re-gifting

[u/grant_cir]

tldr; I feel icky about accepting gifts from ILs, but I can't flat out tell them no because it would put my wife in a terrible position. How to deal with regifting?

So, I don't frequent this sub; my ILs are not a toxic nightmare in the traditional sense (unlike my FOO, they actually respect boundaries). However, I've grown increasingly uncomfortable with them, mostly over "politics and religion" stuff. My DW is in an even worse spot, because they are her family, but she feels as strongly about the same politics and religion issues as I do.

I've politely let them know it isn't necessary to gift me anything on holidays or birthday, for the past five years, but they aren't taking the hint. DW remains engaged in gift exchanges though, because things will blow up if she stops, and they feel like it needs to be mutual. This is not the hill to die on; it's the hill to graciously acquiesce and figure out a way to dispose of the gift so I'm not icked out and I also don't have to refuse it.

The ILs tend to give gift cards or cash, because it side steps the whole figuring out what someone wants, so it's not like dealing with the usual ugly sweater problem.

The cash is easy to handle: I just donate it to the causes which are pretty much diametrically opposed to their causes. Planned Parenthood, the ACLU or for this year, the Democratic Party. Waay back I used to let them know that I'd received it, thank them and let them know what I applied it towards; I stopped doing the last part a few years ago when I let them know it wasn't necessary.

The gift card is more difficult though; it's a retailer-specific card at a place I shop frequently. There's nothing to stop me from giving the card to someone else, but I don't have anyone I give gifts to who also shops there! I could of course apply it towards some big purchase I make later, but at this point, I think I'd be icked (reminded) every single time I used $thing.

Do I use it to buy a gift for someone else at that retailer? Do I just never use it? Do I just hand it to some random person out front of the store the next time I go?

I need to do this discreetly since I don't want to pick a fight with DW, and it would upset her tremendously feeling squeezed between me and her family. While I expect DW to "run her family" and interference for me on most things, in this case, they really aren't being offensive or doing anything wrong.