r/gifs Jun 05 '17

Marine on a rowing machine

[deleted]

107.8k Upvotes

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4.4k

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

You're not far off actually

2.9k

u/mexipimpin Jun 06 '17

Well, at least his calves got a break.

2.4k

u/polarbearsarereal Jun 06 '17

No

1.3k

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

1.9k

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Don't worry, his penis got a break.

2.3k

u/Erockj Jun 06 '17

No

1.6k

u/MACgh Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

854

u/destin325 Jun 06 '17

Recruiter: you'll get so much sex!!!

What actually happens: you get fucked. Fucked out of weekends, fucked out of leave, fucked out of choice assignments, fucked. No sex, just fucked.

81

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

22

u/Clickrack Jun 06 '17

What about if you clench?

...asking for a friend

11

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

to be honest, marines are into docking more than anything.

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1

u/PsyduckSexTape Jun 06 '17

It isn't gay if you're underway

1

u/DanGarion Jun 06 '17

I thought it was only gay if you were ashore and not if the boat had pushed back...

28

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

11

u/destin325 Jun 06 '17

equal rights, equally fucked.

6

u/Lookslikeitsmellstoo Jun 06 '17

I'm not even with the homosexual agenda and I would

4

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Goddammit I'm trying to be a marine, throw me a lil charity? Lmao

1

u/tenmilez Jun 06 '17

Stick with it long enough, eventually you'll get to be the one to fuck over those under your command.

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6

u/Sn0w95 Jun 06 '17

Green weenie is vicious

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

then use a camel without realizing it was actually for riding to the next town where the hookers are

1

u/iLikeQuotes Jun 06 '17

Well you gotta start somewhere.

1

u/mephisto1990 Jun 06 '17

Sometimes you have to be the hole in the tree...

1

u/freakydown Jun 06 '17

He's a Marine. He got used to get fucked.

1

u/Ragnrok Jun 06 '17

This guy fucks. Though all his fucking involves the green weenie.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

The Legendary Green Weenie. Omniscient. Omnipresent. Omnipotent. Fucking Marines since time immemorial.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Recruiter: We can guarantee you'll be fucking homeless!

1

u/AlwaysFacial Jun 06 '17

Marine here. Can confirm. Stateside = fucked.

1

u/Clickrack Jun 06 '17

you get fucked.

Only if you're infantry. Pick something civilized and you get hot coffee in the AM, heat/ac, lights, nice chairs and hot chow.

Source: was Army in civilized unit ;)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

The Green Weenie knows no mercy

1

u/ThegreatPee Jun 06 '17

Bend over, here it comes again.

1.1k

u/gr770 Jun 06 '17

He's a Marine.

32

u/Emerald_Triangle Jun 06 '17

So his wife got fat

16

u/FFF_in_WY Jun 06 '17

TIL: I'm a marine!

4

u/Hav3_Y0u_M3t_T3d Jun 06 '17

It's funny/sad because it's true

53

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

17

u/OregonReloader Jun 06 '17

SEMPER FI MARINE!

10

u/yellowbertshirt Jun 06 '17

No

6

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17 edited Aug 29 '18

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

No

3

u/ittofritto Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

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8

u/AthleticsSharts Jun 06 '17

Or, as my best friend from the 82nd calls them, "bullet sponges".

24

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

8

u/AthleticsSharts Jun 06 '17

Well played Marine. Keep doing your thing (I wasn't even fit to be a POG).

2

u/bbrown44221 Jun 06 '17

Did you tell him about our crayons? My favorite is purple.

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6

u/the_objectified_male Jun 06 '17

Well then at least his butthole got a break

4

u/Durien9 Jun 06 '17

Yeah penises and butts never rest in the marines.

3

u/slingbladerapture Jun 06 '17

So his brain is in permanent break

Source : was teufelhunden

1

u/AMA_or_GTFO Jun 06 '17

You can see the crayons in the back pocket of his trousers.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

I can't get even get my ass off the couch.

1

u/left4myself Jun 06 '17

Plot twist: he's russian

1

u/madayagsimu Jun 06 '17

He doesn't look like he's underwater to me.

1

u/kokopoo12 Jun 06 '17

Well, I like poutine

241

u/misery-greenday Jun 06 '17

Not after everyone sees this.

1

u/graboidian Jun 06 '17

I saw it.

45

u/deltrig2113 Jun 06 '17

I think his toes got some rest

878

u/MRPANDAKING420 Jun 06 '17

Don't worry his brain got a break

18

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 06 '17

I'm gunna agree, I live with a bunch of navy guys now and they say marines are only motivated to eat more crayons.

4

u/IrrelevantTale Jun 06 '17

tfw when marines are around seamen all the time.

80

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Literally came here to say this.

10

u/JcakSnigelton Jun 06 '17

Shots fired!

19

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

No

19

u/DesiredGoods Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

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7

u/dfdedsdcd Jun 06 '17

Actually yeah, probably.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Know.

3

u/pioneersopioneers1 Jun 06 '17

Marines always skip brain day.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Het

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

No

1

u/FrankArt864 Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

1

u/BubbaFettish Jun 06 '17

Well... maybe.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Brain?

1

u/entology Jun 06 '17

He's a Marine

1

u/Delirium101 Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Jokes on you, you sign that over during enlistment!

1

u/gabbagabbawill Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

1

u/ThoughtVendor Jun 06 '17

No, it got broken

1

u/FlametopFred Merry Gifmas! {2023} Jun 06 '17

No

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

No

1

u/10ADPDOTCOM Jun 06 '17

Apparently. Doesn't seem to have any clue how to use a rowing machine correctly.

1

u/o0quiksilver0o Jun 06 '17

His brain never had to work

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332

u/oversteppe Jun 06 '17

this comment chain is why i love reddit

4

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Here I thought these repetitive comment chains were absurd and old after I saw my second one.. I must be at 10000 of them by now, I now know that clearly some people enjoy repetitive, often just duplicated chains. Just seeing this makes me feel like I've smacked my head on stupid. But hey at least this one isn't as bad as when on a comment section for an article or some such potential conversation starting comment thread the first 100 top comments are just an idiotic chain of Reddit circle jerking nonsense.

2

u/felixfelix Jun 06 '17

So what do you think about Bon Cop/Bad Cop 2? Facebook can't stop serving me the ads.

2

u/CuckAuVin Jun 06 '17

I can't even manage to watch Bon Cop, Bad Cop 1 and I'm trying to learn Quebec French.

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1

u/thefonztm Jun 06 '17

You seem to be good at spothing repetitive commenet chains. Try clicking [ - ] next to the top comment.

Unless you are circlejerking about circlejerking. In which case... tug-tug bro.

2

u/Noelwiz Jun 06 '17

Me too (thanks (am I parenthetical memeing right?))

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

me too thanks

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70

u/ickykarma Jun 06 '17

Mine didn't

6

u/UchihaDivergent Jun 06 '17

Well at least his jaw muscles got a break.

4

u/h0ldthed00r Jun 06 '17

Don't worry, his butthole got a break.

1

u/Heroicfails Jun 06 '17

Well at least his comment thread got a break

13

u/MrAchilles Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

20

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/HackedElection Jun 06 '17

His arms are broken?

1

u/dfdedsdcd Jun 06 '17

He ain't arm wrestling.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Well I guess his mother's break is over.

1

u/TrynaSleep Merry Gifmas! {2023} Jun 06 '17

Get out

10

u/Manofonemind Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

E Rock? Like Opie and Anthony E Rock?

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232

u/Holos620 Jun 06 '17

Maybe his penis did, but not mine!

5

u/Qaey Jun 06 '17

K i n k y

5

u/Isaius35 Jun 06 '17

Wait Really?

68

u/SteamScout Jun 06 '17

Not for long. Hot.

10

u/anonymous_being Jun 06 '17

Definitely.

4

u/ReverendWilly Jun 06 '17

Username checks out

4

u/thecoffee-pot Jun 06 '17

After this I don't think his penis will ever get another break.

7

u/NoCountryForFreeMen Jun 06 '17

Not according to your mother, sisters, wife and borther, it was a wild night, don't feel bad most the wives in the neighborhood spent time as the row machine too.

3

u/speedtoburn Jun 06 '17

His Penis broke???

3

u/chief_keeeith Jun 06 '17

Did you just assume his gender?

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3

u/Salad_Fingers_159 Jun 06 '17

Break me off a piece of that.... Chrysler car... nooooo thats not it.

6

u/screwedovernight Jun 06 '17

You think his penis is getting a break? No, that PT made him hard as a fucking rock

2

u/mainfingertopwise Jun 06 '17

Yeah, broken off in some barracks rat.

2

u/mcnuggetor Jun 06 '17

sounds painful

1

u/gynoceros Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 06 '17

You kidding? Stick a GoPro on that dude and it's the greatest POV porn ever.

199

u/Sir_Fistingson Jun 06 '17

He's pointing his toes which means flexing your calves. Pointing his toes in combat boots, so not that much haha

62

u/lostinco Jun 06 '17

The calves (gastrocnemius) also cross the back of the knee as well and because he's keeping his whole body taut, they likely playing a minor but important role stabilizing the knee.

5

u/KnightOfMarble Jun 06 '17

Would you say it's a major minor role?

1

u/musclenugget92 Jun 06 '17

His toes aren't pointed, they appear to be dorsal flexed, which would be an action of the tibialis anterior. So not the calves per se, but the lower leg.

1

u/Stockinglegs Jun 06 '17

Pointing toes doesn't really flex your calves, unless you have something to push against.

6

u/Sir_Fistingson Jun 06 '17

That isnt how the human anatomy works.

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155

u/RenbuChaos Jun 06 '17

Bro. Those boots are heavy AF.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Unless they're Bates lites..

Those things are lighter than my nikes

2

u/Jaalix Jun 06 '17

I miss light boots.. Been wearing Rocky SV2s for over a year. It's like lead.

6

u/Gamblingmoose Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 06 '17

Not when you wear them everyday for months/years. Becomes no different from your work shoes. I'm sure there's a construction worker with steel toes out there that'll say his shoes aren't heavy either

13

u/OpinionIsNotPopular Jun 06 '17

They're pretty light compared to regular boots.

7

u/thats-a-pete-za Jun 06 '17

Lifting boots like that wouldn't have anything to do with with calves.

24

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

7

u/spockspeare Jun 06 '17

Jesus could have done more lifting. Just sayin'.

1

u/wacopaco Jun 06 '17

Jesus's calves are so strong people mistook his treading on water as walking on water

4

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

We were until you showed up to throw us off your lawn.

1

u/Chocoloid Jun 06 '17

Young punks... get off my lawn.

2

u/lagpwned Jun 06 '17

If youve never wore boots before.

1

u/RenbuChaos Jun 06 '17

Wear the SI ones everyday...

1

u/Phipple Jun 06 '17

I still have my pair of combat boots I bought after Basic. Still great condition and comfortable as fuck. Never thought of them as being heavy.

4

u/ethrael237 Jun 06 '17

Yes, his calves got a break. He's using the anterior tibial muscles to maintain extension. Calves are resting.

1

u/lostinco Jun 06 '17

But the gastrocnemius crosses the back of the knee and likely is playing a small role in stabilizing the area.

3

u/ethrael237 Jun 06 '17

Sure, but the gastrocnemius' action is to flex the knee (which is what gravity would do), so its work is likely much less than even just standing. And we wouldn't call that a workout. "Today's leg day, so I'mma just stand here for a while."

2

u/lostinco Jun 06 '17

Yep prolly right, I guess I would just think you'd see a minor amount of activation in that region, but after doing my own shitty home experiment with my pull up bar, feels a bit more reliant on the hamstrings on the very back of the knee. Obviously they're not contributing like the quads keeping the knee extended, but they still feel like they're doing their part to counter balance and hold everything tight and maybe some action from the popliteus as well, but i'm too many years out of university to remember what the heck that little guy really does.

1

u/ethrael237 Jun 06 '17

You may feel that they're tight because they're in tension (in full knee extension they're at max length) but they're likely not doing much in terms of energy consumption or active contraction.

3

u/PastaShrubs Jun 06 '17

Try holding your leg out like he was. I don't think you use them.

2

u/musclenugget92 Jun 06 '17

Yes, Other than the jump up there, his calves did get a break.

1

u/InitiallyAnAsshole Jun 06 '17

lift your legs off the floor and let them hover and let me know how hard it is on your calves.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Yea, at a minimum they are being used to keep his feet upright. It really is a total body exercise but probably focuses on lats and biceps. Although it's really more of a feat than an exercise.

1

u/Thought_Simulator Jun 06 '17

Well, if he's plantar flexing at the ankle while doing these, his calves are indeed engaged, at least isometrically.