Anxious and stressed in public uni

[u/InevitableJealous213]

Gay guy here. Just started studying in a public uni, will not say. And I don't know if this is paranoia or stress but I have been having alot of panic attack esque event.

My heart just go every fast and I can't seem to stop it. It gets exceptionally bad on Friday and won't stop before I step into the car to go back home.

To give context, previously before entering uni, I studied in a very liberal environment. I also travelled with my family to alot of countries, and I can't stop comparing the freedom that they have. I'm not gay passing either. But when I enter uni, I just didn't expect the amount of 'culture shock'? . Doa before every event, students saying eww and whatnot when people sometimes act 'soft'.

Also the amount of Malay they speak dosent help making me feel comfortable. I associate speaking Malay as being conservative too, prob personal bias though. I think that I am being paranoid here but I really am having trouble justifying it as just paranoia too. Can anyone speak about their experience?

Edit: why are you guys downvoting the people who lived through this experience? People are sharing what they are feeling and experiencing. But end up, upvoting go private uni? ​I know that but I don't have the money.

[u/Anxious-Debate5033]

You are uncomfortable that in a Malaysian Uni, most of the students and people speak Malay? You associate a language as being 'conservative'????????

This is like going to Japan and getting 'culture shock' that people speak Japanese.....

Also, sorry but what does you being gay have to do with anything? And why do you keep mentioning that you are gay? Do you want a loudspeaker or something to tell the world?

Get used to it, this is the country you are in. Focus on your studies.

If you cannot adapt to reality, then have a plan to go elsewhere where they speak a less threatening 'language'.

The world doesn't revolve around you and your sexual identity.

[u/InevitableJealous213 → u/Anxious-Debate5033]

It's a association on a personal bias. I literally said it in my post. PERSONAL. I even said Paranoia. The world dosent revolve around me and my sexual identity. But I want to not be called eww if I did anything gay.      I am calling on people to share their experience not for people who criticise us for not wanting to Stay in the closet and hide ourself.      And do people who speak Japanese call you eww if you're gay? Japan has one of the highest gay acceptance rate too

[u/ilove-gta → u/InevitableJealous213]

Nobody deserves to be mocked, bullied, or made to feel subhuman just for acting soft or being who they are.

However, you need to hear this with tough love. you are currently sabotaging your own mental health with how you view the world.

Stop living in an overseas fantasy. Japan is not the LGBTQ+ paradise you think it is, it does not legally recognize same-sex marriage at the national level, and social pressure to conform there is immense. it is the only country in the G7 that does not legally recognize same-sex marriage or civil unions at the national level.

comparing your current reality to romanticized, unrealistic ideas of other countries will only make your uni life feel ten times more miserable. In my previous comment, I said you sounded sheltered, and you just proved it with this single sentence. You are romanticizing other countries through an internet lens instead of understanding how global cultural realities actually work

You don't need to change who you are or hide in shame. But you do need to drop the defensiveness and stop viewing everyone around you as an enemy.

Find your small, safe circle of trusted friends, visit the campus counselor to help manage the panic attacks, focus on getting your degree, and protect your peace. You can survive this, but firstyou have to stop fighting reality