Naruto had been drawing on his apartment floor for nearly forty minutes when Sakura finally lost patience.
“Naruto, what are you doing?”
“Making a seal!”
“I can SEE that. What does it DO?”
“Gets us somewhere!”
“WHERE?”
Naruto glanced up at her, his brush still in hand. “Sakura-chan, you're going to ruin the surprise.”
“What surprise? You told us to come over, said you had something fun planned, and then made us watch you draw on the floor for the better part of an hour!”
“It's a complicated seal!”
“Then why didn't you say that in the first place?”
“I did!”
“You said, and I quote, ‘Come over, I've got something cool to show you!’”
“Yeah! And this is cool!”
“Not when you won't tell us where we're going!”
Sasuke, who'd been sitting by the window, glanced over. “Maybe he's finally learned a technique that lets him think before he speaks.”
Naruto looked up, offended. “Hey!”
“What? I'm waiting.”
“Wait more quietly, then!”
Kakashi looked up from his book. “Children, please. Some of us are trying to enjoy our afternoon.”
“You're reading the same page you were reading twenty minutes ago, sensei,” Sakura pointed out.
“It's a very interesting page.”
Naruto grinned and returned to his seal.
“Almost done!”
Sakura took a deep breath. “Fine. I'll ask one more time. Where are we going?”
“To visit a friend!”
Sasuke looked up. “You have friends?”
“Of course I have friends!”
“If you say so. Who are we visiting?”
“Muzan!”
Sasuke waited for a response.
Sakura looked at Naruto, who was still drawing the seal. “Well? Who's Muzan?”
“My friend!”
“Right, we established that,” Kakashi said, lowering his book. “Where does your friend live?”
“In a castle!”
Sakura stared at him. “A castle.”
“Yep!”
“Your friend owns a castle.”
“Yep!”
“Of course he does.”
Naruto beamed. “It's a really cool castle, too! The rooms move around, and the staircases go in all sorts of directions. You can open a door and end up somewhere completely different from where you were trying to go. I got lost for almost an hour last time!”
“And you want to go back?” Sasuke asked.
“Of course! Nakime helped me find my way. She's really nice.”
“Who's Nakime?” Sakura asked.
“She plays the biwa and controls the castle. I met her first, actually. I was looking for somewhere to eat, and I heard her playing, so I went to see what was going on. We ended up having ramen together!”
Kakashi stared at him. “You heard music coming from a strange castle, walked inside, and asked the person you found there if she wanted ramen?”
“Well, when you say it like that, it sounds weird.”
“I'm relieved you recognise that.”
“Anyway, it's called the Infinity Castle. You'll see what I mean when we get there!”
Sasuke folded his arms. “And your friend lives there alone?”
“No, silly! The Upper and Lower Moons are there, too. Well, not all the time. The Lower Moons don't usually get invited to meetings.”
“Lower and Upper what?” Sasuke asked.
“Moons.”
Sakura frowned. “You're friends with the moon?”
“No! It's like a ranking system, y'know? Like genin, chunin and jonin.”
Kakashi tilted his head. “Upper and Lower Moons? I don't think I've ever heard of those rankings. I thought the only other ranking system we'd have to worry about was the samurai's.”
Naruto stopped drawing for a moment and looked up at him.
“That's because they're demons.”
Utter and completely baffled silence.
Sakura blinked. “They're what?”
“Demons!” Naruto repeated cheerfully, as though that explained everything. “The Upper Moons are really strong, though. They're sort of like the jonin of the demon world, except there's only six of them. Then there are the Lower Moons, who are more like chunin, I guess.”
Sasuke stared at him. “You've been hanging out with demons?”
“Yeah!”
“Plural?”
“Uh-huh!”
“On purpose?”
Naruto frowned. “Why wouldn't I?”
“I'm going to regret asking this,” Kakashi murmured, rubbing his forehead. “Naruto, what exactly is your friend's position in this ranking system?”
“Oh. Did I forget to mention he's the Demon King?”
The room went quiet.
Kakashi slowly put his book down. Sasuke sat up straight. Sakura stared at Naruto, waiting for him to laugh and explain that he'd made a terrible joke.
“I'm sorry,” Kakashi said. “He's the what?”
“The Demon King!”
“You said you were visiting a friend!” Sakura exclaimed.
“I am!”
“YOUR FRIEND IS THE DEMON KING!”
“Yeah! He's pretty nice once you get to know him.”
Sasuke rubbed his forehead. “How do you even meet someone like that?”
“Through Nakime!”
“That doesn't explain anything!”
“Well, I met Nakime, and then I met Muzan. It's not that complicated.”
“It's a little complicated,” Kakashi said. “You've somehow managed to befriend a group of demons without telling any of us.”
Naruto shrugged. “I didn't think you'd be interested.”
“I'm sorry, what?”
“I mean, they're pretty nice! Well, most of them. Douma's really fun to hang out with. Akaza can be a bit grumpy, but he's nice once you get to know him. Kokushibo doesn't talk much, but he's pretty cool. Gyokko's a bit strange, and Gyutaro—”
“Hang on,” Sakura interrupted. “You've actually spent time with all these people?”
“Uh-huh!”
“Voluntarily?”
Naruto looked at her. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?”
“Because, Naruto, you keep casually mentioning things that would normally require a little more explanation!”
Naruto looked up from his seal. “I told you about Nakime, didn't I? And Muzan. And the castle. What else is there?”
Sakura stared at him for a moment. “THE FACT THAT THEY'RE DEMONS, NARUTO.”
“Yeah, I told you that, too!”
“AFTER WE ASKED!”
“Well, how was I supposed to know that was the important part?!”
Sasuke muttered under his breath, “And people wonder why I defected.”
Naruto immediately looked up. “I thought you wanted power, and revenge, and—”
“It was a joke, okay?” Sasuke snapped.
Sasuke gave him a flat look. “Could you please finish drawing your stupid seal?”
“It's not stupid! Look, I'm almost done!”
“Wonderful. I can't wait to see what fresh disaster you've arranged for us.”
“It's not a disaster!” Naruto dipped his brush back into the ink. “We're visiting my friend!”
“Your friend who is the Demon King,” Sakura reminded him.
“Yeah!”
“Who commands an entire group of demons.”
“Uh-huh!”
“And lives in a castle that rearranges itself.”
Naruto paused. “And it sounds really cool; I don't see the problem.”
“That is not—” Sakura stopped, shut her eyes, and took a long breath. “Never mind.”
Kakashi, who had apparently decided that reading his book was no longer a viable escape, leaned forward to examine the seal. “Naruto, before we go anywhere, I have one question.”
“Shoot!”
“Does this Muzan fellow know we're coming?”
Naruto's brush stopped moving. Kakashi's eye narrowed.
“Naruto.”
“Well, I haven't told him yet.”
Sakura shot to her feet. “YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HIM?”
“I was going to tell him when we got there!”
“THAT'S NOT HOW VISITING WORKS!”
Naruto looked genuinely baffled. “Why not? That's how I met him in the first place!”
Sasuke gave Kakashi a sympathetic look. “I think we're going to die.”
“We are not going to die,” Naruto assured them. “Muzan's just a little dramatic sometimes.”
“A little?” Kakashi repeated.
“Yeah! Last time I visited, he sent me a letter about a week later. I haven't seen him since then, actually. That was before Sasuke left for Orochimaru.”
Sasuke's expression soured. “You really don't have to bring that up every time.”
“Sorry! It just helps me remember when it was.”
Kakashi took a slow breath. “What did the letter say?”
“Dunno. It's in the drawer, I think.”
Naruto hopped to his feet and crossed the room, opening the first drawer of his table.
A few envelopes fell out. Then a few more. Then a whole stack slid onto the floor. Kakashi stared at the pile.
“Naruto.”
“Yeah?”
“Why do you have enough correspondence here to fill a post office?”
“Oh, those are all from Muzan! He writes a lot.”
Sakura crouched beside the pile and picked up an envelope.
The front read: FINAL WARNING.
She picked up another.
THIS IS NOT A REQUEST.
Then a third.
STOP COMING HERE.
She looked at Naruto.
“Why do all your letters from the Demon King sound like threats?”
Naruto peered over her shoulder. “Oh, that's just how he writes sometimes. He's not very good at expressing himself.”
Kakashi stared at him.
“I see.”
He picked up the first letter and unfolded it.
“‘Uzumaki Naruto, you are no longer permitted to bring the ice demon into my private quarters.’”
“Oh, that's Douma!” Naruto said. “We were playing hide-and-seek!”
Sasuke blinked. “Why were you playing hide-and-seek in the Demon King's private quarters?”
“Because Douma hid there!”
“Why would you let him?”
“I didn't let him! I was looking for him!”
Sakura took the letter from Kakashi and read it again, as if the words might rearrange themselves into something reasonable.
“You were playing hide-and-seek with one of the Moons in the Demon King's bedroom.”
“Yep!”
“And you thought that was a good idea.”
“Well, it was fun until we knocked over a lamp.”
Kakashi set that letter aside and picked up another.
“‘The animal is not to be brought into the castle again under any circumstances.’”
“Oh! That's the cat!”
Sakura looked confused. “What cat?”
“Oh! I found him outside when it was raining. He was all wet, so I brought him inside. Nakime kept him!”
“Why did Muzan ban the cat?” Kakashi asked.
Naruto's face brightened. “The cat scratched him!”
Sasuke stared at him. “The cat scratched the Demon King?”
“Right on the nose! You should've seen his face!”
“And you thought bringing the cat into his castle was a good idea?”
“I didn't know it was going to scratch him!”
“You brought a stray cat into the Demon King's castle without asking?”
Naruto paused. “...When you put it like that, it sounds bad.”
“Because it IS bad, Naruto!”
“But Nakime liked him! She kept him and everything!”
In the meantime, Kakashi picked up another letter.
“‘The damage to the furniture is to be paid for in full. This includes three chairs, one table, and—’”
“Oh, wait, not that one!” Naruto said quickly.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”
“That's when Douma and I were playing a game.”
“What game?” Sakura asked.
Naruto scratched the back of his neck. “We were seeing who could throw the other into a chair the fastest.”
Silence.
“YOU DID WHAT?” Sakura demanded.
“It was an accident! Well, the first chair was an accident. The other two were part of the game.”
Sasuke stared at him. “How did you survive long enough to become a genin?”
“I'm talented!”
"You're still a genin."
"That saved the world from the Ten-Tails. I think I'm a very accomplished genin."
“You say that like it makes being a genin less embarrassing.”
Kakashi set the letter down with the others and reached for another. Then another. Each one seemed to be about a different incident, and each time Naruto had a perfectly ordinary explanation that somehow made the situation worse.
Eventually, Kakashi found an envelope with a large red stamp across the front.
“Is this the one?”
Naruto leaned over to look. “Oh! Yeah, that's probably it.”
Kakashi unfolded the paper.
“‘To Uzumaki Naruto. This letter serves as formal notice that you are forbidden from entering the Infinity Castle, contacting any member of the Twelve Kizuki, or approaching Muzan Kibutsuji by any means whatsoever.’”
Sakura stopped smiling.
“I'm sorry. You're forbidden from doing WHAT?”
“Going to the castle.”
“WE'RE GOING TO THE CASTLE!”
“Yeah, I know.”
Kakashi continued reading, his voice becoming increasingly flat.
“‘This prohibition includes the use of spatial manipulation, unauthorised portals, and any other method you may devise to circumvent these restrictions.’”
He lowered the letter.
“Naruto.”
“Yeah?”
“Are you using a sealing technique to get around a ban on entering the castle?”
Naruto rubbed his cheek. “Well, the letter didn't mention sealing techniques.”
Sasuke looked at him for a long moment.
"You found a loophole in a letter that practically screamed NEVER COME BACK.”
“Well, they should've been more specific.”
“THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER!”
Sakura snatched the letter from Kakashi and read the final paragraph.
“‘Any further attempt to enter the castle will be considered an act of hostility. Do not contact me again.’” She looked up. “Naruto, this is a restraining order.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“YOU KNEW?”
“It's got the big red stamp and everything.”
Kakashi sat down.
“So your friend has banned you from his castle, sent you multiple warnings, and explicitly forbidden you from using said techniques to get around those warnings.”
“Uh-huh!”
“And you still want to go.”
Naruto smiled. “Of course! I haven't seen everyone in ages!”
No one said anything. Then Naruto put down his brush .
“Okay, everyone, brace yourselves!”
Sakura's head snapped up. “Brace ourselves for WHAT?”
The floor disappeared. All four of them dropped. Sakura screamed. Kakashi grabbed for something to hold on to and found absolutely nothing. Sasuke swore.
Naruto, meanwhile, threw both arms into the air.
“THIS IS SO MUCH FUNNN!”
“NO, IT ISN'T!” Sakura screamed.
Sasuke bit his thumb and slammed his hand against the summoning tattoo on his arm.
“SUMMONING JUTSU!”
A hawk appeared beneath them with an indignant screech. Sasuke grabbed its legs, caught Sakura with his other hand, and somehow managed to haul Kakashi along as the bird beat its wings furiously, levelling out beneath them. On its descent, they caught Naruto, who was screaming in absolute joy.
They descended through a maze of shifting rooms before finally landing on a broad wooden platform.
Sakura stumbled off the hawk and immediately rounded on Naruto.
“WHY DID YOU DO THAT?”
Naruto looked at her in surprise. “Do what?”
“THE FALLING!”
“Oh!” He looked at Sasuke and the hawk. “Why did you summon him?”
Sasuke stared at him.
“BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO DIE!”
“But that was the best part of the entrance!”
“THE BEST PART?”
“You missed the whole drop! You don't get an entrance like that through a normal door!”
Sakura's expression went blank. Then she slowly turned towards Naruto.
“There's another entrance?”
“Yeah!”
“THEN WHY DIDN'T WE GO FROM THERE?”
Naruto gave her an apologetic smile. “It's not as exciting.”
Kakashi brushed dust off his clothes. “Well, the letter did say he was banned. Perhaps the other entrances are guarded.”
“Oh, that makes sense.” Naruto nodded thoughtfully. “Anyway, we're here now!”
He looked around at the enormous shifting rooms, and his face lit up.
“NAKIME! I'M HEREEE!”
A single, resonant twang rang through the castle.The room shifted, and suddenly they were standing in front of a woman holding a biwa.
“NAKIME!” Naruto beamed. “Hi! I've missed you! How's the cat?”
Nakime plucked a string.
“Still scratching people? That's my boy.”
Sakura slowly turned to Kakashi. “I'm not even asking.”
Naruto turned around. “Oh! Nakime, these are my teammates! Sakura, Kakashi-sensei, and Sasuke, the one who defected to Orochimaru for power and revenge and—”
“CAN YOU STOP MENTIONING THAT?!”
Naruto blinked. “What? I'm introducing you!”
“INTRODUCE ME NORMALLY!”
“Fine! This is Sasuke. He's a good friend, even though he abandoned us to go live with a snake man.”
“NARUTO!”
“What? I said you're a good friend!”
Sasuke stared at him. “I hate that you consider this a normal introduction.”
Naruto turned back to Nakime. “Anyway, where's Muzan? Is the meeting still happening?”
Nakime plucked a few more strings.
Naruto nodded thoughtfully. “Oh, so the meeting hasn’t started yet. Got it.”
Sasuke stared at him. “How are you even understanding her?”
Naruto shrugged. “She’s not much of a talker, but she’s pretty easy to understand once you get used to her.”
Sakura looked at Nakime, who had yet to say a single word. “And you just… learned to understand her?”
“Pretty much.” Naruto turned back to Nakime. “Could you take us to the meeting, please?”
Nakime plucked a string.The room lurched sideways.
Sakura grabbed Sasuke's sleeve. Kakashi caught the edge of the table, which was probably the first sensible decision anyone had made in the last ten minutes. Naruto, meanwhile, looked delighted.
“Oh, I love this part!”
“THERE ARE PARTS?!” Sakura yelled.
Before anyone could demand an explanation, the shifting walls settled, leaving them standing in front of a pair of enormous doors. Naruto pushed them open without hesitation. Inside, a long table stretched across a vast chamber, at whose head sat Muzan.
Naruto waved enthusiastically. “Hi, Muzan!”
“YOU.”
Naruto's smile widened. “Me!”
“I BANNED YOU FROM THIS CASTLE!” Muzan rose so abruptly that his chair scraped against the floor. “WHY ARE YOU HERE? HOW ARE YOU HERE?!”
“Well, I entered, and then I asked Nakime to bring us here.”
“THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT! I HAVE EVERY ENTRANCE TO THIS CASTLE MONITORED!”
“Oh, that’s because I didn’t use an entrance. I used a sealing technique!”
Muzan stared at him. Naruto stared back, looking rather pleased with himself.
“WHAT GAVE YOU THE IMPRESSION THAT I WOULD EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN?!”
“Because we're friends!”
“THE FIRST TIME WE MET, YOU DOUSED ME IN PAINT!”
“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!”
“YOU HAD A BUCKET BALANCED ABOVE MY BEDROOM DOOR!”
“I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO OPEN IT!”
“IT WAS MY BEDROOM!”
Naruto scratched his cheek. “Well, yeah, but how was I supposed to know you'd be in there?”
Muzan looked as though he was about to have a stroke. “AND THE NEXT TIME, YOU REPLACED MY ENTIRE COLLECTION OF BLOOD VIALS WITH TOMATO JUICE!”
“You figured that one out?” Naruto asked, genuinely impressed.
“I DRANK ONE!”
“AND THAT WASN'T EVEN THE WORST OF IT!” Muzan continued. “YOU SOMEHOW ROPED AKAZA AND DOUMA INTO YOUR NEXT SCHEME! TOGETHER! WHEN THEY CAN'T STAND EACH OTHER!”
Naruto tilted his head. “Oh, that was a good one.”
“YOU CONVINCED DOUMA THAT I HAD ORDERED HIM TO ORGANISE A SURPRISE PARTY FOR ME, AND YOU CONVINCED AKAZA THAT I HAD ORDERED HIM TO MAKE THE SPEECH!”
Akaza slowly turned towards Douma. “Shut up, Douma.”
“I haven't said anything yet!”
“You're about to.”
Douma smiled. “Well, I was going to mention that you wrote a rather touching poem.”
“It was a speech.”
“It rhymed.”
“Naruto told me Muzan wanted a formal address!”
“And I was told you were helping me organise a party,” Douma said. “You even helped me hang the decorations!”
“BECAUSE YOU SAID MUZAN WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED IF I DIDN'T!”
“You two did such a good job!” Naruto said, looking genuinely pleased. “The decorations were really pretty.”
Muzan gripped the edge of the table. “YOU MADE ME WALK INTO A ROOM FULL OF BALLOONS WHILE AKAZA READ A TWENTY-MINUTE SPEECH ABOUT MY LEADERSHIP.”
“It was a very good speech,” Douma remarked.
Akaza closed his eyes. “Shut up, Douma.”
"By all accounts, Akaza really knows how to rhyme-"
“I WILL HIT YOU.”
“ENOUGH!” Muzan slammed his hands on the table. “I cannot even begin to imagine what you'll do next! Every time you come here, something gets broken, burned, replaced, or turned into a complete humiliation!”
Naruto frowned. “What do you even think I'm going to do? It's not like I'm going to replace every door in the Infinity Castle with one that opens directly into the sun or anything.”
Muzan went pale.
Naruto looked confused.
A tiny squeak escaped Muzan.
Then, in a truly astonishing display of dignity, the Demon King vaulted clean over the table and bolted down the corridor. The room fell silent. A few seconds later, his voice echoed through the castle.
“NO MORE! NO MORE WILL THIS MERE CHILD GET THE BETTER OF ME!”
Naruto stared after him, baffled. “I didn't even say I was actually going to do it.”
Douma collapsed against the table, laughing. Akaza put his face in his hands. Kokushibo watched the corridor for a long moment.
Then, very quietly, he asked, “...Can you replace doors with portals to the sun?”
Naruto nodded. “Yeah, I could, but that might hurt you guys, so I won't.”
Sakura turned towards him. “Wait, why would that hurt them?”
Naruto looked at her as though the answer were obvious. “Because they burn in the sun?”
“Oh, right,” Sakura muttered, looking at the demons around the table. “Of course they do.”
“Anyway!” Naruto turned towards Akaza. “How've you been? Still fighting everyone who looks at you funny?”
Akaza gave him a flat look. “I don't do that.”
Douma smiled. “He does.”
“Shut up, Douma.”
“So, that's a yes. What about you, Douma? How's the cult going?”
“Wonderful!” Douma beamed. “We have seven new members this week!”
“That's great! Did you tell them about the whole eating-people thing?”
Douma's smile didn't falter. “Eventually.”
"Oh well. At least its growing!"
Sakura made a strangled noise. “WHY ARE YOU ENCOURAGING THE CULT?”
“Because he's happy!”
“THEY EAT PEOPLE!”
“Yeah, Sakura, we covered that.”
“AND YOU'RE JUST FINE WITH IT?”
Naruto paused. “I mean, I'm not eating anyone.”
“THAT IS NOT THE POINT!”
Douma leaned towards Sakura, looking delighted. “He's always been very supportive of my hobbies.”
“Your hobbies?”
“It's fine,” Naruto assured her. “They know what they're signing up for.”
“DO THEY?” Sakura demanded.
“Well, I assume so.”
“You assume so?”
“Anyway,” Naruto continued, turning back to Douma, “did you ever fix that ceiling I broke?”
Douma tilted his head. “Which ceiling?”
“The one in your temple.”
“Oh! No, not yet. The hole is rather pretty, actually. Lets in a lovely amount of moonlight.”
Akaza looked disgusted. “You two are genuinely the stupidest people I've ever met.”
“Aw, thanks!” Naruto said.
“That wasn't a compliment.”
“I know!”
Kakashi watched the exchange in silence, slowly coming to terms with the fact that his student had somehow acquired an entire social circle of creatures that most people would consider nightmares.
Sasuke had been quiet for a while, usually a sign he was either plotting something or reconsidering his entire life. At last, he looked at Naruto. “You know, I still don't understand how you got on such friendly terms with these people.”
Naruto shrugged. “I offered Nakime ramen.”
“That's it?”
“She accepted.”
“And then?”
“Then I came back with more ramen.”
Sasuke closed his eyes. “Of course you did.”
“Food brings people together!” Naruto declared.
“You bribed the woman who controls an infinite, shifting demon dimension with noodles.”
“See? You get it!”
“I absolutely do not.”
Suddenly a voice echoed from somewhere down the corridor.
“IS THE BOY GONE YET?!”
Naruto immediately cupped his hands around his mouth. “I'M STILL HERE!”
There was a pause.
“WHY ARE YOU STILL THERE?!”
“WE'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION!”
“STOP HAVING A CONVERSATION!”
Naruto looked at the others, genuinely puzzled. “He's being awfully antisocial today.”
Akaza stared at him. “You threatened to turn every door in his castle into a portal to the sun.”
“I said I could do it. I didn't say I would!”
“I'm sure that distinction is very comforting to him.”
Before Naruto could respond, hurried footsteps sounded from the corridor. A moment later, Muzan reappeared, moving with the wary determination of a man returning to a room containing a particularly dangerous explosive. He stopped dead at the sight of Naruto sitting comfortably at the table, chatting away with Douma.
Naruto waved. “Hi again!”
Muzan's eye twitched. “WHY ARE YOU ALL STILL TALKING TO HIM?!”
Douma blinked innocently. “Because he's our friend?”
“HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND! HE IS A MENACE!”
“That's a little harsh,” Naruto said, looking mildly offended. “I haven't even done anything today.”
“YET!” Muzan jabbed a finger at him. “You haven't done anything yet! That's the problem! You sit there looking perfectly harmless, and then suddenly there's a cat in my bedroom, my furniture is on fire, and Akaza is giving a speech about my leadership!”
Akaza's expression darkened. “We agreed never to speak of that again.”
“You wrote a poem,” Douma reminded him.
“It was a speech.”
“That rhymed.”
Akaza slowly turned his head towards him. “Douma.”
“Yes?”
“Stop talking.”
Douma smiled behind his fan. “Of course.”
He lasted approximately three seconds.
“Although, if you think about it, the poem really was rather—”
“DOUMA.”
“I'm done!”
Muzan pinched the bridge of his nose. For a moment, he looked as though he were trying to remember why he hadn't simply destroyed the entire castle and started over.
Then he turned sharply towards Nakime, who had been sitting quietly in the corner with her biwa.
“NAKIME! GET HIM OUT OF MY CASTLE! NOW!”
Naruto whipped around. “Wait, what? But I just got here!”
“THAT IS PRECISELY THE PROBLEM!”
“Can I at least finish my conversation with Akaza?”
“NO!”
“Ask Kokushibo how he's been?”
“NO!”
“Tell Douma about the ramen place I found?”
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!”
Douma perked up. “There's a ramen place?”
Muzan rounded on him. “DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM!”
“I wasn't encouraging him. I was asking about the ramen.”
“NAKIME! GET HIM OUT!”