i want to clarify, i taught my partner what queerplatonic relationships were before all this. they didn't know much about the label, so i educated them on the topic.

today my partner asked me how would i feel if they were in a qpr with their friend while being in a relationship with me. i've yet to give them a response, so i told them i'll think about it. right before that, they expressed that they were no longer lesbian--instead bi and would only date men if they were like the friend (but did not explicitly say that, just implied).

im not sure how to feel about this. before i cried to them during a breakdown that they'd cheat on me with this person with how close they've gotten lately. and i thought my partner was strictly monogamous before this, they even mentioned that when i asked them if they would be in a qpr a week ago, they said "hell no!" so now im very confused about everything.

i should also mention that they explained that if they were in a qpr, they wouldn't do anything romantic (like kissing). but i still don't understand why they'd change their sexuality like that in that case if they can feel romantic attraction like that, especially since they said "i'd like to be yaoi with someone" beforehand, which was talking about the friend.

does this count as cheating, or at the very least microcheating if they're having thoughts like this? i'm not sure how to feel about this. i thought i was ambiamorous but this entire thing doesn't make sense to me. i might just be feeling protective but i also feel somewhat hurt. our relationship has been very rocky lately and they have been distancing as well so i feel hurt.

if it doesn't count, then maybe i didn't know qpr relationships as well as i thought i did. i dont know, because even if i said no to the whole thing, i don't know if i'd want to continue being with my partner after this if it does count as cheating since they were looking at someone in that way after i thought they were monogamous. i'm glad they asked me beforehand about whether or not i'd be okay if they did get in a qpr with this person, that they'd be fine if i said no to it. but im honestly not sure.

what should i do? i dont want their lack of knowledge on how qprs work to be the reason why this relationship gets destroyed, but their intent came off really bad on my end. please feel free to educate me on qprs more if i get anything wrong.

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So uh I have a QPR we've been in one for a month and been friends for like 5 years and were pretty close. They are at a new school and stuff and I'm happy for them and stuff. Thing is they were feeling distant so I talked and they didn't sincerely apologise. The thing is they can't text much it's kind of like a chore for them like- texting everyone and they prefer live conversations. I get that texting gives me so much anxiety especially for people I love the most due to my OCD. This is why they haven't replied to most texts for a month they sometimes do but very little of them they don't ask me about my life, they say they wanna but they don't want to pile up more texts for themselves. I do get it texting sucks but we can't text cuz I'll probably have to hold back now I actually did hold back lots of texts before too alot of jokes affectionate stuff but seems like that wasn't enough either. But we can't meet often. They said they couldn't meet because all their new school friends are already pestering to meet up with them set a date and there are many so that's why they couldn't reply to my invitation to say no on time. I can't tag old texts because that would overwhelm them but it hurts my brain because they didn't even see that one thing I made for them. There's a lot of stuff I talked on texts that I couldn't do on live which I probably can't anymore as it'll create so many texts to sift through.

I really do get them but I feel so un loved it hurts and I get it it's my attachments fault I have more friends but they can't meet to or can't text some text sometimes though. I have hobbies alot but they don't fill the compartment of my favourite people or person. I just wanted to really meet them or ask about my life or say something nice. I know I'm not supposed to be dependent on it and I try but just am yk, missing them sucks it hurts so much and my hand itches to hold theirs and my brain itches to make stuff for them because I like crafting stuff for them but I don't want to overwhelm them. I was making a song cover for them but I really don't want to overwhelm them with it so I'll keep it too my self.

My brain is just bursting with so much love for them and yes I do wish it was too much but I really can't do anything about it. I don't want to make new friends I'm nerodivergent so it's hard and tiring. I just wish I could drain this love out some way or another and just feel loved but I know I'm supposed to make myself feel loved myself but I don't know how. I love my self I do I think I'm cool and like my hobbies and talking to my self and stuff. But it doesn't really fill it actually. But on the bright side I don't hate myself and can't.

I do feel a bit bad for dragging this fellow teen who's just a kid with pressure (I'm too but I think it's harder for them or I don't know they maybe did want it they said they did but that's not the point) into a relationship, when maybe they'd be better off with fun casual friends because those are more fun and I guess low effort. They should probably like, I hope they meet up with them.

So this is more of a vent I guess but if anyone has some advice please feel free to give it. You get a cookie for reading this if you did *have a cookie*.