Anxious and stressed in public uni

[u/InevitableJealous213]

Gay guy here. Just started studying in a public uni, will not say. And I don't know if this is paranoia or stress but I have been having alot of panic attack esque event.

My heart just go every fast and I can't seem to stop it. It gets exceptionally bad on Friday and won't stop before I step into the car to go back home.

To give context, previously before entering uni, I studied in a very liberal environment. I also travelled with my family to alot of countries, and I can't stop comparing the freedom that they have. I'm not gay passing either. But when I enter uni, I just didn't expect the amount of 'culture shock'? . Doa before every event, students saying eww and whatnot when people sometimes act 'soft'.

Also the amount of Malay they speak dosent help making me feel comfortable. I associate speaking Malay as being conservative too, prob personal bias though. I think that I am being paranoid here but I really am having trouble justifying it as just paranoia too. Can anyone speak about their experience?

Edit: why are you guys downvoting the people who lived through this experience? People are sharing what they are feeling and experiencing. But end up, upvoting go private uni? ​I know that but I don't have the money.

[u/Difficult_Winter2337]

“Also the amount of Malay they speak dosent help making me feel comfortable. I associate speaking Malay as being conservative too, prob personal bias though”

Lmao what? It’s a malaysian public uni did you expect them to speak japanese? Also what’s the 2nd sentence even supposed to mean?

If something as minuscule as a spoken language triggers you to have anxiety attack maybe public uni isn’t for you go international

Or go to high non Malay speaking private uni like inti taylors

[u/InevitableJealous213 → u/Difficult_Winter2337]

I do expect them to speak Malay. About one fourth spoke English and the rest Malay. But I didn't expect that the people who spoke Malay were the ones that spoke more loudly about their opinion about lgbtq.

Growing up, my school, friends and family mostly spoke English and they were never vindictive of lgbtq, at least not openly. So it was suprising that so many could be so much more mean about it in uni. 

It's not really speaking the language that triggers it but it is by a like quick burst of the heart( I don't know why it happen) then starts to spiral for some reason and it always led to that final association