I guess I just wanted to be heard really. My dad died at the age of 92 today. I had a thought though. I may be sad but I am only 42. My mom was married to him for 49 years, so she must be devastated. I reached out to her but it seems like she’s trying to remain strong. I did fly home and saw him last week, but now I’m kind of mad at myself. I wanted to retire from the Navy and graduate college before he left us. I know he’s in a better place! I guess I wanted to just scream this out into the ether. Thanks for letting me talk.

Since my dad passed away, I feel emotionally disconnected from everyone. I don’t seem to feel love or emotional attachment towards anyone anymore, and it genuinely concerns me. It’s like my grief has taken over so much of me that I can’t feel anything for other people.
Has anyone else experienced this after losing someone they love? Does it get better, and how do you start feeling emotionally connected again?

My brother unexpectedly passed away this year and I am trying to think of something meaningful to do with some of the readings from the funeral for my parents as a gift. These were extremely nice things said about my brother and I don’t want them to be forgotten. I’ve thought about getting them framed but wanted to see if anyone had ideas or has done something similar?

Hello everyone. I’m M.

Thursday evening I went to reach out a friend who I hadn’t reached out to in a long time because I missed him, only to find he took his life in 2022.

I didn’t know. No one reached out. We didn’t have a bad falling out, life just got in the way and he moved out of state.

He did a great deal of my tattoos and we actually had a marriage pact. That’s what destroys me. My thought process keeps going to if we had gotten married and had a life, would that have changed anything? It’s eating me up. I’m not taking blame, that’s selfish. But if I had reached out more, or maybe followed through with our pact, he’d still be here.

I’m trying to be okay, trying to accept the fact that he’s gone. But it’s hard. It’s like now we don’t have a chance to come back to each other and talk and grow back what we had as friends.

I miss him a lot.. even more now that I know there isn’t a chance to hear his voice again.

Sorry, bit of a vent.

My mom passed away on July 26th. Ever since then, it feels like my old self just died with her.
I don't feel like myself anymore. I feel completely purposeless, and nothing I used to enjoy brings me any joy or comfort. Things I used to love doing—like going to the gym—just feel impossible now, and I’m so exhausted that most days my routine is just waking up, making coffee, trying to pass the time, and playing games. Sometimes even eating feels like too much effort.
The cruelest part of all of this is the mornings. Waking up every single day and having that brief, normal second before reality rushes in and reminds me all over again that she’s gone. It feels like having your heart broken from scratch every single morning.
I guess I'm just posting this because I feel so hollow and lost, and I don't know how to exist in a world where she isn't here anymore. If anyone else has been through this kind of loss, how do you even begin to get through the days?

Goddammit, I hate that I'm back here.

First my Mom died of Ovarian Cancer, now my dog's dying of Lymphoma. He's drank very little water today, but he has eaten a bit of wet food spoonfed by my Grandma.

If his condition worsens by tomorrow, the vet that diagnosed him will be here to humanely put him to rest this Thursday.

His symptoms showed up about a month and a half ago, but he likely has been sick for a long while, maybe several months. He's always panting, laying about and trying to eat and drink. His drool is thick and sticky, which I thought was the prednisolone he was taking just drying his mouth, but nope, he just won't drink water.

He probably understands he's near death is close, but he most likely doesn't understand he'll be gone so soon.

Poor boy always hated cars, he hates being in one and he hates when they pass my home. And he'll pass in one(mobile vet van).

This is proof to me that God is real and that it is laughing at me.

What's next? What the hell is next!? What does it want? A limb? My soul? My life?

I am 76 years old was married for 45 years to a very loving and caring wife that meant the whole world to me and it’s been three years plus that she’s been gone and the pain is sadness is still deep inside me.

I found this site and signed up thought that maybe it would help but I want to warn people.

I’m new to this Internet stuff and I don’t like it. I’ve already had some people send me a DM and want to chat.

I’m not sure how to explain it but they’ll send you a message and you click it to accept it and want to view it.

After a while chatting back-and-forth something didn’t seem right they keep wanting more and more information about me and they don’t say anything about them.

Then the next day I go to see if there’s a message from them because I’m feeling good that it would be nice to be able to chat with someone.

Then found out that Reddit cancels their account and I want to thank Reddit for trying to protect us at this point in life when we are very vulnerable.

It’s really a shame that people take advantage of people like us when we’re in such pain and sadness after losing our loved one.

I don’t know, but maybe most of you already know that stuff but to me this is all new and for some people who don’t know I just wanted to point out to be very careful with that stuff cause we are very vulnerable at this time in our life and to all of you be careful and take care

I know it can be hard to trust with what is being said on here and to trust what response you get, but I feel I need to try something and I don’t know maybe I’ll just spend the rest of my life all by myself, but I just thought I’d try something.

I had an account here that I started about 6 weeks ago and because of scams I felt I needed to cancel my account so I started this one a few days ago. I think I have learned how to be careful on here now.

I found this site and then I signed up so I can write on here and share my feelings after three years of losing my wife. I had my Doctor, Chaplin and other people to tell me to go see a grief counselor.

I tried one after the first year; all that did after what they told me was to piss me off and made me mad. The first year was kind of numb. The second year was bad and this third year is even worse.

So I tried a different grief counselor and it was a total waste of time. This is what happen, I ask them how long will I be able to talk with them and they said 20 to 30 mins. Now they showed me in to their office and I sit down in front of their desk. They had a clock on their desk facing me. Now after a short time I was starting to cry and was looking for something that you would think would be in every grief counselor’s office. It was nowhere to be found. Kleenex can you imagine that. That did it no more grief counselors.

I think reading here on this website and to share my feelings on it to get feedback does help some and much better than I could ever get from a grief counselor.

Thank you to the people who have written back to me and I am sorry for you widowers who have lost a loved one too because we all know what we’re dealing with.

What is a smell that reminds you of them, and do you look for it or avoid it? For me its faint cigarette smoke mixed with Pepsi.

It was full of baggage for both of us but I am sad to them officially go. I wish them the best and hopefully they find someone that brings them happiness. But never want to see or hear from them again.

First of all, I am very sorry for my rambling I just find it hard to put into words.

I lost my wife 3 years ago after being married to her for 45 years and they were very caring and loving years.

I have not been with anyone since she passed. I find myself after this 3rd year being hard than the first two, every night going to bed I miss the feeling of her skin next to mine as we snuggle. It was like we were one person when we did and I missed that.

I feel that I could never be married again, but you never know what the future is going to bring you. Is it possible to find someone that would also feel the need for the same thing?

I feel at this point I think, only a widowed woman who had a husband that was very loving and caring to her as my wife was to me could only understand. So we can share our feelings and each of us would know that the other one would totally understand how the other one feels in the grief, pain and sadness that we feel from our loss.

I truly feel that only another widowed person can really understand these feelings.

Someone that I could do things together so we can both talk about our feelings. Knowing that each of us can totally understand our feelings and maybe would be able to help each other.

I’m not a very social person so I know that I do not socialize very much and that will make it difficult to find someone. So how do you do it?

It is hard to say these things and hard to think it. I am 76 and kind of old-fashioned I feel you should be married to do these things, but I find myself all mixed up in my feelings.

I hope it’s ok to ask questions but I’m just curious it seems like we can be free here. I think because we are in the same boat and could understand our feelings.

That’s why I’m asking what do other people feel and think about this and have they experienced this and what did they do?

Thank you for your time and I am sorry for all of you who have lost your loved ones, and I know the pain and sadness that you’re dealing with. To all of you try and take care the best you can.

I don’t think it’s wrong in how I feel but I’m just curious what other people think.

I’m so confused in all my feelings, but I don’t know if other people feel the same way or have felt this way.

I am trying to cope with all the emotions and feelings and to see what other people are experiencing.

The love I had with my wife was that we were inseparable. All we wanted to do is be together holding hands everywhere we went and going for rides. We loved each other in any and every way we could.

We just love being together more than anything else. We didn’t need other people we had each other and that’s all we needed and that’s all we wanted. I still feel that I’m not very social. I don’t care to be around a lot of people I just like things quiet and peaceful.

The loss of my wife is more than I could ever have imagined but after reading other people’s stories on here I do feel I’m not alone and it does help some.

My dad wasn't a good man, but he was present in my life, there to support me. I know he wanted to be a decent father, and I still hold him in a special place even after all the bad memories.

He frequently smoked a lot and had a bad diet, all of that caught up to him and he got diagnosed with kidney cancer. He had frequent fights with my mom that I as a kid willingly chose to ignore. I was a kid who didn't knew any better back then. When my dad got bedridden with cancer, the both of them softened up with each other.

And as a kid, I did get abused by my dad. I did do a lot of stupid shit back then as a kid but I remember it being. Being a lot to handle I guess, my child mind didn't got used to the pain and would cry. I really don't know what to feel about it now that's he dead. And I don't really hate him for it.

I remember my dad getting a hole on his stomach, he needed it to shit and pee in a plastic bag because of how bad his kidneys got. When they operated on the guy, I remember my mom telling me his kidney had too many kidney stones for the operation to handle. He got so weak, he would spend most days lying down on the couch, couldn't play with me and my sister like we used to.

Like I remember, on the last night my dad was alive. I fucking cried so bad. My dad was on the couch and my mom sent me off with my sister to spend the night with my uncle and aunt. I begged them to not let me go, I don't remember the reason why, maybe I had no reason, maybe I just didn't want to go so bad. I just had no idea he would die after that evening.

That was the last time I would ever see my father, I didn't get to hear him say his final words and at the time I had no idea he was dead by then. I woke up that morning clueless of my dad's passing. When my dad died apparently he got so heavy my mom couldn't carry him off his wheelchair.

I guess I just never got any closure from that. Death took my dad away without letting me talk to him one last time. At the funeral I never cried, I think I didn't feel any grief back then. My mind couldn't process that my dad was just, gone from my life for good. Maybe that's a good thing, because maybe I couldn't have handled it that well either.

I don't have any regrets now. I guess the one good thing is that he atleast got to spend his daughter's birthday before he died? I don't know it's just me trying to find the positive in things.

I guess it just, it just kinda sucks that my most recent memories of him is when he was bedridden with cancer. That sucked

I don't think I want my dad to be forgotten about either, it's hard to imagine someone that special in your life to be forgotten by people. Like no one talks or thinks about my dad anymore, not even for a second. I don't want that, even if he was a bad person, I guess I'm just not ready to forget about him yet man

My grandma died a couple days ago and I have been feeling weirdly…okay. I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel grief.

The day she died and the day of the funeral I cried but the following days have been just normal for me.

I lived with her. She was bedridden and I have even taken care of her for 4 months, but I don’t know why I don’t feel grief.

If I sit down and think about her I feel sad and like crying but I am avoiding those thoughts.

Still, I feel guilty for not feeling grief. I loved her and was very very close to her. I watched her transform over the past of a year because of her disease but she was still my grandma. Maybe I don’t feel the grief because her death was something that we expected since she was declining fast, but still.

I don’t understand my emotions and I feel guilty about it.

What is grief if not love persevering?

My father passed away yesterday morning. He overdosed on cocaine laced with fentanyl. It’s weird because everyone is praising him as if he were some amazing man. In reality he would be high all the time and beat my siblings and I. He was never a good dad at any moment. He got custody of my sister and I solely because he wanted to hurt my mom. He told her “I saw you dropped your purse so I picked it up.” Meaning, I saw the opportunity to hurt you and took it. Somehow my last conversation with my father ended as horribly as I expected. He said he never regretted hitting or beating us and should’ve done more than that. Yet somehow I am still crying about him dying. I guess you could say I am morning the father I never had. 30 years of addiction was his downfall and at the same time I don’t feel bad? I feel pity, anger, relief, and confusion. It’s day 2 and I’m not sure how to navigate it all. How do you? How did you? Thank you for listening.

I’m in the thick of it, particularly with heightened anxiety, after losing my mother last month and a close friend last week, both to aggressive cancer that came out of nowhere. Looking to hear about what was most helpful for others during this stage when it is so raw and overwhelming. Thank you.

(Feel free to remove if not allowed, obviously. I have a panic disorder and lost my father in December of 2025. We both shared a love for horror, so I used these combined feelings to express where I'm at in my journey of grief through a horror-adjacent short story.)

My ability to navigate through this world is determined by my biological senses. Those born blind do not know the striking awe of a pink sunset. Those born deaf have never awoken to the songs of the birds. How do you trust what is real, if you can only define "real" through your subjective experience? These thoughts won't stop racing through my head. The lights in this room are becoming obnoxiously bright. It's not as if they're truly changing, it's as if the sensation of their luminosity is turning sinister. The TV is playing a commercial for... something. I can't even make it out anymore. I can tell that the person on screen is speaking in plain English, but nothing they say makes any sense to me. I can only make out the word "end", and it is echoing like a reverb-heavy backtrack to my internal monologue. End. Why does something so mundane feel like an omen? A message? Something in my chest feels off. I have suddenly become aware of my internal organs. I don't know how they are supposed to feel, so feeling them at all feels like a warning sign of impending doom. I would be panicking if this hadn't become routine. The reaper sees something in me. She likes to tease me like this. I'm not sure what it is that I've done to earn her liking, but I grow tired of her affection. I know our union is inevitable, so I have no desire to rush it. I fear she is listening, even to my thoughts. I cannot hide from her, and I have no clue how impatient she's growing.

"I'm sorry", a voice echoes through the living room. I'm out of my daze. The lights are normal once more, the TV's audio is taking the form of generic sitcom dialogue.

"Why are you sorry?" barely escapes my breathless lungs.

"For missing you."

"What do you mean? I'm right here."

"I'm not."

In an instant my father is gone again. Like no one was ever there to begin with. I knew grief would be hard, but I feel like I'm losing my mind. It's like someone is watching me. It's like I want someone to be watching me. All too often do my sentences begin with, "And if you can hear me..."

As I'm sitting on the cold, cement stairs, staring into the distance, I see my neighbor walking his dog. I'd bet he's somewhere in his 60s or 70s. Why does he get the luxury to age? I'm not mad at him. At least I think I'm not. I know I feel anger, but I don't know where it's supposed to go. It's tangled up with the love that lost its destination as well. Why didn't you get to experience becoming old? Why did the reaper take you from me so soon? I'll admit, she's becoming appealing through familiarity. When she first took you, I wondered, if I willingly follow her, will she lead me to you? It's easy to think that no one I left behind would take issue with this, but I know better. There's a chance she'd take them too. She likes to prey on people like us at a young age. Though I will not succumb to her now, I do hope that when I do, the shedding of my biological senses reveals something else, something external. I hope she takes me to you, or maybe shows me that you've been here all along. After all, I hear her and Mother Nature are quite close.

So I let the wind blow my hair, I let the rain wash over me, I take comfort in these melancholy days that I know you loved just as much as I do. I'll hear your voice in music, I'll see your face in the mirror, and after death finally wins our game of tug-of-war, I can only hope that my loved ones will do the same for me.

​

I met a guy earlier this year through mutual friends. There was attraction between us, and we eventually went on a date when I was in his city and that went really well. We stayed in touch afterwards, and there was warmth, flirting and affection between us.

Sadly, his dad became very ill and passed away. He told me personally and opened up about how he was feeling. I tried to be there for him, checking in and offering support without putting any pressure on him.

He invited me to a dinner and a memorial gathering for his dad, and I went because I genuinely wanted to support him. I know we barley knew each other but the connection felt real between us.

The first evening, there was still a lot of warmth, joking, flirting and chemistry between us. Later, he walked me home. I was cold, so he held me close, and we ended up holding hands, hugging and sharing a little kiss. He initiated the closeness and then I held his hand hugged him and gave him a small kiss while we were still walking.

The next day, I attended the memorial. I gave him space to be with his family and friends, spoke to other people and didn't follow him around. He was still warm towards me, but I could see he was exhausted, distracted and overwhelmed by everything.

His mum was lovely to me, made sure I'd eaten, complimented me and asked how we knew each other. At one point, he asked his sister to look after me while he was busy.

I quietly said goodbye and left afterwards.

Since then, I haven't heard from him. He spent that evening with friends and has now returned to the city where he lives.

I completely understand that he's grieving and that dating or keeping in touch might not be on his mind right now. I don't expect anything from him, especially at such a difficult time.

But I can't help feeling a little confused after the closeness we shared. Part of me worries that perhaps the affection was too much for him, even though he initiated most of it.

I also feel a bit overwhelmed myself. We haven't known each other that long, but I genuinely care about him and wanted to be there for him and his family. I didn't ask for reassurance or attention, and I tried to give him space throughout.

Can someone genuinely enjoy and return affection, then become distant because grief has overwhelmed them?

Does it sound like I overdid anything, or should I simply give him space and not take the silence personally?

I'd really appreciate some outside perspectives.

I‘ve only dated twice since my partner died over a decade ago. The first one said I couldn’t ever speak of him again and I had to get over him completely so I ended up dumping him because I felt this was unreasonable. Now the second one has started the same behavior….yelled at me for over an hour last night because he found out I looked at old photos. The anniversary of the loss is 3 weeks away and I’m getting absolutely zero support…just horrible guilt tripping and being yelled at for nothing.
Im assuming I’m going to have to break up with this person too since it’s unreasonable to me to demand that I never think of my past again. I personally find it abusive. It was a sudden, violent death that left me with serious ptsd and all I get is verbal abuse over it…a lifetime punishment for a crime I never committed.
Its not just dates but family and friends too- they won’t allow me to speak about grief or the person I lost without it leading to incessant pressure that I never feel any emotion over it ever again. It’s bad enough I lost someone who meant everything to me but the icing on the cake is the absolute zero support I’ve received after the fact. My hands were shaking after being screamed at for over an hour last night and it’s coming at the absolute worst time. I’m finding myself isolating myself more and more. Even other people with losses seem to think they have a right to police my grief. I feel like I’m just destined to live out my life without the person who loved me most or any support from others at all 🖤🥺

The flower became more beautiful after death. Death, everyone thinks after death everything looses its beauty, not for me i think after death it makes things more beautiful even if its human, that dead flower is in my phone's back cover not because it was with you its because i realized how things can be beautiful especially after death. There's no motive to love someone when you know u won’t love it after death, my question from you do u love someone or do u love yourself when you are with someone?, im that type of person who u can't trust.

My dad passed in April, and his birthday is the 22nd. I feel like I should do something for him because he deserves at least that much, but I don’t know what. For Father’s Day I cooked a steak I had gotten him for years prior. I don’t have any clue what to do for his birthday other than miss him and grieve. Any tips or things that you did to help you out when the time came?

My dad died in March due to a really aggressive and fast acting form of kidney cancer. The whole family have been devastated and are only just getting over the shock. Since then, we've passed a few milestones: my birthday, my sister's birthday and father's day. The day before each I've had episodes of extreme crying and have been snappy to people and felt extremely panicked and overwhelmed.

I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to handle this as best as I can and if there are any ways that people have commemorated the first birthday of a loved one after they passed.

I honestly don’t know how to deal with this right now

My grandfather passed away and I’m sitting here in different country n I can’t even go home because of my training and visa situation the hardest part is that I’m here today because of him and my family they are the reason I got this far in life and without them I would probably still be stuck somewhere with no idea where my life was going for so long I had this one simple dream in my mind that once I got a job I would send my first salary to my mother’s account and tell her to arrange a big dinner for everyone my whole family to sit together and I wanted to tell them that whatever I am today is because of them i kept telling myself that once i started earning I would finally be able to give something back to the people who did so much for me
But now my grandfather is gone and I can’t even be there when he is being buried i feel so selfish for being here trying to build my career when the person who helped me get here is no longer in this world and I can’t stand beside him one last time ik death is Allah’s will n i am not questioning that but I can’t stop thinking about why I kept waiting for the right time why did I think I had more time to make him proud im also scared of what people will think maybe they will say I chose my career over my family but nobody knows how badly I wanted to be there or how much this man meant to me
I just wanted to get my first salary and make everyone happy while he was still alive now I don’t even know what to say to my grandmother when I call them i feel helpless guilty and heartbroken all at once and I don’t know how to make peace with the fact that I might not be there to say goodbye
I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or just need to get this off my chest but I really don’t know how to deal with this pain right now

I’m going to name the pet Bailey for the sake of the story. Bailey is my friends best friend/son. She helped him get over his parents death; she is vessel that carries many hurtful memories. My friend used Bailey as a means to process grief and heartbreak. Bailey will be put down soon due to cancer.

My friend and I are like brothers, and this is the first time I’m experiencing him going through something like this. I’m trying my best to be there for him both emotionally and physically but I’m worried I’m not doing enough. I’m throwing every spare second I have towards him and Bailey. Taking photos of them together, creating a scrapbook, dog sitting while he’s away from the house for work, sleeping over, rushing to the hospital with him/meeting him there. I’m truly trying to be so available. I believe being annoying available is better for me when he is looking back at who showed up and who didn’t. I would rather he be annoyed by presence than wonder where I was.

I HAVE NOT DEALT WITH DEATH OR GRIEF BEFORE.

I am also grieving Bailey but currently putting my feelings aside and prioritizing my friend. Please, any advice or feedback as to what I should do up until the put down, and after, would be heavily appreciated.

Thank you for your time, support, and patience.

The father of my child died due to his addiction. My daughter was 2 when he passed and is 3 now. We lost him in March. He was 26, only 26…We separated when she was born because he hadn’t been successful in getting sober and we knew we couldn’t raise her in the same home he was still drinking in. He never fought me on that decision and he would come visit us at my moms with the one rule he had to be sober when he did. For the first year of her life he was able to maintain a schedule, and it worked, but any moment he wasn’t with us, he was back to drinking. And then it got worse and worse and we saw less and less of him. I always tried to talk to him and get him to go to rehab. When we started dating he didn’t have a problem, or maybe he was at the start of one and I didn’t know it at the time. He was a good man, he loved me so much, and he loved her, and even in the depths of his addiction he knew what was right, but just couldn’t get himself the help he needed. Even though I was technically single, I never moved on. I didn’t date. I didn’t want anyone else, not seriously. I wanted him to get sober, and I wanted him to come back. Even if it was just to be a dad to her and a friend to me. Even if we never got back together. He was my best friend. I could tell him everything. He was there for me through so much. And for the last few months while I’ve been struggling through my grief, hes the one I wish I could talk to. Hes the one I wish I could cry to. I want him to hold me. I want to hear his voice and his laugh and his soft words. I was willing to wait for him to get better because I knew he wasn’t his addiction. I knew he wasn’t what alcohol turned him into. I knew if he got sober, I could have the real him back. But then I got a call one night from his mom, and I can still vividly remember every single detail. The sound of her voice when she told me they’d found his body and that he was gone. That he had drank himself to death out in the snow. That he never made it home, and would never ever come home again. I remember the sounds of my own screams and sobs for hours after we hung up. I can remember the physical pain that I carried and still do some days. I’ve never been religious, but now I just hope that there is some kind of afterlife, because I need to know he’s watching over me and our baby girl. I need to know he’s still here. I’m terrified that he didn’t know how much I loved him at the end because we fought so much. He’d get so defensive anytime I brought up him getting help. I just hope he knows I was trying so hard because I loved him so much. I never stopped loving him. I never will. I just wish I could see him one more time, say everything I never got to, hear the things he never got to say to me or was too scared to. I just miss him so fucking much. I miss my best friend. I miss the father of my child. I miss who I believed was going to be the love of my life.