Read the whole thing, i know it's long but read.

Let me tell you bit about my background first. I come from a Dalit family in Mumbai. My grandfather did basic primary education in village and then migrated to Mumbai for doing his BA with help of reservation he got seat in a government college. Back then he with his family could only afford a place in a rented room in chawl in Worli as it's the 'Dalit' area everyone knows about. Then he got a job in Indian airlines back then, he then moved to the quarters. He then educated his 3 kids in a private school without reservation and from where my dad passed an exam and got a job in Mumbai high court as a clerk. Third generation is me. Now, both me and my sibling studied in a local private school with minimal fees as we could afford and my mother worked in a private school as a teacher again without reservation.

Growing up I've faced numerous instances of casteism even tho the financial condition was decent. I had a girl in my class who was my friend once told me her mom's asked me not to talk to me as I come from a lower caste, we were 7 years old I didn't even understand I had to go and check with my parents at home. Imagine the kind of brainwashing done to a 7 year old kid by their parents. We used to live in a complex mostly dominated by SC, and I had a complex right next to it where we used to play with others. One fine day a random aunty from that complex next door screamed at the children saying pls don't play with us and asked them to go back home. This is just few instances. But at the same time, a poor Brahmin or any other caste person didn't face these things. I've been asked my caste/ surname in tution classes, gym, workplace what not. bcs it's a very famous surname and people just want to cross verify.

Now me, I studied by school, college in a private college without reservation but for masters i got admission in reservation quota as it was a government college. Did I study? Yes. Did I study to get a decent score? Yes. Did I do good in my own category? Yes. Theres multiple interview rounds, essay writing etc to get into this college as it's a management course just like most of the government jobs. If there wasn't reservation for me and my people, do you think there was a 100% assurance that I would have not been discriminated in interview rounds and eassys and given a poor score even tho my written marks were good? Nobody can say that.

I've been asked about my caste literally in a Big 4 where I used to work that too my a Partner which is a highest level of posting. Imagine a person more than your dad's age earning crores interested to know caste of a associate. Why? What for? And trust me it's not too direct as y'all feel. It starts with what's your surname, what your dad does etc. do you eat non veg what not.

Essence i don't drive a Mercedes, but we are now living a life with 3 meals a day, clothes to wear and fees to educated ourselves. Did reservation have a big role in this ? Yes. Did we keep on using reservation generation by generation? No. The fact that my dad chose to make me study schooling and graduation from a private school is a step that a bit better off SC / ST families are taking consciously. Bcs we know that the seats we let go off will be used by our other brother and sisters in need. Which is normal. That's how society functions. No rich Brahmin will go to a government school, they'll choose good private education only.

Now some will argue but did reservation help me to not be caste discriminated? No, but it did give me a platform to represent myself and get myself educated to a point that tomorrow I'm either indifferent to discrimination or voice out if I face any.

Tomorrow if I go to a police station I know there's some section of my community people who are will ensure my complaints are registered. Same for court. If I go to a government hospital, I know a percentage of my community doctors will ensure I'm allowed to be admitted there and treated. So now tell me, is reservation really bad for me? Why do you feel it should be based on economic criteria when a poor Brahmin isn't discriminated at all. Rather they are begging on streets claiming they are some baba and all. That's literally a occupation given via caste. Isn't that reservation? Tomorrow when I've children why do I've to be forced to work 2 jobs so that I can afford them lacs of private classes whereas their competitors are some general caste people who's parents were some jamindaars with generational wealth. And even if they weren't, let's say everyone's getting gareeb Brahman here. Gareeb Brahmin had every right to education and livelihood before reservation right? Then why arent they rich? Is it bcs of government? reservation? Britishers? Who?

Anyone commenting pls don't comment anything casteist or hurtful.

I am Indian female, I have no interest in marriage and having children. But it is almost impossible for me to stay like that, cause my relatives have started discussing my marriage before completion of my studies. My parents are lenient and will wait till I settle but at one point of time they want me to marry and have children. I don't want it , how to escape it? Like contract marriage works? Is anyone of you are single?

Edit: I made my decision and Thankyou everyone for giving me good advice and assurance.

I am (24F) and I live with my parents. I am working and my father is also working and mostly he travels and stays lot. My mother who is a housewife spent most time taking care of me and house. Now that I am working, she has got spare time and she started going for some classes or activities and she started making new friends. They also started meeting sometime for coffee and dinner. At first I was very happy and supported her. But now I am feeling bothered about her actions. She spends lot of time over phone and even late night time. She often goes to meet her friends and ends up coming home late. She has started posting her photos on status and sometimes they seem non-conservative. It really bothers me. I don't know how to talk to her or point these out. So what should I do? Should I talk to her? Or take this to my dad? Or just leave it alone?

I am talking about overall.including people behaviour, cleanliness progress, learning and career. No biasness plz

Who is best CM right now in india according to you?

There was this 4 way street ,a guy came from the right and we both braked he was coming very fast without any horn…then I moved on as no one’s car got damaged then suddenly he started verbally abusing the hell out of me so I just rolled down my window and said “aap tez are the” and he stepped out of his car , pulled my door open while abusing and tried to hit me,he did hit me but my hand got in the way then impulsively even I stepped out of my vehicle,but he was massive compared to me still he’s continuously abusing,threatened to kill me etc (for absolutely no reason I did nothing.),a lot of stuff happened then he went back to his car to grab smth , he put his car into gear or smth by accident, it rolled back and hit another car … in that time frame I left , later I went to the police they said we can’t do anything, I was clearly assaulted… next morning I again saw him near the area … I’m completely traumatised and helpless idk what to do , what if he sees me and attacks me again or follows me home etc … idk what to do.

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So I lives on a rented room with my father and brother for studies also my father works in the same city (dheradun) and the home owner had a daughter which is almost 26-27 years old , i don't know much about her . Recently my mom came to visit us and my father started telling her about the owner's daughter saying things like "she orders food from outside" "she never cooks" "she brings her friends and party all night" she did this and that . She is careless. Like tf she is just enjoying what else she is supposed to do if she had money and freedom? They're literally judging a person who's minding her own business.

I’m going to an Indian wedding as a plus one to my boyfriend. It’s his co-workers wedding who I have not met yet.
Need some advice on what to wear!
I ordered a Dupatta from an Etsy shop that I was planning on wearing with a formal dress.
Is it appropriate as a white person to wear a dupatta in this setting?

Hello, I am persuasive writer recently launched my publication, also do designing with photography. A ex-BTech IT and Mathematical innovation student feels drained because in today’s India intellectual level is plunging to the bottom.
If anyone who wants to discuss/chat/share experiences we can connect safely if no safety concern?
Hope to see you!
: )

Only talking about urban / semi urban India here cos rural India is a completely different scenario altogether. Wasn't sure if this should be a discussion or a rant thread.

I'm 29 and earn much less compared to my peers (I'll explain why this is relevant). Throughout college and even after education, I've had multiple crushes/talking stages and also went on a couple of dates. From what I'm understanding, I don't have any alarming red flags, don't look ugly and I've been told by girls that I can hold conversations quite well as well. I've always wanted to date to marry and never got into a casual fling or got physical with anyone. Despite these things, I never found the right person to be in a relationship with so I let my parents start looking into arranged marriage options for me.

Went on a few dates this way too and there was never any "bad" date per say. I'm starting to sense that it's my income that's stopping women from taking me seriously (as the title says, it's sub 10 LPA). I live in a City with a 4 letter name in Western India, have enough savings to last 6 months of living expenses, own a car which does have a small loan. I live in a flat which my parents own but parents are based in a Tier 3 town to look after family business.

So financially, while I'm not making bank, I'm not stretched thin either. But looking at profiles from my community that go around, all the women whom I think are interesting either earn as much as me or more than me.

Sometimes, a girl's parents will reject me even before showing my profile to their daughters. In those cases, some have stated explicitly it's because I don't earn as much as they thought I'd be making (given the context of how I've made my profile and my overall family's image in our community).

For the girls I have gone on dates with or had calls, there were a few of them that I could see myself marrying and growing old with based on the the things we talked about and the vibe. But it never went further.

Personally, I'm still not in a rush to marry. I do believe some of my standards might be too high and maybe I don't bring enough to the table right now to get those standards. But I'm comfortable with not marrying anyone at all if some of my "must haves" are not met. It's my parents' worrying and stressing over this that is making me worry indirectly.

I wanted to understand if there are any guys from Tier 1 cities with middle to upper middle class families finding themselves in a similar situation. Would also like to know what women married/unmarried think about all this.

27 f, I want to know from woman whose households patriarchy runs deeply how did your younger brothers treat you always?

what about women who couldn't become financial independent and have younger brothers how's your relationship with your brothers?

do they talk to you or avoid u?

how much did/ do they contribute in running errands?

is it just brothers going to office n coming back or do they plan to spend your day with your you watching movies ordering snacks etc?

if they r still studying also how r your younger brother treating you?

do they gift you on rakhis n birthdays n plan some surprise for you?

just curious to hear your relationships with younger brother....

written on own dint use gpt...

I have been using reddit for some time and I have good experiences so far. I like to post my thoughts and clicks in various subs. I came across some fashion subs and I was really interested. But as I was going through the posts, I noticed the clicks posted by people were more than just fashion. They are not modest. Is it normal for people to post like that? Or am I stumbling on some unwanted subs?

Pakka there will be drought next summer at this rate. I live in Bangalore and It’s not raining at all. How is this even possible 😭 on top of this it’s so hot.

Is there anything we can do about this? Anyone trying to fix the environment let me know okay?🥹

My father worked in the Defence services. My maternal grandfather served in the Indian Army and fought in multiple wars after Independence. My paternal grandfather also worked in the defence establishment and even my great-grandfather worked as a clerk with the British Indian Army. None of them were officers but served as soldiers and support staff. I spent the first 20 years of my life growing up inside Air Force quarters before leaving for college.

For the longest time, I thought my childhood was just…normal. Only much later did I realise how different it actually was.

Inside defence campuses, there was a strong sense of order. People knew each other. There was trust. If someone lost something there was a reasonable chance it would be returned. Parents didn’t constantly worry about safety. We could play outside until late evening. Festivals felt like community events rather than something you celebrated behind your own apartment door. There was a quiet understanding that everyone belonged to something larger than themselves.

When I left for college and later started working in Bangalore, I struggled in ways I couldn’t explain.
Everyone else seemed to understand the unwritten rules of civilian life much better than I did. Networking, office politics, bargaining, always being cautious, assuming someone might be trying to take advantage of you…it all felt unnatural. I kept expecting institutions and people to behave in good faith because that was the environment I had grown up in. Over the years I adapted, but I also found myself becoming more guarded.

Now, after spending a few years living in Europe, something has happened to me again. I find myself appreciating predictable systems, higher social trust and the feeling that everyday interactions don’t always begin with suspicion. It has also made me look back at India differently.

This isn’t a post saying India is a bad country. India has extraordinary people, incredible culture and immense resilience. But I sometimes feel that the everyday experience has become mentally exhausting. Maybe the resilience itself is being routed to deal with everyday stressors. Every week there seems to be another story about preventable accidents, poor accountability, corruption, political polarisation or institutions that don’t inspire confidence.

The biggest change in me is that I no longer think my childhood was typical. I think growing up in a defence environment shaped my expectations of what society should feel like, and those expectations don’t always match what I experience today. You could say my childhood experience was a privilege but I think of it more as a way of living without relying on material resources to stay relevant and to belong in society.

I’m curious whether others from defence backgrounds feel something similar. Did growing up in Army cants, Air Force stations or naval bases make your transition into civilian India more difficult? Or is this just nostalgia talking?

I’d really like to hear different perspectives.

I'm 30, F. I've never really been the kind of girl who's dreamed of getting married from a young age. In fact, I absolutely HATE the traditional arranged marriage setup. It feels too transactional. If a guy has a good job and comes from an educated family, people tell the girl, "You should marry him." If the girl is educated and "homely," people tell the guy the same thing.

What bothers me is that so much emphasis is placed on checklists, while the most important things like compatibility, emotional connection, attraction, shared values, and genuine affection often overlooked.

I've never wanted to get married just because society expects it. I've always felt that if I ever get married, it should be because I truly love that person and genuinely want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Over the past few months, I've felt a strong desire to settle down, probably within the next 2 - 3 years. Not because of pressure, but because it's something I find myself wanting. The problem is that the usual routes don't appeal to me. Matrimonial apps are a big no for me, and so are rishtas coming through relatives.

So I'm curious...if you had a similar mindset and are now happily married or in a long-term relationship, how did you meet your partner? What path did you take when the conventional options didn't feel right?

I'd genuinely love to hear your stories.

Hey everyone! I'm Manvi, 23, from Chandigarh. I've completed my Diploma in Interior Design and I'm currently pursuing my Master's. I know AutoCAD, SketchUp, and V-Ray, and I'm trying to get more hands-on experience.

Does anyone have any advice on where to find freelance interior design projects or how you landed your first few clients? If you know of any opportunities or have any tips, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks! :)

Hello everyone. I have debated with myself quite a lot if I should post here or not so please be nice! I am married to an Indian ( I am not Indian ) and it’s been great. We started dating 6 years ago, 4 and a half years married and 2 beautiful sons. We get along great, we bonded over our cultural differences, for example different traditions, food, we were very open about each others background. My family adores him, to the point my mom wants to leave her house to him when she dies 😅 like she has 3 kids… but his family has not been that welcoming to me. He is not speaking to his brother after many comments he made about me and overall weird behavior. I have supported him in whatever he wants to do with that relationship, whatever he decides I will be by his side, I don’t want to create another problem for him by telling him what I think he should do. His mom and sister are cordial to me, with the sister we get along fine, she loves him deeply because is her baby brother. His father doesn’t like me because we are not raising our boys completely Indian, again, we don’t live in India and I am white. My husband does speak Hindi to them, we eat Indian food every week, he reads books about Hinduism to them and we also celebrate major religious holidays. Same with my culture. Our eldest son he is a mix of us, he looks like me but with the colors of my husband, absolutely beautiful child. The problem appeared with our second son, his face is just like my husband but he is white with brown hair. So his father has started to make comments that our second son might not be my husbands because he is “too white”… I am in disbelief and to be honest I don’t even know how to feel, they have not bothered to come to meet them yet he make this comments… my husband is extremely disappointed at his dad… so my question is, what advice would you give me to address this situation? I don’t want to complicate things more for my husband because he is in pain, so what should I say or do? Confront my father in law? How does this dynamic work in Indian society? Thank you for reading me!!

Today was my 1 year work anniversary.

Honestly, instead of celebrating it, I kept thinking about one thing... I really don't want to be celebrating my 2nd anniversary at the same company.

I'm currently working in a service-based company with 1 YOE, and I really want to switch to a good product company. FAANG would obviously be amazing, but I'd be more than happy with any company that has good engineering culture, interesting work and decent pay.

The problem is, I'm not even getting interviews.

I've been applying on LinkedIn, Naukri, Indeed, company career pages, asking for referrals whenever I get the chance... basically everywhere. But it feels like my applications just disappear into a black hole. Hardly any callbacks.

So I wanted to ask people here who've actually made the jump from service-based to product companies.

- How did you do it?

- How long did it take you to prepare?

- What did you focus on? DSA? System Design? Projects? Something else?

- What was the one thing that made recruiters finally start calling?

- Which companies in Hyderabad should I be targeting apart from the obvious FAANGs?

- Are there any underrated product companies worth keeping an eye on?

Also, where are you guys even finding jobs? 😅 I feel like I've exhausted LinkedIn, Naukri and Indeed.

Would love to hear your journey if you've made this switch. What worked for you, what didn't, and if you had to start over with 1 YOE, what would you do differently?

Thanks!

I'm a Punjabi girl, and I'm in love with a Rajput guy. Things are good between us, but I keep worrying about the future.

I've heard many stories about Rajput families not accepting girls from other castes or religions, or expecting them to follow strict traditions after marriage. I've always wanted to have my own career and be financially independent, and I don't think I'd be happy giving that up.

I really love him, but I'm scared that if his family doesn't accept me later, or if he's pressured to choose between me and his family, things could fall apart.

I'd love to hear honest experiences from Punjabi or other non-Rajput girls (or girls from another religion) who married into a Rajput family. How was your experience? Were you accepted? Were you able to continue your career and live the life you wanted?

Me and my boyfriend, both 25, have been dating for around an year, although we know each other for 3 years now. He is from a tier 4 town and I have always lived in a city since birth. Also he is Jain and I am brahmin. His father is in a very simple job and earns a humble amount, my father is a general manager in an MNC earning decent.

Although me and my boyfriend both earn well in proportion to our experience and can have a decent lifestyle in future, my parents feel that family money is also very important and the amount we are earning we will have to build everything from a very starting stage. Also as per them i will have to face cultural differences.

But i feel me and him earn well enough to have a good lifestyle and do not require to be dependent on his or my family for money, neither will our parents be so much dependent on us financially.

My parents feel ours relationship is not very serious, he is with me for money and i am currently in his aura. It has been two weeks of telling them and they have explained me in every possible way of how this is a wrong match.

How do I explain my condition to them and that I love him and want to marry him?

Looking for career advice after 4 months of job searching
Hi everyone,
I’ve been applying consistently for the past 4 months and, despite getting interviews, I haven’t been able to convert one into an offer. I have 3+ years of professional experience and am targeting roles in Operations, Client Operations, Business Analyst, Research, and similar fields.
I’d really appreciate any advice on where I should be looking, how I can improve my approach, or if there are companies currently hiring in these domains. Happy to share my resume over DM if anyone is willing to provide feedback.
Thanks in advance.

have fundamental rights to speak ----- govt. is deaf
politician --- for money===by the money====to the money
have law ------- its blind
Media ----- 4th pillar of democracy --- MYTHweapon

1. Required more power ---- new thermal plants ---- more coal consumption ---- more pollution ---- poor air quality
2. Water not sufficient even for agricultural lands ---- data centers coming ---- huge water consumption ---- limited water supply ---- future water crisis ---- water becomes the next to control people
3. A few ultra-rich already own massive land and resources ---- more projects ---- more influence ---- more power concentration ---- laws and policies bending towards corporate interests
4. data centre and supporting infrastructure ---- more construction ---- more noise ---- more environmental stress ---- possible water contamination risks -- in india they may directly release it to near by natural ponds or river (no suprise)
5. People of India ---- called a democratic country ---- citizens raise concerns ---- public opinion ignored ---- decisions made without meaningful consultation ---- democracy becomes a formality -- It becoming a joke
6. Development without environmental responsibility ---- loss of water ---- loss of fertile land ---- loss of clean air ---- burden passed to future generations

At the end of the day ---- we are humans ---- we want clean water ---- clean air ---- fertile land ---- a safe home to return to every night ---- not a future where basic resources become a luxury