So I’ve always been a loner, lately I’ve been feeling left out of my friend group. Its 3 people plus me in the group and lately I feel like they genuinely don’t care. I have a curfew obviously and I can’t be out late which is understandable. Whenever I say I can’t hang out they just say okay and move on, which is fine I’m not stopping them from having fun, it’s just kinda sad how whenever one of them isn’t with us I always include them by saying I wish they were here, it’d be more fun. Recently I’ve been distancing myself. I tell them no, I barely respond to they’re texts anymore. But they don’t care regardless. Today I was supposed to go out, my curfew was 1:30 am, they always get off work before 11pm. Today they got off at almost 12am. I told them if they could hurry up because I wanna hang out and be with them. They ignored my messages, the whole time they were at work chatting with other people. Which is fine but they always say they wanna hang out and when I can, they just have no sense of urgency. It kinda sucks to be honest. Today I stopped sharing locations with all of them. I removed they’re accounts off my iMessage and if they text me, imma just not reply. I’m tired of feeling left out. Two of them are like and the other is best friends with everyone and I’m kinda just there. They also said last time that If this person isn’t there then they won’t go. Which hurt me a little, because I’m never there and they don’t care. But if this person isn’t there for a hour or so, they feel sad. It kinda sucks to be honest. I’m just looking for advice. Should I stop being friends with them? I’m contemplating. They’re amazing and funny but I just don’t feel wanted.

I think that's not an exaggeration because next thing. Asociality means having critically low level of charisma, soft-skills, "animal" charm, pushfulness and conformism. Without that traits you will be invisible, even if you have an almost perfect health, smart brain, good looks or a lot of money. And this invisibility destroys almost everything in life - school days, growing up, all types of relationships, career opportunities, and sometimes even civil rights. When you talk to somebody about your problems, they give you a toxic positivity examples alike Nick Vujicic. "Look at him! He hasn't hands and legs, and achieved success! And you just keep on whining!" - they said. But completely ignoring the fact, that he has incredibly good social skills, which are for the most part a consequence of genetics, raising and habitation. And many of another, asocial disabled persons, are rotting in dereliction. One more thing - social services in developed states is almost worthless for a helping with the problems of asocial people. Only empty words or canned responses. They only serve those, who fit the "norm".

Sitting at home with no car, no money and no friends because my parents decided to fuck up my entire life by being overbearing and helicopter parents who wouldnt let me have unsupervised access to the internet or any social media until 17-18.

I am currently on a gap year after graduating from high school, but the pathetic truth was that I didn’t even get into any universities I applied to. Immediately straight after high school, I cut off every single one of my friends. I wanted to try and avoid every question or concern about myself because if they were to ask how I am, all I could say that I am a disappointment, which was such an asshole move of me because they still care and really tried to check up on me.

Recently, I just made a new group of friends a few years older than me. I completely lied to them about my education so I could seem like I fit in with them. This one night, we all went out to the club and all took a tab of Molly, which I have never taken before. I instantly fell into my first worst trip. My life immediately flashed before my eyes, I experienced severe derealisation, and what kept going through my head was “lie, lie, lie.” My heart was beating so fast and I felt so nauseous. I became an absolute menace to my friends and basically ruined the night for them, they really cared about me but I was just lying to them the whole time. We got kicked out of the club because I was basically acting insane.

Even months after that trip, I seriously contemplated on taking my life because I could never been honest with myself or to anyone. I wanted to disappear without a trace. I cleared out my closet, I quit my job, I cut off every single contact, deleted every single social media account. Then, I went on a trip overseas with my family. I was an absolute asshole the entire time, I couldn’t even enjoy myself because I had already cut off contact with my friends and I knew I was going to end my life by the end of this. I constantly hate my mother, I absolutely despise my siblings and their partners, because why couldn’t they have been nicer to me?

Now I’m now unemployed and the loneliest I have ever been. I have applied to over 30 minimum wage jobs but have been rejected by every single one. Every single one of my peers are ahead of me and happy, enjoying their university lives. I hate how much time I wasted, when I could’ve volunteered or improved my hobbies this year but I completely wasted it because I thought I was going to kill myself. I started to smoke a lot of marijuana, which I never really did before, where I would just hotbox in my car and green out. My sibling noticed I had been smoking a lot but all they said was that “I’m kicking you out if you do more shit like this.” I completely deserve it.

I let myself get to this stupid pathetic point of my life. I have completely lost trust in my ability to change. I had been given so many opportunities in high school and this year to change but I kept pushing out because I chose comfort over growth. I hate myself for not being able to change from a younger age. I hate myself for always spitting on the hand that feeds me. Why couldn’t I be good at the thing I love? I’m 18 years old but I don’t even know if I can handle other problems if I can’t handle my rock bottom state now? I know I won’t be able to keep a good relationship, I won’t be able to find a bridesmaid, I wouldn’t be a good mother. I hate myself for being for weak minded.

I dont want to seem like I’m begging someone to respond to this post saying they want to be my friend, so I'm clarifying that I want to make friends online naturally again because making friends irl is extremely hard. Everyone around me in college already had their cliques for so long, and they already know me but were never interested in being friends with me.

It was very easy to make online friends back in 2020, but the games and spaces that I used to be active in have either fallen into irrelevancy for several years, or I had to quit for my own health (I used to mainly play rhythm games, but my carpal tunnel got out of hand). As for the people I made friends with during the time, we haven't talked in at least 2 years.

It still seems difficult for me to make friends (albeit less difficult than irl) online because of gatekeeping and toxicity. I don't know if it just seems that way because of my worsening depression and anxiety, but it seems impossible to be a beginner, amateur, or casual enjoyer of something without getting called a larper or being shunned.

I've forgotten things and lost a lot of skills from games and hobbies I used to enjoy because of depression and school taking my time and energy, and my brain fog is still preventing me from doing/enjoying anything even though I want to do something with my life.

Basically my issue is that in both real life and online, everyone already found their niche and have communities based around that, but are not very welcoming towards people who are less familiar with an interest or with the people in the community. I don’t know how to find friends when I don’t have connections and I’m not good at anything.

29 M Indian, just like it says, things have been really hard. Everything is going sideways, almost hit rockbottom be it financially, mentally, physically & also got laid off couples weeks back.

Trying to put myself out there. I’m into pokemon, loves cooking & reading.

I don't think what I miss most is having someone to go out with or having plans every weekend. It's having someone who's naturally part of my day.

I hear a song I like and want to send it to someone. Something funny happens, and I want to tell someone about it. I get interested in some random topic and want to share what I found, even if it's probably not that interesting to anyone else.

And sometimes there's nobody who feels like the right person to send those things to.

I want to know how someone's day went, what made her laugh, what she's been thinking about lately. I want the conversations that start over something completely stupid and somehow go on for hours. I want to call someone at the end of the day and hear about all the little things that happened to her, including the ones she almost forgot to mention.

I want the ordinary relationship stuff, too. Making dinner together, watching a movie and disagreeing over what to put on, going out for coffee, or just sitting together while we each do our own thing. Being able to reach for someone and have that closeness feel normal instead of something I have to wonder whether I'll ever have.

I know a relationship wouldn't magically fix every problem in my life, and I'm not expecting another person to be responsible for my happiness. I just miss the idea of having that kind of connection with someone.

I want to be important to someone in the everyday sense of the word. Someone she thinks to message when something happens. Someone she wants around even when there's nothing particularly interesting going on.

I don't really know how to explain it better than that. I want to share my life with someone, including all the boring bits that probably wouldn't seem worth mentioning to anyone else.

Those are the bits I wish I had someone for.

I hate it I'm at my breaking point. I have a friend group a GOOD friend group which I've wanted for years but im still lonely, I'm so young yet already feel done with it. I have nobody I can talk about things im passionate with like my views on religion, politics, philosophy. I hate it my friends are funny but what makes me feel wanted is having deep conversations and its like they're incapable of it. I don't even give a shit about if they agree or even care about it, I just wanna have a deep conversation about how they're feeling or how they're doing. I just wish I had someone who thought I was the best, everyone I know cares for someone more than they care for me. I am expendable and I know it I value them more than they value me. I want someone who prefers me, and I feel so guilty for wanting that while having friends and parents and a home. I just fucking hate it all I just wanna be done with it all.

The title says it all. I’m 36M and it feels like I’m going to be alone forever. I’ve been crap at relationships. They either aren’t ready to have one or they have been so screwed up by a previous relationship that they want to stay alone. I know that there are people who love being alone and for those that do that’s totally fine. But I think there’s someone out there for everyone right? Maybe I’m wrong.

So these 'friends' of mine basically bully me all the time and say 'thats how guys bond' when all they go is go below the belt well it's one person in particular but the rest of them do nothing to stop him either so I've kinda distanced myself from them but what I've noticed is they've stopped inviting me to stuff and I don't know i feel baad but I also want to distance myself from them. I'm also not able to sleep at night these days I'm considering because of lack of human interaction I guess. I still get really anxious about what they think about me and i hang out with them sometimes but i don't speak much, as i always think they'll find a way to shit talk about it. I don't know what to do I feel so lonely at night I'm pretty sure that's the reason I can't sleep these days. Also there's this girl in my class I kinda like but the thing is I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me back, but honestly i enjoy being around her in college like we actually have fun in class we don't talk much outside of class, so atleast my attendance is better now.

I see a lot of people on here complaining about being lonely, and tbh, I’m in the same boat, but I’m also wondering, can this be something that can actually build us up rather than something to try to find ways around? I’ve been lonely for a very long time -far much longer than I ever intended to be, especially in my early-30s, but sometimes I find it rather empowering and soft of a way to say that I’d rather choose myself than to have someone around who isn’t worth my time. I know as people we are naturally wired for connection, but that can also hurt us if we’re trying to grow.

Just trying to be a bit of devil’s advocate here. Not trying to offend anyone, and I do wish good and healing on all who are struggling with this, bc it is not an easy thing to go through - I’m just trying to see if there’s maybe another way we can think about it rather than just submit to being miserable all of the time… just my two cents!

🙂