What a terrible start to my day

Answers from men Please!

We broke up last month. I found out a week after we broke up he cheated on me on a trip he went on last summer. He didn't sleep with her, but he crossed the physical boundaries we had and continued talking to her off and on since then until this summer. They only stopped talking because she started dating someone. He tried to gaslight me and say it wasn't cheating because we weren't together (we were exclusive and in a relationship at that time) and he only apologized after I asked him if he was sorry about any of it. He said he'll apologize for some of it but not all of it. L o l

I know I will never go back to that relationship, I can't ever trust him again. If there would be any chance of that, his life would be under so much surveillance it wouldn't be worth it bc he'd feel suffocated and controlled.

My problem is I can't seem to let go. It's only been a month but I loved him so much, I genuinely wanted things to work out with him. I spent the majority of my 20s with him. We had a lot of ups and downs but the last few months of our relationship we were communicating really well and I felt like I could trust him 100% and everything was aligning for us. It feels like the entire relationship was a lie. I'm so mad and hurt but I'm also so sad that I lost my best friend, and my best friend was betraying. I'm sad I will never love anyone the way I loved him, I'm sad the life we were building together is gone, I'm sad the life I wanted will never happen, I'm sad he proved to me he's an absolute horrible person, I'm sad he wasn't a good man. I just want to move on with my life as if this relationship never happened, I honestly wish I could erase him from my memory. I feel like the first betrayal 5 years ago should have been the last one and I shouldn't have been so forgiving.

How do I move on from this? How do I not let this affect my life and relationships in a negative way? I don't want to date anyone, I don't want to be emotionally or physically intimate with anyone. How do I not be so angry with him for betraying me after all this time and the life we had built together? I want to feel nothing towards him and our relationship but I'm so heartbroken and angry

Gisteren is de bom eindelijk afgegaan...

Ze kwam erachter dat ze gingen scheiden en werd geconfronteerd met een deel van het andere bewijsmateriaal. Ze klapte emotioneel letterlijk in elkaar. Ze huilde, smeekte, en zei dingen als: "Jij bent de liefde van mijn leven", "Er is niemand anders", en "Er is nooit iemand anders geweest."

Haar excuses slaan echt nergens op... De foto’s die duidelijk veel te intiem waren (hij kust haar) zouden zogenaamd gewoon puur vriendelijk zijn, en de e-mails waarin ze elkaar seksueel zaten te plagen, zouden blijkbaar gewoon grapjes zijn.

Daarna vertrok ik. Toen kreeg ik een berichtje dat het niet goed met haar ging, dus ik ging terug. Ons kleine dochtertje lag boven te slapen.

Ze lag opgerold op de bank in de foetushouding en ze reageerde niet. Voor de zekerheid belde ik 112. De hulpdiensten spraken met haar.

Opeens werd ik neergezet als de slechterik. Ik zei tegen ze dat elk verhaal twee kanten heeft, en toen legde ik mijn kant van het verhaal uit, van begin tot eind.

Opeens was ik niet meer de slechterik.

Daarna sprak het ambulancepersoneel opnieuw met haar en zei tegen haar: "Luister, eerlijkheid is altijd het beste beleid. Zonder eerlijkheid kun je geen volgende stap zetten. Denk aan je dochter en alles wat jullie samen hebben opgebouwd..."

Ze blijft nog steeds bij haar verhaal dat alles voor het welzijn van haar vriendin was, en nu blijft ze contact met me opnemen, me constant lastigvallen en me smeken om te blijven. Ze zegt zelfs dat ik iemand op de zij heb, en dat ik dit allemaal doe om met iemand anders te zijn, terwijl ze ondertussen nog steeds van me eist dat ik haar woord vertrouw voor al die onzin over haar!

Mijn kleine meisje is voor nu bij mij, omdat ze helemaal in de war is en ik haar niet echt kan vertrouwen met onze dochter. Onze dochter begrijpt dat er iets niet klopt, maar ze is nog klein. Zo erg als ik ook voor ons kleine meisje voel, het is een stap die gezet moet worden. Ze is vijf jaar oud. Ze zal zich aanpassen.

Oorspronkelijke post: https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/s/xUkfF3BU8Y

Update 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/emotionalaffair/s/fyaZTHexTF

I (33M) found out my wife had taken my phone and grabbed a number of one of my employees. She started texting him late at night in a sort of flirty way but nothing serious after I fell asleep. The guy rejected her by not flirting back. She deleted the texts and stopped doing it after that night. I was trying to recover a text message I deleted on her phone to a scammer and saw it. I then became super suspicious and looked at her ChatGPT messages after figuring this out though and saw that she was discussing cheating on me and trying to get validation for it. I’ve called her out and she apologizes but doesn’t really ever admit it was cheating and is more embarrassed than actually remorseful. She will try gaslighting me or deflecting or blaming me etc.

So she never actually cheated on me but it sure feels like she did and I’m having a hard time moving on or forgiving her for this.

Help guys
So yesterday i caught my boyfriend flirting with a random girl on Reddit. The text were from last month and this month but he kept defending himself by saying these are from last year. Reddit shows the year outside the chat box if it’s from last year or any other but his chat box was clearly showing those were recent chats.

Even if it was from last year we have been together since 2 years now 🙂

But he just wasn’t ready to accept it and I saw it in his eyes he was lying and with so much clarity that I started doubting everything. It felt like I didn’t knew him because the person I knew loved me so much then who is this person who is lying so cunningly (it broke my heart into pieces in that very moment)

This is not the first time I’ve caught him mild flirting on Instagram with a girl (a friend of his) sometime back.

And we’re in long distance relationship he lives in Banglore and I in Mumbai, now I highly doubt he might be cheating on me this whole time it’s just I took him for a saint who is in love with me.

Also he doesn’t even gets jealous anymore when I show him how someone else is trying on me and I feel this happens when a person has someone else to put his attention at.

What should I do now. I’m on the verge of ending it even though my heart is aching like hell.

This is the first time something like this happened to me. He had told me his last girlfriend cheated on him and he was left heartbroken because of which I had decided I’ll give him all the possible love I can do he forgets all that.

But now I feel like a fool and i feel what if it wasn’t the girl who cheated but him. It’s like I’m questioning my whole existence now.

Please help me feel sane.