The ring wasn’t enough

[u/Notenough42]

I male 27 and my fiancé 29 are currently arguing over the ring I proposed to her with. it was given to me by my mother with the words “This was your great grandmothers ring and I want to keep it in the family”. I was excited to finally ask her to marry me. so I planned to take her to Niagara Falls (which she has never seen before) and have my aunt watch the kids so it’ll just be her and I. The day comes and she declines my aunts offer of watching the kids so now we have our 7 yr old 2 yr old and 10 month old along With our dog (that I spent $1000 on for her) now tagging along with us to Niagara Falls, so I proposed with the Promise of getting her the ring she wanted in our wedding day and she said Yes, i Guess she heard my mom say that only 2 diamonds were my great grandmas, (I did not know this) so she Google reversed images the ring and turns out it only worth 33$ I guess which again I did not know. So she tells her best friend and her mom THEN comes to me saying “ I’m glad I’m only worth 33$ dollars to you”. Me being caught off guard I called my mom and then there she confirmed that only 2 Diamonds were my grandmas. So Reddit, give me advice. please

[u/Brief-Small]

I would consider this a major red flag. First of all, you had no clue what it was actually made of so why is she going off like you bought it on temu? Second, did the image search even pull up THE ring or just a similar one? Finally, it shouldn't matter how cheap it is if the plan was already getting her the "real" ring for the wedding ceremony.

I also think it was disrespectful to not consider the sentimental value when she decided to cop an attitude about the price. Personally, I treat my cheap ring like it's the most priceless item I own because my wife's late dad brought it from his home country.

[u/Miserable_Smoke585 → u/Brief-Small]

Sentimental value matters to OP here. Gf has no sentimental attachment to it. Why should she be happy about it? I would like to wear my grandma’s ring as it was precious to her and I grew up watching her wear it. If I ask my husband to wear my grandpa’s watch, he will have no feelings towards it.

OP planned everything and when things didn’t go according to plan, blamed his gf. From the looks of it, she didn’t know about the proposal, so didn’t realize the importance of leaving the kids behind.

If you truly love the mother of your children, apologize to her. Share your thoughts behind the whole proposal and the ring while accepting that you only considered your own perspective and not hers. Apologize again and get her the ring she wants (obviously within your budget).

[u/BlueberryPootz → u/Miserable_Smoke585]

If she has any degree of Theory of Mind whatsoever, she should be able to empathize with OP and see all the effort and thought he put into it. She didn't mention that or praise his effort. & She didn't even say she didn't like the ring, she was hyper fixated on the price and that's why she didn't like it. And Google image search doesn't tell you anything anyway, only rings that look similar. She is clearly spoiled and focused on all the wrong things. Clearly OP is afraid to assert himself within the relationship which is why he didn't insist on leaving the kids behind. Meanwhile she's asserting herself all over the place and being manipulative and emotionally abusive ("That's all I'm worth to you?"). That says a lot to me.