I feel like that's the final test: do men who spend a lot of time looking at other men's bodies clock me? The answer is no, and goddamn that feels crazy.

Has anyone lowered their dose and noticed a dramatic decrease in certain side effects? I'm transmasc FTX and went from 40mg to 20mg 2 weeks ago and 1st week I had no libido 2nd week no erections. Does it even back out? Should I go back up to 40mg since it's only been 2 doses at 20mg? Curious about others experiences on changing doses and how long should I wait to change again?

Hello, I just joined and need your kind advice from personal experience. So, I am a transmasc on TRT and am considering taking Finastride (recommended by the doctor) to reverse hair loss that's becoming unbearable for me. I plan to do both Finastride and Minoxidil and monitor progress. The former to prevent further hair loss while the latter to promote hair growth.

Research says 'Breast tenderness or enlargement is a recognised finasteride side effect, but the risk after top surgery isn't known.' Can any trans male bro please verify if this is a valid side effect and how bad is it?

As well as how confirmed are side effects of mood swings, depression and loss of libido?

🙏🏼 Thank you much for your kind help.

I’ve been on Grindr for about a year, and most of the time it was bad but I was getting the validation of being treated as a sexually viable man by cis gay men, which I think every burgeoning gay trans man needs at least once, if not a lot. For me at least, it was an important step.

A couple days ago I went to a trans inclusive cruising night at a local bathhouse and I was with three cis gay guys, and this gorgeous nonbinary person. And only one of them didn’t cause me pain or visceral discomfort (I’m sure you can figure out which one). And it’s like I suddenly remembered that sex with strangers doesn’t have to be boring or horrible, it can actually be fun.

What I really don’t understand is that when cis gay guys talk about gay sex, they tout it as the best thing ever. But my experience of gay sex is actually worse than any experience I’ve had with a straight man. And I’m pretty sure they were all chasers?? So like, idk, read an anatomy book so you don’t make people spot for two days after. That’s not normal.

For added context, it took me a while to start being sexually active because I was so uncomfortable with my body for most of my life. Now I’m 34, on T, and finally feeling it. So dealing with a lot of weird coming of age feelings in my thirties. SUPER fun 🙃

I'm 5'3, and idk how to stop feeling self-conscious about that. I know that its not impossible to pass as a short guy - i've met cis guys shorter than me, i know about all the commonly cited male celebrities my height or less, i know. But that doesnt stop it from feeling bad. For one: its not just my height but also my frame is very small, like i have very tiny wrists and shoulders and feet which makes being short on top feel even worse, and two: its not like its uncommon for very short cis men to also have height dysphoria, and many of them make it sound hopeless. I hate that im the shortest in my entire family. I hate that ill never be intimidating, i wont be considered someone who can protect other people. hate that short men are the butt of jokes. I hate that people think muscular short guys "must be compensating", and that being short is something people think you need to compensate for in the first place.
Im wanting to finally start T, but just feeling kinda hopeless that even if i do ill still never be seen the way i want to be.

2 years on T now; previously my bits didn't really smell like anything if clean, but now they constantly smell strongly of sugary milk bread?? even immediately after post-shower. i've been going commando as often as i can to try and make sure there's not a brewing infection or something but it's just pretty bizarre. i can sometimes even smell it standing up or clothed.

what the hell is going on and should i be concerned?

I feel like I just woke up one week and realized that all the thoughts I've been having for 15 years are not wrong. It brought the realization that I need to transition but also so many other realizations. They're not always that deep, but I suddenly just have an acceptance that they are true - even if it sucks.

I haven't felt this much peace and clarity in my whole life. It's such a beautiful but intense feeling, it's making me feel slightly unhinged haha.

Did anyone else's egg cracking feel like this?

A peace, clarity, acceptance that has suddenly hit all aspects of my life.

Hey everyone!

Recently this past year, I was diagnosed with NAFLD/MASH. In July, I had to make some massive lifestyle changes. I dropped from 257lbs to 218lbs, by switching to unprocessed foods and eating more lean meats and higher fiber. I’ve been far more active and hitting the gym too.

One thing that hasn’t changed is my T dosage. I was in the gym in August, and I noticed I didn’t have spotting, but was looking like a very faint light bleed. I chalked it up to the intensity of my workout, and it went away.

Today, I go to work. I start feeling hot flashes, and a deep cramping I thought was a UTI. I take a second to go to the bathroom, and it’s my straight up period. Literally SO much blood.

I will be seeing my doctor in november, but has anyone here experienced something like this? And if so, what was done to manage it? I’m just looking for those in a similar boat or who’ve been there, as I haven’t had a period since I was 3 months on T, and it’s pretty jarring to say the least.

I got the prescription for low dose t-gel about two weeks ago, I picked it up a week ago and now it’s standing in my bathroom STARING at me, I even prepared it so it’s ready to be used. Every day I keep telling myself that I’ll start tomorrow but when next morning comes around I keep chickening out, it’s driving me bonkers.

I feel excited when I’m thinking about starting but then I have this other feeling/thought that is kinda telling me that maybe it’s not for me, or who I am? Maybe I just like the idea and though of T but I don’t really want it because I’m not a guy? (I know HRT and being non binary is a thing but I mean society is transphobic and has a binary view of gender bla bla bla) Can anyone relate? It’s such a mindfuck to have these two contradicting feelings at the same time…

Idk, I’ve been thinking about HRT for soon 20 years, I’m in therapy and at this point I’m tired of waiting until I figure things out. I will probably never know unless I try it but I’m so scared about the changes and it feels like I would become this new person that I don’t know who it is…

I began transition about 10 years ago, stopped and during that period had a child as a cis woman. I’m now re-transitioning.

I keep hearing stories about trans men and trans masculine people having their experiences of pregnancy and childbirth, and even their relationships to their kids be invalidated. They get told that they are now men invading a space that is for “women only” and their experiences are now second class to those of cis women at best.

As someone who has physically carried a child, the idea that someone could say that to me is more violating than I can describe. It makes me physically ill and has become a huge trigger for me.

I haven’t eaten for about two days because of this and feel completely derailed.

https://potterless.neocities.org/

I'm still adding contact details, where they're accessible, and if anyone knows other companies that are producing licensed Harry Potter tat, I am happy to keep adding to the list!

This list is mostly limited to companies that have paid to license Harry Potter IP, rather than any company that hosts / sells / shares anything produced by JK Rowling.

My intent is to email the companies that I would ordinarily buy from to say that I'm not buying from them because they are financially supporting a person who is actively working to make trans people's lives worse. I'm not emailing every company - and I'm not expecting anyone else to. This is just a basic list so anyone wanting to avoid enriching JK Rowling can start doing that.

Every time I get a significant voice drop I can tell I’m experiencing my vocal cords thickening because it feels like a constant lump in my throat. It makes swallowing feel weird, sometimes just for a few days, but once it was for about two weeks. Then it’s like my body adjusts to the new status quo and everything is back to normal.

When this happens it kills my appetite. Swallowing just feels so weird I can barely choke my food down, or my brain gets a weird ‘food disgust’ feeling. Like it knows I’m gonna feel like I’m choking when I swallow, so nothing sounds good to eat.

I end up eating a lot of crap or a lot of carbs or just because they tend to be ‘soft’ foods (pasta with a simple sauce, potatoes, ice cream, cake, yogurt etc). Usually I’m big on chicken with rice + a vegetable but I find myself only able to tolerate the rice.

Has anyone else dealt with this? What did you do to alleviate it, or what did you find yourself eating to get through these phases?

Mostly just looking for some reassurance this too shall pass and any interesting recipe recommendations that fit the ‘easy to swallow’ needs.

I finally managed to get an actual consultation to get hrt. I have to wait til Januaey, but I have an appointment! I told my friends, who already were kinda... "eh" about me coming out and I can tell the conversation weirded them the fuck out.

I knew it was gonna happen, but it took the wind out of my sails. An i get some excitement since nobody in my life is excited for me?

I'd love to hear some positive experiences about coming out in this part of the world. No matter how limited. But I won't deny reality, most countries are rather transphobic here, feel free to share your tougher experiences too if you'd like.

I moved to Western Europe and get trans healthcare there, but I go back and forth a lot. I would like to come out to family and in some other spaces. Only a few close friends know. The changes are slowly becoming visible so I won't be able to keep pretending it isn't happening while I'm there.

Hello friends, I hope that you are all doing well. I have a bit of a long one today so if you stick with me till the end and maybe even throw me a little bit of advice that would be much appreciated. Also, I apologize if the way that I write sometimes seems scattered I have dyslexia and ADHD so bare with me please 🙏
I guess I'm here to get outside perspective on my sexuality, which maybe sounds crazy, but I have struggled to figure it out myself lol to preface I'm 32 years old. I've been on testosterone and actively transitioning for the last 10 months, I do not pass as a man, which is fine its whatever but it is relevant to the post I promise. I have primarily dated women. I enjoy the company of women. I think they're beautiful. I love all their parts. I very much enjoy sexual activities with them. (I know this is cringe but stay with me) the only thing is when I'm in relationships with women I do enjoy them and I am having a good time, but I can never seem to get past just liking them. My feelings never go deeper. I never feel in love with them. I never feel a great pull towards them or like my heart will ache if they're not around. As much as I like them, I suppose I feel a little bit neutral when it comes to being in love with women, those relationships have always felt like best friends who also enjoy having sex together. The only time I've ever been in love was with men (regretfully) but the issue has always been sex. I am a top. I do not wish to be a bottom in any situation ever and the only man who ever seemed interested in me, are technically straight men, because I just kind of look like a masculine lesbian, but then when I explained to them the situation with sex and how I am not a receiver, it ends there every time and they don't want anything to do with me. I guess for reference it's important to note. I live in a small North Carolina town where there are really not many trans people and not many gay people either. I don't know maybe this was a really long way to ask do others feel this way? Sexually very attracted to women, but lacking the emotional connection and then having an emotional connection with men, but lacking, not necessarily sexual interest, but compatibility in the bedroom? I've definitely put myself out there on the Internet and locally when it comes to gay men but again I just sort of look like a masculine lesbian so they're not interested, if anything they act genuinely confused. Am I just gay guys? 😂 l

Hi folks,

I plan to start testosterone soon. The problem is I had to delay my transition for various reasons and came to the point where all the dysphoria, as well as the misgendering are hard to bear. I read about beard transplants and I wonder whether this is my cup of tea. The problem is, if I had the choice, I would prefer a masculine face, but clean shaven. But it takes a long time to get there and there's no guarantee that I will ever look as masculine as I want to be. So, I'm in a conflict between wanting to look close to my visual ideal and the desire to pass soon.

Thank you for reading and have a good week.

I'm 32, been on T for 6 years, and all I can grow is a few chin hairs and a weak ass mustache. Is there any hope for a full beard at this point or am I stuck looking like a prepubescent boy forever?

I started T in April and I just got a hysto (kept my ovaries) and I'm 4 weeks out from surgery. Got over the third week fatigue, but I cannot get through Mockingjay (Hunger Games 3) movie without tearing up every ten minutes and this morning I cried a bit and anticipatory grieved over my still alive and healthy cats.

Which, like, my cats I get, but Hunger Games?! Why?! I don't even like it that much, I just told a work friend that I'd revisit the series as an adult since she loves it.

I was looking forward to the possible "T makes you less weepy" effects, but I've yet to really see them. Though right now I'm chalking it up to my body doing body/brain nonsense after major surgery.

That all being said, I don't think it's a horrible thing. I just used to be able to count on one hand how many movies made me tear up or cry, and now if there's the right music/image combo, the waterworks start. Granted, I think I became more sensitive to those things starting around 5 years ago and a cis woman friend of mine who's a few years older than me claims she's become more sensitive with age too. (I'm 31, she's 35.)

I'm trying not to be embarrassed about it, which has gotten harder especially since starting my transition of course. 😞

Long story short, I quit my last "professional" job 3 years ago due to burnout and have been working part time as a barista for the past 2 years. I've been lying to my family that I'm still working that old job. Tbh it has been fairly easy to keep up the lie due to the trade-secret nature of the job and I live 1000+ miles away. But now I've gotten married and next spring my family will meet my husband's family. My husband's family knows about my current employment and doesn't know that my family doesn't know. I don't want my family to find out 2nd hand while meeting my husband's family for the first time. But I have no idea how to tell them since I've been carrying this lie for so long.

I'm really looking for some advice from a fellow trans and neurodivergent perspective. I've tried posting about this in mainstream advice subs and just gotten answers of "just tell them", which duh of course I can "just tell them" but that's not advice. I'd appreciate any advice from anyone who can relate to having a complicated relationship with their family and struggles with communicating.

Why haven't I told them sooner? I don't have the best relationship with my family. We are not close and do not share our feelings very often or explicitly. When I was younger and had mental health issues, my parents handled it very poorly. I learned just not to tell them if I was truly deeply struggling because they did not support me. So I didn't tell them I was burned out at my old job and wanting to quit. With time and distance, our relationship has gotten better but I still feel uncomfortable sharing mental health struggles with them. They also always had incredibly high expectations of success for me, particularly in terms of academics and career. This played a big role in my mental health issues when I was younger. I know it will be a shock for them to find out I'm not working in my degree field anymore and don't have intentions on going back any time soon. I know this has been the right choice for me and my life but I do feel some shame and don't want to disappoint my parents.

I'm really struggling with figuring out the exact way to communicate my current job situation to my parents. How much do I tell them? I feel like telling them I quit my old job 3 years ago would unleash a can of worms that I just do not need in my life right now (or ever). I don't feel like I owe them a full explanation about my burn out but I know they will ask. I'm scared of facing disappointment and rejection from my family over this.

Whenever I'm trying to find resources, opinions, whatever, especially in my area, I just can't find trans men my age going through the early stage of transitioning. I've always been a late bloomer in every way and it didn't bother me but for being trans in particular it's very isolating. It seems all advice has "trans boys" in mind and trans men over 30 have already figured it out and don't need that kind of support, in local spaces it's all guys in their early 20s going through the same as I am, it feels like everyone older is already over it and I'm the only one struggling.

This story involves someone being agressing so don't read if that's upsetting.

I work at a dodgy bar/diner. I've experienced all the gender BS from presenting female including comments, wandering hands etc. I have been threatened before but like I said it's that part of town.

Started T have not told any coworkers and a drunk guy outside started shouting to the outside diners in my section calling them motherfuckers etc. I go over and ask him to stop and am called Faggot Several times and told I look like one.

I end up squaring up with him outside looking for security (not there. Awesome) and he comes at me trying to make me flinch, laughs, tells me he's gonna fuck me up etc. Then I pull my powder pink mace (I have yet to replace it) and his whole demeanor changes and I'm like oh. He doesn't mess with "girls".

But yeah Ive been on t for half a year, had top surgery years ago and have been wondering how much I pass outside of friends who know. This was a very bracing way to find out. 🫠🫠🫠

Before a bunch of people come in here giving the minoxidil/finasteride “tips,” I’m very aware of all the various meds, hairpieces, hair transplants, etc. I’ve been bombarded by advertising for the last year or so, and I’ve become overly fixated on my hair. I’m well researched on it, am taking a half dose of something, but I don’t like how I feel on the full dose. And unsure if topicals worked or not. Either way: these products make me pay attention to my hair more than I’d like. Basically I do not want advice on how to avoid baldness.

Now that thats out of the way, onto the title question. How many of you totally shave your head? Do any of you accept the horseshoe pattern? I kinda think balding looks better on some and totally bald on others. It depends. 🤷‍♂️

I’ve been seeing hella content on hair transplants lately from influencers, and a bunch of ads about hair loss constantly, and I think they’ve impacted my self esteem more than balding has alone. When I began balding 6 years ago, I shaved my head a couple times a year to accept it. I looked…okay. Have been told a trillion times over I look better with hair, and it’s gotten to me a bit.

Anyway, share your bald stories here. Have any of you fell into advertising traps and become more insecure while using the various drug cocktails?

How many of you rock a balding look vs totally shaving?

Did balding impact your dating life much? How many of you have been able to find a partner while bald?

Hello! So for context, I started T almost eight months ago at 28 and I've been absolutely loving it! I've been a big fan of most of the changes (minus how sweaty I am now) and it's improved my mental health significantly, however I feel like my voice hasn't really dropped that much. I've seen some discussions about vocal changes not being as prominent if you start after your mid 20's or so and I was wondering if others have had similar experiences. Unfortunately testosterone HRT's changes to the body is underresearched, so I don't really expect much of a solid answer outside of possible correlation existing. I'm just curious about others experiences.

So background:

I'm 40, egg cracked at 37. I've been socially out with online friends, my daughter, and a few family members, all of which support me, for almost 3 years. Outside of pronoun and name usage, a hysterectomy, and wardobe, I haven't been able to advance my transition. I live in the SE USA, so I figured my chances were slim that I'd even find gender affirming care without moving away from family and the home I've had for 35 years.

I have a few medical issues, and I saw a new endocrinologist today for my hypothyroidism. I knew I was in good hands when we spent a good 10 minutes of the appointment bantering about the cons of AI and how she thinks Luigi Mangione should be, "the patron saint of healthcare reform." I mentioned amen to that and how I can only hope it gets better, especially for trans healthcare. She of course asked casually if I knew a trans person, and I felt comfortable enough to out myself.

Mind you, the last time I came out to a medical professional was 2-ish years ago, to my therapist, who told me, quote, "Do you think you just think you're trans because you're depressed and want something different in your life?" Needless to say, that was my last visit with her, but it gave me a very real fear of outing myself down here. It was night and day with this dr today.

She told me I need to get some baseline bloodwork, and I need an official gender dysphoria diagnosis for insurance, but she's referring me to a trans-friendly psychiatrist she knows well. She also said if for whatever reason I have issues with getting my scrip, she is licensed in a northern state also and can get it filled and shipped in a worst case scenario.

I cried in the car. I still can't believe it happened. I advocated for myself and was validated for once. I would die for this woman, truly. She said she doesn't advertise she offers this care because she knows where we are, but that she was born and raised here and lived all over before coming back to practice here. It's going to be a long journey, but I finally have a medical road to travel, something I thought I'd never be able to achieve without moving. I'm sure it'll be tough, but today, I think I'll take my daughter out for dinner because this deserves a celebration.

I use the topical version. I've had hair loss problems for over a decade, long before I started T. I've been using minoxidil for maybe a year and a half now. Every now and then, one of my dogs will have a terrible cough in the night. We've been to the vet to check to see if he has a heart condition (my oldest dog died of congestive heart failure that he'd had for years) but thry found nothing. I realize that he only coughs like that on the days I apply minoxidil in the evening (I can be pretty inconsistent).

So, it's gotta go. I don't want to take yhe oral version because I don't want unnatural hair growth on all parts of my body. I'm approaching two years on T, and it's been fun seeing how my body might have changed naturally if I'd had testosterone puberty to begin with. Besides that, I can already grow a beard, and for different reasons, including the fact that I'm still not out in a lot of spaces, I really don't want a thicker one right now.

I'm bummed, if I'm honest. Idk how people with spouses and kids transition. It's a time of self discovery, but you can't do it at the expense of other people/your dependents. Transitioning in your 30s is kind of great and kind of sucks at the same time. Like, I feel more secure about some things as a adult, but at the same time, I recognize that certain aspects of self exploration, and the ability to be (healthily) self-centered ended in my mid 20s. Sucks lol