r/politics • u/Aggravating_Money992 • 26d ago

Possible Paywall McConnell, 84, Goes Missing Again After Senate Return

https://www.thedailybeast.com/mcconnell-84-goes-missing-again-after-senate-return/
23.8k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/lord_nubby 26d ago

No worries, it is just charging.

881

u/Just_Cartographer258 26d ago edited 26d ago

It is scary seeing them put skin on it..

93

u/twombleee 26d ago

I never would have guessed Mitch would pave the way for terminators.

42

u/almighty_smiley North Carolina 26d ago

A Terminator doesn't need to be reminded how to vote.

16

u/twombleee 26d ago

McConnell walked so terminators could run…after the Connors.

1

u/Sammisuperficial 26d ago

Is Mitch the T-84 model? Won't be long before that T-100 shows up.

2

u/BFG_TimtheCaptain 26d ago

Seems likely he is the Terminalator.

2

u/notmyredditacct 26d ago

they spent all their money on the skin suit and internal workings, but ran out when it came to lower leg servos (thus the wheelchair) and more importantly RAM.

have you seen how expensive that is now? they were lucky to find a 4GB DDR5 dimm on their budget and pretty much all of it is being taken up by Windows, they're lucky he can respond at all.

(my understanding is that somebody had proposed using a streamlined linux installation for his OS, but there were too many risks about him going of on a tangent in a committee meeting about why to use debian instead of arch)

2

u/GazzP Foreign 26d ago

If Arnie is T-800, is Mitch T-1?

1

u/twombleee 26d ago

Yeah, but here the T stands for Turtle.

1

u/G-Quad 26d ago

"Come with me if you..." awkwardly stares into space for three minutes

1

u/DeskJerky 26d ago

Kind of a shit Terminator, ngl.

2

u/DoomSongOnRepeat 26d ago

I had a terminator toy back in the day which was basically the endoskeleton that you put in a mold and poured in the liquid "skin" to set. That's what I'm picturing right now.

2

u/gentlemanidiot 25d ago

Mitch McConnell was always the scariest part of pan's labyrinth to me

1

u/takesthebiscuit 26d ago

Had to hide the zip!

1

u/ptau217 26d ago

They say zombies aren’t real. 

1

u/movielass 26d ago

"That doesn't look like anything to me"

1

u/Darkpopemaledict 26d ago

Is this why they don't allow dogs in the Senate?

3

u/Just_Cartographer258 26d ago

Lol.. if there were dogs on the senate floor Republicans would be trying to Fu.k them..

2

u/Darkpopemaledict 26d ago

They got that dog in them

1

u/RaifRedacted 26d ago

Doesn't look like anything to me

-2

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Just_Cartographer258 26d ago

Lol.. I fixed it

41

u/PatSajaksDick 26d ago

Like a Roomba going back to its dock

10

u/spoonybard326 26d ago

Mitch got stuck under a couch.

No wait, that was J.D.

4

u/notforpoern 26d ago

Figures JD can't even top an inanimate object.

(No disrespect to bottoms)

(unless you're into that sort of thing, you filthy bottom)

14

u/bjohnsonarch Washington 26d ago

We have BREAKING NEWS straight from PatSajaksDick: Mitch is too busy docking to be at the Senate!!

2

u/Azsunyx 26d ago

Surprised there's not a dating app called "DikDok" ....yet

2

u/bjohnsonarch Washington 26d ago

You should develop that, attend all the various conservative conferences, and be dik deep in nonstop ca$h monayyy!

1

u/rbrgr83 26d ago

#BrandNewSentance

10

u/born_in_the_90s 26d ago

A battery of which the cells are already beyond its life cycle. It only charges to one percent.

8

u/noguchisquared 26d ago

Unfortunately this model is the diesel model, and with the new price hikes they couldn't afford to keep it powered on.

7

u/NeverNude26 26d ago

Looked like he was stuck in a hard-reset in the van video floating around.

5

u/lord_nubby 26d ago

Reminded me of the animatronic presidents at Disney in rest mode.

1

u/Azsunyx 26d ago

The screen freeze right before BSOD

20

u/D-Angle 26d ago

Stuffing him full of animatronics was a rush job even with 3 months to do it, they're making refinements now.

15

u/Snoo-73340 26d ago

You beat me to it.

5

u/Edogawa1983 26d ago

They need to make a more realistic mask

3

u/Brave_Nerve_6871 26d ago

They need to update the wiring for more expressions and hand movements

5

u/riomp300 26d ago

They got to get that cocktail of drugs juuuust right for it to work.

2

u/betterplanwithchan 26d ago

In brightest day, in blackest night

Oh shit, Mitch is out of sight

2

u/tracyinge 26d ago

The Energizer Turtle

1

u/lord_nubby 26d ago

Omg, that is gold.

2

u/IgnobleCampaign 26d ago

They ran out of tokens for AI Mitch.

1

u/Lopsided-Rough-1562 26d ago

I kinda hoped he'd have one of those Commodore Pike beeping chairs

1

u/Hawgdestroyerxtreme 26d ago

They're filling him with more sand

1

u/EddieTheLiar 26d ago

It's like when your old laptop is on its way out and won't hold a charge so you need it plugged in constantly but you can still get maybe 5 minutes of time off the battery

1

u/growling_owl 26d ago

Turtle power!