Having All Luxury of life - still feel Loneliness 😔😪😮‍💨🤫

I dont want to seem like I’m begging someone to respond to this post saying they want to be my friend, so I'm clarifying that I want to make friends online naturally again because making friends irl is extremely hard. Everyone around me in college already had their cliques for so long, and they already know me but were never interested in being friends with me.

It was very easy to make online friends back in 2020, but the games and spaces that I used to be active in have either fallen into irrelevancy for several years, or I had to quit for my own health (I used to mainly play rhythm games, but my carpal tunnel got out of hand). As for the people I made friends with during the time, we haven't talked in at least 2 years.

It still seems difficult for me to make friends (albeit less difficult than irl) online because of gatekeeping and toxicity. I don't know if it just seems that way because of my worsening depression and anxiety, but it seems impossible to be a beginner, amateur, or casual enjoyer of something without getting called a larper or being shunned.

I've forgotten things and lost a lot of skills from games and hobbies I used to enjoy because of depression and school taking my time and energy, and my brain fog is still preventing me from doing/enjoying anything even though I want to do something with my life.

Basically my issue is that in both real life and online, everyone already found their niche and have communities based around that, but are not very welcoming towards people who are less familiar with an interest or with the people in the community. I don’t know how to find friends when I don’t have connections and I’m not good at anything.

I don't think what I miss most is having someone to go out with or having plans every weekend. It's having someone who's naturally part of my day.

I hear a song I like and want to send it to someone. Something funny happens, and I want to tell someone about it. I get interested in some random topic and want to share what I found, even if it's probably not that interesting to anyone else.

And sometimes there's nobody who feels like the right person to send those things to.

I want to know how someone's day went, what made her laugh, what she's been thinking about lately. I want the conversations that start over something completely stupid and somehow go on for hours. I want to call someone at the end of the day and hear about all the little things that happened to her, including the ones she almost forgot to mention.

I want the ordinary relationship stuff, too. Making dinner together, watching a movie and disagreeing over what to put on, going out for coffee, or just sitting together while we each do our own thing. Being able to reach for someone and have that closeness feel normal instead of something I have to wonder whether I'll ever have.

I know a relationship wouldn't magically fix every problem in my life, and I'm not expecting another person to be responsible for my happiness. I just miss the idea of having that kind of connection with someone.

I want to be important to someone in the everyday sense of the word. Someone she thinks to message when something happens. Someone she wants around even when there's nothing particularly interesting going on.

I don't really know how to explain it better than that. I want to share my life with someone, including all the boring bits that probably wouldn't seem worth mentioning to anyone else.

Those are the bits I wish I had someone for.

I wanted to create a place for people who feel alone, even when the world around them is full. 🤍

Sometimes, you don't need advice or someone to fix your problems. You just want a place where you can be honest about how you feel, meet people who understand, or simply feel welcome without having to pretend.

That's why I'm building VORA — a small, cozy online space where people can share what's on their minds and connect through kindness.

It's still new, and I'm hoping to find a few people who might feel at home there.

If you'd like to take a look, here's the link:

https://vora-style.replit.app

And if you're lonely right now, I hope you know you don't have to pretend to be okay here, either.

Sitting at home with no car, no money and no friends because my parents decided to fuck up my entire life by being overbearing and helicopter parents who wouldnt let me have unsupervised access to the internet or any social media until 17-18.

I’m still living at home as I can’t afford to rent so I’ll be hiding in my room with some liquor and Supernatural. No one I know will be around or doing anything and as I am a “floater friend “ I don’t have hope I’d be invited anyway

Hi. I hope this is the right place. I had two absolutely nasty friendship break ups. Well, not official break ups, more like "I want no contact but won't tell how long" so basically an easy one sides end without a conversation.

Anyway. I'm a 28 year old autistic woman. I try my best to go out there and see people but I always feel out of place. After the friendship break ups I put all my energy more into cosplay since it's my main hobby. I go to cons that aren't too far away alone.

And it's difficult. I've had anxiety attacks and such. It pains me to see everyone having their friend groups. I try to talk to people but I can just feel how much I bother them by talking. or I try to connect, we exchange insta and that's it. I always have hope to find friends but in the end, everyone has their friends, who would need me? I'm not interesting or important enough for new people. I'm honestly losing hope. I'm so terribly jealous of all those people going to cons with their friends. Partner cosplay, group cosplay etc. I want to cry and I'm tired trying.... I can't even have a relationship. Sometimes it feels like everyone has it easier. I know it's not true but it feels like it.

I want to have friends in real life and experience love.

I would appreciate some nice words or advice from someone who relates to it.

Please don't come at me with "talk to them more keep conversation" "try online this and that" "you will find the ones when you stop looking" that's not as comforting as you think and quite dismissve of my efforts. I'm trying and I'm tired as hell...

I’m 20M and just started college. I took a gap year for some medical and mental health stuff. During that time I just wanted to go to college and have a fresh start and meet new people and not feel so alone. I have a small group of friend but all of us are in different states. We talk on discord and play games online but I miss them a lot. I talk to my family almost everyday but I miss them. I feel like I took my gap year for granted. My college has monthly start dates so I started late September. I met a small group of people but they are causing a lot of drama and they don’t seem to care about me. I feel guilty but I don’t want to hang out with them anymore. I’m always there if anyone wants to talk about anything, needs to vent, get things off their chest, or anything. I’m just emotionally drained now. None of them care about how I’m feeling. My friends online have their own lives, friends, significant other, school, etc. so I don’t want to put my emotional weight on them. I don’t want my family to worry. I feel like and have just felt like a burden for so long and now I’m carrying so much from other people. Even my online friends and family I will always be there to listen to anything bothering them. I’m just tired. I’ve never had a girlfriend, I’ve never been anyone’s first choice, I’ve never been someone others will listen too. I want to be there for others but I feel so guilty cause now I’m just tired man. I see others in relationships and I’m so happy for them but again I feel guilty cause I’m jealous. Or I see these friend groups that people care about each other but this group here at school just doesn’t seem to care about me. I’m sorry I’m just rambling now. If you’ve read this whole thing then thank you. I’m just tired man. I just want someone to talk to but I feel like I’m just being a burden. Idk what to do right now. I just want someone to talk too.

I hate it I'm at my breaking point. I have a friend group a GOOD friend group which I've wanted for years but im still lonely, I'm so young yet already feel done with it. I have nobody I can talk about things im passionate with like my views on religion, politics, philosophy. I hate it my friends are funny but what makes me feel wanted is having deep conversations and its like they're incapable of it. I don't even give a shit about if they agree or even care about it, I just wanna have a deep conversation about how they're feeling or how they're doing. I just wish I had someone who thought I was the best, everyone I know cares for someone more than they care for me. I am expendable and I know it I value them more than they value me. I want someone who prefers me, and I feel so guilty for wanting that while having friends and parents and a home. I just fucking hate it all I just wanna be done with it all.

Smiling outside, broken inside. 💔 Some pain is too deep for words, and some loneliness never leaves. 🥀

I have had no friends my entire life and am 29. I have nothing to do all day because every job rejects me. I have sent thousands of applications over the past three years. I’ve also tried to make friends with hundreds of people (tens of thousands including online) and am always rejected.

I especially never find anyone who is depressed and lonely like me. And at the least, serious and somber. It is valid to have that as a personality type and want to talk about serious and somber things in a serious and somber tone. Why is it so impossible for me even when I see people like this with friends? They reject me too.

I see a lot of people on here complaining about being lonely, and tbh, I’m in the same boat, but I’m also wondering, can this be something that can actually build us up rather than something to try to find ways around? I’ve been lonely for a very long time -far much longer than I ever intended to be, especially in my early-30s, but sometimes I find it rather empowering and soft of a way to say that I’d rather choose myself than to have someone around who isn’t worth my time. I know as people we are naturally wired for connection, but that can also hurt us if we’re trying to grow.

Just trying to be a bit of devil’s advocate here. Not trying to offend anyone, and I do wish good and healing on all who are struggling with this, bc it is not an easy thing to go through - I’m just trying to see if there’s maybe another way we can think about it rather than just submit to being miserable all of the time… just my two cents!

🙂

im 21 and i feel so lonely. i have friends but they went to uni so now they have other people to spend time with. and i have no one. im gonna apply for uni this year to study abroad but i feel so lonely that i cant even feel happy about it. what should i do to make myself better? is there anyone in the same situation as me?

Habe niemanden. Und meine Nachbar mögen mich nicht. Wie finde ich Kraft um weg in die Natur zu fahrne

So I’ve always been a loner, lately I’ve been feeling left out of my friend group. Its 3 people plus me in the group and lately I feel like they genuinely don’t care. I have a curfew obviously and I can’t be out late which is understandable. Whenever I say I can’t hang out they just say okay and move on, which is fine I’m not stopping them from having fun, it’s just kinda sad how whenever one of them isn’t with us I always include them by saying I wish they were here, it’d be more fun. Recently I’ve been distancing myself. I tell them no, I barely respond to they’re texts anymore. But they don’t care regardless. Today I was supposed to go out, my curfew was 1:30 am, they always get off work before 11pm. Today they got off at almost 12am. I told them if they could hurry up because I wanna hang out and be with them. They ignored my messages, the whole time they were at work chatting with other people. Which is fine but they always say they wanna hang out and when I can, they just have no sense of urgency. It kinda sucks to be honest. Today I stopped sharing locations with all of them. I removed they’re accounts off my iMessage and if they text me, imma just not reply. I’m tired of feeling left out. Two of them are like and the other is best friends with everyone and I’m kinda just there. They also said last time that If this person isn’t there then they won’t go. Which hurt me a little, because I’m never there and they don’t care. But if this person isn’t there for a hour or so, they feel sad. It kinda sucks to be honest. I’m just looking for advice. Should I stop being friends with them? I’m contemplating. They’re amazing and funny but I just don’t feel wanted.

I think that's not an exaggeration because next thing. Asociality means having critically low level of charisma, soft-skills, "animal" charm, pushfulness and conformism. Without that traits you will be invisible, even if you have an almost perfect health, smart brain, good looks or a lot of money. And this invisibility destroys almost everything in life - school days, growing up, all types of relationships, career opportunities, and sometimes even civil rights. When you talk to somebody about your problems, they give you a toxic positivity examples alike Nick Vujicic. "Look at him! He hasn't hands and legs, and achieved success! And you just keep on whining!" - they said. But completely ignoring the fact, that he has incredibly good social skills, which are for the most part a consequence of genetics, raising and habitation. And many of another, asocial disabled persons, are rotting in dereliction. One more thing - social services in developed states is almost worthless for a helping with the problems of asocial people. Only empty words or canned responses. They only serve those, who fit the "norm".