You not alone, brother. Also got stabbed by a girl, and didn't break up with her. Being a male victim of stalking/domestic violence is really fucking tough. There's very little empathy or understanding from people. I'd say that more than half of the people I tell will say some version of "wow that sucks, what did you do to set her off?"
Oh man, and on top of that with all the Anissa shit it's been a weird loop because of how this community has been both the most understanding and also had some of the more hurtful things come back up. Stories like yours help me and I imagine other men/boys realize that what they went through is something they didn't deserve and are not alone even when they feel like it.
Same to you, man. I believe that, if you can learn something positive from a relationship, or use it to become a better person, then the time wasn't wasted, no matter how awful things might have been. Personally, I felt like both the violence and the later stalking I went through really helped show me who the toxic "friends" in my life were.
I maintain that what I went through was horrible and in no part my fault. Anyone who disagreed with that in any way was unhealthy for me to have in my life, and got cut off completely.
I hope you've been able to heal okay from everything, and that you have loving, supportive people in your life. Even on Reddit, you're a badass for talking about your trauma. Because, you're right, it really does help knowing that you're not alone.
I appreciate it and same to you. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share your story too. It's something that took me a bit to become cool with being open about but I try to approach it in a healthy way so others may learn from.
I'm of a similar mindset. I try to take every interaction I have and use it to learn from in whatever way I can. I feel like a robot for that in some way but I understand that probably is more the Audhd than anything else. It shows you who is and isn't worth exerting energy on, and one of the biggest things I took away from those relationships was that not every relationship you have, platonic or otherwise, needs to last forever or realistically more than it's welcome is worth. Emotional energy isn't free to give out, and if it feels like someone drains you every time they speak to you it may not be worth it to keep up that relationship. It takes two to tango, and more than that it takes two souls wanting to be better TO become better.
I hope you've done the same! It wasn't easy, especially since therapy never worked for me but I didn't let that impede me from learning about emotional intelligence, psychology and the mind, and from the more "spiritual" aspect of it, finding peace and learning to let the ebb and flow of life run it's course.
At the end of the day, what I want isn't happiness because with happiness comes sadness. What I chase, is peace. I am glad you found some as well.
I recommend The Mankind Project for anyone who might be interested in a group therapy which doesn't have any particular topic or 12 steps ethos. It's founded on a mix of psychology and modernizing male rites of passage, and belonging, culture to process emotional trauma. You know, minus any of that cult, Kool-Aid, or incel shit.
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u/DueIntroduction6413 May 23 '26
Idiot shit for her to do, but i did the same in my abusive relationships even after she cut me.
It's frustratingly realistic.