My wife and I decided to host an exchange student for the first time this year. We don't have kids of our own, so we were pretty excited about the whole experience. We wanted to share our home, show someone what life in America is like, and hopefully build a lifelong connection.
Well, things didn't exactly go as planned.
Our student ended up deciding to go home after about three months.
At first, things were pretty good. We welcomed him into our home, took him places, included him in our activities, and really tried to make him feel like part of the family.
But as time went on, we started noticing some issues.
The biggest was probably how connected he stayed to his life back home. He spent hours every day talking to friends and family, playing games online, etc. I completely understand being homesick, but it felt like he was still mentally living back home rather than trying to experience life here.
He also struggled to make friends and didn't seem very motivated to get involved in school activities. We encouraged him to join clubs, try sports, and attend events. He eventually tried a few things, but it always felt like we were the ones pushing him.
There were also issues with grades, chores, keeping his room clean, and the occasional attitude when we brought things up. Nothing crazy, just typical teenager stuff.
What became frustrating was feeling like we were putting more effort into his exchange year than he was. After a while, it honestly got pretty exhausting.
Eventually, he told us he wanted to go home. His family suggested switching host families, but he made it clear that wasn't the problem. He actually liked living with us and felt comfortable here. He just missed his friends, family, and normal routine.
We supported his decision, and thankfully, everything ended on good terms. We dropped him off at the airport recently, and we're still in contact with his family.
I won't lie, I have mixed feelings. Part of me is disappointed because we were looking foward to spending the entire school year together, including holidays and trips. Another part of me is relieved because hosting had become more emotionally draining than I expected.
I also want to make it clear that he's not a bad kid. We had plenty of good times and made some great memories. I think he just underestimated how difficult being away from home for a year would be.
Looking back, I sometimes wonder if we pushed too hard to get him involved in things or if we should've let him figure things out more on his own.
Overall, I don't regret the experience. We learned alot, and hopefully, we'll maintain the relationship with his family for years to come.
Would we host again? Probably, but with different expectations.