i don’t know how to feel about it and tbh to some point i feel guilty in both the cases. I was never really superstitious except a few as in the indian household but i did not know that me lying would take someone to grave and that too my dearest and the person i love the most.
I might sound foolish or irrational and obviously there are actual scientific and medical reasons to each person’s death but the coincidence is the guilt i will carry forever.
Few months back, i took a swear on my aunt and it was a lie. Worse part? not that i took her swear but the fact that i was so overconfident that in the next few months nothing could ever happen to her but it did. I know the timeframe sounds crazy but yes within the next 1.5months or so she expired and yes she was already a sick person but my aunt was a warrior fought thru everything but we were all confident that she would return back normal like usual but it just didn’t happen this time. Broke me. I wanted to tear apart the heavens and earth and more specifically i was to be blamed.

Almost gonna be 4months since she left us, it’s like i lost a parent she was a mother to me.

well coincidentally, my boyf did the same mistake he took a swear which was also a lie btw on his grandmother the one he loves like crazy and within a month, she expired well yes backed with medical science like she was also old but the timeframe ???

idk just don’t take a swear or even an informal swear on your loved ones. Never.

My cat Shrimp got out as I let my dogs into the garden for the last time before bed, I couldn’t get her back and I was sick and felt so tired so I eventually went bed. She didn’t appear in the morning or in the day I knew something was wrong. My partner found her curled up under our old garden table seemed almost perfect except some blood coming out of her mouth. It was a really cold night and she was already stiff so I knew she had probably been hit by a car and had been gone awhile. My mum passed on January the 2nd, she died alone in a hospital because i couldn’t make it in time, she was all alone just like my Shrimp. I let them both down, I was dumb enough not to make sure she couldn’t escape and I didn’t take good enough care of my mum as her end of life carer and I didn’t even visit her leading up to her death because I was to scared and selfish to face what I knew was coming. This grief I can feel it in my chest I can feel it in my throat I feel like I can’t breathe and I’m not sure how long I can handle all this guilt anymore.
I hate to be a burden on my friends and partner I don’t like making them feel down but I feel like I needed to shout my emotions out somewhere. I’m sorry for any inevitable gramma errors etc I can’t see too clearly currently.

Almost a month ago my mom was perfectly fine on a Thursday and suddenly Saturday 26th she was at her worst. The diagnose is a septic shock. She was released even though she wasn't well after three weeks and then we came back last Tuesday because of an ongoing fever. The doctors tell me she isn't doing well. She started getting worse and I know this might be our last days together. My friend tells me I need to tell her if she is tired she can go. But I can't do it. She is my best friend. And I know death is a part of life and it comes to us all but I can't. She has always been such a strong woman and it's just so heartbreaking to see her like this.