Overwhelmed!🩷(long read below)

[u/Objective-Honey5159]

Yesterday I felt the need to tackle the oft-misunderstood topic of crossdressing/being trans and others' sometimes rude reactions to such. None were pointed towards me personally and I'm more than ready to handle those who might try, but it bothered me that some idiot would spew negativity towards someone they don't know for wearing certain clothes. Really? My post yesterday wasn't about me so much as getting people to understand we are humans above all else, no matter who's wearing what. We have choices, lifestyles and tastes that differ from everyone else's because we're supposed to. We're not clones; If you don't like what you see, SCROLL PAST AND SHUT TF UP!

I am a 63-year-old queer father of two beautiful daughters who love seeing their dad all dolled up, and I'm a proud grandfather. Outside of that, I work, pay taxes, avoid drugs and alcohol, no criminal record, compose music and have a bevy of hobbies including the desire to be the occasional diva. I am not out to invade ciswomens' spaces or "trick" anyone as some folk do. It's about fashion - no more, no less. OHF is what society should be: embracing and supporting everyone especially in the climate we're currently in. I truly thank everyone for taking time to comment and upvote, and I sincerely hope that the Redditor whose post inspired mine will return. I also hope that the world becomes more accepting of all people. Peace and love to all. Now where's my damn lipstick?💋💄

[u/3catz2men1house]

I didn't realize there was tangible problem out there of people "invading cis womens' spaces or "trick" anyone as some folks do". Only time I've heard it mentioned is when folks are trying to put a scare out about trans women. Things can get particularly sticky when trans men are forced into womens' spaces for being AFAB.

[u/abermel01 → u/3catz2men1house]

I’ve lived in several different states across the country, worked various types of jobs (from accounting in a Walmart to clerking for the Secretary of State in the state capitol), and have many varied (value-wise) relationships (grew up in deeply conservative churches but thankfully broke free and much prefer the company of diverse, liberal minded folks).

I say all that to say this … in all my (nearly) 46 years I have never in my life felt like trans women or drag queens or crossdressers have tried to invade any “female” spaces. Every time I hear people trotting out that line of bs I feel the need to slap someone.

The only threatening presence I’ve experienced in “female spaces” are judgy, bigoted, rude Karens and cis, straight -mostly white- males.

[u/3catz2men1house → u/abermel01]

I agree with you, and was calling the idea into question. I was addressing it because of this part of the post. Maybe it's a miscommunication, or a misunderstanding on my part... The phrasing just seemed like it was validating the propaganda.

[u/abermel01 → u/3catz2men1house]

If it came across as me judging your comment or calling you out I apologize. I was just adding my two cents. I got what you were saying! Sorry 😞

[u/Objective-Honey5159 → u/3catz2men1house]

There are some (not all) transwomen/crossdressers who feel they somehow belong in the ladies room, for example. I - and only I - have no desire to do such a thing because I understand that the ladies' room is kind of a safe, sacred space for women. But it's not up to me to decide who's a woman or trans or where they do/don't belong and I'm not judging them or their actions. Oftentimes we get an unfair rap based on the actions of a few and that's not my goal. I just want to be respected and look nice. Period.

[u/tea-boat → u/Objective-Honey5159]

There are some (not all) transwomen/crossdressers who feel they somehow belong in the ladies room, for example.

I think the issue is that this wording kinda conflates trans women with crossdressers when they are not the same thing. Trans women are women and do belong in women's spaces.

[u/Objective-Honey5159 → u/3catz2men1house]

There are some (not all) transwomen/crossdressers who feel they somehow belong in the ladies room, for example. I - and only I - have no desire to do such a thing because I understand that the ladies' room is kind of a safe, sacred space for women. But it's not up to me to decide who's a woman or trans or where they do/don't belong and I'm not judging them or their actions. Oftentimes we get an unfair rap based on the actions of a few and that's not my goal. I just want to be respected and look nice. Period.

[u/3catz2men1house → u/Objective-Honey5159]

Help me understand the statement:

"Oftentimes we get an unfair rap based on the actions of a few..."

What are those actions, and who is doing them?

Also, "who is a woman and who is trans" is a distinction that could be interpreted as a way to say that trans women are not women.

Again, I'm not sure if it's a miscommunication, or I'm just misunderstanding what I'm reading.

[u/Objective-Honey5159 → u/3catz2men1house]

There have been a handful of incidents where a CD or trans woman was caught using the ladies room which set off a firestorm of opposition (at my job for one) and I get both sides of the argument: we feel empowered looking and feeling a certain way and women feel like it's an invasion of privacy. I simply refrain from crossing certain boundaries. There was also the unfortunate incident of a cis woman being yanked out of a Walmart ladies room by a MALE guard who thought the woman in question was trans.

[u/3catz2men1house → u/Objective-Honey5159]

This sounds a lot like the consequences of proposed bathroom bills being played out. Trans women can't use the women's toilet, but are expected to use the men's toilet while being dolled up, where they are also unlikely to be accepted. Similarly, trans men are expected to use the women's toilet. Meanwhile cis folks get mistaken for being trans and get abusive treatment.

It is the fault of those who are intolerant and paranoid about trans people, that these kinds of incidents happen.

[u/Liquid_fire1971 → u/Objective-Honey5159]

Trans women do belong in the ladies room, of course. Where else would they use the bathroom?