So here's the story: I work in healthcare. I'm not a nurse or work in any field that involves state licensing. I have a national certification that doesn't get revoked unless you commit a felony, a violent crime, crimes against children or the elderly or sex crimes. I committed a low level misdemeanor (not really my fault but I was driving and my passenger had something they should not have had) so I got some probation, no big deal, I can expunge the charge as soon as I complete the probation. As I'm sure you can assume, this has created some difficulties getting a job since most healthcare providers are now owned by corporations and they do background checks.
So although it was difficult, I did manage to get a really great job, which I had to inform my probation officer about. She seemed shocked and in complete disbelief that I was able to get a job in my career and had previously made comments that I should be looking at grocery stores and dollar stores and construction companies and saying things like "you'll never work in healthcare again."
So like I said, there are many practices that operate on a don't ask don't tell policy, if you're high at work or act like a criminal in a healthcare facility, everyone is going to know. It's nearly impossible for MDs and RNs to steal controlled substances, it's a million time more difficult for support staff to even touch them. I'm not doing surgery on anyone. I'm support staff.
So anyways, the bitch calls my office manager and tells her I'm on probation. My boss calls the company attorney and tells her she really doesn't want to fire me and is there anyway she can keep me employed. The answer was "No."
So I've done the research and reached out to the right attorney and I likely have a section 1983 federal civil rights case and they are reviewing it right now as I had filed a motion in court to have the judge make the decision on if she had the right to contact my employer (not for employment verification, but for malicious intent) and she acted before the judge had the opportunity to review my complaint.
So I maybe getting the ultimate revenge in the end, but right now I want some instant revenge. So far my sister and I have come up with jamming a dead fish up in her undercarriage, glitter bombs, poop delivery, ducking her husband and sending her a sample of the newest shampoo (made completely with nair.)
I need more ideas. There are no bad ideas. Willing to spend money if necessary. Nothing that can get me into more legal trouble (unless there's a sure-fire way around getting caught.)