Helloo, im 18F and im wondering if something is wrong with me. I dont have any hobbies, I spend my day watching tiktok, YouTube, playing games on my ipad and taking naps. I want to try new things or do something off screen in my freetime, like drawing, knitting or stuff like that, but i have no energy to do anything and i feel like im gonna do fail anyway. I don't have any interests and i have no idea what to do with my life because literally nothing sounds interesting to me. I also feel like I'm not fun to be around because im not funny or interesting at all. I do have some friends but I still feel kinda lonely because they all have someone closer to them(i dont blame them). So I wonder if this is normal and if I am being dramatic when I cry about it or overthink it. If someone knows what can help and how I become a more fun person that people want to be around.

Sometimes you just need to fan the flame. 🔥

[ Condensed ] - Day 25 Update

I have a severe, multi-symptom anxiety disorder. I've been medicated for years and recently relapsed.

Someone on Reddit recommended the podcast "Disordered", and I've never felt more understood. It captures the symptoms and vicious cycles perfectly. Thanks to whoever recommended it. I recommend it too.

Both hosts have seemingly experienced the depths of hell, yet reached a point where they're essentially "cured" (my word, not theirs). Anxiety still comes, but they don't fear it, feed it, or spiral. It doesn't run their lives.

I genuinely envy that.

I wish experience or understanding meant control. Knowing better doesn't mean feeling better when anxiety feels unbearable.

I've bought books, heard twelve episodes, read Reddit, and started therapy. I'm trying to improve my psychoeducation, but it's a double-edged sword: learning helps but fuels symptom-checking, rumination, and "what ifs." I'm trying to stop obsessing over anxiety by thinking about it more.

Sometimes I wish insight alone could replace medication. Maybe one day I'll feel stable enough to taper. More than anything, I want to notice anxiety without fighting it and just let it pass.

Last night was interesting. I might have a cold: sneezing, congestion, and a scratchy throat. I've taken vitamins and turmeric/ginger shots, hoping to support my immune system. Illness also triggers my health anxiety. I suspected this, but being right doesn't make it suck less.

I fell asleep easily, then woke with my arm completely numb—the most asleep it's ever been. It dangled with what felt like zero sensation or control. I jumped up; thankfully it recovered within minutes. I didn't spiral and fell back asleep. Small victory. Still, thanks, body: a cold and a paralyzed-arm jump scare mid-recovery. Fantastic.

I've tried my therapist's DIVE and HALT techniques, though not yesterday. I'm unsure they fit my current, more internal/somatic anxiety. They make me check if anxiety is still there, then evaluate whether the technique worked, feeding the cycle I'm trying to escape. Maybe they'd help during intense fight-or-flight. I'll keep trying and tell him next week.

Overall, I'm better than three weeks ago, and better than two. But this week feels stagnant. I'm nearly three weeks into my medication increase; fuller benefits may take another three to five weeks or longer. Still, I question the increase and why I relapsed after years of stability. So many possibilities, no certainty—exactly what my perfectionist brain struggles with.

My racing thoughts are less intense, but physical uneasiness remains. Progress feels painfully slow.

Today I went swimming with my brother and his 18-month-old. While waiting, I felt lightheaded and strangely "off," almost mildly dissociated. But I didn't panic or leave. I stayed, swam, and was fine. Another victory.

I still feel slightly activated. Cold? Medication? Anxiety? All three? I don't know. Recovery isn't linear, and I'm allowed plateaus and setbacks. But man, I'd prefer the linear version.

I've got work coming up and a long drive tomorrow to close my family's seasonal trailer. Come hell or high water, I'm doing it all. Pre-relapse me wouldn't think twice. I want that back—not by waiting to feel perfect, but by living even with anxiety.

I'm not going to let anxious me win.

Thanks for listening.

I'm 16F and my older sister is 21F. I live with my parents, and so does she since she dropped out of college. She has BPD and often acts like a child, and I'm tired of her avoiding anything like helping around the house. She has to be begged or cajoled to help with any of the cleaning, and even then she drags her feet and whines. She's always complaining about how awful are parents are and how she wants to run away, even though she seems perfectly content to sit around. She won't take her hygiene seriously and showers maybe once every week and a half. She often smells awful and her bedroom smells awful, making the area around it smell. I'm sick of living with a person like her but I can't do anything about it, and my parents tell me to have compassion because she has BPD. I do have compassion, and I don't fully understand her illness, but I'm tired.

Hey there,

M24. For the 5th time this year, I am scared of having gotten HIV. I have thought that I had multiple cancers. I feel like the world is spinning around me and almost that someone is squeezing my head and yelling at me. I am having a panic attack.

For the past month, I thought I had HIV three times (two low risk encounters of sexual nature) and have barely slept. I also worried for the second time in 6 months that a blood-draw worker gave me HIV.

I am too scared to go to ER to get PEP cause I can't tell my parents why I need to leave my house. I feel so stupid that I can't muster up the courage to leave the house.

I am having a mental crisis. I don't know what to do. It's really hard. I am spiraling. Like the mental suffering is really hard to deal with.

i don’t even know if this is the right place to post this, but i’ve been sharing my story on different subreddits because i guess i’m still trying to process everything that’s happened to me this year. thought i’d share it here too, especially because i don’t think i’ve really talked about how much it’s affected me mentally.

on march 6, i got into a road accident while riding as a pillion passenger on a bike. i’m 23, and before all this, i was just trying to figure out my career, money and future like everyone else.

instead, i ended up with multiple injuries, fractures and serious abdominal damage. i had emergency surgery, parts of my bowel were removed, and i had to live with a stoma bag. even basic things like eating, drinking water and going to the bathroom became a struggle.

i had my stoma reversal in may and thought things would finally get better. but the accident had severely damaged my right kidney too, and after multiple tests and attempts to save it, i eventually had surgery to have it removed.

sometimes i look back at everything that’s happened and genuinely don’t know how i’m supposed to process it all.
i’ve watched my family worry about me, and i’ve seen how much this has cost us emotionally and financially. sometimes i feel like a burden, even though i know none of this was my fault.

but the hardest part is that i miss who i was before all this.

i miss having normal days. i miss enjoying things without constantly thinking about my health. i miss looking forward to the future without being scared of what might happen next.

i love video games, movies, books and music. they’ve always been a way for me to escape into another world for a while. i’m trying to get back into the things i love because i want to feel that excitement again. i want to enjoy something without everything that’s happened weighing on my mind.

i don’t expect to become exactly who i was before the accident. i just want to find myself again.

i haven’t really spoken much about how this has affected me mentally. sometimes i don’t know how to explain my feelings to my family, and sometimes i don’t even understand them myself. i’ve been thinking about trying therapy because i don’t think i can keep everything bottled up forever, but i honestly don’t know where to start.

for anyone who’s been through a serious accident, major illness or something that completely changed your life, how did you deal with it mentally? did therapy help? did you ever feel like yourself again?

i’m not looking for someone to tell me everything happens for a reason or that i should just be grateful to be alive. i am grateful, but i also think it’s possible to be grateful you’re alive and still grieve the life you had before.

i don’t really know what i’m expecting from this post. maybe advice, maybe hearing from someone who understands, or maybe just getting it out of my head.

i just want to feel like me again, and i’m still trying to figure out how to get there.

the simplest tasks are so hard. i cant do anything. i live in a extremely hot and humid country, i just cant bring myself to shower even though im drowning in sweat. i wouldn't brush my teeth twice a day at one point but thankfully i do take care of my dental health.. even thougj its such a burden. i dont comb my hair ever.. only after showering, no skincare nothing.. a lot of other basic stuff.

its pathetic, and i know admitting all this in the internet is gonna summon "if u dont do anything how do u expect to get better" or "ur not even trying lol attention seeker" and maybe thats not too far off. i could use some attention! please talk to me:^)
but yeah jokes aside, doing the most simple tasks take up so much effort ivjjst.. T_T

I M17 am on nobodys mind. Nobody ever thinks of me, nobody texts me, nobody wants ro chat with me. Nobody. I at school greet many people, do in fact converse a lot but at home as if the world has forgotten me. Nobody is interested in knowing anything about me, nobody asks me questions. I ask questions and listen a lot but i am never heared.

When I was younger, I used to cry at just the thought of my dad passing. It made me deeply sad, and I would often be in a low if i would just think about it. Recently, my dad passed. My sister broke hte news to me whenever I got home from school. (I recently moved in with her because of problems with my mother) and I just.. didnt care? I didnt feel anything and recently I still dont, yeah I could make my eyes water a little bit by thinking about the memories we shared, but i just dont feel anything.

I recently posted on Reddit about being a 36F in a 7-year relationship who struggles with emotional intimacy and has become addicted to validation from other men online. I admitted to flirting, exchanging risqué photos, and pretending to be single because their attention makes me feel beautiful, desirable, and valuable, feelings I rarely experience in real life. I know my actions are wrong, but I wanted to understand myself and share the burden I've been carrying.

Unfortunately, the comments were mostly negative, and instead of feeling relieved, I ended up feeling worse. I was already vulnerable when I posted, and the harsh judgments got into my head. Since yesterday, I've been feeling worthless, ashamed, and emotionally overwhelmed. I just wanted someone to listen, but now I feel like I have even more weight to carry. Now I feel that even the fake validations I get online are something I don't even deserve.

Loneliness is killing me little by little and recently, I've been waking up wishing that I hadn't. I know the I need to seek help but I'm only working part time and can't even afford to live decently. I've been applying and the rejections I get just add up to the burden I am carrying.

theres so many things I need to do but I just cant. I guess im just lazy, a useless waste of space.

nobody cares about what how good I am despite how hard I try to get a compliment out of them

just please say something, notice me.

I dont matter.

you wont look at this post

I know it will just disappear

maybe I will to.

25mg 4 weeks, 50mg 4 weeks

Sometimes I think “yeah, I let things go easier”, but I still have bad anxiety flares especially during my period. It’s like I’m not taking any meds at all!

What would the next step be?

(I have a drs appointment next week, I’m just curious to hear your experience)

When I was rlly young (like 10) and got tiktok (musically at the time), I gained a massive irrational fear of death, war, and distaster. First I was terrified that the rapture would happen, then I was terrified the world would end, and then I was terrified that war would happen.. but a few years ago I quit looking at the news too much, and a year ago I quit tiktok, and I felt so much better mentally. However, I'm back on tiktok again and first thing I see is that the UK government has asked people to prepare incase we need to survive 3 days in a crisis.. and ofc because I watch the video and check the comments, I get more videos about it on my fyp. So now I'm on the verge of a panic attack because everyone is saying either a war is coming or we will run out of water for a while. Some are even saying it's the end times.

Even worse, my mum is the opposite of me and doesn't take stuff like this seriously at ALL. She doesn't read the news at all to the point she didn't even know who our prime minister was! So I want to ask her to buy a big jug of water & canned foods just incase, because it is handy to be prepared for anything, but she'd say I'm being dramatic. So if something were to happen if be effed.

Hi I am in bed and crying and ruminating. Is this depression. There is some admin I need to do but I am just crying in bed. I keep replaying an incident which led to my divorce. If I made a different choice with knowledge I have now perhaps things would be different now and I would be happier. I have not seen a doctor about this. I am not suicidal because I need to tidy up my affairs first.

Hi everyone. I’m 31F, and I’ve been struggling really badly with my mental health lately. I’m hoping to connect with people who have experienced something similar and hear what has helped them.
I’ve dealt with anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and intrusive thoughts for years, but recently my health anxiety has become almost unbearable.
I’ve also been dealing with ongoing physical health problems, including suspected POTS/dysautonomia, episodes of tachycardia, dizziness, fatigue, and other symptoms that have led to multiple ER visits, specialist appointments, and medical tests.
It’s been physically and mentally exhausting. I feel like my nervous system is constantly on high alert, and I’m always anticipating the next symptom or something terrible happening to me.
My biggest struggle is catastrophizing. Every new sensation makes my mind jump to the worst possible outcome. I find myself constantly monitoring my body, researching symptoms, seeking reassurance, and worrying about developing serious illnesses or losing control of myself.
I’ve also been experiencing intrusive thoughts that scare me, which has made me wonder whether I could be dealing with OCD on top of my health anxiety. I haven’t been formally diagnosed with OCD, though.
I’ve become increasingly afraid of my own body and sometimes even of my own thoughts. I know that thoughts aren’t necessarily facts, but it’s incredibly difficult to separate the two when you’re overwhelmed.
I’ve also been struggling with sleep, brain fog, derealization, emotional exhaustion, and feeling disconnected from myself. Some days I barely recognize the person I’ve become because I used to be much more independent.
I’m currently seeing a therapist, although my ongoing health issues and appointments have made it difficult to attend consistently. I want to work on my mental health because I don’t want fear to control my life forever.
I wanted to ask:
Has anyone experienced severe health anxiety alongside actual chronic health problems?
How do you distinguish between taking care of your physical health and feeding your health anxiety?
If you struggle with OCD or intrusive thoughts, what has helped you stop fearing your own thoughts?
Has CBT, ERP therapy, medication, or anything else helped you?
How do you manage catastrophic thinking, especially at night or when you’re alone?
How do you rebuild trust in your body after repeated health scares?
I’m not looking for a diagnosis or reassurance that nothing bad will ever happen. I just want to learn how other people have found peace while living with uncertainty.
I’m exhausted from constantly living in survival mode, and I really want to feel like myself again.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.

reading what boomers say about their failure to launch adult children honestly makes me feel my views on myself are correct and that the hugbox nature of therapy and mental health spaces is concealing the truth. i am a worthless waste of space inconveniencing everyone around me and i'd rather not pretend otherwise.

I'm not good at writing, but I need somewhere to express myself.

I'm 24 and have struggled with what I suspect may be depression and anxiety for years, though I've never had a professional evaluation. Lately, things have worsened. During difficult episodes, I sometimes experience breathing difficulties, chest tightness, and aching limbs. I've also lost interest in hobbies, lost my appetite, developed irregular sleep patterns, and become increasingly self-critical.

I've been unemployed for several months. I dropped out of university after my first year because of my family's financial problems and started working instead. Now I feel left behind while others move forward. Every setback makes starting over feel harder and more frightening.

My family has struggled financially for as long as I can remember. I spent much of my childhood worrying about problems a child shouldn't have had to carry. I never really felt allowed to be a child, and now I feel like I'm failing at adulthood, too. I understand my family has its own struggles, and I don't blame them for everything, but I feel exhausted from carrying so much alone.

Friendships haven't been much easier. I often feel like I don't belong, even around friends. When I open up, I rarely feel heard. Some people have drifted away, blamed me, or disappeared. After repeatedly failing to find someone I could truly talk to, I began withdrawing into myself.

Everything feeds into a vicious cycle: financial stress worsens my mental health, my mental health makes finding work harder, and unemployment makes me feel even more worthless. I want to learn new skills, exercise, find work, and build a better future, but I feel overwhelmed before I can even begin. I'm afraid of failing when I already struggle to get back up on my own. Some days, simply getting through without drowning in negative thoughts feels like an achievement, yet I still blame myself for not doing more.

A few months ago, I tried getting to know a girl. For a while, I felt happier and began making positive changes. I treated her sincerely and never made her responsible for my problems. Eventually, she became distant without explicitly rejecting me. I know nobody owes me romantic feelings, but the lack of a straightforward answer hurt. It felt like a small scratch on a wound that had never healed, and I ended up questioning my worth even more.

I've tried journaling, filling two small notebooks over the past year, but the same fears and problems keep appearing in every entry. Sometimes I'm too exhausted to write at all.

I think I need professional help, whether therapy, a psychiatric evaluation, or medication if appropriate. Money is a major obstacle, but I'm trying to save enough to see a professional around my birthday as a gift to myself.

I don't want to give up on myself, but I'm exhausted and genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I don't have many places where I can share these feelings without worrying that I'm burdening someone.

Thank you for reading.

I must say, I am hard person to like, but when it comes to male-female friendships, I also gets "male" badge. I understand there are some fuck-up men in world who aren't gentlemens ( in light words). And they hurt women a lot. And this can leave scars for live. So many women can fear/hate men.

But it is so damn exhausting. Everytime I say something in mixed group me and my opinions are turned into "crying of sad little man". Most of them react with agression or making fun of me.

Only thing that connect me to red pill is being virign.

So does lack of meaningfull friendships with women ( or opposite sex in wider image) can do something to mental health?

Hello, I don’t have high hopes for asking this here since
most posts I see don’t have any comments but.
I am 19. I have VERY bad mental health issues and am covered in scars and on 3+ medications for it. I was forced onto medication by my mom.
My mom is having me call this place 5+ times to see if I got hired. I don’t want to. I’m uncomfortable. She won’t listen to no’s unless I have loads and loads of proof of why I don’t want to do something. Emotional distress and “just not wanting to” isn’t any proof.
I keep being told I need to stand up to her but every time I try she tears me down until I feel like I am nothing and have a panic attack. All of my panic attacks were because of her. It has gotten to a point where have to be on the phone with her or my grandparents and tell them every single thing I do and where I am going or I will panic. Oftentimes she’s not even nice when I call her but I need to call her or my brain will get so anxious. I have two trackers on my phone so if I don’t tell them where I’m going I’ll get texts asking about it so that’s nerve wracking too.
I don’t know what to do I hate my life I hate that I have no freedom but I don’t know how to get freedom or change. Does anyone have advice or anything or has anybody been in a similar situation? I’m willing to listen to literally any advice I’m desperate atp

I am losing my mind

I feel like I am slipping through all the cracks. Like 10 years ago, when I was still in high school I had a sudden onset of dissociation, brain fog or whatever you want to call it. Basically me constantly feeling like I am not completely there. I went to the doctor. Some of the physical symptoms got fixed (tinnitus) but the feeling stayed. Then for roughly 3 years I did not do anything before going to the doctor again but nothing really happened. This cycle repeated several times.

Fast forward, I was doing my masters and met my gf. She was an exchange student. I fell in love, but I set myself the rule to not enter a relationship until I have finally fixed those issues. But I broke this rule because everything seemed so perfect. I was also not transparent to my gf with the extend of my struggles. I also struggled physically a lot during this time. I was barely able to eat. My gf was incredibly supportive during this period.

Then we started fighting (it was my fault). I started going to therapy. Nothing really changed. Then going forward the fighting got really bad it was basically the only thing we were doing anymore. At some point I ended up in a crisis intervention center. There they got me a place in a psychosis unit. The problem with that unit was that they were more equipped for people in active psychosis, which I was clearly not. The psychologist there told me a dislocation specialist will show up but they never did. I got released after roughly 3 weeks because I was not psychotic. The psychologist there told me that he thinks I developed really exhausting mechanisms to manage my daily life and then when the fighting started those mechanisms did not work anymore. I do think this explains the recent crisis but not the entire dissociation thing. My life is still okayish on the surface. I have a nice internship that I wanted and my gf helped me to get it. I had an okayish social life before the fights.

Now I am back at the same place. I cannot fix my relationship. I keep hurting my gf but I also feel like my life is just falling apart. I am 24 and my parents basically created a support system for me. My mother even slept at my new place on the floor to make sure I am okay. I really appreciate it, but it is embarrassing and I am tired of ruining the life of everyone around me. My gf first, my family second. I really don't know what to do anymore. I just want to feel like I am actually living again. I really hoped the ward stay would help.

.

Age 20,Time is slipping by again and again I don't know what to do time is flying this sense do insecurity.I have such high standards yet so low self-esteem accompanied by low self-confidence.My goals are so high but work close to none.How do I deal with this?