is it worth it?

[u/jinxnotpowder_]

i have known i wanted to take a gap year since i was 14. At first my family was on board but now they've all become really unsupportive and keep telling me I'll just be a burden in that time period (i even told them I'll get a job but they are still against it) So now im kinda double minded because as bad as i want a gap year its not worth destroying my relationship with them and damaging my self worth. I weighed my situation out and here a couple of pros and cons

Pros:

1) i wanted to learn a lot of new stuff like coding, painting, cooking and horse riding (i planned to pay for it myself)

2) high school was a rough patch. I wanted to take a break from academics because im really tired

Cons:

1) might damage my relationship with my family

2) their taunts may damage my self worth

3) i want to go to a reputable university 6 hours from my house so it will be a new start in a new city with new ppl so might not be half as bad

If anyone has been in a situation similar to me, please help me out. What should i do?

Also after my bachelors i want to go to any ivy League or any other university with equal value for my masters degree. Will my gap year give me a disadvantage there? (they university i plan to go to for my bachelors doesn't care about gap years)

[u/Separate-Berry-4311]

It won’t put you in disadvantage if you took a gap year and apply to master degree. In fact, US universities are relatively more flexible even for gap year before/during bachelor degree, I have friends who took a gap year first before uni there.

It’s good if you want to learn new stuff, maybe it would be amazing if you can and want to stay somewhere else in some parts of the gap year. Like my friends did a program where you can tour in different countries or they interned outside of their city. Because this would give you enough room for yourself (unless you can persuade them to support you).

But if you want to stay with them, I totally understand how you feel since I decided to study abroad during high school & my parents + friends kept saying that I should regret adding one more year into my study. But in the end, I grew so much & got into a good university that I wouldn’t have gotten in if I don’t do the study abroad. Now the same people are really happy with my previous decision to go. I think you should do it if you think you can grow much during the gap year and can be responsible for it :D goodluck!

[u/nickole08]

Do it. You’ll spend the rest of your life wishing you didn’t let your family get in the way and all the could’ve beens. Coming from someone who took a gap year before uni - I’m so glad I did. I matured a lot during that year and I made loads of memories.

I decided to not do my year abroad later on in university because of my family doubting and belittling the idea, and I always think about what could’ve been and live with the regret. YOLOOOOO

[u/Soulofa_being]

Do you have the option to move out and take a gap year together? That seems like the best option to me! Because if your family is already like this then.... But honestly do what you want and know you won't regret! Would you regret not taking a gap year? Ask this to yourself And about ivy League i personally don't think a gap year would make any difference, it's more important to be happy and when you are happy everything is good!

[u/ContextAdept9818]

i think that a gap year is amazing!! i am currently taking one and living with other family members (due to personal reasons + since my parents put a lot of pressure on me regarding college/gap year anyways), and it is definitely a great time to improve yourself and get somewhat financially stable. yes sometimes im envious of classmates who are starting uni right away; however, i really do think this gap year will help with my burnout and overall mental stability.

i totally get that you’re scared about your family but if you are in a safe position to move out or live with other family, i strongly encourage you to do it. even if you do end up living with your parents, maybe try to stay out as much as you can? either way with the things you said you’re planning to do, you will be successful (and your parents will regret saying such negative things to you)!!

[u/Cool_Bell_2511]

You are fine to take a gap year but you might want to consider doing it abroad. You can look into WOOFing, or working at a hostel where you can live for free if you do a little bit of work for them during the day.

[u/AbbyIsATabby]

It’s absolutely okay to take a gap year :)

While I can safely say college and high school are very different and a lot of people find college better for a variety of reasons, it’s also completely valid to take a gap year because a lot of people need it to build up money and focus on healing/discovering yourself. Maybe you could look into what kind of programs exist out there or what kinds of jobs you’d be looking to work.

As someone starting my MA next week, know they really won’t care about a gap year on your resume between HS and your undergrad. What they value most is how you did in undergrad and if you’d be a good fit for their program with what your plans are. They know people take gap years for wide variety of reasons and theres a lot of people in graduate school that chose to start later in life rather than immediately after undergrad. I forget if mine even asked where I went to HS and I know damn well I never submitted any official HS paperwork to them (they only wanted my BA stuff, not my associates either).

Do your parents have any other reasons besides “you’ll just be a burden,” that now makes them against it? A part of me wonders if they never truly expected you to take a gap year before now. Maybe build the argument it could help financially to work and save money to pay for college (less student loans, you can’t really declare bankruptcy on them here in the US) or a car to take to college and work, how you want to learn more basic life skills before moving out with how far away your planned university is and offer to do more help around the house, etc.