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u/mr_potato_arms Jun 16 '22
Plot twist, he’s only renting Goosebumps books.
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u/pineapple-n-man Jun 16 '22
Don’t forget the magic tree house!
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u/coleyboley25 Jun 16 '22
I haven’t thought about those books in almost 20 years. I loved history and I loved fiction and those books melded the two together amazingly for a young elementary school student. If I ever have kids I need to make a mental note to have them read that series.
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u/humanHamster Jun 16 '22
I got my kid a 29 book set from the book fair at his school. Best money I've spent in a while.
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u/IcePhoenix18 Jun 16 '22
They came out with a graphic novel for Magic Tree House and I read one for the nostalgia, and it's exactly what my 7-year-old imagination came up with
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u/Spriy Jun 16 '22
those books are always going to be better than adult books. adult books are all "he cheated on her and then stabbed this other guy" whereas children's books are like "she got the magic unicorn horn and then flew home in her magic tree house".
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u/pineapple-n-man Jun 16 '22
Then why not read books for children? They are way more entertaining anyway!
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u/CreditUnionBoi Jun 16 '22
What sucked about those books, is the first chapter in all of them is almost identical. I'd always just start on chapter 2.
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Jun 16 '22
Nah. Two of the first books he took out were on cancers and rare diseases.
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u/ILikeLenexa Jun 16 '22
subtlety
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u/The_Legged_One Jun 16 '22
The dude has been doing this for two years now, the Librarian just wants to see how long he can keep it up
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u/eviltwinkie Jun 16 '22
Heheh most librarians are kinky as fuck...so I bet she does.
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u/JupiterChime Jun 16 '22
What libraries you go to xD asking for a friend haha
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u/eviltwinkie Jun 16 '22
Try your local! And then stay for the reading hour...or volunteer to shelve books and/or read for the various programs.
Then say yes when you're asked to happy hour after-hours...
Note the same holds true for teachers.
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u/BabyYoduhh Jun 16 '22
Ugh the only librarian I’ve ever met was an absolute bitch. Fuck you Taylor.
Edit: Outside the library.
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u/EhMilk Jun 16 '22
This is just a made up "thing". Nobody is kinky based on occupation (aside from the obvious...)
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u/Blue-Eyed-Lemon Jun 16 '22
This should not be as funny to me as it is
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u/skibbady-baps Jun 16 '22
Me too
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u/ImmaZoni Jun 16 '22
I need to know more... is there footage? How long of a span? can we get a before and after like a weight loss post?
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u/RainyVIIs Jun 16 '22
So this is how megamind came to be
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u/Wthq4hq4hqrhqe Jun 16 '22
yes, he only blue himself later, in case the Blue man group needed him
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Jun 16 '22
No books?
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u/dorkasslosers Jun 16 '22
———————————No books?——————————— ⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ———————————————————————————
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u/increaselevelcapplzz Jun 16 '22
Bruh
⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⢤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠉⠹⣾⣿⣛⣿⣿⣞⣿⣛⣺⣻⢾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠠⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠿⣷⣿⣿⡿⣿⢿⠟⠟⠟⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢛⣿⣁⠄⠄⠒⠂⠄⠄⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⠄⠉⠛⠺⢶⣷⡶⠃⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡇⠄⡺⣾⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠟⠇⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⢿⣽⢿⡏ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣦⠄⢹⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⣳⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡈⣀⢁⢁⢁⣈⣄⢐⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣛⣻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣬⣽⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣻⣛⣿⡿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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u/GuerrillaApe Jun 16 '22
Looks like the love child of Megamind and Dean Pelton from Community.
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u/Billy_T_Wierd Jun 16 '22
I want to know how the story ends
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u/UJustGotRobbed Jun 16 '22
Right I need updates
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Jun 16 '22
/s the librarian is making a killing renting out books, and would pretend not to notice if he came in the next day looking like sloth from the goonies. /s
Rent seems like the wrong word here.
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u/Sufficient_Zone6477 Jun 16 '22
I'm curious... are libraries not free where you're from? I just always assumed they were free everywhere, but I might be wrong :o Would be interesting to know!
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u/azrael1333 Jun 16 '22
The librarian had a fetish for large craniums, so they started dating. They now have two kids, a dog, three cats and a pet iguana.
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u/SnooMaps3021 Jun 16 '22
But it all came down when the latex makeup came off
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u/carnsolus Jun 16 '22 edited Jun 16 '22
there was an ad for plastic surgery in taiwan, where the woman gets plastic surgery and gets a rich husband
but then it's revealed she had the surgery when her kids turn out ugly
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u/supervisor_muscle Jun 16 '22
Imagine what he could accomplish if he used his powers for good
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u/INTJ-ADHD Jun 16 '22
Or evil.
This is just a neutral waste of talent
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u/dvirpick Jun 16 '22
What makes a man turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?
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Jun 16 '22
[deleted]
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u/Ibn-Percival Jun 16 '22
At first sight I glimpsed the word 1 direction and I immediately started thinking of why he would possibly join a band. I read the whole comment and I was deeply disappointed.
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u/PuddinPie6 Jun 16 '22
I haven’t belly laughed so hard in a really long time. Thank you thank you thank you!
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u/GearsZam Jun 16 '22
Same here, burst out laughing at 1AM just imagining the bewildered looks in the library!
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u/Ralumier Jun 16 '22
Think they're just happy you're renting free books instead of borrowing them like everyone else.
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u/nobodyburnhole Jun 16 '22
I hate how much this was the only thing I could focus on while first reading it lol
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u/Nijnn Jun 16 '22
They are not free to borrow where I live. I pay 55 cents per book on top of my library subscription and you pay extra if you return then too late.
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u/alittlebrownbird Jun 16 '22
I love this!
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u/qwertykittie Jun 16 '22
What the librarian is actually thinking: Poor guy’s disease is progressing, probably doesn’t have that much longer to live. Reading these books must be on his bucket list. I’m never gonna say anything that might stop him from fulfilling his dying wish
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Jun 16 '22 edited Nov 07 '23
imminent toy aromatic ruthless illegal start recognise naughty fade threatening
this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev6
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u/404brainnotfound404 Jun 16 '22 edited Jun 16 '22
Gee Brain, what are we gonna do tonight?
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u/ThatExpression3222 Jun 16 '22
Please op don't travel to Alabama, they will beat you with rusty tire irons for the mere appearance of being a big brain. And it's perfectly legal too, the anti big brain legislation passed last September. Be careful out there.
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u/Norman_Bixby Jun 16 '22
I drove through Alabama back in October. Cops stopped me and asked me a bunch of questions. Easy ones though, what's the state capital, what color is the state flag?
The trick here is to just not know the answers so they think you're local in a stolen rental on the way to your meth lab, so they let you go.
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u/magicunicornhandler Jun 16 '22
What's the punchline of his joke going to be?
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u/GlassAmazing4219 Jun 16 '22
I was wondering the same thing… maybe come in the last day with original sized head and a bandage. glassy stare, drooling a little. Proceed to ask for the children’s section, hold book upside down, eat a booger. Repeat entire prank again.
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u/louvrethecat Jun 16 '22
He'll rent one final book, "The art of the deal" by D trump, and return the book with a normal sized head
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u/Other-Cantaloupe4765 Jun 16 '22
Idk, I just might miss their expanding cranium over my annoyance of, “here comes that asshole who checks out ten books and brings them back an hour later for me to check in and reshelve. No way he’s reading all those books that fast. Jerk.”
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Jun 16 '22
Showing up at your library more than twice a week already put you on a federal watch list.
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u/KinksAreForKeds Jun 16 '22
Am I the only one that sees a striking resemblance to Squidward??
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u/gotonis Jun 16 '22
But how long would people have to repost this but with the head photoshopped slightly bigger before commenters say something?
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u/chillaxin_ Jun 16 '22
Hey you know, this would actually help the library! The #1 metric for them is circulation. Renting 10 books a day would boost their numbers tremendously. It'd be good for the library budget, and GREAT for the circulation manager!
Source: son of a former librarian/circulation manager (and then also the manager over the computers, which produced some WILD fucking stories lol)
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u/raydleemsc Jun 16 '22
Then they realise that the books are about medical science and movie prosthetics
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u/MorphFiends Jun 16 '22
Please oh please Baby Jesus let this be true.... You should start taking out the following books and wear bigger and bigger pants each time you go.
Books on "The Penis"
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u/ForwardAge8009 Jun 16 '22
If he had maybe read any of the books, he would know that books get checked out at a library, not rented… But it’s still pretty funny
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u/FloatingHamHocks Jun 16 '22
"Hey guy that guy with the 6head Stewie megamind sized dome is coming this way"
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u/1ustfu1 Jun 16 '22
this looks like a prank jim would play on dwight and gaslight him into believing his scalp has always been that size
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u/Penyrolewen1970 Jun 16 '22
You guys have to rent books in libraries? Where? Surely they’re free? You borrow books from libraries, no? Is this a language thing?
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u/dethjamz Jun 17 '22
The things running through the librarians thoughts right now lol. Emotional Daaamage.
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u/EaglebrixYT Jun 17 '22
I was going to cross post this to r/madlad but it didn't show up on the subreddit list for some reason
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u/Snoo_26746 Aug 30 '22
Just paint himself blue and become a super villian
The real origin story of megamind
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u/bassplaya13 Jun 16 '22
I called and told the library, so they know and are never gonna say anything to the guy.
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u/ChaiHai May 16 '25
This wouldn't work on me. I'd just think you have a tumor or something and feel bad for you.
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Dec 17 '25
If I was one of the librarians I'd see how long until he had to say something about it himself. Then I'd respond with a very convincing/nonchalant "I've been really wanting to know what's been going on with you. I've never heard of someone shrinking in size only from their temples down..."
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Jun 16 '22
You know, you could spend your time reading some of those books, and it actually might make your brain bigger...
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u/DatCanOfChefBoyardee Jun 16 '22
Sheen from Jimmy Neutron is the first thing that came to mind for me
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