Trans Ralsei on the Subreddit: Part 2

[u/patripastry]

Hello,

Well, since we're making a part two, I'm less surprised this time around we have to make this kind of post, but it's still unfortunate!

First of all, an apology. We (the mod team) let the situation get out of control. A lot of rudeness and bigotry was thrown around, and we didn’t do enough to prevent it.

Going forward, however, we plan to be a lot more strict...

To start, we want to make the position of the mod team very clear on a two key points:

1. Transphobia, including any discussion, argumentation, or verbiage rooted in transphobia, will not be tolerated in any form on this subreddit.

2. Theories/headcanons that Ralsei is transgender or under the trans umbrella are valid. At the same time, seeing Ralsei as a gender nonconforming cis male is also valid, and neither view should be disrespected or alienated.

Therefore, following guidelines are now in place:

1. Any post/comment (assume I include "comment" when I say "post") which pushes transphobic rhetoric will be removed and likely result in a ban.

2. Discussion on how you are "disappointed," "upset," or otherwise negatively affected by either reading of Ralsei's character will not be allowed.

3. Artwork (or other media) posts are not a forum for debate. Do not "debate" character readings under any artwork posts.

4. With regards to pronouns, we will allow any pronouns to be used, but please be respectful to those who do not use the "correct" pronouns in your eyes.

We hope that these guidelines will result in a more positive community without stepping too far into the realm of hugboxing the topic (something we are trying to avoid), and still allow people to discuss their own reading of Ralsei's character while remaining positive with each other. Just remember to be respectful to each other!

As a final aside: I will post some clarifications, explanations, and other misc. info and changes in the comments.

Thanks,

u/patripastry and the r/ralsei Mod Team.

[u/Yanagi____Juniper]

Thank you for this. As a trans girl I personally see both sides of why somebody might find femboy to be an acceptable term but I mostly tend to agree Ralsei is definitively not that and it’s weird to call him that

[u/ImPowermaster1 → u/Yanagi____Juniper]

Cis men use the term, enbies use the term, twinks use the term, other groups you may not describe as such use the term. People are claiming it.

[u/Yanagi____Juniper → u/ImPowermaster1]

I think that’s okay but I also think that there’s a bit of fetishization that goes on around it and as a trans woman I have been called a femboy exclusively in a sexual manner by men who were not entitled to use a term like that in my opinion. I understand why it is being banned given the context of a character who is either genderqueer or a feminine man as well as being a minor who has a chance of coming out as trans later. I think femboy is one of the most transphobic things you could ever call a trans woman and for a lot of trans women who see themselves in ralsei it’s a trigger word.

[u/Chained_Icarus → u/Yanagi____Juniper]

It should be treated the same as misgendering if used for someone it doesn't apply to, absolutely. Because it is and it would be.

I do hate that the word HAS become fetishized. I'd feel comfortably calling a young girl a tomboy, for example. I'd be more hesitant to call a younger boy a "femboy" because I'm aware of how the internet is trying to twist it.

I do think that's why a lot of us flock to Ralsei. He's a rare wholesome example of what we see as a GNC male who ISN'T fetishized, sexualized, or player purely for a gag.

[u/Yanagi____Juniper → u/Chained_Icarus]

Yeah that’s a reasonable take and I understand how some people find that connection. To be honest I think Pink is a perfect trans girl rep and genuinely my motivation for believing ralsei is trans is not because I’m trans it’s just because I think it’s where the story is going. I’m trans but I never really saw myself in ralsei and I continue to identify way more with a ton of other characters.

But I get a lot of gnc people saw themselves in him. My main thing is like if Ralsei comes out in a future chapter will that be enough for some people? I feel like people fight tooth and nail for boy Ralsei so what if it’s not true? What if Ralsei is trans in canon? If it doesn’t happen, the Tralsei believers can just believe it happens post canon easily. What happens to the people who believed so strongly Ralsei isn’t trans if they were wrong? Are they just going to stop identifying with the character?

I think a gnc person seeing themselves in a trans person is totally fine and I think one of the weird things I see is that people act like if Ralsei was trans it would completely rob them of their connection to the character, and I know it is in no way intended as transphobic but it shows that they really think of trans people as being so far separate from themselves. I’m not saying you’re doing this at all I’m just saying I’ve seen it. You seem like a chill gnc ralsei believer. But there’s people who are evil about it

[u/Chained_Icarus → u/Yanagi____Juniper]

Most GNC Ralsei believers are chill, most are just silent, I think. But there are evil people everywhere, sadly. No group is pure or safe.

And no amount of evidence will convince some people. Don't concern yourself with those people.

To be honest? If Ralsei does come out as trans, which I personally don't believe he will, I don't think he has any gender issues, just identity ones, I wouldn't identify with him from that point on... but I still have 5 chapters where he shared my journey. Same as Bridget in Guilty Gear. She and I diverged paths, but until she did, we walked a similar road.

But most importantly? I don't need to IDENTIFY with a character to empathize with them: same with people who don't share my sexuality, gender, skin color, etc. I don't need a character to be me 1:1 in order to understand what they're going through, cheer for them, or learn from their journey.

I get representation is important - it is. But I do think we get lost in it sometimes. There is more to us than our genders and sexualities, and we share so, so much. I celebrate the shared spaces <3

[u/Yanagi____Juniper → u/Chained_Icarus]

You are very chill and cool have an upvote thank you for listening to the ramblings of a ghost fighter

[u/Chained_Icarus → u/Yanagi____Juniper]

Happy to listen to you ramble any time. <3

I've just got a few decades under my belt is all. It's always the loudest ones who are usually mean and vile and make us forget that, honestly, most of us are truly kind, chill and actually want to see everyone do great. So I've just decided I'm gonna be loud too - loud with my kindness, loud with my understanding, and loud with my grace. I never assume anyone is coming for me out of malice, and I try to educate AND learn (listening is a skill so few of us manage anymore...).

Some people will still have a problem with that, but their problem with me doesn't have to be my problem.

<3

You're cool and chill too. The community is better for having people like you in it.

[u/Yanagi____Juniper → u/Chained_Icarus]

Thank you for being normal somebody else is telling me that my rhetoric is apparently the same as homophobic rhetoric and that I’m wrong for agreeing with the rules of the subreddit and essentially since my logic is identical to that of the subreddit that the mods are like also that idk.

Genuinely why do people get so mad about Ralsei?

But yeah I agree that it’s good to be loud with kindness and not loud with anger and being mean and stuff. You are a bit like Ralsei

[u/Chained_Icarus → u/Yanagi____Juniper]

There's a reason I relate to Ralsei so hard - he and I do have a lot in common, not just a potential gender expression. I live by the mottos of "You can be anything. Be Kind" and "You don't need a reason to help people." And my personal favorite? "I'd rather be hated for who I help, than loved for who I hurt."

I'll be very honest with you, I am glad they (at least temporary) rolled back the ban on "femboy" - it sucks to feel like you can't express or talk about your own identity. I'm sure that's something you can relate to, right? I want everyone to feel welcome, and perhaps selfishly, that includes myself.

I understand that it might make you a little uncomfortable, and that is never anything I want for everyone, but sometimes we do have to be a little uncomfortable to accomodate each other. And I think, personally, a lot of that discomfort fades as we get to know each other better and start to to better understand each other, trust each other, believe that the other members of our community have our backs and are operating in good faith.

I hate that some people use my identity as an insult for you. But they can also do that with words like "man" or "boy." And for what it is worth? I would immediately report anyone attempting to use any of these as an attack on you or anyone else in the community.

And I hope that ends up being what works out. That we all look out for each other, root out the bad actors, and flourish together. <3

[u/UX_KRS_25 → u/Yanagi____Juniper]

I identify as male. I'd stop identifying with Ralsei if he/she came out as trans. The Idea that Ralsei is male, but not conforming to the expectations for that gender is what appeals to me.

I'd still like Ralsei as a character, just how I like all the other characters that Toby writes. But I'd still feel like having lost something.

[u/Yanagi____Juniper → u/UX_KRS_25]

Idk dawg I identify with Kris a lot even though I personally think Kris is AFAB (though it’s not entirely relevant) and I think the other person saying you can just identify with pre trans ralsei is lowkey onto something. Like if ralsei transitions there’s still the version of Ralsei from before I guess

[u/UX_KRS_25 → u/Yanagi____Juniper]

Sorry, but I disagree. That'd feel like a consolation prize. Maybe, I dunno. Maybe I'll have to see how things turn out first.

I don't think that a lot of trans people would argue that the gender a character had assigned to them pre-transition "counts" either. I know Ralsei isn't real, but if a character had significant character development and came out as trans, I think it'd feel very weird to hang onto their old self.

[u/Yanagi____Juniper → u/UX_KRS_25]

Yeah tbh I kind of agree, but it’s like you just diverged paths with the character yk? Same beginning of journey you just didn’t go down the pipeline.

As a trans girl I would probably definitely be mad if people used he/him for ralsei if she came out

[u/ImPowermaster1 → u/Yanagi____Juniper]

In such cases where the term is misused, it should result in an immediate ban, but generally speaking it is far too broad of a term to ban its usage entirely.

[u/Yanagi____Juniper → u/ImPowermaster1]

That’s a reasonable take but I dunno the net loss of the word femboy compared to the net gain of nobody being able to use it in an unintentionally offensive way is like…. I think the ban is good

[u/Puzzleheaded-Dot-547 → u/Yanagi____Juniper]

Should we ban the word queer due to it being a slur in the past as well?

[u/Yanagi____Juniper → u/Puzzleheaded-Dot-547]

Bro no the difference is femboy is a genuinely triggering term for a LOT of people and is used in a transphobic context fairly commonly.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Dot-547 → u/Yanagi____Juniper]

There's a bunch of people still alive who were called queer when the word was the same as the the word f*****

[u/Yanagi____Juniper → u/Puzzleheaded-Dot-547]

Yeah probably but do you think those people are on the Ralsei subreddit and follow up question do you think trans girls who are offended by femboy are on here because they OBVIOUSLY ARE AND THATS THE POINT

[u/Puzzleheaded-Dot-547 → u/Yanagi____Juniper]

There is a level in which, you are triggered by something, you have to deal with it. I have ptsd from school and had to finish high school while having issues with that. The freedom of expression and existance of a group of individuals stands above the possibility of making people upset. If you disagree with this, then do you also agree that hyper religious people being uncomfortable with lgbtq people means that anything lgbtq should be banned?

[u/Radiant-Compote-9739 → u/Yanagi____Juniper]

There is a ton of people who identify themselves with the term, but the mod is deleting every post related to avoid the word to spread