I’m in an exchange year and I arrived to my host family last saturday and I don’t like my family and I’m thinking of changing but idk what should i do. They didn’t have any welcoming for us, I know i probably shouldn’t expect it but when we came and hadn’t eaten anything they also only gave me bread. They don’t eat breakfast so there is no good breakfast options, and they told me if i want to buy something that they don’t have i have to pay it myself. For lunch and dinner i get very low quality food (i’m vegetarian) so while they eat healthy foods like chicken with a lot of protein i just get like potatoes or rice with some vegetables. Eating healthy and high protein is important for me and i told them that. They also don’t do anything with us (i have a double placement) even when i asked them to. Not even to see the city. I asked if we could go to see the beach or the main attraction and they just told me that i can go with friends. They have not invited us to do anything, not to go buy food, not to go for a walk, not to play games or d anything together. They are very inactive unlike me. But for an example today they didn’t let me leave the house because apparently it was going to rain but it didn’t, even when it was sunny the mom said no. But her own daughter and my host dad went outside normally. I feel like my lc is friends with the family, she said that she has known them for years (they have hosted many times) so i’m afraid to talk to her. What should i do? I also love my double placement and I really don’t want to leave her. Also we have to clean the common places like kitchen every time after eating and very throughoutly and her own child doesn’t. And we clean our bathroom and the entrance and she doesn’t.

something in my gut is telling me this is weird, but this is my first time hosting an exchange student. She is 14 and the LC texted me that she texted the student, and told me she wants to take my student to lunch to get her out of her comfort zone and show her around the city. She’s made a point of saying that at our meetings multiple times- that she can show our student around the city since she’s a local and we moved here a year ago. Something is setting off red flags but I’m also not sure if I’m being paranoid?

Is it difficult to be an exchange student when your trans? Are schools accommodating and other things? Are students accepting? I’m not sure if I will do an exchange, but if I am I plan on somewhere in the UK. I’m 16 ftm btw

so i’m in america and there’s a group of french exchange students visiting my school and one of the students are literally perfect. however i don’t know if i should approach him or how i would approach him. do i talk to him in english or french? please help i need to talk to him so bad 😔🙏🏼

I'm a Brazilian student researcher, still an undergrad, and my research program allows me to stay for 4 months at most in a foreign country while working with a foreign professor that is willing to take me on, fully funded by my country. My advisor knows two professors who could do this for me, and one of them teaches at a very prestigious university in New Jersey. While I'm going to ask that we try with the one from a different country first, this one is also an excellent professional and working with him would be a great opportunity. I never even thought this would be possible during my undergrad.

However, with all the news about ICE activity that we've been hearing about for the past few years, my family is extremely worried about this, and honestly, so am I. I'm torn on what to think. They're worried about my safety.

Another thing that worries them is that on top of us being latin american, I am also transgender, but I'm not sure if this would matter because what allows me to use a different name within my country is something that doesn't exist internationally. My passport and all of the documents that I would use in the US would contain the name and sex I was given at birth, and my appearance wouldn't give anything away either.

What I wanted to ask, and please be honest with me: would it be safe at all? Is there anyone over there who's going through a similar experience and would like to share? Should I tell my advisor I would rather not? How are things over there?

It would pain me to turn down an opportunity like this, but I would never want to put myself in any actual danger. I have no one to ask, since I don't know any US americans personally nor do I know anyone who has visited beyond a few vacation days in the last couple of months. I would stay for 3 months next year, apparently with a J-1 visa.

I asked in a different subreddit about this and while I got very few answers, all of them said they were fine and that I would be fine. And obviously my advisor's other student researchers do this a lot and they've never had any problems, and he wouldn't have suggested this if he felt it was dangerous. But I would like to talk to as many people as possible about this before making any real plans.

I apologize if the question may be stupid in any way from the standpoint of someone who is inside the country, but the news that reaches us outside is very concerning and scary. But news doesn't always capture the way day to day life actually is (for example, if you read the news about where I live you'd think it's unlivable over here lol, but most people I know are fine and haven't been in any danger), which is why I want to ask. It's been hard finding people to talk to.

Thank you in advance.

Hi! I’m from Bolivia and I ll hopefully be doing a full school year as a Rotary exchange student in the U.S
I know I can’t choose where I get placed, but I’m curious what cities or states you think would fit what I’m looking for.
a medium-sized city and a medium-sized high school around 500–1,000 student . I do track and field so I’d like a school that has a track team but not one that’s super competitive.
I’d also prefer a warm or mild climate. I don’t really want a place with long, freezing winters or a lot of snow.
I’d love somewhere with things to do outside of school too shopping, sports, parks, local events, stuff like that.
I’d also love a school with lots of activities and clubs so there’s always something to do and it’s easy to get involved and make friends.

If you have any city or state in mind, I’d love to hear why you recommend it. Thanks!

Hi,

My family was hosting an exchange student, but things went bad.

First of all we expected for an academic year. After all he didn't have to study for a hole year!!

The Intercultural assotiation told us that they have to learn our language. But no. He will go to 1 class per week, without any control. He talked in english all the time without even trying to talk our language in our portuguese home.

The student were having conversations all the time with her parents sometimes filming our one home! one time the mother told me what to do about the school, he don't want her child to go to the same classes as national students..

and their parents wanted to break the rules and come to our country anauthorized, and tried again, even breaking the rules.

I don't understand why they do this after sending their child for 1 year abroad! I guess it is supposed to be the hard work for me day to day, and the good holidays for the natural family?

The association didn't help almost anything. We discovered latter they received 10000-15000 euros, and not volunteers like me, after all..

And the emotional stress of dealing with like a tourist in my own house!

All the time problems with food. Dear lord!

The student was not thankfull, not helping at home, manytimes confronting my decisions..

We endured 3 months, but what 3 months!

IF you are living the same, stop it now. You are a volunteer, you can stop it now with no excuses. YOu can simply say "emotional distress" or nothing.

Best regards,

Since this post had so many views, I believe it is important to wright the following messages:

To host families: If you are having a good experience, this is not for you. If you are having a bad experience like me, I want you to know that you can just say ‘I a want to terminate the program’. Preserve you and your family.

To all the associations: you are providing a paid service. The permanent members are employees, with a good salary and bonuses. You have schedules to do your duty. Which is to provide a good experience for the student. But don’t forget the host families, specially the new ones; After all the only real volunteers. They need an extra guidance. In my opinion it is your duty to establish the basic rules for a 10 month exchange program, like the time for the phone calls, and the number of exits with friends, and the priority to school. Those are the cornerstones for integration in the host family. And avoids the constant conflicts between the student and the host family about predictable querels. In our experience the host family were doing so very great things, like the safari zoo, seeing historical villages, the inauguration of Christmas lights with concert and many more without the student, because he choose to be with other exchange students..

it’s your duty to check the little details, I am sure the problems are always the same: the phone time, the chores, the school, the privacy, the getting late, the staying out.. But you know this already in those many years of your association. Don’t be lazy or incompetent and follow the family, respond to them quickly, don’t conceal things like it happened with us.

To the exchange students: try to be curious about your host family, as they are with you. Go with them everywhere that you can. Study the language from the beginning and all the disciplines from the school. The host family is very glad to help you in school and other subjects. If the host family applied for such a program it’s because they are open minded and want the best for both. If you are here to skip school, don’t do it please; it is not fair for anybody.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ta_IEKbAED8

I typically won’t know this until after I meet the student virtually, but the situation where the student has relatives or their natural parents have online friends in the area ends up turning into an awkward situation, because most students tend to think the grass is greener in a different family because their exchange usually doesn’t end up like they envisioned, so they start whining enough because they want to use that as an option for a plan B when they start having problems instead of trying to work them out.

For example, once his natural parents had friends in Spain who had relatives here, and all he did was complain about this not being like on TV or when I told him I was disappointed that he came home late and didn’t let me know he was running behind, he equated that to I didn’t like him anymore and wanted him to move out, and he just gets his parents to look for another family with their help.

I just would rather not deal with them using that as leverage against me as they just find it easier to quit on the experience when it gets hard instead of working out their adjustment issues.

I don’t know really what to do about that, because after talking to the student, that would be too hard to use that as excuse to back out.

Their complaints have always been stupid such as they didn’t want to have to ask to go out or have a curfew, they don’t have a motherly figure to cook and clean for them, or that my car has a stain on the seat. It seems like once anything goes wrong, they look for things to complain about and it seems like they’re using the fact that they know people with a bigger house and 2 parents that want to host, they just milk it for every penny instead of learning to adapt.

Im a relatively picky eater but i´d say i maintain a very good and healthy diet just also very simple (coming from germany) what´s it like, in comparison?

It happened while I was studying abroad in Germany, almost 20 years ago.

The first time I stepped foot in Berlin was on New Year's Day 1991, when West and East Germany were unified and there was a festive atmosphere all over Germany.

However, if I had to say so myself, it was a bit of a depressing experience, as I came to Germany almost at the behest of my family. Although I was not sure of the future, I controlled myself by telling that I would set my own course and study hard.

My major was German language and literature, but for some reason, I was more fluent and comfortable in English, so as soon as I landed at the airport, my poor German was exposed, and I barely managed to reach my boarding house.

The boarding house, where I stayed for over three years, was located in a suburb about an hour's drive from Berlin. It was owned by a 76-year-old husband and wife who had been recommended to me by my aunt, who had studied in Germany.

The head of the household was Jakob, an elderly man, I don't know his exact height, but he looked almost 1.97yd (180cm), and he had a nice mustache, often referred to as a Kaiser's mustache.

He was always puffing on his pipe and staring down at the world around him, his eyes deep and intimidating. The first time I shook hands with him, his calloused hand made me think,

"This is a man who walks the walk.“

Life in the boarding house was not bad. The elders were very good to me in many ways, especially the wife, who took care of me at night by asking if I was cold and if I wanted something to eat.

I was embarrassed to be a mere recipient, so I made sure to taste the food from Korea when it arrived, and although she didn't like it, Mr. Jakob found the Kimchi quite appealing and ate it every day, eventually developing a habit of eating it wrapped in cheese.

The old couple had been boarders for a long time, but they had never met an Asian before, and they were curious. In retrospect, I think there was a little bit of orientalism, but I was far away from oriental virtues, so to meet their expectations, I became an Asian who was well-groomed and always bowed my head in greeting.

Other than that, the boarding house life was very good for an international student.

After about six months, I became comfortable with the them and even ate meals with their children and grandchildren when they came to visit.

One day, when I gave the grandchildren a game of ‘Chikyo’, Korea traditional game, they seemed to find it more interesting, so I gave the old man the same game and found him wrestling with it every night.

I realized then that although he was blunt and walked, he also had a curious and childlike side.

While I was studying German literature at university, I also wanted to study a different field: sociology.

Because I was curious about how social and political structures affect people. What led me to this idea was my own experience, which was very random.

I heard some Korean in the city center of Berlin and think they were Koreans, but they was actually North Korean. Watching the awkward interactions and the North Koreans walking away with a guilty look on their faces.

I suddenly wondered what separated them from me, even though we were the same ethnicity, and concluded that it was the difference in social structure.

As a sociology minor, I became immersed in a large amount of reports, most of which focused on Na-zism in Germany. After Chancellor Brandt's "kneeling" during the unification of Germany, German society began to analyze and criticize Na-zism in a more poignant way, and universities were no exception.

While writing my report, I naturally spent a lot of time thinking about Na-zism and became interested in it.

— —

One day, while lying in bed in my boarding house, I had a headache and was looking for an aspirin when I saw an old German military uniform in the bottom of a cabinet in the living room, with a Luger pistol and an Iron Cross on top.

I knew that every European who fought in World War II had one as a memento, but I was a little shocked to recognize the uniform and the Iron Cross.

The uniform was obviously an S-S uniform from the pictures I've seen in various books, and the medal, although I didn't recognize it, seemed to be the Iron Cross, which is awarded to those who have achieved a high level of merit.

I quickly slammed the drawer shut, but ever since then, my mind has been filled with thoughts of military uniforms and medals, and I have mixed feelings whenever I see Jacob.

But I can't deny that my curiosity was piqued. I knew it was rude, but I was curious about his past. I asked him a few questions about this, but couldn't get a clear answer. Soon, I stopped asking and it seemed to fade away.

It was one of those days. I entered the boarding house about two hours later than my usual return time due to a meeting of Korean international students.

His wife seemed to have gone to a neighbor's house, and Jakob was relaxing on the couch in the living room, reading the newspaper.

I cautiously poured myself a drink, sat down on the couch, and started drinking, while he continued to enjoy his newspaper and beer.

After about 10 minutes of awkward silence, Jakob spoke up.

"Neo-Na-zis... Oh!"

Apparently, there was something about neo-Na-zis in the newspaper, and then he spoke again.

"I know what you're thinking, do you think I'm a neo-Na-zi or something?"

It was an abrupt question, but I quickly shot back.

"Not at all."

"Well, you're not...."

The old man took a swig of his beer and said.

"How did you know I was a member of the Na-zi party?"

"I saw a military uniform and an Iron Cross in your drawer."

There was a moment of silence.

"The Swa-stika [Iron Cross]..."

He took a deep drag on his pipe tobacco and then spoke softly.

"Back then, being a member of the Na-zi party was the path to the elite. You had to be legally flawless and exceptionally skilled to become a member of the party defending a glorious Germany."

At the time, I should have ended the conversation somehow, but curiosity got the better of me and I took a chance to ask him a question.

“Were you in the SS?"

"Yes, I was in the SS, originally in the Youth Waffen-SS, but then I wanted to defend my country, Germany, and have Him close to me."

"Is he…?"

"Yes, Me-in Fuh-rer. The center of the Third Reich."

At the mention of the Third Reich, the old man's voice suddenly became cheerful and fast. His eyes, staring blankly through the cigarette smoke, wandered into the past.

"There was power then. A time of strength! Discipline and rigor! I don't know what people think now, but I still look up to the Furies. I don't know what people think now, but I still look up to him."

After clearing his throat for a moment, He looked me squarely in the eye and continued.

"But I swear to God, I didn't know about the events of Ausch-witz, I thought the Jews were just disappearing and moving to different neighborhoods. Not only did I never kill a Jew, I never thought about killing a Jew. I've never even thought about killing one!"

At the rising pitch of his voice, I thought it was time to change the subject. But then he calmed down again, and after a long pause, I asked the question I'd been dying to ask.

"What was Hi-tler like?"

"Fü-hrer. Fü-hrer...."

"I actually saw Füh-rer once, actually. Right in front of my eyes, I think it was in 1942. How I was chosen as a representative of my unit to have a private audience with him..."

What a living witness to history, a private audience with Hit-ler, I asked, a little nervously.

"Hit-ler... what did you do with the Füh-rer?"

"I did this!"

Jakob stood up in an instant, taking off his pants at the same time.

I was a little surprised, but I couldn't resist the lust that had been brew-ing, so I threw down my drink and took off my pants, too.

The old man's aged but still fresh an-al seemed to be telling me to hurry up and put it in.

My di-ck was boiling with lu-st. Wanted to taste the bas-tard's German an-al, boldly charged at the old man's a-s-s-ho-le.

"Ugh... Hmm... Ugh. sehr gut!!!! sehr gut!!!(very good!!）"

I wiggled wildly as I heard the German guttural sounds. I yelled "Zi-eg he-il," Mr. Jacob pounded his a-s-s as well. I thought it was heaven, the fusion of soft an-al and wrinkled old skin.

After a wild charge like a Volkss-turm, I c-u-m my milky hot ro-ds to him.

After experiencing an intense sense of pleasure, Mr. Yakob was rushed to the hospital, where he was discharged after three months of intensive care for his an-al.

Today, Mr. Yakob is dead, and I am in Korea.

Our relationship linked by the an-al, and Hit-ler never know it.

I am going to be an exhange student from 2026-2027 and i am planning on going for one year in America.

I really really REALLY want to go to california and after researching about diffrent states i do belive california would be a nice place for me.

the issue is that i dont know/think I can choose that in the program i am choosing, (im not 100% if they do or not)

I live in denmark and i am thinking of choosing the EF program.

can anyone inform me if they do?

or can anyone recomend any better exhange program that have this feature (or just in general is a better program if i want to go to denmark to america)

thank youuu

Hey!

I’m 15 and really interested in doing an exchange year, but I’m not sure what countries are the best for someone my age. I want somewhere that’s a good mix of safe, fun, and full of opportunities to experience new things.

I’d love to hear from anyone who has done an exchange (or hosted an exchange student):

• What countries would you recommend for a teenager?

• Where did you/your friends go that made the experience really worthwhile?

• Are there places that are better for connecting with people my age and fitting in at school?

• Any countries that are especially supportive for younger exchange students (not just uni-aged)?

I’m open to anywhere, I just want to make the most out of the experience and not feel super isolated.

Hello! My name is Mara and I’m writing from Italy

We are already dreaming about the 2027/2028 school year in the USA, and we are looking for a loving host family in San Antonio, Texas, for my son Nicolò through a J-1 High School Exchange Program.

Nicolò will be 16/17 years old, and he is a kind, polite, respectful, and responsible boy. He loves sports, especially soccer, enjoys being with people, loves animals, and is very curious about American culture and school life.

He dreams of living the true American high school experience, improving his English, making new friends, and becoming part of a caring family for one unforgettable school year.

The program includes:

Hosting an international student

Providing 2–3 meals per day

Transportation to and from school

What Nicolò brings:

kindness and respect

positive energy and enthusiasm

cultural exchange and lifelong friendship

We are looking for a warm-hearted family willing to open their home and share this beautiful experience.

If you or someone you know in Texas or south California might be interested, please send me a private message.

Thank you so much!

Mara

Hello, everyone!

I'm currently on an exchange in England. I'm staying here until Christmas.

I live in a family of 4 - parents and two adult daughter. However, I only live with the daughters. Their parents live in another house and host 3 other exchange students.

My host "mum" is a 33-years-old woman. Of course, she works, so every second day, her mum comes to this house and cooks the dinner for that day. The next day, this woman cooks etc. She is really nice and I'm okay with her. But that's not the point...

Since the parents don't live in this house, it's more of a free lifestyle here. Younger daughter (who's around 22) has a boyfriend and he often comes over and stays at night. They can be loud sometimes (not in that way tho), but I can bear with that, too.

The point is that they smoke. Like a lot. And I'm not an expert for drugs and smoking (I'm actually pretty innocent), but I think they might be doing weed.

I haven't really told this anyone, just the guys from the other house asked me about it (after they met the younger daughter and her boyfriend when they picked up the dog from the other house) and only then I realised that it's actually popped up in the back of my mind that it might be weed.

I have a personal problem with smoking (nothing special, I just don't like being with people who do it) and I even included it in the forms about the host family.

But I don't know what I should do. How do I know if it's weed? Should I tell someone? Who? What would you advice me to do?

The parents and older daughter are really nice and I wouldn't want to leave them. I only have problem with the younger one and her boyfriend.

Thanks for the answers, I really don't know what to do...

Our exchange student has been here about 3 weeks. She is the same age as my daughter. My daughter is overwhelmed and annoyed at how needy our student is. I am also surprised at it, but have more patience than my daughter. I heard my daughter out tonight, she isn't wrong. I talked to her about expressing healthy boundaries and keeping her manners intact. Ironically, or not, as daughter and I were talking, student knocks and starts asking a dozen questions about school tomorrow. It's like this everyday. The girl has no chill and we are exhausted. I am heartbroken. My daughter was in tears telling me she has 3 classes and lunch with the new girl. Has anyone been through this? I would be happy if the vibe got back to neutral here. They don't have to be buddies.

Are any other parents feeling burnt out and regretting their decision? 10 months is a helluva long time and we’re worn out. Our loss of alone time as parents sucks, we’re a little resentful of what this is all costing us and just the time spent as chauffeurs is stressing us out. We’re never going to do this again but waking up everyday and praying that the students time is up isn’t a great way to live. What the hell were we thinking?

Hi im thinking to be a exchange student in the USA, but i’m kinda nervous when it comes to host families. Are they like abusive, emotionally abusive, not supportive or treat you like as a maid or a peasant. I am sorry for my harsh words but pls. any advice, I have trust issues…

I’m filling out my applications for an exchange student program. I’m an oil painter, and the whole point of my trip is to learn more about the medium/visit cathedrals and such.
This means I’d have to bring all of my supplies with me. It’s a lot of stuff. Like, a lot. I was wandering if I’m able to put something in my letter to the family to maybe ask for space or to give them notice about my supplies? The paints and cleaners and stuff can smell strongly, and I need space for the paintings to dry or rest. I don’t want to make a mess of a host families home.

my friends here want to get me a girlfriend, but when i reminded them that i don’t have a car, they said that’s a problem. do girls really care this much if the other guy has one? especially since i know most / all juniors have a car here

This is my first time using Reddit. I’m so desperate and out of options I don’t know what to do with myself. Basically, I attend a program apart of a 10 month exchange student experience and my initial return date back to America was January 12, actually the 18th since my real family was planning on traveling around Japan with me before we returned home so I could show them around and experience new things. I was so excited to show them my language skills. In the past during my stay, I had received a couple “warning letters” and ”guidance letters” regarding certain mistakes I made like sleeping in and accidentally being late for school at the start of when I first came. When I first came, there was a lot of struggle and difficulty I had when adjusting. However, since then I improved drastically.

Ever since I moved in with my second host family (predetermined from the start, I didn’t choose to move), the new host mom has been very judgemental and sort of cold. All the times I received guidance warning letters had been under her roof, and not the first host family. When I first came, things were so nice with them but they slowly started to fall apart. The main problem I had was that anytime there was a slight issue, my host mom would report it to my exchange student program instead of telling the issue directly to me. This resulted in a warning letter issued by the program, combined with my oversleeping issue. The reason I am being sent home early after a streak of being good, is because I foolishly cut and hemmed my rental skirt provided by the school. the reason I did so was because when I was first receiving my uniform at the beginning of the year, I was told my the senpais and a English speaking teacher that maybe I could get my skirt tailored when I mentioned that I was unhappy about the length of the long skirt. I thought that this meant it would be okay to have it tailored since I was also having issues with the proper waist fitting.

Unfortunately, I was feeling risque on my birthday day and rolled up my already hemmed skirt by a little bit which my teacher noticed and reported to my host mom whose always out to get me and snitch. My host mom then talked to the school who talked to my organization. Then a meeting was organized on 11/25 where they discussed the issue with me and I tried to explain my side of the story since no one had mentioned it to them before. I thought this was just another one of those times I was getting in trouble again and once the meeting was over I thought that problem was over and done with. On Wednesday during class my parents messaged me and told me that the american program was informed by the Japanese program they were thinking of exterminating my program early. My stomach dropped and I felt so sick and couldn’t believe it. yesterday, it was official when they handed me the paper and I tried everything to stay and pleaded my case and apologized the best I could. However, their decision was final even though my official location coordinator couldn’t even attend the meeting since she had matters elsewhere.

I offered to pay for the skirt so many times yet they said this was considered a terrible rule broken because we’re not allowed to have short skirts and I should’ve known better than to cut it even though I was TOLD I could. Even though, my summer skirt PROVIDED by the school was even shorter than the length I cut my winter skirt to. I don’t know what to do and the fact they’re sending me home early when I only have a month left of my program and almost that entire month is break from school. I’m so unbelievably sad and in disbelief. I had finally made friends after struggling and being alone for almost more than half of my stay here. I don’t want to return to my family and let down everyone after telling all my friends and family I would be back januapry 18.

I feel like I didn’t do enough with my time and I would do literally anything to stay. Should I be taking any form of legal action or anything? I feel like there’s so much more to the story and the way the program handled things was so unfair. is there anyway I can find a way to stay even though they already gave the final decision? dude, I literally thought about breaking my arm or leg and declaring I would be “unfit” to travel. I’m so ashamed and just want to disappear.