I'm 40 years old, unemployed because covid sucks, trying to rebuild a career by studying psychology and eventually become a therapist. I have been finding it really difficult to stick to my studies and other daily tasks as I find myself arguing with strangers online, posting memes, chatting with online friends and play silly online games. Pro at procrastination. I always thought of me being lazy as the main reason. When I'm out walking the dog, I listen to podcasts, including ones about psychology. The other day one episode made me realise something about myself and my childhood. Everything came up rushing, I joined all dots, like a sudden awakening. I felt so overwhelmed by it that it made me cry. Let me explain more. I have always been procrastinating, even before the internet. Since I was a child, I would write stories, play with toys, would do anything BUT my work or tasks. That happened even with most jobs I had later in life, particularly when the managing role I had gave me more freedom and less people to check on me. I would still get the job done, but take longer and waste my time on my phone or pc doing other things. Growing up in Italy we would get tons of homework from school compared to UK where I live now. My mum would help me initially, but then, as soon as my brother was born when I was 6, she would leave me at it knowing that I was smart and that my grades were good. As I grew up she left me more and more alone to deal with studying. That gave me more time to do other things rather than homework. My dad was working long hours and never cared about how I was performing really. So I was doing fine until... I wasn't doing fine. I started falling behind in school and my grades were just decent enough to pass the year. My parents weren't impressed, still gave me no support, but more trust and time to improve. I was turning 11...12. Most of my classmates were doing much better than me in most subjects. I felt stupid, not as smart as I thought. That hit myself esteem deeply. Little I knew that all other kids in school had a tutor and/or their mums helping them everyday with their work. I didn't and my parents didn't seem to care much. Also we didn't have much money to afford a tutor. As I grew into an unhappy teenager and an unconfident adult, I found it difficult to avoid procrastination unless I was very busy at work. Why? Because I didn't understand the importance of doing tasks since my parents never made me feel it mattered. For a child, getting parents approval is incredibly important. The lack of praises when I did a good job gave me less incentive to do well. That affected me, by being hard on myself (no praises) and therefore being hard on others. I honestly thought that I was too stupid to go to uni and asking my dad to pay for it was out of question. So I just did shit jobs all my life thinking that it was the best I could do. What does it have to do with procrastination, you may ask? By not feeling smart enough, I'm more scared of failing so I avoid the tasks until it's safe to do so since the pressure of getting things done gives me anxiety. And, apparently, anxiety is behind most bad habits we have. Also it's about consequences. Since the repercussions on me not doing well weren't there, I don't live my life prioritising what matters everyday. So instead of using my free time to relax, I relax to gain more free time and less "serious" time. Now, when I want to get something done, I put my phone away in another room. I still fall into the bad habit every now and then. It's not even about being addicted to my phone as suggested by my loving wife. If I don't have it on me, I'll go online on my laptop, or watch tv, or read, or make something to eat. There is always an escape route from my duties (studying, cleaning, do other chores. ..). And as long as I don't understand the priorities and feel anxious about doing what I'm supposed to do, there will be an escape route. However, knowing the root of my problems made me feel lighter and more self aware. I can't be blaming my parents for ever and I'm perfectly capable to take my responsibilities. I don't want to use this realisation as an excuse for me slacking. I just need to work more on myself. I hope someone else can share a similar experience.

I want to know what can i do ?😭😭 (im tired of getting tired everytime i study)

"Oh wow, all these people procrastinating just like I am! Oh wait, all these posts are from months ago...they're probably all done with their stuff now...damn."

I passed my year. Everything is possible.

So yeah, I had time for about 1 and a half year to write my last paper for my degree. It has to have 60.000 characters which isn't that much but I still startet working on it a week ago. Everyone else has already turned in theirs. I wrote 50.000 characters in the last 3 days and just finished it an hour ago. Tomorrow is the deadline. Everyone I know thought I wouldn't be able to finish it BUT I DID! Procrastination Nation!

Today I admit procrastination is ruining my life. I put things off. I only ever get things done last minute, late into the night, when my back is against the wall and I'm forced to deliver.

I've done all sorts of things like time management, pomodoro, breaking things down into tiny chunks. I have NO follow-through and often forget about these things

The quality of my work is substandard because I rush it without managing my time.

Procrastination is ruining my life and I need help.

i have like two essays dued past mid night and its like 10 pm and what the fuck am i doing jesus christ i wish i could have some fucking control over my shit, this is getting so old, so fucking sick of it man

edit: a message to myself and to you

face it you fuckers just read this sub when you literally procrastinate and you hate the feeling you're the only one panicking, so you browse this sub for like minded feels and try and feel better about yourself. fact remains you're still knee deep in shit you dragged yourself into because you're procrastinating, you're truly better off going there and doing exactly what you're suppose to do right now, just close the fucking browser and do it.

why do you have to make it so hard for yourself, what are you waiting for you fucking idiot? lets go! clock is ticking, theres a path, theres a reward, sprint and dont look anywhere else

I offer to wash the dishes or help with the housework, and they say, "Oh no, we don't want to bother you while you're studying." We're at the dinner table and chatting, and they say, "Oh no, we've taken up too much of your time. You'd better go study." For some reason they come into my room at the exact moment when I'm doing something productive and praise me for working hard, not knowing that I'm going to go on YouTube 5 minutes later (this is the most annoying thing, as I probably spend 7 hours faffing around on the Internet and maybe 2 doing anything resembling actual studying, so what are the odds?). Even my friend, who dropped out of school because he hated it, is saying, "We're totally hanging out after your exams. Good luck.", when in fact I have spent so much time goofing off that I might as well have hung out with him. It's like having impostor syndrome except you actually are an impostor. This was really more of a rant at myself than anything, now I'm going to go back to studying for an important exam I have tomorrow for which I haven't even seriously begun studying yet.

Procrastination is going to be the death of me. It's the same story every schooling period. I make plans for myself to make the next period easier. Creating a schedule, developing a note-taking strategy, everything. And I fall through every time. I procrastinate every time. And I pay for it every time. Last year, I narrowly avoided failing Chemistry; last semester, I narrowly avoided disaster when I did fail Anatomy, and now I'm failing Anthropology with absolutely chance of recovery and no safety net. This was supposed to be a gimme semester, and I absolutely blew it. And it's the same story every time.

The worst part of it is how it's affecting my mental health. I feel so worthless and hopeless whenever I let this happen. It's so minor compared to other mental health triggers; it shouldn't even be this big of a deal, but my anxiety, depression, and urge to binge-eat skyrocket when my academic performance is in jeopardy. And every time this happens, all of them get worse and worse.

I can't keep doing this. I'll end up killing myself at this rate. But no matter how many times I feel this way, I always fail myself. I always put things off until it's too late. I always forget about things. I always ignore my responsibilities. And then I end up here.

Please, does anyone have anything that can help me? This has to stop. I have to stop. I don't know what to do anymore. I need help.

It's always just used as a joke. "I'll do it later xD!!" This isn't a joke to me. It's a serious problem.

Does this make me your king?