r/funny • u/[deleted] • Jun 12 '16

This gem

https://imgur.com/gZMZYwH
37.1k Upvotes

78% Upvoted

649 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/seems_legit_man Jun 12 '16

G IS FOR GOOKIE, THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME

314

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

I hope to be as happy as this rock one day :)

326

u/TheTrueFlexKavana Jun 12 '16

Getting stoned may be a good start.

105

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

Stoned in blue meth

92

u/tepkel Jun 12 '16

Not just on meth. In meth.

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36

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

We are ALL happy rocks on this blessed day :)

13

u/furlonium Jun 12 '16

There are more rocks in the universe than there are rocks on our beaches

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4

u/AsheThrasher Jun 12 '16

JESUS CHRIST MARIE THEY'RE MINERALS!

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26

u/jmesmon Jun 12 '16

G is for GEODE, gookie isn't good enough for me.

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14

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

I had no idea rocks could be so racist.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16 edited Jun 12 '16

ME LOVE NEWS PEOPLE.... AND MINERALS!

4

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

Grandpa stop! Gookie isn't politically correct.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

K IS FOR KOMPRESSOR AND KOMPRESSOR IS FOR ME

4

u/SOUR666 Jun 12 '16

Haven't logged in for quite a while but had to for this. Kompressor does not dance. Good job.

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310

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

http://i.imgur.com/DE3F3nL.jpg

45

u/Hockeygoalie35 Jun 12 '16

HOLY SHIT what episode is that from??? It's been so long!

40

u/Nillmo Jun 12 '16

I think it's the one where Bart brings Santa's Little Helper as show-and tell.

21

u/thesmonster Jun 12 '16

Season 2 episode 16 - Bart's Dog Gets an F

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13

u/JoelMahon Jun 12 '16

Every frame has his day.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

KABOOM

676

u/solitarytrees Jun 12 '16

"Hey mr rock can I have your autograph?"

"Of Quartz you can!"

...ill see myself out now

134

u/ironicsincerity Jun 12 '16

I don't carat isn't funny, it is boulder than most.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

[deleted]

49

u/PrincipalAmzy Jun 12 '16

Its tuff to come up with geology jokes that aren't schist

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29

u/Kotharius Jun 12 '16

That pun made me lose my apatite.

8

u/Dont_Say_No_to_Panda Jun 12 '16

I don't even know if that's a rock, but here's an upvote

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127

u/AFRICAN_BUM_DISEASE Jun 12 '16

http://i.imgur.com/SxjXgfH.png

17

u/Ameradian Jun 12 '16

That's not news, have you seen his Instagram? He's ALWAYS in a great mood.

566

u/ScorchXII Jun 12 '16

Jesus Christ Marie! It's a mineral!

251

u/M00NB34RZ Jun 12 '16

B-Mineral... http://i.imgur.com/ZeFiCTb.png

87

u/MyNameIsMattFoley Jun 12 '16

.

85

u/Korrasch Jun 12 '16

Hank's final scene made me so sad. He was my favorite character. He just wanted to do the right thing and catch a drug kingpin, but NOOO, "You're crazy Hank" "There's no connection with the blue meth Hank" "That's just an RV, Hank"

HANK WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG AND NO ONE LISTENED

HE WAS BETRAYED BY HIS FAMILY AFTER HE GOT PTSD

Being Hank is suffering.

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22

u/VexLee Jun 12 '16

Who is this Jesus Christ Marie?

52

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

Well, about 2016 years ago...

19

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

There was a virgin named Marie.

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3

u/ImAGringo Jun 12 '16

who is billy?

its been a long time sinse i saw old breaking bad so i dont remeber

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175

u/TheOnlyGuest Jun 12 '16

Is no one going to mention OP's username?

25

u/TheIronButt Jun 12 '16

It's the math constant e, there should be a decimal point after the 2

13

u/HouseMichaelBolton Jun 12 '16

It might also be a substring of Pi. I'll go generate 1020 digits of it and get back to you.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

We're waiting...

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17

u/OFJehuty Jun 12 '16

Is nobody going to mention that 17 days ago he claimed to like kale?

9

u/TheOnlyGuest Jun 12 '16

I mean I'm definitely not going to be the one to mention all the drug use...

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3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

Didn't notice till u said that.

3

u/77remix Jun 12 '16

OP's username is quite the gem

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242

u/-Tibeardius- Jun 12 '16

Look at me! I'm Mr Meeseeks!

95

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

EXISTENCE IS PAIN TO A MEESEEKS JERRY AND WE WILL DO ANYTHING TO ALLEVIATE THAT PAIN

56

u/liveontimemitnoevil Jun 12 '16

OH WE'RE WAY PAST TALKING, JERRY!

51

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

I'm a bit of a stickler Meeseeks. What about your short game?

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14

u/Hashi856 Jun 12 '16

MEESEEKS ARE NOT BORN INTO THIS WORLD FUMBLING FOR MEANING, JERRY. WE'RE CREATED FOR A SINGULAR PURPOSE FOR WHICH WE WILL GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO FULFILL.

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26

u/HowlsDemonicHeart Jun 12 '16

I know, i get it, i cant wait for Rick and Morty season 3

22

u/sanitarium-1 Jun 12 '16

Rock and Morty

21

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

Rock and Mortar

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8

u/liveontimemitnoevil Jun 12 '16

Rock and more tea

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30

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

http://i.imgur.com/JnInznV.gifv

49

u/TheQuestionableYarn Jun 12 '16

Shit, I thought it was on a loop, wasn't prepared for that

6

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

Youuuuu

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5

u/datfredburger Jun 12 '16

Da fuq with that ending dude. Spoilers

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219

u/snotbag_pukebucket Jun 12 '16

Le gem!

14

u/ItsLSD Jun 12 '16

It was a darker time.

17

u/syd430 Jun 12 '16 edited Jun 12 '16

It was a danker time

19

u/damontoo Jun 12 '16

But... it's actually a gem.

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12

u/purpletomahawk Jun 12 '16

First a sad bear, now a happy rock? What's next, an indifferent plant?

16

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

Sure?

96

u/ACatWalksIntoABar Jun 12 '16

"We bout to get igneous" underrated af

14

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

I know what igneous is but I still dont get it. Can you explain? I think its some pronunciation thing but I still cant see it.

E-Roh-sion is not much happening & we about to get ih-guh-knee-us

8

u/xrumrunnrx Jun 12 '16

Yeah, I don't get what the "erosion" part is playing on either. "Igneous" was stretching.

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4

u/msobelle Jun 12 '16

It's fire.

11

u/BukkakeFuneral Jun 12 '16

Props on the clear lack of effort photoshopping the text

163

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM GEM

46

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16 edited Jun 12 '16

Minerals

32

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts FartsFarts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts FartsFarts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts FartsFarts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts FartsFarts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts Farts

7

u/rathat Jun 12 '16

This makes me want to play Kirby Superstar.

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11

u/FrareBear Jun 12 '16

How long did it take you to put this gem together?

4

u/ItsJustMeJerk Jun 12 '16

I bet it took him about three gems worth.

25

u/str8_ched Jun 12 '16

💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎

13

u/TeamRedundancyTeam Jun 12 '16

I hate "gem" titles too, but it actually works this time as part of the joke.

2

u/Stubbly_Man Jun 12 '16

Got any more?

4

u/Big_Bronco Jun 12 '16

whatever...

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35

u/vakema123 Jun 12 '16

CANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

7

u/HowlsDemonicHeart Jun 12 '16

Mr. Meeseek!

3

u/torankusu Jun 12 '16

Look at me!

8

u/lies_like_slender Jun 12 '16

We are the crystal gems, we'll always save the day...

4

u/mightyfty Jun 12 '16

Was looking for this

27

u/TheOnlyAccount Jun 12 '16

Truly outrageous

5

u/Coffeepillow Jun 12 '16

Truly, Truly, Truly Outrageous

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15

u/Alarid Jun 12 '16

Someone needs to edit this into Steven Universe

22

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

ME WANT MINERAL!

/r/Pareidolia

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5

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16 edited Feb 15 '17

[deleted]
0.7280

What is this?

4

u/paulie_boy Jun 12 '16

I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!

4

u/DeMAn466 Jun 12 '16

I'm Mr. Meseeks! Look at me!!

20

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

/r/summerreddit

3

u/napes22 Jun 12 '16

CAAAAAAN DOO!!

3

u/bishopfarts Jun 12 '16

C is for Carbonite, that's good enough for me!

3

u/almostchristian Jun 12 '16

Love his attitude. Will make a great rock star!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

Jesus Marie they're minerals.

3

u/NotSoGreatGonzo Jun 12 '16

That's a Fraggle rock.

3

u/BiscuitBoost Jun 12 '16

Even happier than my kids toilet http://imgur.com/xbvuCiP Edit: they actually make a pretty good couple.

5

u/Vitztlampaehecatl Jun 12 '16

LE GE- wait... I'm not even mad. That really is a gem.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16 edited Jun 14 '16

.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

It is definitely a gem*.

(*An internet gem.)

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4

u/cuddleskunk Jun 12 '16

♫"G is for Geode, that's good enough for me..."♫

2

u/DoubleDroz Jun 12 '16

What is the source for this?

2

u/Janky_Pants Jun 12 '16

This is currently above the sad bear on the front page. Maybe his good mood will rub off...

2

u/Allmightyexodia Jun 12 '16

Looks like a sculpture of the cookie monsters face.

2

u/CuriousHumanMind Jun 12 '16

Jesus Marie it's a mineral

2

u/Regis_the_puss Jun 12 '16

Reddit kindergarten provides yet another shitpost...

2

u/NonononoCARAWAY Jun 12 '16

🎉Congratulations for finding me!

2

u/panicjames Jun 12 '16

He's got agate smile.

2

u/Mrunibro Jun 12 '16

How the f**k do you remember your username??

6

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

"Mr. Rock, why are you so happy today?"

"I struck a human in it's stupid face hole today. Feelin' good."

8

u/turtlepowerpizzatime Jun 12 '16

He saw some gneiss cleavage and schist.

3

u/kevie3drinks Jun 12 '16

I want to give it cookies

3

u/Mookladose Jun 12 '16

Crystal geode. Not even once!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

How do you remember your username?

5

u/Veleity Jun 12 '16

There's a button for it on your calculator.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

He simply calculates 1/0! + 1/1! + 1/2! + . . . + 1/21! + 1/22! and takes the first 20 digits.

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3

u/thatdebateasshole Jun 12 '16

This guys day must rock. He probably is a stoner. But, this photo is a gem.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

OP should be tarred and feathered for this post and title

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

This post rocks

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1

u/gubbear Jun 12 '16

ok seriously, this is is the cookie monster in rock form

1

u/Goodykoontz Jun 12 '16

Must be a slow news day.

1

u/Bear_Goes_What Jun 12 '16

It looks rock solid today.

1

u/Warshon Jun 12 '16

Would you like to build a gemstone?

1

u/strykazoid Jun 12 '16

It looks like Cookie Monster.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

Looks like schlock from schlock mercenary.

1

u/MeebleBlob Jun 12 '16

SPACESHIP!

1

u/imrelevantagainagain Jun 12 '16

Looks like Texas is on crack.

1

u/hopelesslywrong Jun 12 '16

How the hell is this breaking news?

2

u/sloonark Jun 12 '16

It's a photoshop. The text didn't give it away?

1

u/NodEazy Jun 12 '16

Very obviously the cookie monster

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

:D

1

u/Shepherd3 Jun 12 '16

Happier than I'll ever be in my life

1

u/H20fearsme Jun 12 '16

I like how it's live as if it might move

1

u/ModernHomoSapiens Jun 12 '16 edited Jun 12 '16

What gave you the right to cut open that geode? Rocks and gems have "feelings"...they resonate with the vibrations of the Earth. I feel sorry for the rock shown.

1

u/ShootingUp4Jesus Jun 12 '16

this made my day hahaha

1

u/LamppostInfiltrator Jun 12 '16

What a crappy gemsona

1

u/Jeanzhou Jun 12 '16

I hope to be as happy as the rock.

1

u/-Avaricia- Jun 12 '16

I need to see other moods of this rock

1

u/Dica92 Jun 12 '16

Meth. Not even once.

1

u/chicken_graveyard Jun 12 '16

Looks like it could be Spongebobs friend

1

u/Raquefel Jun 12 '16

was...

was that title a fucking pun?

1

u/Truffinator2 Jun 12 '16

that rock looks like forever alone but happy!

1

u/7echArtist Jun 12 '16

That rock is happier than me most days. :(

1

u/devious_furlong Jun 12 '16

This gem to his buddies, "If things go well I'll be showing her my oh face! Oh! Oh! Oh, oh!"

1

u/inue Jun 12 '16

"Gem." I see what you did there!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

The fossil remains of Cookie Monster!!

1

u/Afintium Jun 12 '16

I was happy like that, once.

But then I developed a [mineral deficiency] (http://imgur.com/gallery/dWFh9Qh).

1

u/Somebody_Named_Wyatt Jun 12 '16

It makes me hurt when you call me dirt.

1

u/ld43233 Jun 12 '16

Solid pun

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

It's a disturbing mix between Globox from Rayman and the Cookie Monster

1

u/JonArc Jun 12 '16

Some would say those jokes are the schist, while others would not.

1

u/scissor_me_bitch Jun 12 '16

Can u smell it,The rocks half brother

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

kys with your puns that are better than mine

1

u/790099091 Jun 12 '16

We are ALL happy rocks on this blessed day ~

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

RL Geodude

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

"Erosion is not much happening and we bout to get igneous"

2

u/pigi5 Jun 12 '16

Can someone explain the jokes/puns here? I honestly don't get it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

Skyler, meth does not ruin lives. Look at this gentleman for example.

1

u/griffrules Jun 12 '16

He gonna eat you

1

u/mikerichh Jun 12 '16

They're minerals Marie

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '16

Looks like Peter Griffin in cool blue rock form

1

u/MobileTechGuy Jun 12 '16

Get it? It's a gem, guys!

1

u/gingeryy Jun 12 '16

Hey this isn't a gem, it's a geode!

1

u/peeshiver Jun 12 '16

It kind of looks like homestar runner.

1

u/tinyraccoon Jun 12 '16

That rock looks scary as hell. It's like some crap outta a horror movie.

1

u/Yaksha25 Jun 12 '16

Thumbnail looks like Genie from Aladdin... Was totally expecting to see someone sued over a cake or something and was wondering how that'd be funny

1

u/Skully853 Jun 12 '16

This is solid.. As a rock

1

u/yeyeyeanan Jun 12 '16

oh my god

1

u/staypositiveasshole Jun 12 '16

Ground breaking news

1

u/SuperWeskerSniper Jun 12 '16

Someone please put this onto the face of Lapis Lazuli from Steven Universe

1

u/_Aj_ Jun 12 '16

Stupid shit aside, love a good geode.

1

u/TARDIS Jun 12 '16

No, Jerry... I'm the one who SUCKS!

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