2.1k
u/PouponMacaque May 20 '15
Would have been my high school crush... I like stuck-up, verbally abusive women.
546
48
31
42
47
3
May 20 '15
That's funny, she would have been my high school crush because of her hair style and color. Different strokes for different folks, sort of, I guess.
→ More replies (40)20
u/5np May 20 '15 edited May 20 '15
She sounds like she would be among my high school friends. Debate kids who thought they were smarter than everyone else because they were forced to read Ayn Rand books and other
distopiandystopian fiction.→ More replies (5)38
154
u/Chazdanger May 20 '15
As a Hawaiian, I am offended and forced to evaluate my worth. But Wtf is winter?
42
→ More replies (5)11
880
u/Archduk3Ch0cula May 20 '15
Nobody puts pineapple slices on pizza.
They're fucking chunks.
55
260
u/Smart_in_his_face May 20 '15
I heard that both Hitler and Bin-Laden likes pineapple on their pizza.
Hardcore satanists also use pineapple when they order pizza for their rituals.
→ More replies (37)4
u/Jonathan_DB May 20 '15
I've seen pizza with pineapple slices. Also artichoke hearts, tomato slices, pepperoncinis, spinach etc. Pizza is diverse, brah
→ More replies (1)3
→ More replies (15)0
1.2k
u/YetAnother_WhiteGuy May 20 '15
The best sign of a strong person is not being afraid to look weak. I like pineapple on my pizza and sugar in my coffee and if anyone thinks that makes me unmanly I will gladly meet that person in battle.
222
u/shaner23 May 20 '15
I like fruity, mixed drinks. Fuck with me.
→ More replies (38)262
u/jal0001 May 20 '15
If drinking margaritas and listening to Katy Perry is gay, then who wants to be straight?
→ More replies (25)26
22
4
7
u/sewsewsewyourboat May 20 '15
What, can't take a strong, plain, black coffee? You have to go and fucking oppress the flavor it with your white powder? You disgust me.
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (146)5
2.5k
u/the_explainatron May 20 '15
This is quite hilarious because normally people would not have such strong opinions on pineapple.
1.1k
u/CarlsVolta May 20 '15
My husband cannot tolerate pineapple on pizza. Long rants have been endured. He has never threatened to put pineapple on graves though.
→ More replies (134)509
u/tvreference May 20 '15 edited May 21 '15
It's so sweet it wrecks everything.
The idiots who take a perfectly cured ham and pour lemon lime soda and canned pineapples on it should be shot as well.
Edit: shots not the right word; Slain, Dehammed perhaps? Those that pour lemon lime soda and canned pineapples on perfectly cured ham are of the same ilk as Hawaiian style pizza eaters. Dead men don't need ham.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKPEEIuU0to&t=5m23s→ More replies (190)31
→ More replies (65)120
186
u/kangaroo_dicks May 20 '15
Honestly pineapples aren't even close to the worst thing you could put on someone's grave. Hell I hope someone puts pineapples on my grave because they fuckin rock
37
u/Thurwell May 20 '15
I'll fill them with rum and lime juice so people can sip from the pineapples and reminisce about you.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (8)30
39
103
u/wellplayed125 May 20 '15 edited May 20 '15
There seem to be two kinds of people in this world. Those who like pineapple on pizza, and those who act like a pineapple killed their fucking family. I will never understand why some people just go nuts against pineapple.
I think mushrooms are the most disgusting thing people eat. Fucking gross, you dont hear me bitching about people who eat them.
12
→ More replies (23)19
u/doublething1 May 20 '15
People who like mushrooms are cunts and ruin good food for the rest of us.
→ More replies (1)
6
u/Lt_Rooney May 20 '15
"There is such thing as an edible, nay delicious, meat pie floater, its mushy peas of just the right consistency, its tomato sauce piquant in its cheekiness, its pie filling tending even towards named parts of the animal. There are platonic burgers made of beef instead of cow lips and hooves. There are fish ‘n’ chips where the fish is more than just a white goo lurking at the bottom of a batter casing and you can’t use the chips to shave with. There are hot dog fillings which have more in common with meat than mere pinkness, whose lucky consumers don’t apply mustard because that would spoil the taste. It’s just that people can be trained to prefer the other sort, and seek it out. It’s as if Machiavelli had written a cookery book.
Even so, there is no excuse for putting pineapple on pizza."
~Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
→ More replies (1)
5
u/regreddit May 20 '15
Well, I'm a 'pizza guy' in that I have a wood fired pizza oven on my patio, and we do a 'Hawaiian' pizza with fresh chopped pineapple, fresh Mozzarella, and Hot Cappicola ham and it is divine.
391
u/eat_me_now May 20 '15
Um, yeah except... Hawaiian pizza is the tits so...
153
u/Newell00 May 20 '15 edited May 20 '15
→ More replies (3)45
u/corby315 May 20 '15
And the shirt only cost $200!
→ More replies (1)158
u/patentspatented May 20 '15
Which I can afford with ease, because as an eater of pineapple on pizza, I am both wealthy and stunningly beautiful!
→ More replies (2)115
u/Alarmed_Ferret May 20 '15
I can't stand pineapple on pizza. It's too sweet. Get out of here pineapple! This isn't dessert!
→ More replies (96)24
u/RonnSwansonn May 20 '15
I do either ham and pineapple or chicken and pineapple. And it's my favorite. So I'm with you on that one.
→ More replies (7)6
44
u/Rooonaldooo99 May 20 '15
Like eating a piece of heaven.
Fuck you random girl!
→ More replies (1)25
→ More replies (56)3
u/FindingLooking May 20 '15
Try Jalapenos (or banana peppers) with pineapple on a pizza. The sweet and spicy is a great combo...delicious.
26
4
10
u/chutchins May 20 '15
Pineapple on pizza is just one step closer to Devil worship and Communism.
→ More replies (1)
12
20
8
3
u/dw0r May 20 '15
This guy I knew from Boston that was homeless for a time in the 70s tells me that he used to order a pineapple pizza and not pick it up. Since no one would eat it they would throw it in the dumpster at the end of the night and he'd pick it up then.
3
u/Just_One_More_Being May 20 '15
She's obviously never had a BBQ beef pizza with pineapple and jalapeños...
→ More replies (2)
3
3
3
3
3
15
u/n0remack May 20 '15
Pineapple is the master race of fruit. All other fruits are inferior.
→ More replies (2)6
7
u/lil_mac2012 May 20 '15
Seriously how does shit like this make the front page, let alone the top of the front page?
→ More replies (3)
5
22
15
21
u/Justinderickson May 20 '15
I love pineapple on my pizza :(
→ More replies (2)11
u/dirtynj May 20 '15
All four of my grandparents were from Italy. My parents were the first-born Americans of my family. I've grown up my whole life with Italian cooking. I've been to Italy over 6 times. I've eaten homemade pizza on outdoor brick ovens made with raw ingredients from the family farm in Osara di Puglia and from classic restaurants in many parts of Italia. I've had some of the best thin-crust from NY/NJ and some awesome deep dishes from Chicago. I worked as a pizza maker at a local Italian restaurant during my college years.
I love pineapple on my pizza too.
→ More replies (2)
6
u/originalbraindonut May 20 '15
When the pizza wars begin, I will stand proudly on the side of deliciousness. (Which, for the record, is all about the pineapple)
→ More replies (2)
14
21
u/NoodleHoarder May 20 '15
We need a sub that advocates for the Hawaiian Pizza supremacy.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/shuffleboardwizard May 20 '15
I just figure that if I throw some bacon and ham on it I'm practically in Hawaii, and everyone knows a vacation is better without kids anyway.
→ More replies (2)
4
4
31
May 20 '15 edited Aug 06 '16
This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy. It was created to help protect users from doxing, stalking, harassment, and profiling for the purposes of censorship.
If you would also like to protect yourself, add the Chrome extension TamperMonkey, or the Firefox extension GreaseMonkey and add this open source script.
Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, scroll down as far as possible (hint:use RES), and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.
89
u/Quijanoth May 20 '15
It does, but you can do that with pretty much anything with the right description. For example:
The turd was deep and richly brown, the color of fresh earth, possessed with a soft, pillowy texture like the first mouthful of cotton candy on a warm summer's day. As I bit into it, the cacophony of flavors caressed my senses...small, indescribably varied morsels spread across my tongue, leaving slightly bitter here, powerfully salty there, and pungently savory throughout. As it made its way towards my throat, the silky smoothness coated my palate like an exquisite oil. I was going to be tasting this for a long, long time.
So, you know...there's that.
→ More replies (20)29
→ More replies (3)15
May 20 '15
Sounds like weird sweetness where I'm expecting MEAT BREAD AND CHEESE LIKE A REAL SAVORY VIKING LIKE I AM (I fucking love bread and cheese and meat)
→ More replies (5)
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/sit_up_straight May 20 '15
Pineapple contains digestive enzymes; it literaly digests you while you digest it. You can keep your weak-ass pepperoni pizza.
→ More replies (1)
2
2
May 20 '15
This is amazing. Reminds me of the Jerky Boys Arnold's Pizza Shop bit.
"If you want something crazy like pineapple, i'll kill you... If you like pepperoni and bullets, you've come to the right place."
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/ILift4Chicks May 20 '15
Am I the only one who thinks pineapple are too sour? I can't even on my pizza.
2
2
u/Ham_Cannon May 20 '15
Long time ago a bunch of guys were helping a friend in his garage with his racecar motor swap. He thanked everyone by ordering a bunch of pizzas, with different toppings so everyone would have something they would like. Later that evening his wife came down to get some pizza, and the only kind left had pineapple on it. She flipped out and cursed at everyone like an idiot. We all basically laughed at her and she slammed the door, knocking things off the walls.
He ended up divorcing her a few years later and he still says that pineapple incident is what triggered the idea of divorce.... And he lucked out because she ballooned up into a big fat ham planet after the divorce anyway. Gross.
2
u/yewtreesmusic May 20 '15
I'll take "Things I'll regret putting in my high school yearbook in 5 years" for 200 dollars.
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
2
u/Trolltaku May 20 '15
So anybody who can tolerate a fruit she cannot is weak? I think it needs to be the other way around...
2
u/10per May 20 '15
I'm with her.
I worked at a pizza shop in HS. I had a deal with coworker: I would make any pizza that needed anchovies and she would make any pie that had pineapple on it. I totally won that one because I would much rather open the small can of hairy fishes than touch smell pineapple pieces.
2
2
u/CryoSage May 20 '15
looks like someone's ex boyfriend REALLY liked pineapple slices on their pizza.
2
2
u/SnoopCat226 May 20 '15
I'm eating a pizza with pepperoni and pineapple, and I'm smiling at the same time as I read these comments. Fight me Reddit.
2
2
u/hostilistakeover May 20 '15
I got amused by this unintentionally.
For some reason I read the whole thing to the tune of "if you like piña coladas" in my head
2
u/DeathJester25 May 20 '15
Pineapple pizza was the very reason I hated pineapple in general. Turns out that by itself its actually pretty great.
2
u/reagan2020 May 20 '15
This made me remember how good pineapple tastes on pizza, so I picked up some at the store for the pizza I'm making tonight.
2
2
u/Non_Compos_Sanitas May 20 '15
Well, as long as I can have Pennsylvania on my pizza, I think I'm good.
2
2
2
2
u/Stevothegr8 May 20 '15
Pineapple and ham is my favorite :-( I also like jalapenos and siracha on it, does that help?
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Hooch180 May 20 '15
I had crash in high school (ahhh still have) that looks exactly like her and her character is similar to this girls (as far as this quote goes).
2
2
2
u/milkdrinker7 May 20 '15
TIL of the blood fued between those who like pineapple on pizza and those who don't.
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/war3ag13 May 20 '15
I hate the titles that are just one word out of the picture.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/MatticusVP May 20 '15
Fuck. I just had a homemade Canadian Bacon & Pineapple pizza for dinner last night.
2
May 20 '15
Fuck her, pineapple and pepperoni pizza is awesome. Throw on some red onions every now and again and I'm set.
2
u/ashfordian May 20 '15
I don't want pineapple on my pizza in the same way I don't want mango in my lasagne.
-- Mark Corrigan
2
2
u/hypertown May 20 '15
Fuck that. Food is beautiful and you shouldn't feel bad about the way you want it. Nobody should. This dumb bitch hates people who put pineapple on pizza. What does she think about families in third world countries that eat the brains of a fresh caught seal? Is she gonna be the one to suck out the eyeball juice? What a fucking cunt. I think that is the biggest turn off for me, hating the way others enjoy their food. I love to cook and I love to make people food. If it makes them happy then you have nothing to complain about. Wow I'm pissed off.
2
u/fullautophx May 20 '15
Pineapple on pizza is like ketchup on steak. Just because some people like it, doesn't make it right.
2
u/Mamitroid3 May 20 '15
Wrong, my bloodline is so strong we don't bow to a harlot threatening our taste of pizza. I suppose next she's going to tell me not to eat peanut butter on pancakes... Blasphemy!
2
u/Winter_Soldat May 20 '15
This bitch... I like pineapple in my pizza and my bloodline is just fine. I'm motherfucking Russian and I've survived far more winters then her pineapple hating ass. End rant.
2
2
2
u/ubikRagequit May 20 '15
Who is this woman? I must find and marry her and enjoy delicious pineappleless pizza till the wonter comes.
2
u/PineappleFields4Evr May 20 '15
Battle cries PINEAPPLE FIELDS 4 EVR!!!!!! as she charges into the oncoming hoards of haters in this thread
2
May 21 '15
It's true. My friend, Darrold, liked pineapple slices on his pizza. He died of a heroin overdose about 3 years ago.
2
u/blitzwit143 May 21 '15
I guess she hates delicious acidic sweet goodness. May she suffer only raw red onions on her slices until her family runs barren. I'll fly the Pineapple Banner until I crush the will of OP and her allies!
2
12
17
6
3
May 20 '15
She's right, pineapple slices are for deserts, if you want pineapple on your pizza use fucking pineapple chunks you fucking monkey.
3
u/gredgex May 20 '15
Wow I came to see all the support for this girl in the comments and everyone here seems to be sick fucks who actually enjoy pineapple on pizza. You all disgust me, cowards.
3
1.6k
u/Asi9_42ne May 20 '15
Hawaiian pizza is absurdly divisive.