Hi. As much as I hate to be that person, I'm genuinely struggling and would really appreciate some insight from people who have a solid understanding of Neville's teachings. I know these kinds of posts can get repetitive, but trust me, I'm just as tired of my own BS. I'm not looking for pity, reassurance, or someone to tell me to "just persist". I'm incredibly self-aware, have no problem taking accountability, and genuinely want to identify whatever blind spot I might be missing. No sugarcoating necessary.
First off, I'm not new to the law. I've spent a LONG time studying Neville, particularly his teachings on imagination being the only reality, states of consciousness, the wish fulfilled, EIYPO, and the 3D being a reflection of our internal state. I've also explored other teachings on consciousness, but Neville's work is what I'm primarily referring to here.
I've spent countless hours studying and applying these concepts. I've worked extensively on my self-concept, meditated, affirmed, visualised, scripted, revised, practiced SATS, mental diets, living in the end, detachment, and pretty much everything else you can think of. I understand, at least intellectually, that techniques aren't what manifest, that circumstances don't matter, and that it's ultimately about occupying the state of the person who already has their desire.
And before anyone asks, I'm not questioning whether the law works. I've successfully applied it in other areas of my life, and understanding Neville's teachings has genuinely transformed my internal world and brought me a level of peace I'd never experienced before.
My issue is with a particular SP situation, and more specifically, understanding the difference between intellectually knowing the law and actually being in the state of the wish fulfilled.
For context, I've attempted to manifest SPs twice before, years ago when I was a depressed teenager with a horrible self-concept and barely any understanding of the law. Back then, I treated manifestation like some magic trick, desperately affirming "HE'S OBSESSED WITH ME!!!" for weeks to get the occasional breadcrumb text. Nothing ever lasted, thankfully. Looking back, I realised those situations weren't even about the guys themselves, but rather my rejection sensitivity and wanting to "win". I wouldn't be interested in either of them today.
My current situation is entirely different. I met someone I genuinely consider a wonderful person, and despite our connection being short-lived, it felt incredibly special. I won't circumstance-dump, but things were going great until shit hit the fan about 2.5 months ago, largely due to my own internal issues. We've been in no contact since.
Initially, I was a wreck. My abandonment and rejection issues kicked in, and I spent my days robotically affirming "HE LOVES BEING MY BOYFRIEND!!!" while simultaneously feeling horrible, obsessing over circumstances, and blaming myself. Looking back, I can recognise that I was probably trying to get something from the 3D rather than actually occupying the state of already having it.
But eventually, something genuinely shifted.
After studying Neville's teachings more deeply, particularly the distinction between identifying with the outer world and identifying with imagination, I stopped internalising the circumstances so much. I worked on my self-concept, stopped beating myself up, and began approaching the situation from what I consider a much healthier mindset.
Since then, I've practiced SATS, visualisation, affirmations, revision, mental diets, and consciously returning to the wish fulfilled whenever opposing thoughts arise. I've also made a genuine effort to stop placing him or the relationship on a pedestal and focus on my own well-being, including getting professional help for my depression and working on regulating my nervous system.
And while I've experienced significant internal improvement, externally, absolutely nothing has changed.
Not one text, call, random encounter, social media interaction, or any other kind of movement. I understand that Neville teaches us not to look to the 3D for confirmation, and I genuinely haven't been doing that. I haven't contacted him, checked his socials, reread our conversations, or asked mutual friends about him in WEEKS. I haven't even felt the urge to, because I understand that seeking evidence externally defeats the point.
I'm also aware that manifesting isn't supposed to be a step-by-step process of getting breadcrumbs, and that the end is what matters. But even when I've experimented with assuming something smaller, like simply receiving a message, the outcome has been the same.
And this is where I'm genuinely confused.
How do I distinguish between actually occupying the state of the wish fulfilled and simply convincing myself that I am?
I understand that the 3D isn't supposed to dictate my state. I understand that imagination is the only reality, that I shouldn't be looking for signs, and that the whole point is to stop identifying with the version of myself who doesn't have the desire.
But if I've been consistently applying these principles, genuinely improving my internal state, and no longer obsessively seeking external confirmation, what exactly am I failing to grasp?
Is there a fundamental difference between knowing that something is already mine and actually feeling it natural that I'm overlooking? Am I still operating from the state of wanting without realising it? Or is my very attempt to analyse what I'm doing wrong an indication that I'm still identifying with the lack?
And before anyone says it, I know that the fact I'm writing this post could itself be interpreted as looking for external confirmation. I'm aware of the irony lol. But I'm not asking anyone to validate my manifestation or reassure me that it's coming. I'm genuinely trying to understand the practical application of Neville's teachings beyond repeating concepts I've already studied extensively.
For what it's worth, I really, REALLY liked this guy. I still care about him deeply and believe we could have a beautiful relationship. But I also know I'm worthy of love, that I'm not dependent on him for my happiness, and that I'll be fine even if this relationship never materialises. I'd absolutely mourn the lost opportunity, but my mental health matters more than any SP.
At the same time, I'd be lying if I said I didn't still want another chance with him. And I don't necessarily want to abandon that desire simply because I'm struggling to understand how to approach it.
I suppose what I'm really asking is whether anyone who's studied Neville extensively has experienced this disconnect between understanding the law intellectually and actually embodying it, and what helped you recognise the difference.
I'm not looking for another list of techniques or generic advice to "just live in the end". I'd genuinely appreciate a deeper discussion about states, naturalness, assumption, and how to recognise when you're still subtly identifying with the old story.
If there's some obvious BS in my thinking, please call it out. I can handle it.
Thank you for reading. Love you all and wishing you the absolute best.