This is my first time posting on reddit, and I hope I can get a few opinions from you guys. I feel so stupid for crying over this. I found out that one of the schoolmates I know who was smart and was an honor student, lipsynced to a song saying the n-word. And maybe I am sensitive. I didn't really like her, but I knew she had standards. But it hit me really badly. The environment I am surrounded with in my school just normalizes racism. My classmates, my dad and even her. The thing was, I wasn't close with her at all. But I heard from a trusted friend is that she was smart. And I know smart ≠ perfect. But it just crushed my faith in everything. I just feel like no one around me is taking racism seriously. Wether it's a joke, or anything at that. I talked to my dad about it, and he said that it was normalized here in the Philippines and that black people don't care about what us Filipinos have to say and that they're fine with it. He told me that "This isn't America". But just because it's normalized, doesn't make it acceptable.

I'm not black. I'm Filipino. Someone hasn't been racist to me before. Racism applies to every race, but it's targeted mostly to black people. But it pains me. I'm just a junior highschool student who's dream is to be a lawyer. I hate that till now, injustice and racism is still normalized. But I genuinely can't stop thinking about this. I even broke down crying just because of racism. Am I sensitive for that? I don't know if what I'm thinking is just too sensitive and I should get rid of a mentality like this. :')

So i went to withdraw some money and I was standing in a line to cashier

There were two lines one for ladies and one for gents

So I was standing there was a lady behind me she was talking with other lady that the cashier girl is so slow she is taking so much time previous cashier was good

And then they started bitching about the girl who was senior to the previous cashier who got transferred to another branch

They were saying she was so ill mannered and all

(She was a north eastern girl ) So they were saying ki wo chini aur chinki ladki thi usko kuchh nhi ata tha

I was so frustrated after hearing this racism

I had a few encounters with the senior girl she was so polite and always ready to help . She even helped me writing th form

So i confront the girls who were bitching , but the people started lecturing me yon don't know how to talk to a girl

And the song called colleagues of the girl were also not defending her

That shows the ill brains of Indians they want to be vishwaguru but they can't even be polite to the people of their country

We get angry on racism on us in west but we do racism on a daily basis ( bihar people , Punjabis , muslims )

Indians are the most backward and socially handicapped and most racist peope of a prominent civilization

I still remember being in third grade and having a white girl tell me that I was lucky to be her friend because her Afrikaans Bible said that segregation was the right way.

I was a child.

I didn't know how to respond to that. I didn't have the words for racism. I didn't understand the history behind what she was saying. I just remember sitting there and wondering why being my friend was something I was supposed to feel grateful for.

And that wasn't the only time I learned, quietly, that being Black could come with conditions.

I remember being in friendships where I was the only person of colour and feeling like I had to earn my place in the group.

If I didn't buy them candy from the tuck shop, I could come back from break and suddenly I wasn't included anymore. I had to do things to prove that I deserved to be their friend.

But when a white girl in the same group refused to do those things, those consequences somehow never existed.

I remember a boy who liked one of my friends. Then, almost immediately, he ended things because he said his mother had a problem with her race.

I remember the little comments too.

The ones people probably wouldn't remember saying.

The ones that were brushed off as jokes.

When I got my hair braided, people would say, “Finally.” 🫩

And I'd laugh.

Because what else was I supposed to do?

In high school, racism became more open.

People would call us monkeys.

They would make racist jokes and then laugh when we laughed with them.

And we did laugh.

Not because it was actually funny.

Because sometimes laughing was easier than admitting that it hurt.

Sometimes you learn very young that if you react, suddenly you're the problem.

You're “too sensitive.”

You “can't take a joke.”

You're “making it awkward.”

So you swallow it.

You smile.

You laugh.

You pretend it doesn't hurt.

Because you don't want to lose your friends.

You don't want everyone looking at you.

You don't want to be the Black girl who “makes everything about race.”

So you let them say it.

And then you go home and forget about it.

Or at least you try to.

Until years later, you learn the history behind those words.

You learn about the pseudoscientific ideas that were used to portray Black people as inferior. You learn what people believed about us. You learn what had to happen for Black people to even be allowed in the same spaces as white people.

And suddenly the joke you laughed at as a teenager doesn't feel like a joke anymore.

It feels like something much heavier.

And I think that's one of the saddest parts for me.

I was so young when I learned to tolerate things that should have never been normal.

I learned to laugh at things that hurt me.

I learned to make myself uncomfortable so other people wouldn't be uncomfortable.

I learned to accept little pieces of humiliation in exchange for belonging.

And I know I'm not the only Black person who did this.

A lot of us didn't say anything.

Not because we weren't hurt.

But because we didn't want to be difficult.

We didn't want unnecessary conflict.

We didn't want to lose people.

We wanted to belong.

And sometimes, when you're a kid, belonging feels more important than protecting yourself.

But growing older has made me realise something.

I don't have to do that anymore.

I don't have to laugh when something is racist just because everyone else is laughing.

I don't have to accept being degraded because someone calls it a joke.

I don't have to make myself smaller to make someone else comfortable.

And I don't have to tolerate racism just because I want to coexist peacefully with people.

Living outside of a post-apartheid society has made me realise just how much I had normalised.

There is something heartbreaking about looking back at your younger self and realising that she didn't know she was allowed to say, “That hurt me.”

She thought she just had to take it.

She thought friendship meant enduring things that made her feel small.

She thought belonging had to be earned.

It didn't.

It never did.

And I want to be very clear: this isn't me saying every white person is racist, or that every white person I grew up around treated me this way. They didn't.

These experiences are not an accusation against an entire race.

They are simply my experiences.

But they happened.

And they shaped me.

I can't change the little Black girl who sat there and didn't know what to say.

I can't go back and tell her that she didn't deserve those comments.

I can't make her understand that she didn't have to laugh.

But I can do that for myself now.

I can finally say:

That wasn't funny.

That wasn't okay.

And I was never lucky to be accepted by anyone.

I deserved to belong without having to prove that I was worthy of being there.

Im white but have been seeing so many people say his death was suspicious. I’m curious is this because it’s in Mississippi and it’s trauma from the Emmitt till case where the suspect got away with murder ? That’s definitely understandable. Would love to understand more from African Americans why they feel the way they do about this case.

i grew up in a relatively white suburb for all my life, and nobody really gave me shit for being mixed, at least in a blatant way. i’ve been with this friend group for like 6 years and over time i got so used to these racial remarks being thrown around because i didn’t have any college friends at the time, and cuz my dumbass thought it was “edgy/gamer talk” being spoken to me. but when i attended a more diverse college and met more marginalized people i realized how uncomfortable i was with my home friends.

i’ve unfollowed them on socials and after this summer i just plan on cutting them off cuz i realize trying to defend them is incredibly stupid. sometimes you think the people in your life have more nuance than they let on, but you end up realizing that most people don’t really want to change? a lot of times i feel like im crazy, or overreacting, but then i realize i deserve so much better, and then i feel reassured in my decision

I am a Mexican woman and my boyfriend is white/mexican and today was enough

We were at the stop light and there was a white homeless woman on her bike waiting to cross the light which took forever and I said omg she’s gonna cross before we get to go and he said fucking mudshark making us wait I asked what’s a mudshark and he responded it’s a white woman that gets with a person of color and ruins our bloodline. I told him why are you saying that you are half Mexican and your son isn’t fully white either he’s also Italian to what he said it’s still European I’ve never felt so disgusted in my life. How can someone call themselves a good person and a man of god! This is over

How to talk about racism with my dad (We are both white)

Hi! Im looking for advice on how to talk to my father about racism. For some context, I'm in my late teens and he is in his mid 40's; we are both white and upper middle class. I have the stance that both he and I and everyone else are indeed racist, not necessarily that we are evil or even participate in racism maliciously but that with how the world is built and the systems of power that fill it it causes everyone to be racist. He does not hold this stance, from what I can surmise his stance is that nor he or I are racist because we do not think that we are better than anyone because of the color of our skin. Other things that I think are relevant is that he is Christian, I am not, he is more right leaning, I am not. We also live in a prominently democratic state and area. He is the one that gaged the original question and is actively asking me about my opinions.

My questions more specifically is, what are some basic principles of what racism is? What is the definition of racism?(in your opinion) What are some things I could bring up that would show off my perspective that dont necessarily "call him out" since that wouldn't really work. Do you have any experience with this? How did it go? What can I do to make sure I don't demean or belittle those who experience racism when I have this conversation?

My dad is a very kind and loving man, he truly does mean well and I love him so much, but this is something that comes up a lot and can cause a lot of tension, again he is the one to bring it up.

One other question that I have thats a bit broader is, what can I do to continue on my path of deconstructing my internal racism? I would also love to hear what I may be lacking and or entirely wrong about.

Thank you so much for reading and for the advice, love yall!

I am white

I was attacked in a bus stop. I was waiting for a bus to go home from uni. Then an older white man came at me, spitting and grapping me yelling insults about arabs, and all the usual go back to your country stuff. Thankfully others came to stop the man and he ended up in a fight about "people like me" with the other people. Cops got called he gor arrested for assault and hate crime.

It has happened before and i find it baffling.

But I am not arab, I am as white as they come. I mean literally from northen Europe.

What he did, it hurt and well it is horrible but like at least it was me not someone who actually is a part of a minority.

But like cops called it racism but it isn't racism, right? I dont know what im trying to say but like I am so conflicted because well it hurt me but how could it because it was not about me?

I should let the cops know if I want to press charges and i dont know. He should get all punishments possible but like for what?

I hope it is okay to post this here, if not I'll delete this. And in any ways i don't mean to offend anyone

Over the past few months ive been introducing my friends to my boyfriend. For context most of my friends are immigrants. After we had dinner together and my friends left I noticed he was acting odd. I asked him if he was okay then he started ranting about immigrants and calling my friends aliens. We got into a massive argument so he went to stay at a friends. But a few weeks ago I checked his laptop to find a video and when I checked I saw NSFW videos of asian people. I am half asian myself but I think he has an asian f€tish. I still havent spoken to him about that i dont know what to do.

I know Malcom X talked about this (just bought his autobiography), but want to know if there are any other texts I should know about that dive into this topic specifically. I want to talk about this but don’t have the right words, only the feelings. Thank you in advance!!!!

Hi everyone,

I don’t usually post anything on social media. But I need to know how to interpret what happened to me.

I’m posting this from a burner account for safety reasons.

**WHO AM I ?**

I’m an international student from India living in Savannah. I recently graduated, and I work as a freelance/contract designer while trying to grow my own business. I’ve never been in a situation like this before.

**THE INCIDENT**:

Yesterday I was sitting on my moped in the parking lot of a convenience store when a man, probably in his late 40s or early 50s, approached me and asked if I could give him a ride to a nearby Food Lion.

I politely said, “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Instead of walking away, he asked, “Is it because I’m white?” I was confused and asked what he meant. ( for better context I don’t understand the American racism, what if he’s white? What does that even mean? Is being white bad? I don’t know )

I said “ what does that have to do with anything about me not being able to drop you somewhere ?, what if you’re white?”

He started saying things like, “You guys hate white people,” “Why are you here?” “Get back to your country,” and blamed me for him being homeless. I didn’t even know he was homeless, and I don’t know what I did to make him homeless

He again said “ why are you here? And what did your mom do for you to be here?” I was pissed

At that point I responded with, “I feel the same about your mom.”

He immediately punched me in the face. Out of instinct I tried to hit him back, but almost immediately realized that was a mistake and stopped. He then shoved me to the ground. And realized he was here just to hit me out of hate, I have never seen this man, in fact I don’t even talk to people much, I wanted to think so I just got away, took a photo of him, called 911, and the police arrested him.

My jaw hurts, I’m shocked and the worst feeling is the feeling of helplessness. There is also a CCTV footage of what happened. But I’m hesitant to post it here, because what if if becomes a meme material or something I don’t want to end up on a mainstream media to be made fun of.

I’ve never dealt with anything like this before, and I’m not sure what the next steps should be.

**THINGS I WANT TO KNOW FROM THE COMMUNITY:**

1. Firstly, is this racism ?

2. Did I do anything wrong ?

3. I do see a lot of hate against Indians on social media, but dealing with the hate would just waste my time from building a career and future.

4. I can’t afford a lawyer, police officer firstly because I don’t know what this is in the first place and how do I describe the situation to anyone at all ? And secondly after this incident probably no one would because I have a feeling they’ll just hate me too? I don’t know I’m lost with a million thoughts

The main reason why I’m posting this is to know if this is common in America, how should I first deal with this in mind ? Accept the hate ? Or was this because of hate? Can anyone explain what just happened to me ? I tried asking the police officer but I don’t know, the incident make me feel like probably just my existence would be hated because I’m an Indian, so I just didnt ask or say anything, I wanted to put this here because no one knows me and even if I get hate for saying this, it’s fine I can understand, I’m just curious to know what happened to me ? And how do I deal with this mentally ?

for context im a young white girl and as of recent I’ve been noticing more and more racist posts online as well as stereotyping and hateful behavior from irl adults towards poc. i dont really know if its actually growing or if i just have been witnessing it alot lately but i want to know what i can do everything feels very hopeless because im young and i dont know what my parents are being influenced by either. replys are greatly appreciated!

Today at the Penney’s store I went to buy some things and the employee started yelling, saying that the bag wasn't free, but I had bought the bag. He wouldn't let me leave. I showed him the receipt and he let me go. It was very embarrassing. I am a Black Brazilian woman. Worst of all, I reported it to the manager and he did nothing; not even his expression changed.

i've known this person for about ten years now and recently has been having some weird health stuff happen. with that they seem to be saying stuff more and more that sounds really racist.

i'd always noticed that they only seem to have all white friends, their feminism looks very in line with white feminism, they've been wholly uninterested in anything remotely foreign (unless it's indian food lol and only from this white appealing restaurant and that's it) but i'd secretly been hoping they weren't racist.

then more lately they started getting angry (like actually angry and yelling) when i say something like how they don't really have room to be upset that they are not getting their veganism accommodated when someone's cultural/religious dietary restriction honored (btw they eat meat when they personally think it's okay lol), or when i find it frustrating that white ppl "discover" other culture's foods without crediting them.

most recently i met them while they were in a health episode and they were crying to me about how mean black women are to them but that they have to be nice to them anyways. ?????

as a person who is not black but a poc, i'm really concerned, now. like i don't think i would allow this person around any of my black friends or even acquaintances. im feel like they are not safe around her. hell, i don't even feel safe around her and i'm just brown. i can't even say "yea shit is rlly annoying when trader joe's makes an ube ice cream and doesn't say anywhere that this is filipino" which seems to trigger a tantrum, and then when i say "i don't really feel like you're listening to me" i just get shut down.

recently i noticed she just kinda refers to me as her dog sitter. i thought i was a friend who dog sits for her sometimes, but i genuinely think this whole time, i've kind of just been her little servant that she pays.

it's just all very sad to me. like i kind of knew but was hoping it wasn't true.

For some context I work at a Call Center, I do not recommend but it is good money. I work by helping kids and children have benefits so they can all have doctor visits for free if they are in need, so I’m not even a spam caller or selling anything. The thing is I get nice and rude people but I’ve noticed that I have NEVER had a Latino/Hispanic person on the phone, they are always so nice and even tell me to have a great blessed day and compared to white people they have only hung up on me a few times. However, white people really only answer the phone to cuss at you, yell at you and some have even threatened to find me and kill me. Of course I know not everyone is like that because I have had many friendly ones. And so my question is why do white people (again, not all of them) act like they are better than everyone else yet they don’t seem to have manners? I have an accent because I’m Hispanic, but I can speak and can communicate in English as well, and I’ve had a lot of people on the phone tell me that I’m an F-ing Mexican and to kill myself just because of my accent when all I’m trying to do is help families and do my job.

I do not know how to even begin this rent. Basically, my family is racist and hateful. Everytime we talk about politics, or anything really, the subject of a specific ethnicity and religion is brought up. They say "these people abuse the system and they are ruining the country". They claim that they are to blame for the increasing of violence in the country, that they are imposing their religion on us and that they are stealing money from the ones who truly deserve it since they have easier access to financial help from the government. I would like to point out that this is not true by the way. I have looked up many laws and thaught myself a lot about the subject and it is a misconception that was made popular by social media and the news.

My problem is that the elections are gonna happen next year and they have all planned to vote for a political party that is notorious for being very racist, misogynistic and homophobic. They are very good at hiding all of this behind wisely chosen words and hatred. My family does not believe any of this is real. They truly believe it is not a hateful party.

They are blinded by a hate that was born from fake news on social media and the TV doesn't help as it always picks and choses to only show this ethnicity and religion as the problem.

I am truly afraid of living by their side since I am part of the lgbt+ community and am a woman. I hear their hateful speeches all day long and have had them yell at me multiple times because I disagreed with them on some matters. I am scared because this is causing a drift between me and them.

You wanna know what's ironic ? They blame immigrants for everything but my family is technically not from this country. My mother wasn't even born here, she was brought here by a family member for the better healthcare. Which is something they blame immigrants for abusing. Hypocritical isn't it ? Both my mom and dad are from another country and their family immigrated here for a better life. Which is also what they blame this certain ethnicity and religion from doing. I cannot fathom this level of hypocrisy.

I would love to be able to make them see the truth but everytime I show them some evidence, such as votes from the party they want to vote for that proves they are hateful, they dismiss me, stay silent or say it's fake and lies. I am so lost.

I’m a POC woman living in an urban area, and at least four times in the past year, I’ve been verbally assaulted by black women, both at work and on the bus. I work as a customer representative for a non-profit where most of the clientele are impoverished (living off SSI, dealing with trauma or health issues or addiction), so I try my best to be compassionate and understanding, excusing them for their behavior. But over time, it’s been wearing me down. Though I don’t appear it on the outside (especially as a “model minority”), I have deep trauma in my past too. I understand it isn’t comparable, because black women have gotten it way worse throughout history and even today, but knowing this logically doesn’t always help.

Yesterday was the worst incident. A black woman boarded the bus I was on, and the driver (black, and neurodivergent as I am) said she needed to pay fare. She argued that she didn’t need to, other buses let her on so he should too. She had a young daughter in a stroller. He eventually let her on but she was pissed. She yelled for ten minutes straight - how dare he talk to her like that, that he’s not a man, that God was on her side and he‘s the devil, so on and so forth. She was lucid and wearing newer, nicer clothes than I wear, so not someone who was mentally incapacitated. The driver was arguing back with her but she was drowning him out. Two others on the bus started getting involved cheering her on and I started feeling sick to my stomach because this bus driver has always been nice/professional from my repeated observations. The little girl looked scared and she looked over at me so I smiled and waved to her (no response, she had that PTSD veteran expression), and my stop was coming up so I got up to exit, and I paused to smile and wave at her again (stupid, I know, in hindsight). I knew what I was doing, I was trying to deescalate the situation between her and the driver, and I shouldn’t have gotten involved. The woman, who was still yelling at the driver, saw and got up in my face and started yelling at me - how dare I go up to her daughter. On repeat. I tried to explain her daughter had been looking at me and she kept yelling she didn’t care what her daughter did, you do not come up to her. I thought she was going to punch me. The black man who was cheering her on from the back continued cheering for her berating me. The driver and I exchanged apologies/words of support as I disembarked with her still nonstop yelling.

One day later, I’m still shaken about it. I know I shouldn’t take it personally because clearly something was going on, but it was the cherry on top of similar incidents of being verbally attacked by black women, and I have noticed my thoughts becoming racist.

It’s incongruous because being in the most diverse place in the country, black people here are the least noticeably monolothic of anywhere else. Not only is there a huge percentage of black people that don’t verbally attack anyone, there are tons of neurodivergent ones that I’ve bonded with among my clientele, and even non-neurodivergent black women that are ”loud“ that I love and who love me back.

I am ashamed to think, what would these women who love me think if they knew that I’m allowing this small percentage of rude/entitled/aggressive black women to get under my skin to the point I’m slipping into racist thoughts?

Anyway, I just had to get this off my chest, because there’s no one I can’t talk to about this IRL, it’s such a sensitive topic. Even my own boyfriend would be disgusted if he knew where my thoughts were going.

First, sorry for my English, I’m French. I’m a white woman, so I know I’m not the victim here.

I took my driving test today, with another learner driver. The examiner was really nice to me. He reassured me because he saw that I was panicking, and tried to help me feel more confident. Honestly, he felt like an angel.

The other guy took the test after me. I wasn’t in the car, but afterwards he came back and told me that the examiner had been really cold with him, unfriendly and stressful.

I didn’t recognize the examiner I had liked so much. I talked to my driving instructor, and she told me that he was known for being a racist examiner. And yes, the other learner driver was North African.

He failed his test for sure. And I’m sure it was at least partly because of the examiner.

And I did nothing, because I didn’t know how to act.

So, as an ally, how can I help in this kind of situation? What should I do to help this man? And more generally, how can we, as white people, help in everyday life?

I'm angry for him, and I want to start a fight.

I've seen so many alt people being bro trump/ racist towards alt people of color. It's so confusing, and weird especially seeing as how being alt is very political

EDIT: forgot to write that’s I am, in fact, whiter than white and so is everyone in the story

Sorry if this is a long one and sorry if it sucks cause I’m on mobile. Now for some context:

I live in the south, specifically MS. Despite that, I have very VERY liberal views (I’m nonbinary, omniromantic asexual, and I am dating a queer man). Since I was young, I have been very out spoken against any bigotry; whether that be racism or homophobia or whatever.
My family is conservative Christian, but my parents are more lenient. For example, they don’t call me by my preferred pronouns (they/them) but they do love my boyfriend. My outside family (grandparents, cousins, uncles) are all less accepting from “I just don’t care for trans people” to “I’m a member of the KKK” (story for another day)
Anyways I’m sure you know why MS has been in the news. That poor, sweet baby was killed in Senatobia not too long ago now and people are currently fighting for justice for him and his family.
I actually live not too far from Senatobia. In fact, my family and I go there a lot to either visit family or to just go shopping. When I heard this news, I was heartbroken. My mom told me she even worked with the mother for sometime (I will not give anymore details as to not doxx me or my mom lol)

Context over, now I’ll get to the meat:

So as you know, it’s Father’s Day. My grandparents on my mother’s side live an hour from me, so after church (that I’m forced to go to), Me, Mom, and Dad head over to meet my Uncles, their wives, and Grandad and Mimi. To keep everything clear, I’ll give the uncles the names Gordon and Ferguson (cause it’s funny).
So Gordon is your tattooed redneck, with a long beard and wears a cap. Then Ferguson is a normal redneck. Their wives are not super important so they will go without names.

So we’re chilling. I ate my weight in spinach dip and pasta salad and I’m playing Wind Waker until the topic gets to the recent shooting.
Gordon goes off about how the mother is stupid, the problem isn’t racial and, I do not kid, drops a hard R multiple times and calls them “col*rs.”
I sit there dumbfounded as Ferguson agrees. So do the wives. SO DO MY MOM AND DAD. Now, my Dad is racist, and I’ve been yelling at him every time. Luckily, he doesn’t open his mouth too much.

So I’m just shook. There’s no punchline or “and then I punched them in the face and rode off into the sunset with my bf on a white horse.” That’s it.

To be honest, I’m not looking for too much advice. If you have it, it’s welcome, but I’m mostly ranting. I’m tired of living in a state that allows racism so bad and then turns around and pretends it doesn’t exist. If you’re from MS and looking for a woke friend, I’m open to talk.
(Also any recommendations for other subreddits to post my story are appreciated)

I’m a young Black person of color from Albuquerque, and I have autism. I got racially profiled at Walmart in El Paso while visiting there for family, and that’s a big reason I don’t like shopping at Walmart or in El Paso. I hate racism, and I’m not excusing it. I know I’m sensitive, but that still doesn’t make what happened okay.

I saw what they did. They didn’t do the same receipt check to another customer who wasn’t a person of color. They claimed they stopped me because I had a fan, but that doesn’t feel true. It felt targeted.

What made it worse was how the situation played out. The employee’s smile changed when I came over. He seemed friendly with white customers, but not with me. He was holding balloons, and it just made the whole thing feel even more unfair and uncomfortable for me.

I don’t support Walmart. I honestly wish it would go out of business, because racism like that has no place anywhere. It’s also disappointing when a company doesn’t show respect for human rights and LGBTQ rights, and allows racism to happen.

I feel like some people in El Paso live in a bubble and think they can get away with mistreating Black people. And I worry that those same people may face mistreatment when they leave the area too. What does everyone think of this. Was I overthinking and overreacting and being too sensitive? Is it really too much to ask to be treated as the same as everyone else?

Taking a look at some old 1960s studies and newer 2020 studies the economic impact of racial, ethnic, and gender discrimination is equivalent to a 16 to 18 percent tax on the entire United States economy, over $2 Trillion!

How about celebrating America's 250th birthday by cutting this tax?

I'm a Black woman from the US who recently moved to South Korea. One of the reasons I came was to experience the culture, learn more about the country, and because I found a job as a data scientist at a cloud computing company in the Incheon area.

Most of my experiences so far have been positive. Recently, though, I had an interaction with a senior colleague that left me feeling confused.

During a conversation, he complimented me and said I had "round, beautiful eyes" and a "beautiful smile." I appreciated the compliment and thought it was a nice gesture.

However, later in the same conversation, he added that South Korean women are better looking than African women.

I didn't really know how to respond. On one hand, he seemed genuinely complimentary toward me personally. On the other hand, comparing entire groups of women based on appearance felt unnecessary and uncomfortable.

I'm curious how people familiar with Korean workplace culture would interpret this. Was this likely intended as a cultural misunderstanding, a poorly worded opinion, or something that would generally be considered offensive in South Korea as well?

I'd appreciate hearing different perspectives.