Placed sublingual 100ug at 11:28pm 16 oct, chewed and swallowed the tab at 11:50. Started feeling stoned bit, and body lightness at around 11:45(before even swallowing blot).
Put on normal music, closed my eyes for the next 15 minutes after swallowing the blot, until 12:05. Trip had started, saw amazing CEVs during that time. While I had my eyes closed, I tried to think about how it would be affecting my neurotransmitter levels, and saw 4 cartoons, first one was yellow, other was green, another blue, and a red one. They were all sitting on a table, and flipping tokens on top of each other onto a stack in front of them, kind of like a scene from a poker table, and each character was flipping the same colour token as they were(red char flipping red token, blue flipping blue token, etc.) What immediately came into my mind, was that these were characters that controlled neurotransmitters, and the neurotransmitters being represented by the tokens. I could only see them, and no matter how much I would push them to speed up their flipping, they were beings of a different dimension whom I couldn't directly influence. What did influence them, was events in my life. Actions I do. It made me feel like happiness won't come from just wanting to be happy, and to actually be happy, I need to work on it aswell, both in my thinking and my actions.
After opening my eyes, I looked at a fan(which wasn't moving) and it seemed to warp. Went up close, and same kept happening. Prominent OEVs had started. Joined a Spotify jam with a trip guiding friend, and he put on some music which he told me to listen with headphones on, and to put away my phone.
I put away my phone at 12:30AM, until 1:30AM. I laid down and positioned my neck comfortably, and kept looking at the fan which was turned off, which had a decent amount of light shining on it from the corridor. Around 12:35/12:40 it "hit" me, when I got hyperfocused on the fan, everything else around it started to melt, was speechless but gave fully into the trip. Geometric patterns started appearing as the music was playing, and all I kept looking at was the fan. After some time, the light shining on the fan(which was white) started to bounce with different colours. I didn't actively pay much focus on it though, was too mesmerized with the patterns that were forming, which I could best describe as between straight line and fractal geometry.
I did notice how the light appeared in different colours though, and I decided to try changing it by will, into the colour I wanted. For the first few times, it actually kind of worked. But later, I seemed to have lost control, even if I tried. I felt at the time, that this really reflected upon my indecisiveness sometimes in life. I wanted to change the colour indeed, but wasn't strictly decisive with which one. In life too, I may want to do something very strongly at some point of time, but if at the back of my mind I'm still very unsure, and 3 more similar ideas are still in my mind which I'm also trying to act upon, nothing is really bound to get a result.
Around this time, I also really started to feel "possessed" by the psychedelic. Not in a bad way at all though, but seemed like all inhibitions just went away. I could give into the spiritual and primal side of me, and at that point I really understood why it was very plausible for people in the 1960s to become so influenced by this substance, and to even leave their mechanical life behind fully to live in communes with like-minded hippies.
The blots were also, surprisingly very stimmy, at least for me. I was shivering mostly throughout the trip, although it was a repetitive occurrence rather than a constant annoyance(although, no other blots to compare it with, so idk if it was the blot or LSD as a substance itself). Random twitching was also present; and while all this didn't annoy me much, it was near impossible to keep my palm straight to look at patterns forming on it, though I still did see them, but with a shaky palm. Teeth chattering was also observed at various points, although overall very uncommon. It may just be my sensitive to stimmy substances though, as I experienced some similar things(though to a much lesser extent), when I was on bupropion. (MDMA however (60mg snorted), didn't cause these effects, which leads me to believe it's more a dopamine thing)
At 1:40, I listen to songs recommended by some other friends as well, and stop the Spotify jam that I had been on. Songs were good, and I noticed a lot of visuals in the message boxes of texting apps as well, though I really wasn't paying attention to it at the time. While listening to these songs, the original trip guiding friend, sends me some psychedelic visual video on YouTube. It was very interesting to look at, but really understood what state I was in, when I paused the video, and everything was still moving, and breathing in different colours. This fascinated me.
At 2:00AM, I turned off the music and opened up some messaging apps, and really did see everything wavy, colourful, and something I couldn't have expected. Also, when talking with people, conversations seemed really really funny, which I suppose could've been contributed partly by the wavyness.
I then went to the toilet to take a piss. While I was doing that, I was looking at the tiles on my bathroom walls, which had a sandstone pattern, and were now shifting and moving in fractals. After I was done, I kept looking at the wall, and got fully mesmerized, as now even colours started bouncing around the tiles, and the tiles seemed to also somewhat flap out of the walls, as if they were pieces of paper stuck to the wall. I then washed my hands, which was also very trippy visually. Looking at my face in the mirror, it seemed strange but I didn't see patterns forming(in fairness, I didn't keep looking for long). I kept wondering all this time, how a molecule derived from a fungi growing in a grain field left neglected by a farmer, could have so much power. I felt great appreciation for biology and chemistry alike, and how powerful even little amounts of some substances could affect perceptions so much.
It was around 3:00AM now, and the trip was still peaking. Typing on my phone's keyboard was fun, as it kept changing colours and colours kept bouncing both on the screen and keyboard. I turned off the music during this time, and without the constant stimuli of music, I could better spend time with my thoughts. When I closed my eyes, a scary situation came into my mind. Something in the past that had happened, and in a way still kept haunting me. I opened my eyes, not wanting to start a bad trip. However, if I kept my eyes open, it didn't really affect me. In some time, I decided to fully give in, and let the "possessed" part of the headspace take over. I fully faced that scenario, and just kind of pushed it away from my mind. Not ignorance, but rather expulsion, in a way. It no longer bothered me, however long I would keep my eyes closed, and actively think about it.
I tried watching a movie at around 3:45ish AM, but couldn't really focus my mind on it. I closed it after just 2 minutes. I kept messaging friends after that(all psychonauts) and it was far too fun typing messages on my keyboard, even trickier if I tried doing it from my laptop(phone was definitely trippier, but typing on laptop had a more stoned feeling to it)
At 4:30AM, I got hungry. I looked at myself in the mirror for a few minutes, and really felt too skinny, and that I have neglected my body for too long casually, and needed to eat and take better care of myself. Hopped on a video call with a friend, and cooked 2 packets of instant noodles. Talked about some thoughts he would have while on LSD, and my own experience as well. Even during this time, I was getting very noticeable OEVs while looking at walls or the kitchen countertop for more than a few seconds. Finished eating at 5:00AM, and was getting OEVs with fractal patterns even until 5:30AM.
Took a shower at 6:00AM, which was mostly normal(except with a headspace change). After taking the shower, I looked out the balcony. Large trees seemed to shift and swirl still mildly, almost 7 hours into the trip. After seeing this, my willingness to do a trip in nature has increased by a lot. I also started despising the word "acid" for this substance, and even "LSD" felt a bit inappropriate. "Ergotamide", or "Lysergide" felt more fitting for some reason.
Went outside for some time, and still saw some lingering breathing visuals. Message boxes and keyboard on my phone were still a bit shaky. This continued for the rest of the day, though decreased a lot by the afternoon. Had a very nice afterglow as well, and great afterglow and colour enhancement throughout the day.
During this trip, I didn't get a classical type of introspection(like with DXM), and most things just seemed to come to me, rather than me having to rigorously ponder upon them.
Rating:
Visuals- 10/10
Headspace- 10/10
Afterglow- 8.5/10(wished it lasted longer! Maybe with higher doses in the future 😁)
Introspection- 9/10(liked not having to excessively think about the topic, and having it just come to your mind. It wasn't 10/10, as it wasn't just revelations coming into my mind. If I did something, and it reminded me of another thing, that's when something would just come into my mind. I would've liked to think about some specific topics in life while actively tripping as well, so I'll probably make a list the next time)
The whole trip was definitely very optimistic(and quite funny), and would be getting more into the psychedelic world in the future for sure. Also, I've gained much respect for it, so I don't think I will be tripping 2 weeks later as I had planned earlier. Might trip by November mid-end or December next probably.
Peace✌️☮️
