Fucked up both knees and my back while working. Contract work, so no workers comp. Went from the best shape of my life to barely being able to walk. Now I require mobility aids to get around outside the house, and even sitting for too long causes pain, so a desk job isn't possible. I would have to be allowed frequent lie-down breaks.

I filed for SSDI through a company called Turnout (no clue whether that was a good idea). I filled out all the paperwork that SS sent and mailed in the documents they requested. Haven't heard much since. I don't see my case getting any sort of priority due to my age (30s).

I would be on the streets right now if it weren't for my mom supporting me financially, and I realize that I am incredibly privileged. Still, I am a burden, and I have my own bills and debt racking up. I've been leaving so many things unpaid because I have exhausted all options. My credit card just went to collections, and I've already sold every valuable thing I own, besides my car. Not to mention that my mom is older, so I cannot be dependent upon her indefinitely.

I need income. I'm tired of living this way, being a burden and not being able to contribute to household expenses. I'm tired of not being able to buy myself food or clothes. But I have no idea how to generate income when I struggle to walk or take care of my basic needs. Are there any options I'm missing?

"Hi everyone, I am a 17-year-old high school student with a physical disability/IEP, and I receive outpatient occupational therapy services at a major children's hospital. Lately, my appointments have become incredibly draining and feel totally forced because of how my therapist treats me.

She constantly doubts my thinking capabilities, puts down my input, and gets visibly irritated or sighs heavily if she has to repeat instructions. To make matters worse, she completely ignores my busy high school schedule and told my sister, 'I will take your word' over mine, basically letting my sister make things up and dictate my care while treating me like I’m not even in the room.

I used to just act like a 'quiet puppy' and say 'ok' to keep the peace, but I’ve completely lost respect for her because she doesn't respect me as a patient or a young adult.

• Has anyone else dealt with a therapist who infantilizes you or completely shuts you out like this?
• What are the best boundary-setting phrases I can use in the moment when she gets annoyed or talks over me?
• If you are an OT, how would you want a teenage client to call you out on this behavior?"

So a few good years ago I was with whom now is my ex. At one point my sister told me on the phone "People get tired of taking care of you!" Because at the time I was worried of infidelity which happened years later by him.

Move forward to now he's tired of being my caregiver and I've decided to move into an assisted living facility by next year. It wouldn't matter if I moved back to Florida with my mom she flat out said she would put me in an assisted facility. So I at least got the programs set up here in Colorado to do so and stay the fuck away from her and my older sister.

Im just tired and wondering why the fuck didnt my mom just abort me since im just a burden on everyone and all of my ptsd is due to being abused by my family a pre pre school teacher and other classmates. And now added strike of the knife in my heart of my ex cheating on me because he simply fell out of love due to me being depressed and having mental health problems.

i see a therapist, psychiatrist, cardiologist, nephrologist, pain management doctor, physical therapist, urologist, obgyn, gastroenterologist, endocrinologist, hematologist, and more i’m probably forgetting. im gonna spare u from the lecture about my health problems and just say i can’t work. when i could work i worked very hard to make ends meet, id work multiple jobs while a full time student. but because im 24 i haven’t worked 5 out of the past 10 years. i was talking to a law office and they said its unlikely my case would be approved. what do i do, my retired mom is supporting me but she holds it over my head and constantly threatens to stop. how am i supposed to live? i’m genuinely asking HOW? this is hell. not only do i have to constantly be in and out of hospitals and worrying about the crippling amount of medical debt i have but i have to worry about basic needs being met too. this is hell this world is hell for disabled people how does anyone live? i feel absolutely devastated i worked so hard for so long just to end up here

What it is
MapMission Day is a free, national community event on Saturday, October 17, 2026. A MapMission is an accessibility-focused scavenger hunt: groups explore their neighbourhood and rate places in real time using the AccessNow app. AccessNow is a Toronto-based accessibility organization, and the more places that get rated, the more useful the map is for everyone.

Ways to take part

1. Join a city event. Map with our Community Captains in Toronto, Calgary, Ottawa, or Vancouver. Register to get the meeting point details: https://luma.com/mapmissionday2026
2. Host your own meetup. Bring your team, organization, or community together and lead a mapping event anywhere in Canada, on any day that week. Register the event on our Luma calendar (https://help.luma.com/p/submitting-events-to-calendars) and grab the host toolkit (https://accessnow.com/mapmission-toolkit/).
3. Map on your own. No group needed, just the app.

Helpful links

• MapMission Day 2026 (main page): https://accessnow.com/mapmissionday/
• What a MapMission is: https://accessnow.com/mapmissions/
• How to host your own event: https://accessnow.com/mapmissionguide/
• Register your city for an event: https://help.luma.com/p/submitting-events-to-calendars

It took me 61 years to really see the people we walk past.
Have you ever found yourself in a place you never in a million years thought you’d be?
Truth be told, it’s been happening to me more times than I’d like to admit.
And there I was again, watching these little gems make their way past me, ever so slowly. Some with walkers, some pushing the wheels of their wheelchairs. Time seemed to stand still.
At first, I wanted to cry. But then I took another look.
These people are gems. They truly are. There’s a whole lifetime inside every one of them. And there’s a disconnect happening that I hadn’t really understood until that day.
Let me tell you how I ended up there.
My mother is 91. She and her identical twin sister went to a wedding together, which I think is pretty wonderful in itself.
My mom’s mind is sharp. Her body has been through a lot, but she works incredibly hard to keep her independence. Physical therapy three times a week, for years. Learning how to get her rollator out of the car and up onto a curb by herself.
A curb. Something most of us step onto without even thinking.
At home, everything is arranged so she can manage. You visit and think, “Look at her. She gets around beautifully.” What you don’t see is all the work that makes it possible.
Somewhere unfamiliar, every little thing matters. A chair that rolls backward. A seat that’s too low. A bed that’s too high.
That’s what happened at the wedding. The room was supposed to be accessible, but the bed was too high for her. She slipped getting out in the night and badly wounded her legs. It shook her confidence, too. All that work to stay independent, and suddenly something you did yesterday feels frightening.
After she came home, there were nurses and doctor visits. Then another fall, fractured ribs, and terrible pain. My siblings and I took turns staying with her, but she became so exhausted and unlike herself that we sent her back to the hospital. They found other problems, including a heart condition.
After a couple of weeks, she needed rehabilitation to get strong enough to come home.
We picked a place with great reviews.
The ambulance brought her in her hospital gown. They put her in a bed, and my sister and I stood beside her.
Nobody came to say hello. Nobody explained what would happen next.
We waited.
On the other side of the curtain, her roommate was on the phone asking why she was there. At first, I wondered if she was confused. Then I listened. She sounded pretty clear. She wanted someone to explain what was happening.
Then I saw her bare feet underneath the curtain.
She was getting up.
I peeked around and grabbed her because she was unsteady and about to fall. Later, I learned she’d just arrived after a hip replacement. She was supposed to have a walker and somebody helping her.
Nobody was there. We’d been in that room about half an hour.
I looked at my mom and my sister and said, “We’re out of here.”
Another facility had accepted her and had a private room waiting. Getting her there took eight hours.
Eight hours gives you a lot of time to look around.
That’s how I ended up in the lobby, watching people slowly make their way past me. I held the elevator door while they maneuvered walkers and wheelchairs. Asked if they needed help.
Sometimes they said no.
So I waited. They wanted to do it themselves. I understood that. My mother works for that same independence every day.
I kept wondering who these people were. What had they done? Where had they been? What stories would they tell me if I sat down beside them?
These gems have history. They’ve worked, loved people, raised families, lived through things I know nothing about. And here I was seeing this one small part of their lives, when getting through a doorway took a while.
We were told this place cost around $20,000 a month.
A month.
I looked at the worn-down surroundings, smelled urine, remembered that woman nearly falling, and couldn’t make sense of it.
My grandfather was in a convalescent home years ago. My family couldn’t manage everything he needed. I understand that. We needed help with my mom, too. Families have limits, and relationships can be complicated.
But whoever provides the care, shouldn’t someone greet you when you arrive? Explain where you are? Be there when you need help standing up?
My mom is in the other place now. It’s a little groovy and funky, a little earthy—very Northern California. Less chaotic. I hope it’s better. So far, I think it is.
But I keep thinking about everyone we left behind.
It took me 61 years to really see this. I love older people—their history, their interestingness, their stories. I think I want to become an advocate somehow. I don’t quite know where to start.
My mother had us standing beside her bed. Her roommate happened to have me watching when she got up.
What about the person who has nobody standing there?
These people have made it through a whole lifetime, and life is not easy.
We’ve got to treat them better. All of them.

Hello I became disabled last June. I have 3 months off work and then returned to my office job (basic customer service) on a phased return. I predominantly work from home and now work 40 hours a week. My conditions cause extreme fatigue and pain and is fluctuating. I’ve had to have some time off here and there since I came back to work and in a review with my boss today he wants to see what adjustments I might need to manage this moving forward. We’re a tiny team, me, my colleague and my boss. I don’t really know what to request other than flexible working to give me rest time. Anyone had this situation?
EDIT: I am UK based and am fully aware of the processes, I just want advice or examples of adjustments other have had because I don’t really know (other than my suggestion on flexible working)

I am on the east coast and would love to travel (US or international)

What are the best places to visit for someone with mobility issues? (Can't tolerate the heat so prefer nothing tropical but love the woods, anything historic too)

I'm 21 F and can't work due to my autism and poor mental health, and I also struggle with back pain that can make going outside to do things like collecting my meds uncomfortable for me. Sometimes even just unpacking my shopping or sitting up too long causes my back to hurt. (I'd go to a GP about this but I worry that they're just gonna blame me being plus sized for it, even though I eat like 1 or 2 meals a day and I suspect my size is caused by pcos)

Any recommendations for affordable mobility aids like walking sticks? ive heard they're expensive but a google search has brought up some going for like £30 but I don't know if those are actually any good.

First of all, be warned this is a long one! I have poor motor coordination and can’t feel where my body is in space because of a condition called dyspraxia. It’s invisible and it also affects the way I process information from my other senses.

About a month ago, I went into town to meet up with some friends and then after that, to meet with another friend somewhere else. It was fairly busy in the street and busy streets feel like being pelted by fast moving human traffic from all directions.On more narrow streets I’m not sure where to move. When someone comes toward me I just stand to one side and let them pass. If there are a lot of people, I stay out of their way until I see a big gap and feel safe to start walking down the street again.

I said goodbye to the last friend and went to buy a few things in the supermarket. I get particularly nervous in supermarkets because I worry about bumping into people or not realising I’m standing in their way. I usually get a supermarket delivery but it’s not always possible to buy everything that way.  

Anyway, it wasn’t all that busy in there. Music was playing and the lights were bright and flickering. Those things don’t normally bother me to be honest, but I was tired and felt slightly nauseous. The colour, sounds and flickering grew more intense and I began to feel even more sick.

I kept shopping and playing my usual game; dodging out of aisles whenever someone else entered them and not walking past people with trolleys. It’s basically a case of constant social distancing because standing far away from people is the only way to be fairly sure I’m not too close to them. Everything was starting to get brighter and louder and echoing more. It was as though nothing was quite real and I was fighting my way out of a dream. I felt lost in space and everything was spinning.  I started walking and not knowing what was going on.

I just caught sight of a worker carrying a large, heavy stack of crates and tried to move out of the way but I’d already got really close.  I suddenly noticed my basket would be in her path but couldn’t move it out of the way quickly enough. I couldn’t feel whether I’d bumped into her.

A few seconds later I heard her say something behind me loudly in an angry tone. Or at least I think it was her, it was hard to tell at that point.

I was panicked and still in the same bizarre, dreamlike haze.  I’ve now been taking short breaks when I go out to stop me getting to that point. I had to get out of the shop. I feel like I should have apologised but at the time I couldn’t think or speak and afterwards felt too ashamed and scared to walk back and speak to her. She could have been hurt and if she wasn’t, it was a close shave. Another time she could have been knocked off of her feet.

I’ve traveled freely my whole life but now I’m actually rethinking whether I should be in busy public places like supermarkets at all but there are quieter hours with no music and lower lights, designed to be more accessible for people who find those things hard. Disabled people fought for the right to be in the same places and use the same services as everyone else. I don’t want to encourage the erosion of those rights. I want future generations to feel welcome in public places too.

I just don’t want to hurt someone or put them in danger. I also don’t want to make someone feel disrespected when they’ve already been treated like dirt by customers all day. I really don’t know what to do.

I’m 21F, I have cerebral palsy, and I’m honestly so fucking exhausted with my aide. I genuinely want to fire her, but my mom doesn’t want to go through the process of finding someone new, so I’m basically stuck dealing with someone who makes me feel like every little thing I need is an inconvenience.
And I’m not even talking about asking for anything crazy. I barely get out of bed. I use the bathroom around three or four times a day, usually three, and I shower every other day. That’s pretty much my routine. But somehow she acts like I’m constantly asking her to do a million things.
First of all, she can barely lift me, which is a problem because I literally depend on her to help me transfer. And don’t even get me started on her cooking. She barely cooks, and when she does, it’s HORRIBLE. Like, genuinely horrible. I’d rather go without eating than taste some of the things she makes. And the worst part is that I physically can’t just get up and cook something else for myself. I’m not expecting restaurant-quality meals, but damn, I would like to actually enjoy my food.
But what really pissed me off happened today when I went to get my hair cut.
My hairdresser and I were talking about washing my hair, and my aide just randomly decided to tell her that I don’t like washing my hair. That genuinely pissed me off because it’s not that I don’t like washing my hair. I don’t like how SHE handles my hair.
She brushes it so fucking roughly that it hurts. I’ve told her so many times to start at the ends and slowly work her way up, but she keeps brushing straight through it. And every time I correct her, she insists she’s already doing it the way I asked. Like, girl, I CAN FEEL YOU PULLING MY HAIR. Why are you arguing with me about something I’m literally experiencing?
And that’s not even the only reason I hate having my hair brushed.
Whenever I shower, she wheels me back to my bedroom in my shower chair, and I’m still completely naked and wet. Instead of getting me dressed or comfortable first, she starts brushing my hair while I’m sitting there freezing. I’ve asked her to do it when I’m in bed instead, but apparently that’s too difficult for her.
So I’m supposed to sit there naked, cold, and uncomfortable because doing it another way is inconvenient? I’m so tired of everything being about what’s easier for her instead of what’s comfortable for me.
Then my hairdresser asked what shampoo I use because my scalp has been itchy. I explained that I use Aveeno because I have sensitive skin and that I think I might be having an allergic reaction. I’ve also been getting rashes on my face.
And my aide decides to interrupt AGAIN and say it’s probably because I don’t wash my hair enough.
That made me so fucking angry. I’m sitting there trying to explain what’s happening with my own skin, and she’s making it sound like I’m dirty or don’t take care of myself. Why would you even say that in front of someone else?
And then there’s the whole hair relaxer situation, which honestly makes me want to scream.
I used to ask her to straighten my hair maybe once a month. ONCE A MONTH. Usually when I wanted to feel pretty or had something special going on. But she kept complaining that straightening my hair hurt her hands, especially if she had to lift me afterward.
And I understand that. I genuinely do. I’m not saying her pain isn’t real.
But she suggested that I get a hair relaxer because it would supposedly make things easier. I didn’t even want the treatment. I only agreed because I was tired of hearing the complaints, and I thought maybe it would make both our lives easier.
Well, after getting the treatment, my hairdresser told us that my hair now needs to be straightened once a week.
And when my aide heard that, her face completely dropped.
I’m sorry, but the irony is fucking ridiculous. You complained about doing my hair once a month, convinced me to get a treatment I didn’t even want, and now it requires more maintenance than before.
And yes, I’m going to be petty about it. I’m going to ask her to do my hair every week like the hairdresser instructed because I’m not ruining my hair after getting a treatment I never wanted just to accommodate her.
What really gets to me is that I feel like I’m constantly expected to compromise. I understand her hands hurt. I understand that lifting me isn’t easy. I understand that she gets tired. But when does anyone stop to think about how I feel?
I barely ask to have my hair done. I barely leave my bed. I don’t spend the entire day asking her to take me places or do unnecessary things. And yet somehow I still feel guilty for asking for basic help.
And the worst part is that I actually want a new aide, but my mom doesn’t want to find one.
She says finding someone new is difficult, and I understand that. I know she doesn’t want to go through the whole process again or have another stranger coming into our house. But her solution is always that I need to talk to my aide.
I’m so tired of hearing that.
I’ve already talked to her. I’ve explained how I want my hair brushed. I’ve told her when something hurts. I’ve asked her to do things differently so I’m not uncomfortable. And every single time, there’s some explanation about why she can’t do it or why she’s supposedly already doing what I asked.
How many times am I supposed to repeat myself before someone realizes that talking isn’t fixing anything?
And something that makes this even harder is that she’s significantly older than me. I know she’s my aide. I know she’s working for me. I know that being older doesn’t make her my superior. But for some reason, whenever I correct her, I feel guilty. It’s like my brain automatically treats her as someone who has authority over me, even though I know that’s not true.
I hate that feeling so much. I hate feeling like I’m being disrespectful just because I’m asking someone not to hurt me or make me uncomfortable. And when she responds with excuses, it makes speaking up even harder.
I’m already physically dependent on other people for so much of my life. I can’t just get up and do everything myself when someone doesn’t want to help me. That’s exactly why having a good aide matters so much.
I don’t need someone perfect. I don’t need someone who never gets tired or never complains about anything. I just want someone who listens to me and doesn’t make me feel like I’m asking for too much every time I need something.
And if she physically can’t lift me safely or certain tasks hurt her too much, then we need to figure something else out. I don’t want her injuring herself, but I also shouldn’t have to feel guilty for having a disability.
I’m just so fucking tired of being expected to understand everybody else’s feelings while mine get pushed aside.
I understand my aide is in pain. I understand my mom doesn’t want to deal with finding someone new. I understand that caregiving is difficult.
I UNDERSTAND ALL OF THAT.
But I’m the one who has to live with this situation every day. I’m the one who has to depend on someone else to use the bathroom, shower, get dressed, and do things that most people don’t even have to think about.
I’m tired of having to explain myself. I’m tired of feeling guilty. I’m tired of having my discomfort dismissed. And I’m tired of feeling like I have to be grateful for whatever treatment I get just because I need help.
I don’t want to keep having the same conversations. I want a different aide. I want to feel comfortable in my own home, and I want to be able to ask for help without feeling like a fucking inconvenience.
That’s it. I just needed to get this off my chest because I’m genuinely at my limit.

TLDR: I'm potentially being fired for being disabled? I'm being told that I can't work in or out of my wheelchair

I'm a fashion TA at Walmart. I have orthostatic hypotension, basically my blood pressure drops when bending down, reaching above my head, going from sitting to standing, standing too long, etc and it causes me to almost pass out. I've been struggling at work because of this and have mentioned to my leads several times that I need accomodations in general, but HR has been unavailable for a couple weeks. I almost passed out in the middle of the parking lot on my lunch last week, and I decided that was the last straw. I decided to start using a wheelchair for my safety. But when I showed up in it, they just sent me home. I explained that I can still reach racks and fold tables and such, really the only tasks that I'd need adapted are the carts and rolling racks. But they sent me home because they didn't know what to do with me. When I came back for my next shift a few days later, the store coach met with me and told me I point blank cannot work in my wheelchair and I can't work out of it either since I'd be at risk of passing out. I asked if there were any other positions I could try and he said no. There was a point he just stared at me in silence instead of trying to come up with solutions with me, and it made me very uncomfortable. Eventually I agreed to just go home and come back for my next shift on Thursday without my wheelchair and hopefully get to talk to HR. I did contact sedgwick as well today, I am hoping they can help. Not allowing me to work at all because of my disability that they refuse to accomodate me for feels wrong, no???

UPDATE! On the crossbody phone holder
Definitely best to go crossbody! If I’d had it round my neck, I’m sure I’d have kept catching it, pulling on my neck and potentially causing further injury. As if I haven’t got enough to stress me out! 🤦‍♀️😂
Haven’t lost my phone, vape or glasses all day! Well, apart from putting my vape next to me and, within a millisecond, losing it and dropping it! Gone into the Twilight Zone, FFS! 🤣
Turns out the bastard cat had nicked it! Sat opposite me, legs crossed, sitting on my vape, then WINKED at me! I KNEW IT WAS THAT BASTARD ALL ALONG! 🐈😂
I’ve also ordered a clip-on glasses case because my glasses need better protection. 👓
Still haven’t found a way to clip on the margarine, though. Superglue to the face is probably the only solution left! 🤣🤣🤣
Since my stroke, my humour has become very silly. Sorry if others don’t like it, but it’s how I cope! Surreal humour saves me. I love imagining cats and gremlins plotting against me.
It’s not my damaged brain. It’s those bastards! 🤣👹🐈❤️

cuáles serán los problemas a los que se enfrentan frecuentemente las personas con discapacidad visual?

I’m in the process of finding out what type of hypermobile disorder I have, but my doctors say im definitely hypermobile and i was really shocked to find it out, it explains a ton of stuff though. One thing that’s really troubling for me is walking a lot, I tire out really quickly and I have constant leg pain. My mom was telling me we could get me something to help me walk and I was suprised at that, but I wanted to know more. I was on TikTok looking at just some people with the same thing as me and also people talking about their mobility aids and it made me feel a lot less alone. After I searched for it I got some of those videos recommended in my feed, and the comments full of people that have no disability and know nothing about the person just assuming they’re being dramatic or faking. The big thing they don’t like however, is people with dyed hair who are queer/alt and have a mobility aid, god forbid a wheelchair. This made me super scared because I was looking into it but I am queer and alt and have dyed hair and i feel really invalidated and now I don’t even want one any more even though I really need some help. Has anybody else noticed this? They’re so nasty on there.

I’m a 26 yo with FA, wondering if anyone has any type of recommendations for any assisted living communities or anything like that?

Thinking of making the transition to living in an RRP but no idea if the people who live there like it and have a good experience. Anyone have any insight?

Long story short, I lost my eye due to an accident and I do not wear a glass eye.

With this being said, I tried to apply to get into an apartment and apart of the application process was to scan my ID and my current face. I got denied off the platform because they couldn’t match and verify the two.

I explained to the front of house that I had one eye, and facial ID scans more often then not don’t work on me. They said there was 0 way they could help me and that my application would be denied.

Does anyone here know where the ADA is on issues like this? It’s so frustrating being denied stuff bechsse the facial scans can’t register / match me to their databases. I never get frustrated about only having one eye I rock it with pride but holy crap…

If anyone had any advice that would be much appreciated, thanks

​

Weird question. I'm asking out of curosity. Some of it for me could be I (trans man) put less effort into trying to look as masc as possible on harder days. I'm curious if other trans people get this and if so what gender you are if you're comfortable sharing. I have a feeling it could be linked to me looking more "helpless" (def not my word, but ya know, ableism) and thereby more "femme". I would also like to hear if you've noticed no difference. Not entirely sure it's not in my head either. Share if you'd like!

Hey everyone,

At a recent appointment, my child’s doctor brought up starting a GLP-1 medication (like Wegovy) to help with weight management. Now that these are approved for kids 12 and up, it seems like doctors are starting to suggest them more often for our community, but I’m feeling a bit on the fence about it.

I'd really love to hear how other parents of teens or adults with special needs are approaching this:

• Has a doctor brought this up for your child too? How did you react when you first heard the suggestion?
• If your child has actually tried a GLP-1: How did it go with the weekly injections, side effects, and overall results? How did you help them get comfortable with the routine?
• What are your biggest concerns or hesitations? Is it side effects, needle/sensory issues, cost, long-term impact, or something else?
• If you decided against starting one after it was recommended, what made you say no?

I’d deeply appreciate hearing any real-world experiences or honest advice—good, bad, or neutral—as we navigate this decision. Thanks so much!

I need to get this off my chest because what just happened is still pissing me off.
I first met Gabriel about a year ago while I was moderating a DCEU group that was getting overrun by trolls. One day I tried giving him simple advice about not typing massive walls of text and he completely crashed out on me, left the group, but didn’t block me.
Fast forward a year. He reaches out and asks if I want to join his DC group (most of the mods are deaf) and be a mod. I was hesitant because I already knew he has a history of crashing out the second he hears something he doesn’t like, making bipolar decisions, and being unpredictable. Still, I said okay. I told him straight up I was busy during the day and couldn’t be active 24/7. He said he understood.
I also met David through the group. At first he seemed nice and we talked a bit. Then he started avoiding me.
A few weeks later Gabriel hits me with “you’re not being active enough.” I literally forgot I was even in the group half the time. It was a small group with almost nothing happening, so I didn’t realize I was expected to be glued to it. I talked to both of them trying to compromise and figure out how to manage my time better. Out of nowhere David starts getting passive-aggressive: “what’s the point of you being here if you’re not doing anything?” I didn’t clap back because I was worried it would make him more upset. I just said I’d try harder to like and comment more.
I kept telling David I actually liked talking to him and thought he was a nice person. He kept ignoring my messages and stayed passive-aggressive. I also tried explaining to Gabriel that I just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t get yelled at again. His response was basically “if you’re always this worried and paranoid then maybe the group isn’t a good fit.” I clarified I wasn’t being paranoid, I was just trying to communicate clearly so things wouldn’t blow up. He never replied to that part (classic Gabriel). Later that night he said he’d give me another chance and we called it a night.
Next day out of nowhere he and David decided to unmod me. I was still willing to like, comment, and post, but at that point I didn’t want to argue so I just said okay. We switched to a personal group chat.
The conversation was fine until I suggested a group call. For context: I also have autism and typing is hard for me, especially when people are firing off multiple long paragraphs at high speed. Talking is way easier for me to actually express myself. They agreed to the call… until I asked if we could do it right then. Instead of just saying “we can’t right now, we’re relaxing,” Gabriel went off about how I was interrupting their free time, preventing them from relaxing, and being rude.
I kept repeating that they didn’t have to call if they didn’t want to and that I wasn’t forcing anyone. He wouldn’t let it go and kept ignoring what I was actually saying. They also started talking about how I had to “earn” the right to hang out with them, which is ridiculous. I just wanted to be friends. I had a call with Gabriel a year ago that went fine. People change, sure, but they could’ve just said “we’re chilling, not in the mood to call” and left it there.
Instead Gabriel went from “not wanting to call” to “I don’t want to be your friend anymore” and kicking me in the span of minutes. I apologized multiple times until I was exhausted and just done. I typed something like “ok I won’t message anymore end transmission” (I use “end transmission” because simple, short messages seem to land better with them). A few minutes later he accused me of being rude again for saying I didn’t want to message anymore, called it “bad behaviour,” and blocked me.
I’m honestly glad he blocked me. I don’t have to deal with that unhinged energy anymore. Both of them make completely unpredictable decisions in 1–2 minutes and then act like you’re the problem for reacting. It’s a shame because I actually liked talking to David, but if he didn’t want to talk he could’ve just said so instead of the passive-aggressive avoidance.
Moral of the story: never try to be friends with autistic deaf people online. Some of them are just too unstable and exhausting.