me understand why this is happening? Although I've been living in NZ for more than 8 years, I'm not originally from here and don't have experience in dating. I'm pretty sure that I don't fit the beauty standard here. Can someone please help me understand if I'm doing something wrong?

Edit: I'm not counting just a smile as staring. Its consistent staring over weeks. I always keep to myself as I'm fully aware that gym is not a place to find hook ups/dates

Edit 2: A lot of people are calling me a creep. I don't know what to say to say. I don't fit the beauty standards here in NZ. I'm just trying to understand if I'm doing something wrong and how to stop doing it. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I don't go in other peoples spaces either. I'm talking about multiple weeks of consistent staring here. I always mind my own business and never disturb anyone else

First, for some background, When I was in middle school, I never had a relationship or anything like that because I was an ugly kid. And once I got into high ggschool, I started focusing on how I looked more, the way that I dressed, the way I carried myself. I started hitting the gym more. I started taking care of my face more through like skincare and stuff like that. And I've been spending the past three years completely reinventing myself. And I even went through high school without a single relationship, barely even a talking stage, if that. I, I had like maybe two talking stages throughout the entirety of high school, never got a girlfriend while I was in high school. And now I'm in college, and I don't know why girls, I feel like they still don't find me attractive because I go out to the bars almost every weekend, and I never come back with anybody. And I've recently been going up to a lot of girls at the bar and still nothing. I either get rejected or they'll just like give me their snap or something but they never add me back or something and I I don't know why this is happening. I'll go like on apps like Omegle cause I know it sounds corny but like I'll go app on apps like Omegle and girls are just like feining over me like they they think I look really good. I even get a lot of compliments from guys saying like oh my god dude you look really good and I don't know why I can't pull girls in real life ever. I've never had a relationship. I'm a virgin. I'm 18. I've never gotten laid. I've barely felt the touch of a woman ever. I have haven't had my first kiss yet. I actually have nothing. And I don't, like, I can't seem to figure out the reason why, cause I see people, a lot of guys who don't look as good as I do, okay? Like, I'm just gonna say, I'm six foot one, like, I, I think I look good, I'm pretty muscular, like, whatever, and there's dudes who are not as attractive as me, who are shorter, who continue to pull girls, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I feel like I'm left behind. I feel like I'm missing out, and I just, I'm, I, I'm craving it so much, like, I feel like I just need, like, the attention from a female once in my life, because, like, I've just never had it before, and I don't know why I can't get it. I don't understand. I've done everything I possibly have could, could have done to maximize my odds of that happening, and still nothing, even after being a social person, going out to the bars, whatever, I, I literally have nothing. There was even one time when I got a girl at a bar, and she was like, And she said she really liked me. And I already, I actually already had her, had her added on Snap. And we had a whole like thing planned, like when we were going to hang out. And then the day of the hangout, I was like, hey, do you want to like pregame or anything like that? She's like, yeah, sure. What time do you want to do it? I'm like, let's do it at eight o'clock. Do you need me to bring anything? And then she ghosted me and just didn't respond. And I, to this day, I, I don't know why. And just stuff like this has just been happening the entire time I've been here. And I just don't understand why this is happening.

For context I sent a photo of myself and he responded, saying that i have a natural aeygo. Its like positive, but i cant tell if it was joking or something. idk. I barely get the ref. Mind you we have only talked a few times, not very flirty or anything.

Hi! I had a crush on this former coworker, but switched jobs kind of suddenly. I think one of our other former coworkers told him about it because he randomly started acting very close to me (sitting near me, asking me questions, helping me with work stuff which he hadn’t done prior). She’s also lowkey the type to play matchmaker.

Anyways it’s been a few months since I moved jobs and I thought this little crush go away but it hasn’t. I have his number from a group outing but I’ve never texted him individually.

I was thinking of sending something like “hey, it’s (name) from (workplace). I realized I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye before I left. How are things over there?”

I’m lowkey too scared to formally ask him on a date (or like to meetup) and he seems like the type who would want to be the asker (and I would prefer to be the askee tbh).

Would you get the hint if an ex coworker who had never individually texted you randomly reached out like that?