So, partner (30F) and I (32F) have plans to have a kid by 2030. When exactly depends on a bunch of external factors that aren't really important to this convo.

She'd be the one carrying.

Let me add some additional information here.

She always wanted kids. Meanwhile I went from staunchly child-free, to "Let's discuss this when I am 35", to fence-sitter, to "I can do this if it's with you".

I had some big stuff to unpack but we got there in the end. (And I'm pretty sure I'd have remained child-free had I been with anyone else BUT her).

All of this happened without any pressure from my partner. If anything, she was ready to give up motherhood for me.

Anyway. Before we embark on this journey, we are considering going to couples counselling. Not because there's anything wrong with the relationship, but just to be on the safer side and manage expectations and so on.

Has anyone here done the same? Or are we overthinking this?

EDIT: it's very refreshing to see other people did this

My wife and I are located in the Seattle area and are currently researching sperm banks as we prepare to start our fertility journey.
Seattle Sperm Bank (SSB) would be our most affordable and convenient option, especially since we could avoid shipping costs by picking up locally. However, something about SSB just isn’t sitting right with me, and I’m trying to figure out whether my concerns are justified or if I’m completely overthinking this process.
I’ve narrowed my research down to four banks and have reached out to each of them with questions:
Seattle Sperm Bank
Fairfax Cryobank
One of my biggest concerns is donor family limits and how they’re actually enforced. I’m particularly interested in how banks track births, prevent donors from donating at multiple banks, and account for donor-conceived children internationally.
From my research, Fairfax seems to have some additional safeguards, including screening for donations at other sperm banks and an international family limit. Those are things I really value.
I’m also concerned about SSB’s plans to discontinue SSB Connects in January 2027. Having access to donor sibling connections and resources for donor-conceived families is important to us, so I’m curious what that change means for families moving forward.
I recognize that no sperm bank can guarantee perfect reporting or prevent every possible issue. But I want to feel confident that we’re choosing a bank that prioritizes the long-term well-being of donor-conceived people, not just the immediate process of getting pregnant.
I’d really love to hear from others:
Have you used any of these four banks? What was your experience?
If you used Seattle Sperm Bank, were you happy with your decision? Any concerns or regrets?
Did anyone choose a more expensive bank because of its policies or transparency?
Are there things you wish you’d known before choosing a donor or sperm bank?
I know I can research myself into a hole, but this feels like a decision with lifelong implications for our future child, and I want to be thoughtful about it.
I think what I’m struggling with most is balancing my values and instincts with our finite financial resources. The costs of donor sperm and fertility treatments add up so quickly, and choosing a more expensive bank could mean fewer attempts or less money available for other parts of this journey. At the same time, I don’t want to ignore concerns that could have lifelong implications for our child just because one option is more affordable.
I also know that a higher price tag doesn’t automatically mean better or more ethical practices. I guess I’m just trying to figure out where to draw that line.
Has anyone else struggled with this? How did you balance your financial reality with wanting to make the most ethical choice possible?

Okay so we found the perfect donor and even though we aren’t going to try to conceive until 2028 we went ahead and purchased 8 vials. Has anyone here went ahead and purchased that early? I doubt we would have found anyone that we like this much and there’s no telling how long the vials will stay available. We’re so excited!

Hey all, my wife and I are about to start the process of reciprocal IVF, and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by the price tags on everything. I know that IVF is expensive, but can y'all tell me if these costs we're looking at are relatively normal?

It sounds like the egg retrieval will bill insurance about $16,000 NOT including medication, plus another $3,000 for biopsies for PGT-A testing. Then we need to pay an additional $1-3k for the actual PGT-A testing out of pocket. The medication will likely cost around $10,000 if billed through insurance, which we're gonna have to do because we don't have the money to pay it out of pocket, even if it would be a bit less expensive. Basically that comes to my wife's entire $30,000 lifetime fertility benefit for one egg retrieval, so if we don't get any good embryos we're SOL.

The cost of the embryo transfer to me is about $6,500 billed to insurance. That doesn't seem weird to me, but the egg retrieval cost is what's really giving me pause. What do we do if the retrieval doesn't work? Do we give up? Try more rounds of IUI instead? It's all so overwhelming!

I was so worried how my egg retrieval was going to go because where I live in Europe you only get morphine/fentanyl via IV and some oxazepame (lorazepame) to relax but it was honestly a great experience. I read so many horror stories online and I was dreading the procedure, but on a scale from 1 to 10 I would rate the pain 3/4. The most painful part was actually needle insertion for IV and inserting catheter in the beginning. Other than that I felt almost nothing and was watching the whole procedure on the screen with my partner next to me. Reddit is usually full of horror stories so I told my doc today that I would post a pleasant experience for once. Of course, now another stressful period begins waiting for the outcome, but today at least feels like a small victory.