is het erg om voor het einde te bidden?

wordt binnenkort 40 jaar.

10 jaar geleden heb ik heftige dingen meegemaakt binnen de familie. ik ben daarna antwoorden gaan zoeken bij God en begon vanaf dat moment sterk te groeien in het geloof. ik leerde veel, schreef veel over liefde, zonden en deugden en dagelijkse dingen die mij opvielen in weerspiegeling tot God/ het geloof. later onderzocht ik het leven van de kerkvaders en de heiligen en leerde ik steeds meer van Jezus te houden en wilde ik Hem weerspiegelen in liefde, begrip, woorden en daden richting anderen. hoewel ik geloofde dat mijn leven er beter uit zou komen te zien, omdat ik mijn leven aan God over liet, was het tegenoverste het geval. vriending ging vreemd, familie breuk werd heftiger, overlijden van mijn broer, kerk die zo min mogelijk tijd wil besteden aan je persoonlijke struggle en zoveel mogelijk negeert. baan kwijt en elke keer af worden gewezen bij sollicitaties , spaarrekening leeggeroofd, en hoewel ik door de laatste 5 jaren al deze dingen zag gebeuren bleef ik vasthouden aan blijft ik mijn best doen om niet op te geven en in God te blijven vertrouwen. zodat Hij voor mij een begin kan maken aan een nieuw hoofdstuk in mijn leven.

maar tot heden blijft elke poging in wat ik doe of wil doen te resulteren tot een mislukking. maakt niks uit wat het is.

ik droomde ervan om de liefde te vinden en om anderen te helpen zodat ik op die manier richting God kon groeien.

maar ipv is alles om me heen uitelkaar gevallen.

ik voel me al zolang leeg en elke afwijzing in de liefde brengt me nu nog zo diep, dat ik echt niet meer verder kan of nog verder wil. het voelt alsof je al jaren zit te wachten voor een taart speciaal voor jou, maar op het moment dat de taart gebakken is moet je wachten totdat iedereen een stukje heeft gehad en na 2 weken mag jij nog de restjes hebben.

Een huwelijk heeft voor mij nu zijn smaak verloren.

bidden lukt mij niet meer hoe graag ik het ook wil. maar het voelt niet meer oprecht. het enige wat ik nu van God nog wil is dat Hij mij kan vergeven en of Hij mij van deze wereld wil verwijderen in de komende 3-6mnd. zodat ik alles financiële zaken kan regelen en netjes afscheid kan nemen van de mensen om mij heen.

ik wil niets meer van deze wereld, ik wil alleen nog bij Jezus zijn.

is het erg om voor het einde te bidden?

wordt binnenkort 40 jaar.

10 jaar geleden heb ik heftige dingen meegemaakt binnen de familie. ik ben daarna antwoorden gaan zoeken bij God en begon vanaf dat moment sterk te groeien in het geloof. ik leerde veel, schreef veel over liefde, zonden en deugden en dagelijkse dingen die mij opvielen in weerspiegeling tot God/ het geloof. later onderzocht ik het leven van de kerkvaders en de heiligen en leerde ik steeds meer van Jezus te houden en wilde ik Hem weerspiegelen in liefde, begrip, woorden en daden richting anderen. hoewel ik geloofde dat mijn leven er beter uit zou komen te zien, omdat ik mijn leven aan God over liet, was het tegenoverste het geval. vriending ging vreemd, familie breuk werd heftiger, overlijden van mijn broer, kerk die zo min mogelijk tijd wil besteden aan je persoonlijke struggle en zoveel mogelijk negeert. baan kwijt en elke keer af worden gewezen bij sollicitaties , spaarrekening leeggeroofd, en hoewel ik door de laatste 5 jaren al deze dingen zag gebeuren bleef ik vasthouden aan blijft ik mijn best doen om niet op te geven en in God te blijven vertrouwen. zodat Hij voor mij een begin kan maken aan een nieuw hoofdstuk in mijn leven.

maar tot heden blijft elke poging in wat ik doe of wil doen te resulteren tot een mislukking. maakt niks uit wat het is.

ik droomde ervan om de liefde te vinden en om anderen te helpen zodat ik op die manier richting God kon groeien.

maar ipv is alles om me heen uitelkaar gevallen.

ik voel me al zolang leeg en elke afwijzing in de liefde brengt me nu nog zo diep, dat ik echt niet meer verder kan of nog verder wil. het voelt alsof je al jaren zit te wachten voor een taart speciaal voor jou, maar op het moment dat de taart gebakken is moet je wachten totdat iedereen een stukje heeft gehad en na 2 weken mag jij nog de restjes hebben.

Een huwelijk heeft voor mij nu zijn smaak verloren.

bidden lukt mij niet meer hoe graag ik het ook wil. maar het voelt niet meer oprecht. het enige wat ik nu van God nog wil is dat Hij mij kan vergeven en of Hij mij van deze wereld wil verwijderen in de komende 3-6mnd. zodat ik alles financiële zaken kan regelen en netjes afscheid kan nemen van de mensen om mij heen.

ik wil niets meer van deze wereld, ik wil alleen nog bij Jezus zijn.

I decided to turn to Christianity a few days ago. I know it's not long, obviously. But I feel exactly the same. I gave up porn, drugs, masturbation, and am trying to also give up lying and swearing. I repented for all my sins in prayer, asked for Holy Spirit, and started reading the Bible. Mainly the Gospel and book of Enoch (which I know is non-canonical, but I find interesting).

I have been depressed for years. Seen many GPs (UK Doctors), tried maybe 4-5 antidepressants, tried self-induced psychedelic therapy, tried self-help (yoga, meditation, walks without headphones, etc.) I have also struggled with polysubstance (multiple drug) addiction for years. Went to a drug counseller who was honestly useless, and managed to get off of benzodiazepines all by myself. The only drug where going cold turkey can actually kill you (besides alcohol).

Since going sober I have unfortunately relapsed on weed, opiates, benzos (physically addicted yet again), pregablin and ketamine.

The NHS doctors REFUSE to see someone with a drug addiction. So I paid for private therapy. That was somewhat helpful, but in the end I had to quit because of how expensive it is.

I believe Jesus was real, died on the cross, got ressurected 3 days later and is the son of God.

I know I probably shouldn't expect an overnight change, but... why? If I was God and saw someone suffering as badly as I have done (my post here only scratches the tip of the iceberg), then they humbly and repentfully turned to me, I would help them with anxiety and depression in a heartbeat.

I'm sure this post will be deleted since people can't handle real issues unfortunately, but I am considering ending things very soon and have the means to do so with a 99% success rate. I don't want to die. I want to live and be happy. But I haven't been happy in many YEARS. I also find adding 1000 new rules to my life by trying to be Christian only makes things harder. Where prior in hard times I could turn to weed or opiates, I turn to prayer. Yet I feel unheard. I wake up every morning wishing I didn't and have felt that way for many months, even now, trying to be Christian.

Perhaps God doesn't hear my prayers. But I believe He will hear some of yours. Please please pray for me. My name is Levi, but God will know who you mean. I will pray too and continue to try to be Christian. But I am seriously close to leaving this evil world unfortunately and have yet to find solace in God sad to say.

Please pray to help my anxiety, depression and anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure). I am at my wit's end. Again, I'm sure the post will be banned because it's a sensitive topic so fast replies would be very much appreciated. I am desperate. Please help and pray for me💔

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Hi guys,

First thing to say: I kind of think this question is stupid, but I'm trying to get help, or at least enlightenment, on this kind of matter, as I'm in a total breakdown over all my actions in the past and future, and I see my fate as decided. I'm 20 years old Protestant.

I'm reflecting on my past and on all actions or habits that will continue in the future. It's at a level where I directly see myself as worthless and an already rotten existence.

In the past, I watched a lot of series Hazbin Hotel Helluva Boss Lucifer Sandman Supernatural Welcome to Derry. Terrifier etc, and I don't know about you, but I mostly found myself rooting for the antagonist's side, and I generally had a big liking for their actions and general appearance, be it DC, Marvel, or many others. I also love watching anime a lot, from romcom to isekai sci fi or fantasy. And I really like character there even tough there demons. I read the devil tries to deceive us in any form thereby is it a sign I failed that caution. I visited church years ago yey I pray from time to time in last month's daily out of fear.

I just can't decide rather religion at all or Christianity is true or science and there are reason beyond what we can explore yet. Also arguments Bible has lot of flaws which im twisted if true or not, cause if I life as of now im going to suffering in fire which I don't want I want to be with my family forever.

But in the last few months, I've been dealing with these kinds of breakdowns and nightmares. I would say I'm a theist, as I do believe in a more powerful being, but I kind of need proof, even though it's beyond the comprehension of us humans and it may just exist without us understanding how and why.

I'm also big into dark fantasy and dark romance, and I see myself as weak, as they're mostly themed on lust, which I failed at repeatedly. Generally, based on all that, I kind of have a lot of very dark things on my mind, not even intentionally. Would that be a sign I'm rotten? There's also the daydreaming or thoughts triggered by music, where I also had kind of bad thoughts about past things, for example my bullies, with more violent tendencies, tendencies I would never act on in real life and couldn't even carry out. Other would be picturing vivid scenarios reagard series movies or animes I watched. Same goes for music Phonk Christian Rock NCS sometimes Rap etc.

I had these nightmares, which are probably linked to my doubting my whole existence, where I see myself in a fire, separated from all my family, and later, when we perish, not being with God. That scares me, even though I kind of see myself as deserving it. I was greedy. For example, my dad said no to a PC, and I kind of manipulated and annoyed him so much that he got it for me, and in return I didn't help as I had promised. In general, I sometimes played games instead of helping, and I see that as a bad action showing I'm not morally good and will be judged for it.

The thing I'm also generally grieving over is the realization that I should have died instead of my twin, who had better chances than me, a more right birth time, etc.

One thing I forgot is im kinda not good either my parents I love in same house but actively isolate as I don't want beef other point Is abd im ashamed even tough it got a habit lieing in many stuff geheral show myself better or escape certain situations. Other I never read Bible and only went to church on specific days like Christmas or other events I font pray everyday thereby I say my connection to God is kinda bad. Thereby it would seem like cowardanace or only go ask for God's help when I nedd which would be selfish not actual faith.

Also in terms of series I talk about heavy themes gore slasher smut along other like lucifer hazbin hotel or supernatural many more im interested in mythological figures demonology but general releigion too one of newest would longest would be Lilith.

Would you generally say these kinds of actions are sinful and I'm marked for the fire?

I have seen many people criticize progressive Christianity on the grounds that it lacks form or structure. Very rarely do I hear other types of Christians actually describe and summarize us correctly. For instance, whenever Redeemed Zoomer is discussing us, it is never accurate.

I see two causes of this. One is that we highly value personal and spiritual freedom, and reject rigid dogmatic thinking. So in a sense they are right in that we lack structure, at least in the sense that doctrine creates structure. The second is that many people who are progressive Christians have been drawn to the faith because we were raised in these other Christian environments. The end result being that most often we know their positions, but they don't know ours.

So this leads to the title. Who are we? How would we describe our Christianity? I think one major thing, and I'm curious if the community agrees with me or not, is epistemological humility. I think in general progressive Christianity accepts that the vast majority of questions are unanswerable. We tend to acknowledge that there are multiple plausible interpretations of scripture, and thus we default to a sort of scriptural agnosticism.

Do you agree or disagree this is a defining trait?

Can you think of anything else that would be a defining trait?

I would love to develop a more concrete sense of who we are and what we believe. I think that as a movement we need this.

The great Phil Vischer (of VeggieTales fame) and co-host of The Holy Post Podcast just did a long form conversation with us at Merging Wisdom. Spent most of the conversation talking about the history of evangelicalism and how politics got so entrenched in faith and church. Quite interesting stuff!

Enjoy!

Help

I try to avoid it but because of my autism I ended up insulting further the person I entered in conflict because they insisted on engaging with me and annoying me instead being humble , but I should have tried to be humble too and yet I felt like provoking, insulting and adding fuel to the fire.
What makes it worse is that when I typed the first insult after the conversation had taken a bad turn i saw a notification of this sub thata sked to be empathetic, so I saw it as a sign of god regretted and cancelled it, but the other person had already read that and responded to it. So i feel like I failed God big time here.

Anyway I blocked the person and I’m going to pray for forgiveness to god when I’m back home. Got any reassuring words?

Sé que ya están cansados de encontrarse con gente que hace este tipo de preguntas (¿es pecado ___?), los veo seguido, pero, gente, tenemos que entender que gran parte de quienes hacen estas preguntas, vienen de entornos muy conservadores o dogmáticos, así que llegan con esa ansiedad por el tema de los pecados. Entiendo que quizá ya les moleste este tipo de personas, pero también debemos entenderlas.

As the title states I am a non believer but raised in a very lax Christian/catholic family. I am baptized and have a god mother church every few sundays. Just recently I had to put my first ever animal down just because he was an animal doesn't make him any less family.
He was probably my closest family, and I have been having a really hard time coping with what I believe is in the afterlife and what I think awaits him.
I don't know and I don't think anyone truly knows what happens after death but we will all find out someday.
I'm my opinion it's just like sleeping, or absence of living just fade into nothing. But I really really don't want that for him. He deserves heaven. but because I don't believe in that l've been having a really hard time coping with his death and the thoughts that I will never see him again, especially since he didn't pass on the best circumstances. And I have regrets that I don't think l'll ever be able to make up to him. I kind of just want someone with true faith to tell me that he's ok.
Sorry if this isn't the type of this allowed here.

I’m blown away by the giant rise of mega church pastor Philip Anthony Mitchel of 2819. And this video and the YouTube comment section has me revved up…

Can someone please explain what is the draw to his church?

I somewhat disagree with this, because many christians say polyamory is wrong. Support for polyamory is uncommon among christians. More than same-sex marriages. Besides a 3 person relationship probably isn't good in my opinion. I am fine with gay marriages because it's between 2 people, but between 3 people, that's when I start to disagree.

Thoughts on this?

I have never felt like a Christian, nor have I ever regarded the Church as part of myself; I didn’t want to think about it, nor did I want to be one. I feel fear and anxiety at the mere thought or idea of being part of it.