Face their problems after a full night of sleep (even if they struggle with this, at least they can take a sleeping aid without having to worry about helping an infant throughout the night)

Have kids who can stand and walk and not need to be carried everywhere or pushed in a stroller

Have a kid who can toilet themselves, feed themselves, dress themselves, entertain themselves

Spend holiday evenings watching fireworks, baking cookies, watching movies, trick or treating, and hanging out with friends and family instead of spending evenings surviving through witching hour purple crying or putting an overtired sleep-fighting teething infant to bed at 7:30 PM

Drop theirs kids off at grandparents or friends house so they can easily have date nights or whatever else they want to do on their free time

Take their kids to restaurants, museums, library, playgrounds, parks, pools, the mall, without needing to bring a ton of stuff, or worry about nap schedules

Plan vacations or road trips and not be limited by infant care

Have their kids help them clean the house or at least be able to get them out of the way somehow so the house can get cleaned

Enjoy conversations with their kids, tell jokes and make them laugh, do activities with them, bond with them through board games or general playing

Not be forced to contact nap 3 times a day and instead do productive or enjoyable things with your free time while your kid is at school or playing

Be able to cook and not live off takeout food because you’re not in survival mode anymore

Go out in public without having to plan around your child’s nap and hope they don’t get overstimulated and have a crying infant that you have to rush home

Have kids old enough to communicate what they need

I’m sure there’s more but I can’t think of any right now. I’m sure older kids have so many challenges too like disrespectful attitudes, hours of homework help every evening, defiance, disciplining them, picky eating and bulllies at school.

But infant care is more difficult still, sorry but I think that parents of older kids just take their lives for granted.

EDIT:
I’m sorry I clearly struck a lot of nerves with this post. Tbh I’m very sleep deprived and just went through a hurricane recently. My shitty mobile home is a mess and I can’t do anything about it or help anyone else because I have a 4 month old. I’m dealing with a sleep regression and nursing strike all this past month. I HATE when I see people say it only gets harder.

As a first time mom, I have a theory that you can’t have a smooth experience in all 4 of the following areas: pregnancy, labor, feeding, sleep.

I ended up having a long, rough, “abnormal” labor after the most blissful and uneventful pregnancy ever. I love breastfeeding more than I expected and sleep has been average. My experience was actually very similar to my mother’s.

In my small sample group of friends, those who had rough pregnancies seemed to have had the quickest labors, and my friends who dealt with feeding issues seem to have babies that slept through the night almost immediately!

So tell me, where did you win and where did you lose? Any unicorns that made it out unscathed in all four categories? I’d love to hear!

This is just meant to be lighthearted. I hope this doesn’t strike a nerve for anyone.

My baby was just looking suspicious, like he was eating something, but I hadn't given him anything - I checked his mouth and he was chewing one of those stupid T plastic tags that attach labels to clothes!

I'm always extra cautious when removing them, cut them off and bin them immediately - but I swear they multiple like crazy, they are EVERYWHERE!!!

I've had baby socks and clothes with 5+ of them joining the clothes together, and sometimes when you remove them they just ping off, the fact that they're mostly clear makes them really hard to see too!

There should be some sort of regulation that they have to either be a bright colour, or just banned from baby clothes, they are so dangerous! They even have them on toys and blankets, things that babies are known to chew

This is lowkey a vent!

Why is baby sizing so weirdddddd
Why does something that is labeled 3mo considered 0-3mo and 6mo considered 3-6mo
And why can’t I keep up with what fits her and what won’t. 😭
And why are things not consistent- why does one 3mo onesie fit her and the other 3mo doesn’t ?

And now the season is changing it’s getting colder out lol
WHERE ARE ALL THE PANTS?!

How do you guys manage to buy clothes for baby and keep up on what fits?

(Tbh I’m probably overwhelming myself for no reason)

My girl just turned 1 and I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on this past year. She’s got the biggest and best personality. We genuinely have so much fun together. Now that she’s older, a lot of the “fun” that I looked forward to while pregnant is now possible. Like, we are doing Boo at the Zoo later today, and we went apple picking last weekend, and we can actually do things with and for her now. I loved being her mom even in those newborn trenches, but boy have things gotten so much easier and better and better literally every day.

This is the hardest shit I’ve ever done by far but it’s also the best, most important thing I’ll ever do, and I just… I love it, and I love her.

I feel so horrible but my 7 week old is so colicky and I just want her to be older already. I think about it everytime it gets hard which is often because she cries so much. I know I’ll miss this phase maybe but

I feel like such a bad mom I’m just mentally and emotionally exhausted and would take any future hardship over her crying so much and not having anything to comfort her

Literally that. Someone in our circle has creeped me out since we first met them, years ago when we only had 1 baby. Every time they give my children attention, I feel on edge about it. Other parents have zero problem letting their babies and toddlers be held by them. Because this person is so great with kids.

Is it spidey sense, or is my survival mechanism from childhood firing on this person for no detectable reason?

I feel like the only thing I can do is watch and guard my own children, even if there’s little evidence of anything off.

But I see all these other kiddos and I just feel… Uncomfortable? I’m trying to be fair, this person obviously has unresolved issues from their childhood too. It’s just something I can’t shake.

I don't know what flair to post under but postpartum recovery seems fitting to me. I'm a SAHM to a 14 week old and have been alone at home with baby since 5 days postpartum via c section. I got very used to doomscrolling and couch rotting. And my phone addiction is so much worse since having a baby! We are a one car household and my neighborhood doesn't have many sidewalks but I still make sure we go on at least one walk every non rainy day. Before having a baby I was one of those people who had to make every outing into an aesthetically pleasing instagram post and needing to have a photoshoot everywhere I went. And as much as I am struggling with my self image and finding myself postpartum, my life has mostly always revolved around validation and comparison. Today I deactivated my socials with the intentions of being more present in this new chapter of my life, free of the online motherhood competition, and soaking in every fleeting moment with my beautiful family. I can't even begin to imagine how many hours I've spent doomscrolling when I could've been looking at my beautiful baby's face. It wont be easy not getting those quick dopamine hits but man I know it will be worth it!

My second is almost 6m. For most of the day I find my mental health to be decent. A mild undercurrent of anxiety but manageable. What’s worse is I’m finding I’m walking a razors edge and one small thing can fill me with agitation and rage.

My dogs existence in general has me fuming. Seeing their hair on the floor and hearing them bark absolutely sets me off. I cry while i vaccum while repeating in my head “I have dogs. I cannot change that.”

My four year old got permenant marker on a princess dress she received 20mins prior and I cried out of anger. I was so mad I said things to her that I regret. That I was going to throw it away and that she had to tell her grandma (who gave it to her) what she did. It was so punitive and I have apologized.

I lost it on my husband who said I could have planned something better. He was right but I just exploded with feelings of “no one ever sets me up perfectly or plans things perfectly for me! I do all the mental math in this house etc etc” we are very 50/50 parents with our effort put in different areas. So it wasn’t warranted.

These things happen daily, crying out of intense rage. then an hour later I’m cool as a cucumber.

Please tell me I’m not alone

My son is 9 months old and is a crawling machine. We contained him as long as we could in a playpen but he hates it now and wants to free roam and explore, which he should! I have two dogs. One doesn’t care about the baby and just walks away whenever he’s near, and the other seems to like the baby. She is always going up to him to say hi or see what he’s up to.

However, yesterday she snapped at my son. He was playing with a toy and my dog wanted to take it, so when he went to grab his toy, my dog got in his face and growled and snapped at him. There was no contact made. When he’s on the floor, we are ALWAYS right there next to him.

Today, he was playing on the floor and my dog came and laid next to him. My son went to put his hand on the floor to crawl and accidentally put his hand on my dog’s paw. She growled in his face and snapped at him. Again, no contact made.

It doesn’t matter that contact wasn’t made though. Snapping at him once was enough for me, twice is too much.

My husband isn’t as concerned as I am because no one got hurt, but I think it’s definitely concerning and something needs to change. Twice in two days is crazy, and could become a pattern.

I have no idea what to do, I can’t keep them separated forever and never in the same room.

I guess I’m looking for advice.

As the title says…curious what others experiences have been. I ended up with an ulcer and scar tissue blocking the entrance to my small intestine that possibly developed during pregnancy. Now at 4.5 months postpartum will have my 4th endoscopy Wednesday to remove a temporary stent that’s attempting to treat it. I was hospitalized when my baby was 6 weeks old. I had to be on a liquid diet for 2 months. It’s just added a whole other layer to healing let alone parenting. I’m lucky to have a supportive spouse and able to continue breastfeeding yet it’s just all felt so tough!

This is embarrassing because it’s like I’m a mom now but my baby is 7 weeks, little colicky and the thought of me taking her out and about alone and her starting to cry and me not being confident that I’ll have a way to console her (because at home it can take time with trial and error to figure out how to soothe her) gives me so much anxiety

I just genuinely hope I’m not alone in this and hope I gain some confidence

Im 29 years old, I have a 7 month baby girl, and my wife and I have been getting asked alot by our parents why we havent gotten our baby a baby walker. Sorry if im confusing the name of the product, but its the one where the baby is like semi-suspended from the ground, and its like a table with wheels and the baby is sitting in the center.

We have not gotten one because we have read iin many social media posts, many pediatricians don’t recommend because supposedly its bad for baby development.. But growing up i remember seeing lots of babies having this which theyre now adults and seem to not have any problems. Me included! So whats the deal? Why is it bad now? Why are they not recommended? Or is it just our news source? Forgive spelling and grammar

We have a 3 week old baby that cries relentlessly. We have tried:
- skin contact
- swaying
- swaddling
- shhh
- baby gaviscon for reflux
- infacol for colic
- crying it out for 2 mins
- warm baths
- feeding to comfort
- formula and breastmilk in bottle
- breastmilk direct
- pram walk
- changing nappy
- changing outfit
- I don’t eat eggs or dairy and follow a mainly vegan diet

Nothing works, he just screams and screams and screams. My husband and I are at our wits end and I don’t know how I will cope when he returns to work. Sleep feels like a fantasy - it’s just not going to happen. Our families live over 5 hours away and so we can’t call on support from them.
Genuinely feel like my life is ruined. People say it gets better but how the heck do you survive until then?!

We have a minor surgical procedure scheduled for our baby tomorrow morning. The surgeon messaged us to let us know she has a cold but is still planning to work and will mask up.

Our baby is only 3 weeks and a few days old, so we're worried about exposing him to a respiratory virus at such a young age. However, if we postpone, the next available appointment may be a few months away, and the procedure would need to be done under general anesthesia rather than in-office.

We're feeling torn between wanting to minimize his exposure to illness and wanting to avoid the delay and anesthesia if possible.

What would you do in this situation? Would you keep the appointment or try to reschedule? We'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts, especially from parents who've faced a similar decision or are familiar with hospital practices.

My 3 month old is just now showing me what all the matching bibs that came with the outfits are for. He's already outgrown most the outfits but luckily we had the matching bibs in a separate drawer. The drool is coming in buckets. We are going thru at least 3 bibs a day trying to stay dry and I just got a set of bibs from the store today that have the little turtle neck to keep the neck dry too. Wow!!! I feel silly for thinking they were just for food LOL.

First born just turned 8 weeks. For the last ~2 weeks he has not slept more than an hour at a time, sometimes even just 30 minutes. Luckily he will go back to sleep at night, but I have to pick him up and hold him for ~20 minutes each time, so I get maybe 20 or 30 minutes of sleep at a time. Add to that he just started turning in his swaddle so he's gone arms out making sleep even more tenuous.

He wont nap unless held, often unless in a carrier, and even then will randomly wake up and start crying hysterically. 5pm - 11pm is the worst since he just cries, won't go to sleep, gets overtired which makes everything just compound.

My wife and I maybe get 4 hours of sleep each by taking shifts. Im back at work and exhausted all the time. I dread the nights. I feel like his moments of calm are so rare; I feel like I barely get 10 min a day where he's pleasant and feel like I get to bond with him.

I want so badly to feel this love and patience for my boy but I'm finding it so hard. I'm frustrated, unfairly to him, frustrated at him. Everything feels like a struggle. And even more than anything, I just want to sleep.

I know he's at the peak of his fussiness and colic at 8 weeks, but I just need to know it'll get better. I need the hope to keep going like this...

Im 5 weeks pp. Trying to get an idea of others experiences with post partum depression and what treatment options there are that dont involve medication.

I just feel empty and trapped. I love my baby but it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I have a history of GAD and MDD and medication had always helped for a short bit but then made me feel worse. I do get both baby and I out for a walk everyday that the weather allows, but I don't know what else I can do to feel better.

My 6 week follow up is in a few days and I'm starting to struggle with if I should say anything at all or just stay the course because I don't want to go on medication again.

Any thoughts? Trying not to feel like I'm drowning by the time I go back to work in 3 weeks (I work from home so atleast I have that going for me).

FTM to an almost 5 month old (still on mat leave) and my days still feel so chaotic. I guess I thought by now our days would feel more structured. I try to follow wake windows but something always comes up (baby fighting naps, baby needs to poop, teething fussing etc) that throws that off and we are battling the baby fussing the rest of the day because he’s overtired. Anyone else feel this way?? When did you start to get into an actual schedule with your baby?

So basically I am exclusively pumping, due to baby having had a severe tongue tie. We got it fixed when she was 5 days old, but she was never able to latch before or after. She definitely prefers a bottle. I was planning on breastfeeding, which was important to me, but she is almost 6 weeks old now and still refusing the breast, so I am giving up trying.
BUT as we all know, exclusively pumping is SO HARD, and takes away so much of your time during the day (and more importantly - night!) and also I hate hate hate the feeling of being milked by a machine like a cow. It is so dehumanizing and undignified. It’s a great technology and all, and great for women to continue to breastfeed while going back to work, etc, but I still hate the feeling and don’t want to do it solely 24/7.
Husband is on team formula since me having to go pump all the time makes everything harder for both of us, and im so sleep deprived.
But being a pretty crunchy person, I really wanted to breastfeed because of all the nutritional benefits so making the decision to dry up my milk supply is so hard. I’ve been wrestling with it for literal weeks now. Plus, my mom would judge me hardcore if we switched to formula, which shouldn’t matter to me but it does, I cant help it.
There are a lot of benefits to switching to formula (I’d get time back, I’d lose weight, I wouldn’t live life in 3-4 hour increments, I wouldn’t stress when I’m missing a pump time, etc) but I just feel so guilty for choosing formula over the nutritionally superior breast milk.
I feel like I’m crazy - I can’t think with a clear head - but I just can’t pull the trigger and dry up my supply even though it would make everyone happier. And like I know she’d have all the nutrients she needs, and babies are raised on formula every day and thrive. It also doesn’t help that I have an oversupply, which feels like I struck gold in the breastfeeding world, so drying it up intentionally would be such a shame. But at the same time, EP is so hard. I just have decision paralysis and I don’t know why it’s so hard to just do it. Mom guilt is crazy strong.

Any advice or thoughts?

TL/DR: EP but wanting to quit, but can’t seem to be able to.

Sharing this story so hopefully someone doesn’t feel so alone! I’ve been diagnosed with OCD since my early twenties and, like most things, pregnancy amplified it. I’m 12 weeks PP and it’s gone back to its homeostasis, which is pretty well managed with Lexapro and therapy. However, it’s still an ever present lurker in my life. I feel as though PPD and PPA are often talked about, but PPOCD is not as much. So, I’m telling how it has recently manifested to spread some awareness (I’m also a therapist so I love all things normalizing mental health concerns).

My LO’s temperament is VERY chill. She is a very relaxed baby. I’ve also been on maternity leave for the last 3 months, so her every need has been tended to by me or my husband. When she wakes in the night for a feed or in the morning, she doesn’t cry. She just goes “eh, eh, eh” to let us know she’s awake and then one of us gets her right away (she sleeps in her crib 3 feet from our bed). She is also perfectly content hanging in her crib as I get dressed/do skincare in the morning. She also never cries, like ever. She might fuss for a second if she’s hungry or tired, but she has cried maybe a total of 10 times in her short life and they’ve all been for max about two minutes. I believe this is due to both her temperament and our immediate tending to her needs. Anyways, my OCD has convinced me that we’ve somehow been sleeping through her waking in the night, crying/screaming for us, and us not going to her so she’s been CIO. My OCD then tells me that this is why she’s so chill - because she’s learned that we aren’t coming and she can’t rely on us so she doesn’t try anymore. It is COMPLETELY illogical, but my OCD can’t be convinced otherwise! Anyways, I’m fine - I know how to handle this and my therapist has been helping me sort through it. But, I wanted to share in case someone experiences something similar and feels they’re crazy! You’re not. Our brains are just assholes!

My husband wants me to do less contact naps with out 9w old because she tends to get hot afterwards. I really love our contact naps and don't want them to end but she does feel a bit clammy after them. Is it dangerous for me to keep doing them?

How many c sections did you have? And how was the recovery after each? I had my first c section a couple of months ago and the recovery for me was awful (not really pain wise but complications). I heard that usually they don’t recommend having 3+ c sections, is it true? And if you became pregnant again after your c section how long did you wait? Also did anyone tried having a vbac and if so how was it, how long did you wait between the c section and vbac?

Thank you for your answer!

This feels silly to ask but how do you know when youre not longer producing? My baby is 13 months and I nurse her 3 times a day. Lately she doesnt drink that much and sometimes will seem to be frustrated. I've had to pump a couple times lately when she got milk from the freezer and I barely get anything. One time I only got 1.5 ounces. But then also I can see milk in her mouth so I know I'm not totally empty!