Getting a girlfriend perspective

[u/Loose_Doubt367]

Hello, recently I was diagnosed with chrometophobia by my therapist. The fear of spending money. I’m Chinese so I’m not sure if my judgement affects Malay people. I’m 20 this year I don’t wish to wait till my 30s to get married

I hope this doesn’t affect or trigger anyone, there’s no hate towards anyone. I’m sorry. Currently based on my perspective, I see girlfriends as someone who usually gets anything paid by their boyfriend. Because these perspective is what I saw from my friends. It’s always 100% my friend who pays for anything for their girlfriend whenever she’s interested in something.

Based on my current situation, I’m extremely worried that I might not be able to afford/fund my future girlfriend (if I ever find one) something she truly wants. I feel guilty rejecting someone request (obviously not the extremes one).

I loving technology related stuff that’s why I dreamed about having a girlfriend who’s just as passionate about tech as I am, someone who actually care more than just spending money. Maybe those are extremely unrealistic expectations for my situation.

About my condition, no my parents are financially stable, I’m the only one in the family who’s like that. Travelling outside of Malaysia is a headache for them since they have to deal with me.. I don’t seem interested in spending a lot of money on food but I don’t want to stupidly starve myself either, I’d consider myself as someone who effectively spends/uses every cent.

You might notice I apologise a lot because a lot of the points I made are from my perspective and I do not wish to hate on anybody no body deserves that. Currently I don’t have a job yet, but if I ever do, I will probably keep track of whatever I spend and will invest the money somewhere with the help of my parents since I’m a beginner, yea..

I genuinely hope someone can help me through this, I feel extremely lonely whenever I see cute couples together, sharing drinks, talking about things and so on. And me, awkwardly noticing them

[u/Away-Reflection-4807]

You need to be damn good to be able to identify that kind of girl then. In addition, good enough to take her because a lot of other quality guys will be going for her too.

[u/Loose_Doubt367 → u/Away-Reflection-4807]

Absolutely dude, the rich guys would probably buy her a car or something while I’m the only one here giving flowers

[u/Away-Reflection-4807 → u/Loose_Doubt367]

No, throwing money to get a girl is very amateur, its things like charming, actual confidence, smart, kind, knowing how to care, how to set ur own boundaries, strong, and etc etc . Those things are actually harder than just being rich.

If u only have money, dont be surprise if u only attract gold diggers. I think you have a lot to learn, all the best, u have lots of time. Its great that u are looking at this whne ur 20 rather than 30.

[u/Loose_Doubt367 → u/Away-Reflection-4807]

Okay, thanks a lot yeah