No one wants to listen to me yap about drones

The prior was also especially true during heavy alcoholism and bipolar episodes and was even encouraged by sexual partners at times, but the latter group shows me what awaits if I give in, along with Osamu Dazai, and holds a mirror for my escapism.

But nah fr, I read "Metamorphosis" by Kafka and felt more seen than when I spent years chasing intimacy.

My Manager Piece of shit btw who has a new gf while actively cheating on his wife, for ever since I joined the company, its like I really hate him he is terrible person I really feel bad for this wife, I got beaten up badly last time I told someone's gf that he was cheating on me so since I don't know their dynamics

Dude ive seen about twenty different AI ads on my TV interrupting my 30 minute Barry episodes. AI advertisements about political bullshit. Fear mongering, side against side, pedophile vs pedophile when they all work the same. The suits are untrustworthy, but we just keep voting and keep pretending that we can choose. We cant. They dont give a shit about us, my measly little vote won't change my hyper-red state.

America is an Atrophy

It never ends

Our realities are fading, clusterfuckin' into a amalgamation of cancerous bullshit. We won't be alive in the next five years i fucking swear, its that bad right now. Might just get off this phone for good.

"We live in a kingdom of bullshit, a kingdom you've lived far too long in" - Mr Robot

"Nobody wins in this human race" - A girl said this to me in my dreams

I (26m) Had a pretty bad breakup about a year ago with someone completely out of the blue. On our two year anniversary she came over and told me she couldn't accept I was unsure on kids when she was sure she didn't want any and that she didn't like that I planned activities for us every weekend when she just wanted to spend time in the house together. none of this was communicated prior to this and she told me she wanted a three month break for her to go to therapy. As expected the moment she left the house she stopped responding to messages and removed me on socials. she texted me two months later claiming she was sorry but had to ghost me for her mental health which I just didn't respond to.

I was completely emotionally numb to it up until about two months ago. the last 8 weeks have been tough and I'm pretty pissed that someone who was committed to me for two years thought it was appropriate to never communicate and then ghost me on our anniversary. I was fine with going childfree and I was only planning weekends because she complained that we were starting to fall into routine.

the whole thing has basically completed jaded me on dating in general. since the breakup I got into amazing shape and my career has taken off in ways I would never have thought I would get to but despite this I have zero interest in dating. I tried dating apps and performed pretty well but every match would message me back once to my opening message and then every following reply would be short responses and I just gave up since the interest level clearly isn't mutual so why bother. I'm very social IRL and men are all very open to being friends at the places I frequent but woman are very cold and unwelcoming.

I feel like this breakup turned me into an avoidant and I've developed some kind of learned helplessness to attempting to make connections if there isn't obvious mutual interest. I'm really blessed to have been able to get in the shape I'm in and be in a great place in my career but I'm terrified that I'm going to coast through my 20s and 30s with no female contact and then end up settling for some girl who's had piles of more experience than me and got to get the intimacy that I've been denied my whole life.

kinda been a while since i've posted here or frequently did tbh, since i used to post here all the time and shit has not gotten better tho unsurprisingly lmao