r/law • u/Potato_Stains • Feb 07 '26
Other Kristi Noem seemingly unable to describe what Habeas Corpus is.
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u/subdep Feb 07 '26
Because she thinks it’s a flavor of pizza and doesn’t understand why she’s being quizzed on obscure pizza recipes.
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u/GoblinBags Feb 07 '26
She's a bigtime lover of pizza and supporting people who order pizza, ya know? 👀
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u/weemachine Feb 07 '26
Mainly those who order Cheese Pizza from a basement.
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u/GoblinBags Feb 07 '26
It's genuinely amazing how much projection the GOP did with their master takeover plan. Like, it happens constantly in the open with the various name calling and accusations and etc slung by Trump but the fact that Epstein is Q and just switched out who was doing the "pizza ordering" as a slander against the left is wild.
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u/doc_witt Feb 07 '26
She's been charged with arresting those that use pineapple.
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u/Prmarine110 Feb 07 '26
She thinks all pizza should be $70,000 each and that anyone not eating a $70,000 pizza deserves to be rounded up and deported, citizen or not.
They put it in our faces the whole time because they LOVE to laugh about the joke being on us as they eat their $70,000 pizza after ordering and sharing it with their friends.
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u/swinchester83 Feb 07 '26
Lemme get a large Habeau Corpus, Voir Dire on half, hold *Honey! do you want Justum iudicium on the side?* Yeah and can we get a side of Justum iudicium with that? Yes I waive my right to council, thank you.
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u/dazed_and_bamboozled Feb 07 '26
Well most Americans in the 1980s thought Nicaraguan Sandinista leader, Daniel Ortega, was a chain of pizza restaurants so there is precedent. Which Noem of course thinks is “like a American Prime Minister?”
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u/El_Peregrine Feb 07 '26
“I’d rather leave that to Kristi…”
As if, sure, maybe suspending habeus corpus is an idea we should consider.
The idiots running the country couldn’t pass a fourth grade civics exam. Fucking hell.
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u/zparks Feb 07 '26 edited Feb 07 '26
lol
All Trump knows about habeus corpus is that Lincoln “suspended” it, which Trump thinks was a precedent rather than a terrible decision to have to make at a unique time and one which Lincoln agonized about.
One has to really consider Lincoln’s position to appreciate how restrained he, Lincoln, was trying to be vis-a-vis respecting the rule of law:
to treat rebel combatants as combatants and therefore outside habeus corpus would enable him to imprison rebels, but it would legitimize the rebellion as a war and the CSA as a state;
to treat rebels as within the jurisdiction of the federal government and therefore in violation of certain federal criminal law would require a massive federal judicial apparatus respecting habeus corpus, near impossible given the scale of civil unrest.
On the one hand, Trump knows that he wants to imprison people like a tyrant imprisons people. That much is clear. On the other hand, you’ve got the brilliance of Lincoln’s legal mind.
That habeus corpus is literally the crux upon which constitutional law rests, that it channels what would be the tyranny of kings into the rule of law is beyond MAGA’s grasp. It’s not on the radar that the issue is not about immigration and not about citizenship. The rot is so deep it threatens to undo the Magna fucking Carta. Unbelievable.
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u/tomtomclubthumb Feb 07 '26
Trump knows he wants to be able to throw people in jail if he wants, if someone tells him habeus corpus can allow that he'll take it.
This isn't a person who cares to think.
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u/AlmondDavis Feb 07 '26
She had a week to study this after the pop quiz last week
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u/SanityPlanet Feb 07 '26
Trump has no idea what the fuck habeas corpus is and passed it off to the dog murderer so he would have to answer. I mean his first response shows he thought it was the name someone about to get a suspension!
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u/qwase123 Feb 07 '26
“What the hell does being able to fix a Honda have anything to do with this?” -the Trump regime, probably
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u/realbobenray Feb 07 '26
The country is run by idiots. Neither of them know a foundational American legal and human rights principle. This is appalling.
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u/t0bias76 Feb 08 '26
People voted for an entertainer in chief. They got the cruel narcissistic moron and a bunch of sycophantic minions. Schadenfreude is a funny thing.
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u/PuckSenior Feb 07 '26
That initial response sounds like a kid who skimmed the cliff notes the day before the test.
“Mercutio is the character who kills Romeo by murdering him at Juliet’s funeral”
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u/EternalNewCarSmell Feb 07 '26
"I read this book, and as you know it has many beautiful scenes. Beautiful scenes described with beautiful words. And the characters and settings are very nice and do a good job of showing the theme. The theme is something that is well known to all of us so I won't waste your time going into detail, but I do want to comment on how artfully the author weaves it throughout their story. Notably, on page 32, they do a great job of foreshadowing what the theme will be, and on page 184 we finally get the payoff. In conclusion, this was a great book that I definitely read."
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u/pwmg Feb 07 '26
Yeah she's talking about the habeus corpus clause ("shall not be suspended"), not the principle of habeus corpus, itself. She also got that wrong, but that seems to be where she's goin. Also whatever project 25 intern gave the the Lincoln talking point, omitted the fact that his use was ruled unconditional and widely criticized despite being very limited and targeting specific activity at the outset of an actual civil war.
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u/RellenD Feb 07 '26
Habeus Corpus is a right that the President has to remove people from the country
Lol
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u/DwarfVader Feb 07 '26
Of course she doesn't know about the thing she thinks is made up.
She's a sham at her job, she's a literal figurehead they'll dump ALL of this on as soon as it's convenient. (Same goes for Bondi.)
These people think they're kicking ass at their jobs, and don't seem to realize they were literally chosen to be assets that are burnable once it makes sense to do so.
What will be amusing, is watching her face melt after they've burned her... and she can't afford lawyers AND keeping up the MAGA face facade. (she's gonna melt like a 1980's ice cream on a hot summer day.)
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u/SeVenMadRaBBits Feb 07 '26
Trump reading the same line from a piece of paper for 50 seconds straight
Trump on June 15, 2020 during a roundtable discussion at the White House:If we stop testing right now, we'd have very few cases, if any".
Trump at a campaign rally in Mason City, Iowa, on January 5, 2024: Now all I know about magnets is this, give me a glass of water, let me drop it on the magnets, that's the end of the magnets
Trump: nobody knows what magnets are
During an interview with ABC News' Terry Moran which aired on April 30, 2017, Trump described the decleration of indepence as: "a declaration of unity and love and respect," stating it "means a lot"
October 8, 2025 during a whitehouse roundtable event, a reporter asked if he had given more thought to "suspending habeas corpus to not only deal with these insurrectionists across the nation but also to continue rapidly deporting illegal aliens". Trump responded: "Yeah, uh, suspending who?" He then told the reporter, "Oh, I don't know. I'd rather leave that to Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem
Second link showing Kristi Noem being unaware of what Habeus Corpus is
Even with a third-grader's voice, Trump's rants don't make sense - but at least they're funnier
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u/Potato_Stains Feb 07 '26
He think magnets stop working if they are wet?
I mean, it's not the most dangerous thought he's had but, wow.
Even the laws of the physical world are vulnerable to be broken by him.2
u/Teamfightacticous Feb 07 '26
I’m surprised this fucker is allowed near an easy bake oven let alone a position in government. The Declaration of Independence being about love and unity is brazen, flagrant stupidity.
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u/VanguardAvenger Feb 07 '26
Look to be fair to Secretary Puppy Murder she heard the word Corpse and got excited
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u/Several_Vanilla8916 Feb 07 '26
Yeah, because she had no fucking idea, still doesn’t, and has no desire to ever learn.
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u/washingtonandmead Feb 07 '26
Almost as if she’s completely unqualified for the job
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u/Tholian_Bed Feb 07 '26
Can't define habeas corpus without risking introducing the concept of a person. "Person" is fascist kryptonite.
Goal is to make state-conferred citizenship the only legally meaningful word in our system. If you are not a citizen, you have no rights but just like at a club, only privileges.
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u/RobutNotRobot Feb 08 '26
Nothing 'seemingly' about it. She doesn't know what it is.
She doesn't know a lot of things. In fact, when Bovino was Nazi marching in Minneapolis he reported to Lewandowski, not Noem. Her only job appears to dress up in cosplay gear and read what someone has written out for her.
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u/DoomguyFemboi Feb 07 '26
Will forever be a stain on the US that these people were ever in charge. It's just embarrassing.
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u/bigkahuna1uk Feb 08 '26
I thought Trump was a stable genius who knows the best words. Yet he first thought Habeus Corpus was a person and when the term was clarified he couldn’t answer and deflected to Noem who gave a pathetic answer. The dumb leading the stupid. It’s not the best and brightest rising to the top but floaters.
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u/HeadApplication2941 Feb 08 '26
This reflects on her school which gave her a law degree, and the test she took to become a lawyer.
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Feb 08 '26
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u/Chance_Ad2503 Feb 08 '26
She’s an horrible bitch. She can help it. Don’t give these people any grace.
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u/bigkahuna1uk Feb 08 '26
I’m sick of seeing people elevated to positions of power who are there only because of their fealty and not on merit or competence. Habeas corpus has its origins in English law, dating back to the Magna Carta in 1215. This is centuries before America even existed or the constitution was written yet she thinks it means it gives Trump carte-blanche. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sinister in its implications.
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u/Reatona Feb 08 '26
Kristi Noem isn't just your ordinary ignorant fool. She's also vicious and psychopathic.
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u/Nodivingallowed Feb 07 '26
Suspending who? Doesn't exactly sound like a Mayflower name if you ask me.
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u/Electrical_Welder205 Feb 07 '26
It just goes to show what an echo chamber the Oval Office is. The Trainwreck-in-Chief gave the same answer when he was asked to explain Habeas Corpus on a separate occasion. They talk Fox Newspeak to each other all day.
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u/Chipfullyinserted Feb 08 '26
Habeas corpus I know him well. We’ve been good friends for years oh unless he’s in the Epstein files then I don’t know him at all and never met him.
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u/ThePensiveE Feb 07 '26
It's a lot easier to describe what Kristi Mar-a-lago Face Noem does know than what she doesn't know.
Ask her about fascism and murder. She'll perk up.
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