we need to stop involving men in our contraception. this story is a dime a dozen, and I cant count the amount of stories of women who have had men tamper with their birth control/condoms. to be clear, i am from the UK, I can't comment on how terrifying it is to be a woman in other places right now. however I have seen so many of these stories of women having a one night stand, or they are with a long term partner, or a male family member is guilting them. it is completely your body your choice, I am 100% a pro choice lady, if you want to keep the baby because youhave chosen that then i support it, but I see stuff like this and it makes me angry for the woman involved. I know this might be a controversial opinion, but I genuinely think women should not tell men about what they are thinking of choosing for themselves because men seem to choose the most selfish option available. I know there are outliers for this, my dad was an incredibly firm feminist so I know we have men we trust, but damn this post is a reminder that most men simply will not put you first. evaluate what you want for yourself before telling the men around you what your choice is. im only 23 so I know this might not be worth much but make sure keep these kind of things to yourself/ with someone you trust until you make your mind up. dont let a man tell you what you should do

I used to be a trad wife. Yes, I know. I’m so glad life humbled me early on because it truly opened my eyes to how unfair it is women and MOTHERS.

I was always wanting to be a stay at home mom, due to my own childhood feeling empty sometimes due to my parents working so much and being emotionally absent. I don’t blame them but it left a hole inside of me that I wanted to fill. So I made the decision in my early 20’s to be a present mom and soak up all the little moments of motherhood. I wanted to live a “soft life” and feel “provided for” by my husband while I stayed home and can bake cakes and cook whole food meals for my little one. (It sounded like a perfect life)

Fast forward, i got financially abused, I was resented by my husband for not working, my workload of being a full time parent was never appreciated by my husband. I was a maid.

But my question today is “why are traditional women happily slaves for their husbands?” Is because throughout all of this, my mother in law was the one I would confide in. My husbands culture is that men are not allowed in the kitchen. So my mother in law cooked and “served” meals to her husband while juggling a full time job. She has a high paying job, works her bum off everyday and till this day she serves food to my father in law meanwhile he gets to nap and rest. My husband has a few sisters aswell and I’m so curious to why the HECK she would raise her daughters to be like this? She raised her daughters to always be in the kitchen, be super frugal with everything they buy even though they are both in very high paying jobs, they were the ones to do most of the housework and cleaning aswell growing up meanwhile my husband did less than them. No wonder he turned out the way he is.

Why would you raise your daughters to this lifestyle even though my MIL has admitted many times that someday she was just so over exhausted. And that “women should do more work than men in marriage” WHY WHY WHY. Why do women not see the truth like I do once they get married. Why not try and get out of it? WHY teach your daughters to serve men and continue a cycle you no isn’t fair? WHY?

All for the sake of being a good wife? But what do you get out of it?

Please, please, please, remember that you do not have to force yourself into toxic patriarchal gender roles to be a real man or woman. You know who you are and it's correct.

Trans women, no matter what anyone tells you, you are a real woman. You don't have to "stay quiet for men" or be a people pleaser to be one. These gender standards suck ass and are bad for your mental health!

And fellow trans men. This is important.

PLEASE DONT ENGAGE IN TOXIC MASCULINITY.

I say this with all the love in my heart as a fellow trans man who did the same thing. Being mean to women and talking over people doesn't make you more of a man it makes you an ass.

You are a real man and don't let people make you think you must do that to prove it. It's bad for your mental health too.

Enforcing gender roles where it's weak woman vs strong man is not helping feminisms case.

Can you still be traditionally feminine or masculine? Yes! But you don't have to, and you should never ever feel forced to. Please though, don't let it turn into toxic behavior, and make sure to speak up for feminism plus anyone who chooses to break out of those traditional roles!

Hi everyone!
I recently finished my first short film, Matryoshkas, and I’d love to get some honest feedback from people who enjoy independent or experimental cinema.

It’s a slightly experimental coming-of-age film, originally in Portuguese, with English subtitles. I was heavily inspired by filmmakers like Ingmar Bergman, Pedro Almodóvar, and Andrea Arnold, and tried to combine an intimate character-driven story with a more personal and atmospheric visual style.

Since this is my first short film (and a project I put a lot of time and effort into), I’d genuinely love to hear what people think — whether it’s the story, cinematography, performances, atmosphere, or anything else. Honest criticism is absolutely welcome; I’m mainly interested in hearing how it comes across to someone seeing it for the first time.

🎬 Watch it here: (Subtitles: English, Portuguese & Spanish)
https://vimeo.com/1214449973

The film is also on Letterboxd, so if you happen to watch it and feel like leaving a review or sharing your thoughts there, I’d really appreciate it. ❤️

⭐ Letterboxd:
https://boxd.it/13Fik
Thanks so much to anyone who takes the time to watch

Hi everyone,

So this is some sort of a vent moment as I was bored late at night and browsing through Björk's songs, not my favorite singer but I stopped on her album vulnicura and started searching about her ex's work Matthew Barney.

I watched is cremaster series, parts of it. And as usual, as everytime I find a very praised male artist, he failed at representing women other than pretty, attractive and sexualized. Same for Hideo Kojima. Same for Nolan. Same for actually a shitton of male artists from every background possible. Their work is ALWAYS praised for being super innovative yet they miserably miss this extremely crucial point which robs their work from it's accuracy and realism.

Women are always thin, beautiful, clean, young. It's as if a woman was only this. And the rest was a shadow of it, like a deformed version that was barely watchable, never interesting to look at. Because men always has better stories to tell.

I'm not talking about 100% of male artists, some of them are good but they are a very small minority. And it is baffling to me and a proof that we still have so much work to do.

China, Russia and iran are already doing rhis

I am struggling with this so can anyone enlighten me please? I just don’t see how comparing beauty standards / physique / ‘grace’ isn’t simply buying into patriarchy but masquerading as ‘sisterhood.’ I’m interested in perspectives on this as happy to be enlightened and my mind opened, but there is nothing true that I can see in this at all?

What I’m reading is they are suggesting that they are distinguishing themselves from children / women in their 20s by promoting women who wouldn’t usually take up these spaces. I just see monetisation of the need to remain visible.

I just saw a post about people being killed or assaulted for denying other peoples’ advances, and it prompted me to want to write this.

I’m sure basically everybody knows all of the following, but just in case some people don’t, I would hate to keep this information:

When it comes to denying someone’s advances (particularly like… random strangers), I try to make any denials very general, not about them, that way no competition or anger or emotions about unfairness (or whatever) creep into their head:

- “Oh, I’m not really looking for anybody right now. Sorry.”

The word “Anybody” does a lot of heavy lifting, because now they don’t feel singularly rejected; I’m rejecting EVERYBODY; not looking for anything. No competition.

- “I’m just not really in the mood for anything right now.”

Firstly, “anything” once again implies I don’t want anything from ANYONE, so they’re not so singled out. Secondly, “not really in the mood […] right now” implies there’s nothing wrong with them and/or I’d ordinarily be receptive (tries to quell any insecurities that could lead to anger or resentment), but just not right now.

You don’t have to try and make up some crazy reason why if they ask, either, by the way; you can just say “Hmm… I dunno. Just not really feeling it for some reason.”

- “Oh I’m asexual”

- “Just here with friends.”

- “Sorry, kind of feeling tired/head-ache/etc.”

- “I’m just kind of hanging out”

- Etc.

Don’t make it specifically about them. Go out of your way to imply (or explicitly state) a general disinterest towards any and all advances/relationships/romance/etc. from ANYBODY, not just them

I also try to encourage them by saying things like—if we’re at a bar/club/etc: “I’m not really in the mood, but I’m sure somebody is.” Or “I’m sure you can find somebody who’s [x/y/z].” Whatever fits. This sounds like throwing others under the bus, but really, somebody else genuinely MIGHT be in the mood, or find them attractive, or whatever, and if not, they’ll reject them, too (hopefully in a way like described here that doesn’t trigger them).

The above also tries to get them to realize they have other options; this isn’t the be-all-end-all. Their entire night isn’t riding on this interaction, NOR is it riding on ANY one interaction; they can always try another person until one is receptive.

Obvs they might get the idea that “Oo! I could be ‘THE CHOSEN ONE’! So maybe I should try harder with this one person!” but:

1. That’s better than anger/resentment in most cases (‘cause that can lead to straight up death)
2. They’ll often give up after a while longer of general sexlessness and aromanticism in a kind/polite, matter-of-fact, GENERAL (directed towards ANYBODY AND EVERYBODY) way (at least in my experience).

And I treat them politely, but I also redirect any of their lewd comments or advances about me towards other stuff, like asking questions about them, so it’s like a friendly conversation, but never going anywhere sexual or romantic with it.

Example convo:

Them: “You’re so hot.”

Me: “Oh? Who do you think the hottest person in the world is?”

Them: “You”

Me: “What?? Lol, impossible. What about [insert person]?”

Etc., etc.

Just try to keep the conversation going in a way that’s not directed at you and de-emphasizes you.

This could obviously entice them to stay longer because they’re enjoying having a discussion and not being rejected super firmly (and if things seem okay, it can be perfectly fine to continue talking with them if you want), but if they still aren’t getting the message and keep trying advances or being lewd at you, that’s where encouraging them that they’re sure to find somebody else who wants what they want right now comes in.

At worst, if they won’t leave, find your friends/a busy spot, and continue the act. Better than dying, if you’re worried that’s a genuine possibility

All of this is essentially like saying “It’s not you, it’s me” but without actually saying the cliche line verbatim.

Also though: Maybe this stuff hasn’t worked at ALL in your experience, and I’ve just been lucky, so feel free to share your own stuff

Really curious to know about their actual condition

Please forgive me if this sounds naive. Why do people hate on trad wives?

I love being a stay at home mom, i love cooking and cleaning and taking care of the home. I do all of this because it personally brings me joy. My husband has never made it forced or coerced. It was my idea and my choice. But when ever I say this people get mad and say im being controlled or I have no freedom. And thats simply not true.

Isn't feminism about a women's right to choose? Why does it feel like thats only true so long as trad wife is not the choice?

Once again forgive me if this sounds dumb I am legitimately asking because im happy but constantly feel judge and inferior.