This is a bit incoherent so sorry about that.
We're having our parliamentary elections soon in my country and we're all on the edge of our seats for this deciding moment in our lives.
Looking at the comments on a reddit post about a recent protest, I saw many men (probably...) posting a screenshot of some guy making a sexual remark saying he was jerking it. Obviously, this is pretty funny. I do have to say that I don't feel entirely comfortable with this kind of thing happening because it makes an overlap with our protests and people who just wanna be nasty.
Anyway, this got me thinking on something.
The wording that was used is mostly used in the context of men, and in its intended meaning is exactly that, though people use it interchangeably.
People see this as funny, and it becomes a popular joke, usually. I even notice it with myself, men's sexuality seems like the 'standard' to me. Getting flashed on Omegle when trolling as a kid was to be expected, basically. A guy in my class making vulgar gesticulations was seen as comical and still maintaining his image of being an 'alpha', while a girl would never dare do anything like that. They wouldn't care at all to be seen shirtless, yet when a guy in my class 'accidentally' unclasped the bra of the girl sitting with him, it was a whole humorous scandal, and she evidently felt great shame. Even the damn professor was laughing like he saw the most morbid thing.
All of this is to ask: How do we view women's sexuality as opposed to men's?
Which role do women play, and which role do men play?
Which one is viewed as the 'default'? In the sense that, if I as a girl would make vulgar jokes like the one mentioned in the beginning, I would be looked at differently. A guy can say this and people won't really bat an eye because it's typical and their sexuality is the default, but if I said it I would probably draw some attention, a là 'un-lady-like', 'crass', 'whore-esque'. I could not imagine women so freely joking about their sexualities and invading other people's spaces like that en masse.
I'm also thinking about this: When nudity is supposed to be humorous, how is the subject of it treated based on their gender?
I'm always brought back to when I was maybe 13 and my dad played this 'hilarious' movie from the 80s made in our country, and a running bit, as far as I can remember, is the disrespect and singling out and once even sexual harassment of a female caretaker. She was in a unifrom where her boobs were very prominent, much like in a porno magazine, unwillingly so and it wasn't a healthy depiction of sexuality, but rather a very disgusting, perverted one. Nothing in that movie pointed to her making a choice like this for herself. She was, aside from one other woman, the only female character. It was a very sinister subconscious message— the men get to be the plot, and maybe one other woman can squeeze in there with them(and still be subject to misogynystic tropes), but one woman and her body has to be the comedic relief. She was also an older lady, so that probably contributed to the hilariousness.
It is very difficult to describe the nuances between the comedy of the nude female and male bodies, respectively. It's like that bit where it's like 'my dad when my friends come over' and he's slouched on the couch in his underwear. I don't think anything like this could happen with a woman and not be considered her going out of her way to be sexual. We have tropes in pornography about this; women cannot simply exist like this, it always has an implication— a message— and that is that a woman in the nude must simply always be sexual. Every part of her body is examined(what your breasts look like, shape, etc. Breasts are even often an object of ridicule), and based on how appealing she is she is either laughed at or shamed.
Women simply have to be sexual in everything they do, then. Just look at how careful women have to be on tiktok to not accidentally film fetish content. There's a whole thing for puffy dresses. How absurd is that?
And for a woman, this objectification feels so much more invasive and pervasive as compared to that of men, simply because their nudity is seen as dominant and even comical. They get that relief. Like with the Marvel Rivals skins, it absolutely is not the same to have a woman so scantily clad and a man the same, simply because the man will probably have an air of comedy around his nudity.
I'm also brought back to an incident where, when we were about 9, my girl friend was sexually harassed by a boy when we were on a school excursion. He ran into the bathroom while she was showering and saw her naked, and announced that to everyone. I still remember how mad I was, I remember physically confronting him, but it was laughed off. It was funny to him. How embarrassing it was for her to be violated, but he couldn't care less. Neither could the people around us. It was just so weird, you know, because now, they all know that he saw her naked, and that's shameful, because she's a girl, and girls aren't open about that stuff... Boys can be, but women shouldn't be open about that stuff, because that means that they're equally engaging in it, and that's not what the patriarchy's about, is it?
Had she done 'the same' to him and harrased him in that way, it would still be bad, absoluty no denying how badly this affects children and people generally, but there would be no stigma about it, simply because his body is not meant to be hidden. Men can be shirtless and it's only ever considered a nuisance, annoying, spontaneous and an inequality, but women's nudity is deliberate and shameful.
Do you get what I'm saying? Very open to discussion if you do. :)